


The Basketcase and The Princess

by FakeShemp



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Female-Centric, Femslash, Multi, Other, Romance, bechloe - Freeform, staubrey - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:56:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 123,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeShemp/pseuds/FakeShemp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angsty but Fluffy AU timeline of Pitch Perfect. Read and enjoy. Reviews are love. Bechloe/Staubrey (mainly, read to find out more) New Chapter Posted Every Monday</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

New year, new start.

Is exactly what Chloe told Aubrey over and over on their pre-school year vacation in Ibiza. They had needed to let off steam. Their course of action was lazing on beaches by day and partying by night to forget about the world, if only for a little while. Chloe who had been the little beacon of positivity in Aubrey's life, believed it, and Aubrey had to fake it until it was true.

It had to be true, right?

Chloe and Aubrey returned to Barden, now the only two Bellas left. Everyone else either having graduated or dropped the a cappella group due to that one little incident. Ok maybe it wasn't that little of an incident. Maybe it was a big incident, and Aubrey was nowhere close to living down the extreme embarrassment of barfing during the performance at Lincoln Center. Add onto that they had both just came out of bad relationships. One of them had to be positive.

New year, new start?

Right.

Aubrey was determined to not let anyone make her feel worthless again. What had started out as drunken hook ups with Unicycle, she'd only learned his name was Michael after they'd actually started dating, had gone awry. He'd been hooking up with other women. Plenty of other women.

He was hot. And he knew it. He acted sweet. And knew how to use it to his advantage to get what he wanted and for a while Aubrey had fell for it. But that was the past.

New year, new start.

New Bellas. That was a place to start.

Someone on campus wouldn't have had access to youtube and not have seen the video. Aubrey had been instilled with an all or nothing attitude from her father. She was currently at nothing with all to gain. She was a Military Brat, never having lived in one place for very long but somehow she'd stayed friends with Chloe since her dad had been stationed in New Orleans. As her dad always said  
"If all you're squadron dies, recruit replacements to die instead of you."

There had to be more Bellas.

Right?

So wrong.

Chloe needed the Bellas more than Aubrey did, which was a big part of why Aubrey was determined to make it all work. For Chloe. They had been like each others family for most of their lives, and only had each other now they were both at Barden. No, that was harsh. They were never an "only". They were like sisters and Chloe had always wanted a sister, again.

Positive thinking. Chloe would rarely let herself think back on the past, not that it upset her like it did when she was twelve. When she did let her mind think about her sister, her mother, she thought of them with fondness, not sadness. She didn't miss Maura, who had been a family friend of the Beales since before Chloe had been born, whilst she had been away at college like she thought she was meant to either. Maura, she could never bring herself to call her mom, had taken in the teenage Chloe and given her pretty much everything.

Chloe had broken up, well it had ended, with Lana, over the summer. Lana had been a Bella, and they had been on and off and off and on all year. Chloe had wanted it to be more, thought it was more. Chloe had learned to leave the subject well alone of them going public with their relationship, always having caused arguments she could never win.

Chloe had convinced herself for a while that she was happy to live in secrecy with Lana but it just wasn't as fulfilling as she needed or wanted. When she pressed and pressed one too many times for them to come out as a couple therefore she'd be effectively outing Lana, Lana just couldn't do it. Chloe never hid her sexuality but Lana lived deep in the closet, and it drove Lana away from her.

Lana graduated and left.

Left Barden.

Left Georgia.

Left Chloe's life.

Chloe wouldn't let herself be someone's dirty little secret again.

Aubrey had only found out about Lana once it was over. She had been too distracted by Unicycle and her own crap fest of a relationship to see what her best friend had been dealing with. And then classes were over for the summer and she couldn't be there for Chloe every day like she wanted to.

They had both returned to their own families for the summer but when they met up at Chloe's home near the end of the break Aubrey found Chloe to be a shell of herself. Chloe had hidden her pain, they had talked, texted and skyped nearly every day but Aubrey had been clueless to her friends true pain. Aubrey had thought she had been handling her own break up badly. Boy had she been wrong after she compared herself to Chloe.

Aubrey had spent a few days, okay maybe a week, stalking Unicycles facebook page before blocking him. She had let herself cry once and accidentally cried one other time, and that was it. She kept her emotions bottled and in check.

It killed her to see how Chloe had been handling hers. Killed her that she had known nothing about it up until that point. And yet when she thought back to their conversations it had been so apparent and she was just too preoccupied with her own life to take notice.

She made a vow to never let Chloe get hurt like that again.

The Chloe that Aubrey met up with at the end of the summer wasn't Chloe. Chloe was an open book, a free spirit, she was happy. But the Chloe she encountered had looked drained, pale with dark circles under her eyes. Aubrey had to know what had her friend in such a state and it hadn't taken much prodding. Chloe had been at breaking point. A hug and a shared bottle of wine and it all came pouring out about Lana. How she had fallen hard for Lana, how it ended and then it was as if Lana had died. It was like the entire year previous hadn't happened, everything she had felt hadn't meant a thing.

Aubrey and Chloe continued after the one bottle of wine, and got totally wasted and talked and talked until they felt they had been exorcised of their past demons. The next day waking up to see that a drunk Aubrey had booked them on a flight out to Ibiza. So they went. And it helped. The sun helped. The sand and the sea helped. Time with Aubrey helped.

Chloe had started the summer out moping and depressed but by the time the school year had come around again Chloe had returned to her usual sunshine self. The holiday had a lot to do with that. Aubrey had a lot to do with that.

* * *

 

New year.

Georgia smelled like a new start. The trees, the grass, gosh Chloe could even smell the sunshine. Chloe needed the new start and more importantly felt ready for one. The day was beautiful, and Chloe was able to once again appreciate the little things in life that always made her smile. Today it was the piping hot cup of coffee Aubrey had ready for her next to fresh bagels from the store when she woke up, and the way her own new blue dress made her eyes pop.

The two women stood tall and tried to project how proud they were to be Bellas as they were out at the Activities Fair. Aubrey was tense and nervous about recruiting new Bellas. Aubrey felt like she was trying to adopt Chloe new sisters, as well as find some hot singers. Chloe had tried to calm her and give her words of encouragement that morning over breakfast.

New start.

They stood behind their booth, gaining bitchy remarks, references to Aubrey's faux pas that had went viral last year, and general complete ignorance from the female population of Barden.

Aubrey walked around the table onto the path, shoving more flyers in unwanted hands. Chloe followed. She'd follow Aubrey into battle if she asked. Aubrey certainly treat a cappella like war.

Aubrey had said she wanted hot and talented, and they had come up diddly nope so far. Chloe thought all the girls were hot, not in a sexual way, but like everyone is beautiful so why not just try and find good singers first and foremost?

Aubrey wasn't down with that. Aubrey wanted to have the best. Wanted to win. Would be the best. Would win.

It was starting to feel futile when Chloe spotted the hot part of the criteria across the quad. Hot in a sexual way. She felt her eyes all over this woman. A small framed dark haired woman with intense eyes and the most elegant profile when she turned in the sun, reminding Chloe of herself back when she'd went through an alternative phase in high school.

Time moved slowly. Chloe had that moment, when you just know this person's going to be something special in your life, and there's nothing you can do but hold on tight and go along for the ride. Then time sped up, way too fast.

Beca was sick of her life, and it was only her first day. She didn't want to be there. Most people have a gap year before college, but she felt like this was going to be her gap year before she moved to L.A and got on with her life, if she could even make a year, a month, a week at this place. Stagnant. Beca was over college already.

Beca was sick of finding fuck all at the activities fair, though she'd met someone called Fat Amy who had good craic, so that had to be a plus right? But nothing she could actually say she'd take seriously in the way of passing her time here.

Well there was always Quidditch if all else failed.

Wow, a smile, how could a smile be so bright and powerful? But it was and it pulled Beca in towards another booth when all she wanted to do was run from the smile. She pushed the fact that it made her heart just literally miss a beat behind her blockade that nobody was allowed to pass. Ever.

Chloe couldn't really remember the first conversation between her and Beca. Her heart pounding too fast in her chest, too loud in her ears. She thinks she tried to talk up the Bellas, make them sound as awesome as she truly thinks they are. She thinks Beca was an angry elf that kept putting a cappella down. She feels like she begged her to audition anyways because of how Beca was making her feel.

Alive.

She thinks it didn't go well. Like at all.

Beca thought a cappella sucked, and music was her life, but she wasn't afraid to tell these two women that a cappella did indeed unequivocally suck. She admired when the blonde called her a bitch, touché, she was being one. That was her. Defensive walls up.

Then she saw how her words were hurting the red head. And she felt a pain in her chest, a crack in her armour. She needed to leave. Like now.

Beca was gone and Chloe couldn't remember her going.

"She's not right for us Chloe," Aubrey touched Chloe's arm bringing time back to normal speed. Chloe and Aubrey knew each other so well Chloe knew exactly what Aubrey meant, that she wasn't right for her. But she was, Chloe had felt it. "She even said she didn't sing."

"I-I don't remember that." Chloe looked around for Beca, dazed, but she was gone.

"Yeah you sort of spaced out… Now Her," Aubrey waved her hand up and down as the most gorgeous tall drink of water walked by them across the path. "She's hot!"

"But can she sing?" Chloe tilted her head up to Aubrey. Aubrey saw Chloes pupils wide and dilated. She knew Chloes thoughts were still on the woman they'd just met. Aubrey wouldn't let Chloe get hurt, she'd try to keep a closer eye on Chloe this year.

"At this point I really don't care." Aubrey looked exasperated.

"Excuse me!" Chloe shouted gaining the tall woman's attention. "My friend," she motioned with the flyer in her hand to Aubrey. "Aubrey here," Aubrey plastered a big smile on her face trying to hide her sudden embarrassment thanks to Chloe. "She thinks you're hot. Hi, I'm Chloe."

"Stacie." Stacie smiled and nodded, rolled her eyes a little. She knows she's hot, so whatever, but then she sees how wide the blonde's smile is. Stacie is amused by how much the blondes cheeks and chest had flushed. This woman did not in any way need to be intimidated by her.

If you asked Stacie to go into her lab and build a perfect woman, she'd come out with somebody akin to the girl in front of her. She was down to tease her a little.

"You think I'm hot huh?"

"Uh…"

"She does, yes." Chloe smiled brightly at Stacie, not that Stacie really noticed not having taken her eyes off Aubrey.

"Uh.. I'm not blind." Aubrey's mouth clamped shut when the words come out without her own knowledge. She forced a tight lipped smile. She wouldn't be intimidated, dammit.

"You're hot too." Stacie waited for a reply but nothing comes out of Aubrey. "So you wanna give me a flyer?" Stacie reached out, her hand lingering in front of Aubrey. Chloe, who is amused by the entire scene, hands her one. "What's this...?"

"We make music with our mouths." Chloe says, looking briefly at her friend. Aubrey wishes she could run away. Any moment and she's going to hurl. She knows it.

And then Stacie laughs lightly, and all's right with the world. Beside Aubrey, Chloe is trying to sell Stacie on a cappella but Aubrey couldn't tell you anything her best friend is saying. Her entire mind is filled with the beauty in front of her, and focused on not bringing up her morning coffee and bagel. She hadn't seen someone this hot since she first met Unicycle, this time the year previous at the Activities Fair. Aubrey thought briefly that she would happily go through the heartbreak again if only to spend one night with this woman, and she hated herself for thinking that. But she's still thinking about it.

And then Stacies walking away.

And Aubreys locking her attraction away in a little box, tight in her chest. She needed to live with her head and not her heart, or her hormones.

"See you at auditions!" Chloe called over. Chloe placed her hand on Aubrey's arm to reassure her. Aubrey looked pointedly at her before returning her gaze to Stacie. When she looked back up Stacies looking at her over her shoulder, imprinting every inch of Aubrey to her mind. Slow. Aubrey swears she saw Stacie wet her lips. Yep. Aubrey knew she was in trouble. And a part of her didn't care.


	2. Chapter 2

Beca had been at least a little intrigued if not a bit interested, maybe at a push excited when she had gotten the job at the radio station. At least it was a step in the right direction.

A baby step. But a step.

Gotta walk before you can run. Gotta pay your dues. Before? What? She didn't seek out fame and fortune. Well fortune wouldn't be a bad thing. To be paid to do what you love, can't complain about that. But no. Not fame. Beca wasn't seeking that. So if a poxy job at the college radio station was a rung on that ladder, then she'd start climbing. It was just really hard to keep telling herself that this job was worth it.

Here she was, another week gone by since she last told herself she was gonna stick it out another week and if it didn't get any better she'd quit. It hadn't gotten any better. She hadn't quit. And once again another Monday rolled round where she told herself to just give it another week but she's just stacking vinyl's, so clearly it's not getting any better yet again when Jesse walked in. She had spent the majority of her first month at the station, hoping to manoeuvre her way into the booth. Onto the air. Anything to make it worth her time.

Maybe. Yeah maybe she had hoped for too much too soon. But this wasn't part of what she envisioned 'paying her dues' to be like. Not here. That would happen a little more out West.

He smiled his goofy smile at her as she wondered why it didn't make her feel like Chloe's had. She hadn't stopped thinking about that first smile of Chloe's. How it alone had drawn her in, like it was meant for her only. Shut up Beca you're being a total sap, she scolded herself, as the song 'Secret Smile' started to invade her thoughts. Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile and you use it only for me. Just stop it, Beca, stop it. Jesse made small talk as she had a conversation with herself in her own mind. Life would be so much easier if his smile effected her the way Chloe's had.

She made a conscious decision to not think about Chloe. She made this decision over and over realising that all she was thinking about was trying not to think about Chloe. Good plan Beca. You dumb ass.

She tried to think about how where she was right now in her life wasn't going to last. Barden wouldn't be forever. How her attraction to Chloe was fleeting. Had to be. She couldn't go another day with her brain completely pre-occupied by Chloe. Each morning since she had met Chloe she had woken up and rolled her eyes at herself as her first thought had been that Chloe existed. That out there was this perfect angel of a woman made for her. It took her only a minute or two of being awake to hate herself for thinking that. But each night she would be too exhausted, having trouble sleeping, headphones on, drifting off to her mixes and her final thoughts?

Chloe.

The songs she listened to permeating her dreams, no matter what the song was, if she was going to be honest, reminded her in some way of Chloe. The image of the sunniest of smiles dancing behind her eyelids.

Yes. That was where she was at.

No. She wouldn't be there forever.

She couldn't take another week of this.

She couldn't take another week at Barden. She couldn't take another week of Chloe's existence. She didn't know what she would do if forced to take one more week.

Give up? Give in? But to what? To who?

She knew rationally that she would look back and hopefully not even remember much of any of this. But she wasn't thinking nor feeling very rational right now.

Her ears perked up when she heard Jesse rambling on about auditions. Good going you dope, she thought, as she had managed to not think about Chloe for like a record breaking two minutes at that point.

"It's the coolest uncool thing you could do Beca, come on... audition with me tomorrow." He pouted, it was almost cute. No Beca it is cute, she told herself, he's a nice guy, that should be what you want. She had to want that. If she was going to continue this free ride at Barden, then there could be no Chloe. And Chloe would be at auditions.

"How about no?" She moved onto another stack of vinyls, turning her back to him and began to move up and down the rows of records. She needed to keep her head down and just get through as much of the school year as her father wanted her to. He would help her go and try to achieve her dream in Los Angeles, and it killed her that she needed his help, but she did.

She would not suffer the same fate as her brother. The family hadn't seen him in three years. She knew now that was in New York, pursuing his own dream, and even though she tried to keep in contact with him it proved hard when knowing her family would just clean kick the fuck off if they found out.

When he first left she had been completely unaware that he hadn't left of his own accord and that he had in fact been kicked out. She had been barely a teenager and swept up in her own high school world. High school had felt like the universe at the time, it had been hard to see past those harsh grey walls. Hard to see that high school would end, the bullying would end. And it had only gotten worse when William wasn't there for her any more. It got worse when the rest of her family gave her no answers. Why he hadn't turned up for her birthday and she had found a card from him in the trash. Why he hadn't turned up for Thanksgiving, or Christmas.

No closure.

"Come on Becaw!" She rolled her eyes, snapping out of her thoughts, disliking how he said her name but this is what flirting is meant to be right? She saw it between couples in high school, didn't understand it until William had tried to explain it to her. They would banter and were never really very nice to one another. She never really could grasp why someone would act like that to another person they were attracted to. But that's just the way it was according to William. "It'll give us something to do together that isn't stacking records…" He continued to try and convince her, she just wasn't interested in him. Beca wasn't trying to be a challenge but she figured that's how he was seeing this go down, that she was playing hard to get. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to get her mind off Chloe. And when she was alone all she did was pine after Chloe. "Although I can see that is your life passion."

"Can't you just start a band? That would earn you cool points."

"With you?"

"Ha!" Beca deadpanned. "No." It came out sarcastic, she was mostly sure she wasn't being sarcastic but he laughed anyways taking it as a joke.

"Ok ok… I know I don't need any extra cool points with you, with our deep connection we've got going on here... how about we go for drinks after we're done here, and I swear by your third drink if I haven't convinced you that a cappella can be cool I'll let you buy all the drinks."

"You're bizarre," She looked across at him, his eyes already on her as his smile grew from uncertain to hopeful "And that makes like no sense."

"I'll take that as a yes?" His smile grew until he beamed as the stack of vinyl's on the trolley got smaller and she was closer to giving in. And she did. Just like she had the day before, and swore she wouldn't again. Anything to distract.

It was her futile attempt at being what she thought was normal. Doing what she knew was expected of her. He was expected. Chloe was the unexpected. The scary.

* * *

 

Aubrey made sure her and Chloe arrived before the other groups. She had asked Chloe to get there a little early to get the seats right in front of the stage.

"Do you think she'll audition?"

"Oh yeah I saw her whilst getting our coffee's on the way in." Aubrey sat up straight and perky waiting on the other groups to arrive. She was sort of, kind of, dreading seeing Unicycle. Just a little. A little bit more than she was willing to admit, even to herself but seeing Stacie in the cafe had make it all better.

"Really?" Chloe didn't even wait for an answer already too excited to see Beca. It's not like she had been trying and failing to catch her around the campus. "That's awes!" Aubrey was too focused on the impending auditions, and how important they were, to realise Chloe thought she'd bumped into Beca.

The rest of the groups filed in, sitting around the auditorium waiting on the prospective students. They traded barbs. Aubrey wasn't going to let any of the Trebles, most of all Unicycle see her at anything but her best and most confident. As her dad always told her

"You can only prove you're the best by making others know they're losers."

Stacie was confident about the audition, knew she was a shoe in no matter what because of the effect she'd had on Aubrey. That wasn't going to stop her messing with her a little.

She was on the stage in front of them, having wore red trousers, cause like red equals sex and the fact that she knew they made her ass look amazing. She'd confirmed that when she caught Aubrey trying not to stare at her ass when they'd bumped into each other not a half hour beforehand as she left the cafe. She wore a low cut top that was barely a top to give Aubrey a good look of what she would get later. Cause there would be a later. And Stacie would have Aubrey.

"...cuticle care and the E Network..."

Stacie smiled. She was totally fucking with them. And she thinks they're buying it. Good God.

And then she sang, she can sing. But again she wants to fuck with Aubrey so she did her best impression of Jessica Simpson and sexualized the shit out of the song all whilst looking Aubrey dead in the eyes as she wandered her hands all over torso and down a little further than she even thought she'd going with it. And then she's touching herself.

Stacie really got into it, and off on how Aubrey watched her. Intently. Focused. Unblinking.

It felt like it was just them in the room as her eyes were on nothing and nobody but Aubrey. Stacie saw Aubrey's eyes darken with desire, she does, she swears it. Stacie could see Aubrey's breathing become slower, forcibly so. Stacie sees Aubrey take her bottom lip into her mouth slowly, and bite down. Stacies eyes wandered down past where she could see Aubrey's pulse racing in the veins in her neck, onto where Aubrey's hands rested on the table. Aubrey's posture so proper. So perfect. She can't help but wonder what an unravelled Aubrey would be like. All Stacie could think about is Aubrey's long elegant fingers. Long elegant fingers and how they would feel curled inside her. The thoughts make her hips sway more as she sang, imagining moving them against Aubrey. Imagining Aubreys moving in rhythm back against hers.

And then it's over and Aubrey's cheeks and chest are flushed, not that you would be able to tell by the serene look on her face how turned on she was. And Stacie just flashes her the most innocent smile she could muster and exited the stage.

Mission accomplished.

Beca heard everyone singing from the corridor, she had snuck a glance or two, okay maybe a lot more, through the door at Chloe. Her palms were clammy. She was about to leave. Was she? Chloe's eyes dropped and Beca stopped, hesitated.

Chloe started the auditions perky and upbeat but by the end with no sign of Beca her eyes were downcast and had lost their sparkle.

Chloe spotted a blur of movement at the door as Beca was deciding on whether she should stay or go, and ponder what the actual fuck had made her come in the first place. She just couldn't help herself. Knowing that if she came she would be able to see Chloe, and her mind hadn't processed any further than her need to see Chloe. And suddenly she's being beckoned over. Drawn into the auditorium by Chloe's bright eyes, her bright smile that narrows in on her through the crack in the door, the crack in the wall she places around her heart and she's on the stage in front of everyone. In front of Chloe.

Chloe.

Fucking Chloe.

She had no right to be that fucking beautiful.

It's worth the pain of the cracking in her walls, her barriers to deflect emotions to see Chloe's eyes light back up, to see that smile. God that smile.

Did Chloe know the effect her smile had? Was she using it intentionally to wound Beca?

Then Beca's leaning over, leaning down, taking her little plastic yellow cup away. Chloe should feel ashamed that yeah, she looks directly down Beca's top but she's only human. And boobs. So yeah no shame.

Then Beca sings, looking down nervously but gaining confidence every time their eyes meet. Fuck she shouldn't have come to the auditions. If Aubrey lets her in, she doesn't even want in, nope. This is all she can take of being near Chloe. But if she did, because she gets the feeling Aubrey makes the decisions, if she does then she can spend time with Chloe. That wouldn't be bad. It would be terrible. How could she get over this silly little infatuation if that happened. Nope. She'd leave the auditorium and never see any of them again. She just had to get to the end of the song.

Then suddenly somehow she is. She's finished, she can't remember how that happened. How she got through the entire song with Chloe looking at her. And Chloe was positively beaming, glowing, directly at her. Or maybe it's all in her mind. She hopes it is. If Chloe felt an ounce of what she felt then they are both monumentally screwed.

Fuck.

Fucking Fuck.

Fuck her.

And how she made Beca feel. Really feel. Like her heart was beating so hard she could feel it in her throat, her ears, her mouth.

She couldn't breathe and needed to leave immediately if not sooner.

And then its over.

Beca mumbled a thank you or a goodbye or a get me out of here and she wandered out the auditorium and into the night. Away from everyone. Away from Chloe. Away from her feelings.

* * *

 

Beca got in, was chosen, like it's a cult. It probably should be classed as one. There was kidnapping. Like literally. Bag over her head, thrown in a car. Kidnapped. These women were organised.

Then they, the special chosen ones, were at a party with the other aca-nerds. And could life get any worse? Yes, as Chloe hugs her. Beca stood stiff. Wanting it to be over. Wanting it to never end. But it does. And Chloe says something. Beca's mind is focused on trying not to feel. Focused on breathing. Focused on just standing. Focused on hearing Chloe's sweet little voice swirling in the air and into her ears, except Beca thinks her ears couldn't put together the sound wave that is Chloes voice. That she couldn't process such a heavenly chorus and she's missed everything Chloe's said to her and then Chloes off, dancing on her way to get a drink.

Jesse got to be one of the unlucky ones too. Beca had heard his audition, and he can sing. No, really sing. Not the way he does around the Radio Station, all silly and shit, but like actually really fucking sing. And she's proud. He looks so proud. Beca sees him heading towards her and she tight lip smiles at him. There may be a little wave. She wishes she could take it back feeling like an utter boob when she's intercepted by Aubrey.

Wow thank God for Aubrey. Wow, Beca thinks to herself for thinking that. Maybe she's misjudged her a little.

"Back off Treble, she's a Bella and there will be no fraternising between groups." Jesse looked at Aubrey as if he was waiting for a punch line. She was serious. Dead. Fucking. Serious.

Or maybe she hadn't misjudged her and Aubrey was a control freak, Beca mused. She'd let this one slide. Just this once. She already had one controlling figure in her life she called "Dad". She wasn't about to let Aubrey fill a much not needed position.

Jesse held his hands up and backed off. Shrugging at Beca, she shrugged back. He wasn't a bad guy. She had wanted to congratulate him. She felt like she wanted to see more of Chloe. Fuck she hadn't thought of her in like three minutes. New record? The fuck? Mitchell. Way to try and keep Chloe out of your life, go and audition, get in and now be partying with her. Really? Fucking, really, Mitchell. You complete utter fuck up.

"See you at work tomorrow… I guess." He trudged off down the steps and joined his fellow Treblemakers.

Aubrey looked her over closely, and then moved off to get a drink without another word. Chloe appeared in her place.

She handed Beca a drink.

Did Beca feel that? Chloe sure as jeepers did. Their fingertips brushed as she handed the drink over and she felt tingles of electricity go up her arm. The waves of them travelled until they were caught in her throat. She took a drink to suppress a need to cough to get air back into her lungs.

The two talked for a while. Beca thinks they did at least because she was too busy concentrating on not kissing Chloe. Telling herself over and over what a bad idea it was. How stupid she was to even be thinking about it. She'd met her like twice. They'd barely held a conversation together. She knew nothing about this woman but she wanted to. Wanted to kiss that smile that lent in a little, a lot too close into her. Not close enough.

Beca wanted to sit for hours and extract every memory, every secret, everything Chloe loved or didn't love. She wanted to know anything and everything about her. And kiss her. She really fucking wanted to do that. She could find out plenty by kissing her but you don't do that. Beca didn't do that. Beca's not impulsive. Beca's body detached itself from what was left of her rational mind, hormones took over, and her mind was too slow to even try and catch up. To tell her no. Stop. Fool. Don't be a dick.

Beca leant in and kissed-.

Air.

Air?

Chloe?

Beca hit air as she looked up and Chloe was shaking her ass talking about jiggle juice and walking off towards… where, it didn't matter because it was away from Beca, and she just wanted her to return. Return to the negative space that should have been occupied with Chloe's mouth.

"Make good choices!"

Choose me.

Eugh did she just think that, it was clearly the alcohol she hadn't even begun to consume yet but was about to drink in abundance to get these thoughts out of her head.

Chloe. Chloe's little ass shake. Chloe's ass. Beca forced her eyes to look further up, convincing herself to not be a total perv. Her eyes settled on Chloe's hair. Beca wanted to run her hands in it and draw her in close as she kissed her. No she wanted to experience the look in Chloe's eyes, God her eyes, the moment before she would kiss her. The way Chloe had looked into her own eyes over her shoulder as she was leaving screamed that she knew Beca had been going for a kiss. Nah, Beca was just delusional. And then Chloe winked.

Chloe winked and Beca's stomach dropped, surging liquid deep down, as she shifted from foot to foot feeling incredibly uncomfortable in her jeans.

Why did she have to leave?

Thank God she did. She didn't want her to. She needed her to leave. Where was Jesse?


	3. Chapter 3

Stacie was so happy to be chosen to be a Bella, not that she had any doubt she'd get in. She just knew for her own sanity that she needed one fun activity to be a part of during her time at Barden. Her classes took up nearly all of her time and energy, and were honestly just really stressful.

The Bellas, the whole a cappella thing looked like a chill fun time where she could forget for a while. Where she could take up her old love of music again. Plus Aubrey. So yeah.

Stacie swears she's there for her love of music, which she never gets to express any more. Her parents had her invest time in music when she was young, based on studies linking musical ability to better grades all round, but then somewhere along the way it all fell to the way side. Sadly.

Happily she'd been essentially cat called over by Chloe. A plus.

She had been looking for the Bellas booth at the activities fair that day when Chloe had called her over. She had seen that video from the year before, had found it hilarious, and kinda wanted to say she'd met them. And maybe, she'd try out. Maybe. She had been in two minds about that.

Then she had met Aubrey.

Aubrey, who happened to be the barfing woman from that video.

Aubrey, who she had never noticed when watching that unfortunate performance, in that video, was absolutely stunning.

Aubrey, whose hair, make-up, smile, whole entire presentation of herself was just so poised and perfect.

Aubrey, whose perfect hair, perfect make-up, perfect smile, whose whole entire presentation of perfection she wanted to crack and dig and scratch at the surface at and see what was lying below.

Aubrey seemed to take this whole a cappella thing a little too serious. Just like Stacie took her college work. Dead. Fucking. Serious.

And Stacie liked that.

A lot.

Her mind had been made up there and then. She would be a Bella. She would have Aubrey.

Stacie liked things her own way. About as much as she reckoned Aubrey liked things her own way. She wasn't going to have Aubrey make what she wanted to be the one fun thing in her life be another chore. She wanted this time they would inevitably be spending together as part of the Bellas to be something they could look back upon with fondness. She just wanted to have a good time. Before the rest of life inevitably got in the way.

Stacie wanted to lighten and loosen Aubrey up. See a wilder side to Aubrey. She really wanted that. Not that she wasn't immediately attracted to the Aubrey that Aubrey presented to the world, but she knew there had to be more to this woman. And she wanted to see more.

How? She would start with that ridiculous rule she overheard Aubrey preaching at Beca and some guy.

"Your rules about The Trebles? Just them or-?"

"Oh all the groups, they're totes off limits." Aubrey took a sip of her drink, her eyes harsh and serious as she scanned the other groups, wondering who Stacie had her eye on, wondering who her competition was. Only she didn't notice Stacie's eyes never leaving her.

"Even fellow Bellas?"

"Oh you and Cynthia? I've seen the way she's been looking at you."

"And I've seen the way you've been looking at me."

"Acca-scuse me!" Aubrey's eyes widened, snapping to look in shock at Stacie. Stacie purposely let the silence build between them, drawing her lip between her teeth as she tried, and mostly failed, to suppress a smile.

"You heard me." Aubrey waited for her to continue but she just stared at her intense, yet playful, a cat and her mouse.

"I-I don't.." Stacie could see a crack beginning to form in Aubrey's perfection. "I mean... uhh..." Another crack teasing at her surface as words failed Aubrey "You're fucking with me... right?"

"I don't fuck around about fucking around and I really…" Stacie smiled a little drawing out her words. "...wanna" She couldn't help her smile widening. "...fuck you." Stacie let her words hang, offering Aubrey no more than her small smile growing wider and wider feeling the air buzz between them. "Wanna go somewhere... more private?"

"Wow..." Aubrey mumbled low, barely audible, taken aback. Aubrey's breath caught in her throat at how Stacies smile changed her face so completely. Stacie was already drop dead but then she smiled, like really smiled, the sort that makes your eyes shine and hers did.

And Aubrey couldn't focus on anything but Stacies eyes.

And tried to not think about where her mind had went. Kept going back to.

And tried to not think what Stacie's eyes would look like looking up at her, over her naked writhing glistening body and into her own eyes from between her legs.

The more she tried to not think about it, the more she did. The more she didn't want to think about it, the more she did. Until all she could almost feel Stacie's lips upon her and her stomach did a flip. Excitement.

She felt like Stacie could read her mind as Stacie took Aubrey's hand. Fingers laced. Together.

Aubrey downed the rest of her drink, leaving it behind as she let Stacie lead them down the steps. Away. Away from everyone. Stacie might still be fucking around... right? Aubrey prays to God she's not. She doesn't care how it all ends, she doesn't think beyond that night. She didn't realise how much she needed this feeling again, the feeling of wanting, being wanted, she just needed this night with this gorgeous woman.

Tomorrow is tomorrow. And will be dealt with then. Tomorrow.

And as much as Aubrey swore she wouldn't act like this again like she had at the start of the previous year with Unicycle, when their relationship had started with random drunken hookups, she felt herself not caring. Felt herself letting go to the firm grip Stacie had on her, the one place in her life she could let go, just a little, and let someone else take the lead. Only a little. She found a serene sense of control on the situation by letting someone else lead. Leading in letting.

But it wasn't long before Aubreys the one leading the way, a step and a half ahead, barely, but enough to make Stacie chuckle to herself, knowing Aubrey would have to take the lead and decide where they would go.

Stacie let her.

Aubrey was letting Stacie let her.

And then they find themselves outside the Bellas house. Aubrey is sick of feeling hurt and just wanted to feel good again. Stacie. Stacie is all kinds of good. Good God.

Because Stacie was right, Aubrey had been looking at her. A lot. Not that that meant anything. Aubrey could fuck around too and it mean nothing. Every attraction she had to someone didn't have to have an emotional attachment. Just so far in her life it mostly always had. This woman certainly didn't mean anything to Aubrey.

Nope.

She could detach. Right? Right.

Stacie was the only one she was certain about having join the Bellas, just as Chloe was dead certain she wanted that midget in. Stacie had actually fit the main criteria. She was hot. That didn't have to mean anything. Aubrey could let herself enjoy the hotness of Stacie and not get suckered in with emotions. That's where it had all fallen apart with Unicycle. She had developed feelings. Pesky feelings. And he hadn't.

This time she would cut that shit out. Emotionless.

But now she'd been alone with this woman, seeing her closer and talking with her for the most part of the night she saw and was drawn in by her intoxicating beauty, or maybe it's just her boobs. Cause Aubreys not really been able to take her eyes off Stacies all night.

At least she hadn't been thinking about her since the Activities Fair, the way Chloe hadn't shut up about Beca. She could tell that Chloe thought she had been so subtle when she randomly kept bringing up Beca and Aubrey could see the guilt pass in her eyes. Aubrey pretended that she didn't see it, nor notice how much Chloe talked about the midget. If she ignored it, Chloe's crush might just go away? Maybe? Was it working for her crush on Stacie? Well... no.

Aubrey thought if she pushed or prodded at Chloe's growing affection, at her crush, she'd just drive her to Beca. She didn't want that. Didn't really want Chloe interested in anyone. But only because of how badly Chloe had been hurt last time, and she was her Chloe, she wanted to take care of her. So she let Chloe have her little crush, at least she'd not have her heart broken if it stayed a stupid little crush. Just like hers was just a silly little crush.

No harm in that. Right?

Aubrey let herself think about Stacie once or twice the rest of that same day, ok maybe a few thoughts of her as she had went to bed that same night, but nothing she would ever admit to. Since then she'd been able to keep occupied with the start of the college year. She was pretty good at monitoring her own thoughts. Her own feelings. Her thoughts and feelings when it came to someone hot sometimes, just maybe, once or twice got a hold of her and made her feel very unlike herself. And then she'd look back on how she was when she thought she was falling for someone and she didn't recognise herself. Falling for Stacie? Nope. She didn't just think that. Crush. That's all. An innocent crush, that once they bang will be out of her system and she can concentrate back on the Bellas. And life in general. The Bellas and winning is life.

* * *

 

Stacie was fully aware what a wonderfully gooey mess her body puts people in, and yeah she likes to work it but she wasn't prepared for the way Aubrey was now making her own body feel. Their hands hadn't left one another's all the way back to the Bellas house and still hadn't as Aubrey got her key in the lock with one hand and them both in the door whilst holding onto Stacie.

Neither had words.

Aubrey led them into the hallway. She was thankful she now had her own room in the house, whereas the previous year she had shared with Chloe. The new Bellas could move in and take shared rooms if they liked but right now it was just her and Chloe occupying the house. And they'd left Chloe back at the party.

Stacie enjoyed the view of Aubrey's ass and hips swaying in front of her until she found she was in her room.

Aubrey let her hand go, turned and closed the door behind her, leant back onto it as Stacie stood in the darkness of the room in front of her. She waited for Stacie to say something, anything as she watched Stacie move around her room a little, until Stacie found the small lamp Aubrey had bought last time she and Chloe were on holiday and turned it on.

Aubrey's breath was taken away as Stacie turned around to face and walk back towards her, where she realised was still clinging onto the door, totally not to keep herself upright. It was the alcohol, just that.

Nothing else that was making her legs weak beneath her.

Nope.

She could totally cope with how hot she found Stacie.

And then Stacie was right in front of her, her hand scrunched in her pink top and she pulls Aubrey into the room, back off the door, into her.

Then she stops. Stacie stops. Don't stop, Aubrey thinks, please, don't stop.

Stacie waited. Smirking.

Stacie felt Aubrey's perfection unravelling before her. Twisting. Cracking. Seeing another person emerge in front of her. One somehow more beautiful. An innocence.

Aubrey couldn't take her eyes off the smirk. Stacies lips. Her eyes dipped down briefly to Stacies chest rising and falling. Aubrey could feel her own heart fighting in her chest, beating out a strange rhythm. Aubreys eyes flicked back up to that smirk and she wanted to kiss it off Stacies face.

Aubrey's eyes met Stacies, Stacies were focused solely on Aubreys mouth. Aubrey's tongue slowly moved over her own lips, wetting them in anticipation. Stacie felt herself tingle, every nerve reaching out to Aubrey. Ready. Waiting. Impatient. Wanting. Aubrey now. Wetness pooling at solely seeing the flick of Aubrey's tongue.

And then lips were on lips, and cheeks, necks, sucking, biting, tongues probing, all wet, sloppy, exploring, fighting for dominance, hands buried in hair, tugging, pushing, pulling, until Stacies jacket is flung off across the floor and Stacie is underneath Aubrey on her bed, her little white top pushed and pushed until that too is flung into a dark corner of the room.

Stacie stills, she looked up to find Aubreys eyes raking over her body. She loved the feeling of being under Aubreys black gaze. Of being appreciated. She's always appreciated by everyone who has ever laid eyes on her. She's hot. Yeah. Whatever. But she feels something different behind Aubreys eyes. Conflict? A fight of emotions behind Aubrey's gaze. It excites her like none other before. It sends a shiver down the middle of her. Down her spine. Spreading out along every inch of her back like wings.

Aubrey faltered a second, the alcohol clouding her vision as she realises slowly that she has Stacies breasts in her hands and that makes her giddy, she felt a rush and flutter in the pit of her stomach. Her mind stopped, tries and tries to block out how this is making her feel. She wants to feel, physically, literally. Not in any way emotionally. But its there. Winding. Twisting. At her core.

Aubrey ignores. And tries to concentrate on feeling. Physically. Literally.

And then she's under Stacie, Stacie using the break in their intense kisses to flip them. Her thigh pressed into Aubrey's centre. Aubrey gasped.

Aubrey wasn't even sure if she gasped out of surprise at Stacie dominating her, or at the feeling that jolted through her via Stacie's thigh. Maybe it was both. Yeah Aubrey was good with it being both. Was she? She couldn't recall being topped before. So maybe not good with it, but it was new. New was good.

Stacie smirked as she leant into Aubrey, kissing Aubrey again and pressing into her harder. Shifting. Testing. Gauging her reaction. Harder. Softer. Another shift. Harder again. Pressing. Testing. Pressing. Leaning. Kissing. Nibbling. Sucking. Tongue flicking, twirling as she bent more and more into Aubrey, her ass grinding down onto Aubrey's leg as her kisses move across Aubrey's chest, up her neck and nibbled an ear. Stacie moaned into Aubrey's ear and was rewarded by Aubrey's hips rolling up off the bed in response.

Yeah Aubrey liked this. A lot. The feeling of Stacie pressed down hard against her. Fully. Fitting together. The right pieces of a puzzle.

Aubrey's hands pushed Stacies bra up off her breasts. Aubrey was unable to even take the time to remove the bra, instead more than happy to just have Stacies breasts uncovered from the lacy material enough for Aubrey to cover them with her hands. Stacie moaned again and returned her kisses to Aubreys mouth but Aubrey quickly moved her mouth to Stacies breasts, sucking, tongue flicking, tasting, feeling. Stacie moaned deeper as Aubrey continued her sucking, her tongue pressing, flicking more, twirling over hardening nipples and soft flesh.

Her own name hitting her ears, over and over as it spilled from Stacies lips. Tumbled amongst heated breaths, gasps.

Stacie unclasped her own bra, and wiggled out of it, Aubrey's mouth trailed its way to Stacies neck and placed wet kisses there until the bra was gone. Stacie was completely naked from the waist up now as Aubrey returned her mouth to her breasts. Aubrey's hands travelling down Stacies rib cage to her hips, guiding Stacies grinding down into Aubrey's centre.

Firm. Pulling on her hips. Trying to steady Stacie, make her move to a rhythm that Aubrey wanted, that played beautifully in Aubreys mind.

Aubrey tried to roll them so she'd be the one on top of Stacie again but they ended up face to face on their sides. Stacie pulled hard on Aubrey's top, trying to keep some semblance of control and not rip it off her as they rolled back to where they were. Stacie over Aubrey.

And then Stacies hand tugged at Aubrey's hair, pulling her away. Stacie hated seeing the rejection and hurt in Aubrey's confused eyes when they met. She went to kiss Aubrey lightly, stopping and pulling Aubrey away by the hair again when Aubrey's tongue started to fight with Stacies. Started to deepen the kiss. Started what wouldn't be able to be stopped if Stacie didn't stop them right there. Right then.

A second more and Stacie knew she couldn't stop herself, knew she wouldn't want to. Wouldn't care. Couldn't care less.

And she'd have Aubreys clothes ripped off and she'd be tasting every inch of her. She'd have Aubrey begging her for release.

"I want you..." Stacie placed a chaste kiss on Aubreys parted lips, rolling off her, trying to avoid the hurt and confusion in Aubrey's eyes. "Sober."

They lay next to one another, their breathing slowing. Trying to control their desire for each other. Electricity build up in every fibre, waiting for an outlet.

"Are you going to leave?" Aubrey asked into the waiting dead air between them. Her voice came out too loud to her own ears. She cringed. The words she just spoke repeating over and over sounding needy, and she wishes she could grab them and shove them back into her mouth. Swallow them never to be repeated.

Stacie answered her with a modest kiss to her cheek. Aubrey wasn't sure what to make of it, she waited for Stacie to move, gather her clothes and leave when she felt Stacies arm encircling her. Bringing her into her side. Close.

Yes Stacie wanted her and could very clearly feel how wet she was when she had rolled off Aubrey. So wet that she had to fight in her own mind. Tell her not to change her mind. To not take Aubreys hands and place them down past her waist band, down past her panties and... no she couldn't finish the thought because she wouldn't be able to hold back, she needed release. Needed Aubrey. But she wanted to remember every breath, every touch, wanted them both to remember every moment.

She awkwardly kicked off her jeans, needing to be out of them no matter what and drew the covers over them. Stacie tried to steady her breathing, taking in, and deeply smelling the sweet honey of Aubreys hair as Aubrey snuggled into the crook of her neck.

Aubrey breathed purposively deep and slow. Never really dropping off, never really getting any sleep of any kind. Too tightly wound. Too turned on to be able to relax. She begged in her mind for the exhaustion to take her away, let her drift off in Stacies embrace. But every movement, every rise and fall of Stacie's chest lit sparks within her.

* * *

 

Stacie woke with the sun filtering through the blinds, unsure for a beat where she was until she felt a warm embrace surrounding her. Looking down with half shut eyes she saw the most beautiful sight.

Aubrey.

Last nights events came floating back to her, and a smile formed on her face starting with her eyes. Audrey's sleepy eyes met her own and she felt Aubrey's lips moving lazily over her neck, she let her. Wanted her to continue, move her lips up to her mouth, no travel them down to her breasts. Further. Further still, until...

Stacie moaned low in the back of her throat.

"How you feeling?" Stacie asked cautiously.

"...Sober."


	4. Chapter 4

"Me too." Stacie moaned into Aubreys open mouth as they started kissing, instantly wet and sticky tongues meeting but just as Stacies eyes were fluttering shut she spied the time on Aubreys bedside table. "Oh no!" Stacie leapt out of the bed in a blur. Aubrey turned onto her back. Wide eyed. Stunned. Aubrey hummed in amusement as Stacie ran around the room trying to find her discarded clothing. "No no no... no! I've got class in like... eight minutes." Aubrey chuckled quietly with a smile dancing on her lips. "Don't laugh." Stacie jokingly pointed a finger towards Aubrey. Aubrey looked up at her, her eyes bright yet puffy with lack of sleep. Stacie wanted to climb back in bed with her, over her, sink down into her, tangle her hands in those surprisingly unruly locks and- "Damn."

Stacie sighed, shaking her head, trying to rid herself of her thoughts.

"Hmmmm" Aubrey stretched, arms twitched a little, numb, the feeling returning after being in Stacies embrace all night. "You could always..." Stacie quirked an eyebrow at her as Aubrey ran her fingers through her own hair and sat up a little.

"Don't even say it. You say it and I will and I can't, I really need to go to class." Stacie was almost ready. All that was left was to find her boots, she hopped over as she placed one on and then another and gave Aubrey a small quick kiss. "I'll ring you later." Another kiss. And another. And another. Stacie tried to pull away but she couldn't help the small kisses growing longer. Her mouth opening as Aubreys hands delved into her hair. Aubrey's tongue lazily licking into Stacies mouth as Stacie mumbled "...Damn woman..." back into Aubrey. Stacie forced herself to pull away, barely, from Aubreys warming kiss. "Stop."

Their breaths indistinguishable from one anothers. Lips still against one anothers, trembling.

Stacie wanted to stay. Fuck off her classes for the day, and fuck the day away with Aubrey. She wasn't at Barden for that. So she moved. Away.

She kissed the end of Aubrey's nose playfully and finished putting her boots on. With one last kiss to Aubrey's forehead, because she just couldn't help herself, she left, running down the hall, down the stairs and out the door and across campus to her first morning class.

Aubrey stretched into every part of her bed as she could, every inch was already warm from where Stacie had been. She tossed a pillow over her face. The sun bright. Harsh. She didn't have a class until two. She had time to grab some sleep, now that Stacie was gone. But... yeah she was worked up, in the most wicked way.

She turned, flat on her stomach, smooshed her face into her pillow, her eyes tight. Sleep dammit sleep.

Sleep?

No.

Aubrey was exhausted and yet nothing. Nanda. Zip. Zilch. The big goose egg.

She got to her feet, closed her blinds, the room a shade darker now and tossed all her clothes off and onto the floor, not caring where they landed as she made her way back into bed. Usually she was very neat but right now she just needed to sleep, she'd tidy up later.

Cool air.

The feeling of her sheets as she pulled them up over her head made her tingle. She turned, a huff coming from her, a little moan in frustration. Face down again, one arm under her pillow and she screwed her eyes tight. Sleep please just a few hours at least, please, she begged herself. Sleep couldn't come soon enough. Sleep just couldn't come.

Aubrey peaked out from under her covers, it had felt like she'd been lying there an hour. It had been literally twelve minutes since Stacie had left.

Good God.

She pulled the covers back over her head and pouted. Another moan of frustration.

Her eyes were sore, lids heavy. And she felt herself drifting, the image of Stacie in her mind, talking with her on the steps at the aca-party. Her boobs in that white top. Talking and just wanting to know random shit about her, and boobs. Her mind focused on the image of them in her skin tight white top, the top pushed up over her bra as one of Aubrey's hands started to wander. She let her hand meander over her bare skin after thinking she shouldn't but she was too exhausted, her mind dizzy, clouded, and she let it. Goosebumps. She ghosted over the pounding in her chest, squeezed her breast, gentle, light. Squeezed again but harder, a moan strangled in the back of her throat as she thought about Stacies breasts in her hands.

Fuck.

Frustrated.

Aubrey shifted her legs a little, feeling the heat at her centre, but breathed in and out slowly.

Forcibly.

Steady.

Aubrey moved her hand to lie to the side of her as she sighed. She shifted again, kicking her legs out a little. The sheets heating up over her. She heated up the air under the sheets. Her body heat filling the space that was earlier occupied by Stacie. She told herself not to touch, don't feel, just don't Aubrey don't, but her hand was already moving. She let it. Wanted it. Needed it. Her eyes rolling closed, drifting but not falling asleep.

Her long fingers barely touching her own skin, the tips of her fingers ghosting over her ribs, her hips, until they rose and she settled. A gasp.

Gentle.

Barely.

Lightly.

Aubrey touched herself, just once.

Brief.

But enough to send tendrils of electricity through her. Bringing her fingers away as her stomach twitched and a shuddering breath fell out of her. Her eyes had shot open, and as exhaustion slipped behind her eye lids, her fingers found there way to her centre again. Working with a mind of their own. Again and again, gently she touched herself. Fingers instantly sticky. Wet.

Aubrey felt a gasp building and building. The quiet of the house was deafening, and she didn't want Chloe hearing her.

She swallowed it back thickly. Needing water. Her tongue feeling large in her mouth, but each time she swallowed being too lazy to just get up and grab a drink, she tasted Stacie on her tongue. Stacies kiss still on her lips.

Aubrey let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding as one finger dipped into herself. Warm. Wet. She trailed the digit back up and over her clit.

A moan.

It sounded loud in her ears, and she bit back another one as her fingers twirled over and over, feeling her hips pushing involuntarily down. Down. Up and down. Up and down. Over and over and over, fingers slipping in and in and in as she pushed down harder and harder.

Aubrey bit her lip, keeping in the moans, strangling herself with them deep in her throat. It hurt her when she tried to swallow again. Her fingers moved within her. Slower and slower as her mind became more aware of what she was doing and she tried to stop. Aubrey was making herself more tense when all she wanted was to let go. Tense and turned on.

Aubrey removed her fingers, regaining control, mind over matter. She knew without a doubt that she wanted it to be Stacie.

Stacie.

Why she couldn't let herself go.

Stacie. Just Stacie had to be the one to touch her like that, not even herself.

Aubrey removed her hand from under her hips, as she brought both arms over her head. Aubrey let out a long sigh, muffled a whine into her pillow.

* * *

 

"Ooh good you're in!" Chloe rushed past Aubrey, who lounged in their front room surrounded by papers and her laptop on her knee. Chloe placed a quick kiss on top of Aubrey's head as she made her way to the kitchen. "I got us sushi." Chloe called over, the happy sing song way she did making Aubrey smile for the first time that day.

"Splendid, I'm starving." Aubrey had drifted in and out of sleep until she had nodded off and woke up missing her classes completely. And Stacie hadn't rang. Not that it bothered her. So she had threw herself into Bella work for the remainder of the night. Set lists needed to be put together, choreography and outfits coordinated. It all had to be planned. By her. Everything was all on her. Her vision.

Chloe sat beside Aubrey, moving and stacking papers, only when Aubrey gave the nod to. Chloe tucked her legs up under her, settling and turning on the television.

"Netflix?"

"Yeah some background noise is fine, thanks Chloe."

"Anything for my Bree." They smiled at each other and sat in comfortable silence as they ate their way through their food. Aubrey ate slowly as she spent most the night on her laptop.

"Will you give this a listen…" Aubrey took the remote from beside Chloe and paused the television.

"I already know it's gonna be good."

"Just... please?" Aubrey studied Chloe closely as she pressed play. Chloe's smile spreading over her features, the way her eyes lit up as she listened. Aubrey paused the track.

"Why'd you stop it?" Chloe playfully pushed against Aubreys shoulder.

"Hmmm I dunno…it's not." Aubrey sighed, hands back at her keyboard "I'll figure it out."

"We'll figure it out." Chloe placed her hand on and rubbed the side of Aubrey's leg.

"So you agree it's not working yet?"

"I never said that." Chloe sighed speaking slow. Stroking. Up and down.

"I'll figure it out." Aubrey pressed play on the television remote again. "You can go back to your documentary."

"Fine," Chloe pouted knowing how stubborn Aubrey was, she removed her hand and snuggled down into the couch. "But I'm staying here with you case you do need help."

"I don't need help." She caught the slight down turn in Chloe's bright eyes as they flicked to look in her own lap. "...though I would like a cup of tea."

"Green?" Chloe perked up again instantly.

"Please… you know what I like." Aubrey smiled, happy to see Chloe happy.

"As you wish m'lady." Chloe bounced up off the couch, made her way to the kitchen, clearing away their dishes as she went. She wished Aubrey would just let her help, she was officially the Co-Captain of The Bellas, but it was in name only since Aubrey was so Aubrey about being Captain.

Chloe returned and placed the cup beside Aubrey. The cup had been a present she had made for Aubrey when they were younger, at camp together and on the side it read '#1' because Aubrey had always been competitive. She remembers making it. Thinking and pondering over what she should paint on after the #1 but Aubrey liked to be #1 in anything she did, so she had left it at that. Aubrey was #1, her #1.

"Hmmm beautiful." Aubrey took a sip, after blowing on the steaming liquid. "Thanks Chloe."

"So what happened to you last night?" Chloe asked. Aubrey stilled, not looking up from her cup. "Thought I'd not notice my best friend leaving the party early without me?" Aubrey carefully put the cup down beside her. Hands returning back to her laptop.

"Nothing happened." Chloe narrowed her eyes at Aubrey, not buying it. "I swear Chloe nothing happened." Chloe pursed her lips at her, her eyes narrower. She shook her head, a smile breaking out on her face. "Ok ok-"

"-You left with Stacie, I know I saw!" Chloe was up on her knees now, she clapped like a little child. "So?" She drew the word out.

"I told you Chloe, nothing happened." Aubrey shrugged and sighed. She tried to go back to her work on her laptop but couldn't focus with Chloe bouncing like a puppy beside her.

"But you wanted it to? Yeah? Bree... you into women now too?" Chloe playfully winked.

"I…" Aubrey closed her laptop. Chloe was demanding her full attention. "I..." She shook her head.

"Is this some sort of college experimentation type thing?"

"I... I don't know. It's not even a thing."

"Yet. You were gonna say yet. Cause you want her." Chloe practically sang. She gave Aubrey a little punch to the shoulder. "Bree's got the hots."

"The hots? Chloe… Really? The hots Chloe please!" Aubrey placed her laptop down beside her, took her cup back into her hands and rolled her eyes as she drank.

"You're not denying it." Chloe continued in her almost singing manner, bouncing.

"There's nothing to deny."

"Yet."

"...Chloe." Aubreys spoke her name in a warning tone. "There's nothing to deny, because nothing has even happened yet." She bit her lip as she realised what she had said. "I'm going to bed. Thanks for the lovely evening, Chloe."

"The hots!" Chloe called up after her as Aubrey left the room, shaking her head.

"Stop it!" Aubrey laughed as she ascended the stairs. "Goodnight, love you."

"You too, night."

* * *

 

"I just got a notification for the first rehearsal tomorrow." Chloe padded down the stairs of the building after her class got out, and right into Aubrey, who waited for her. Chloe had her phone grasped in her hand, as she waved it right in Aubrey's face.

"Well I did just post it…" Aubrey backed away from down the steps. "And hello to you too, thanks for the caramel latte Aubrey, why it's no bother, Chloe."

"Short notice much?" Chloe put her phone in her bag, ignoring Aubrey's fake conversation, but taking the caramel latte out of Aubrey's hand. "Thank you." She spoke quietly, a small smile as she took a sip. Humming in contentment as the warm sugary liquid ran over her tongue.

"You're welcome and the short notice...ness… it weeds out the weak."

"Bree, give them a chance. Please?" They walked side by side toward home.

"I just want the best."

* * *

 

Stacie sat in the front row. Centre. Nobody was going to get in her line of sight of Aubrey. She looked up around the auditorium, noticing the way the light filtered down through the high windows and cast Aubrey in a spotlight. A glow. She smiled taking in the sight, breathing in deep, trying to commit the light musky smell of the space to memory.

Aubrey scanned the room, not all seats were taken so she'd already weeded out some of the women who couldn't be relied upon. She tried to not let her eyes stop and stare at Stacie lounging back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, long toned tanned legs stretched out for Aubrey to admire. And she succeeded.

Mostly.

Chloe had been watching all the women enter the room. No Beca. Her brow furrowed, but her eyes held hope. Beca hadn't been into the whole a cappella thing on their first meeting but she had shown up for auditions, and blew them away. Chloe had to hope the latter Beca was going to show up. The one that had for some reason decided against her obvious snarkyness and attitude to make a leap and try out for the group. Hope that Beca would show up for her. Yeah Chloe did think Beca had auditioned just to see her again, that Beca had felt the same electricity between them that she had.

Hope.

"Welcome to the first rehearsal." Ok so maybe her eyes settled back on Stacies long legs, but only because Stacie wore incredibly short shorts. White shorts. Which Aubrey swore was on purpose, to make her tan pop more. Aubrey was right. Stacie had wore them to get a reaction out of Aubrey, and she smirked when she saw Aubrey fighting to keep her eyes off her.

"Umm not everyone is-"

"Chloe don't interrupt me, the schedule please." Chloe looked down as went and flipped the board as instructed. "I want you all to follow the schedule as I have laid out."

In charge mode Aubrey was really doing things to Stacie and the hunter, she didn't appreciate how she was talking to Chloe but her body was responding.

Aubrey went over when in the week they would be rehearsing, which to Stacie seemed like always and she was starting to worry how she was going to fit this around her college work. But then just as Aubrey turned to point to something on the board, she flashed Stacie a quick bright smile, and Stacie knew she'd fit in time with Aubrey. She'd make time. And her eyes raked over the back of Aubrey's calves. She licked her lips. Smiling as Aubrey turned back around and caught where Stacie's eyes had been as they made their way up over her torso. Slowly.

Aubrey kept perfect composure as she enjoyed the heat that ran through her chest, spreading out slowly, as she felt Stacies eyes meandering their way up her body.

"We've got the most important item to give you all now before you go, Chloe?" Chloe followed Aubrey to where Aubrey had the scarves. "Sorry." Aubrey whispered so only Chloe could hear. Chloe looked up at her, eyebrows raised. "I don't mean to be like that, it… I get very…"

"It's ok, it shows leadership, Bree," Chloe gave her a reassuring smile, placing her hand on top of Aubrey's on the table. "Really. We're good."

They turned back around each holding half the scarves.

"Line up." Aubrey instructed, Chloe stood beside her, big smile on her face. She loved to see Aubrey in her element. It made Aubrey tense, and worried but she knew Aubrey was good at leading, she had always looked after her. She understood Aubrey, when she had said it was her who'd laid out the schedule, she had. She had put all that work in, Chloe only came in earlier that day to write it all out on the board in a gap she had between classes, but the mental hard work it took was all Aubrey. Chloe was proud to be her co-captain. Proud that a person as driven and focused as Aubrey was her best friend and like her sister.

Stacie lent back in her chair watching the other women receive their scarves, and was the last to stand once almost everyone else had left. Everyone but Chloe, who hung back at the exit giggling with Fat Amy.

"You want your-?"

"-I want to take you out tonight."


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you want your scarf?"

"I want to-"

"Do you want your scarf?" Aubrey spoke slow. With purpose. Ignoring what Stacie had said.

Stacie's eyes bore into her own. Aubrey returned the gaze, unfaultered. Strong.

If she could convince Stacie she didn't care, maybe, just maybe she could convince herself. She had saw Stacie as a random one time hook-up. And somewhere, really quickly, it had turned into more. For her. Clearly not for Stacie. So she wouldn't care. Wouldn't let herself care. Or want more. Nope.

"I-"

"I thought you were gonna ring me, but that didn't happen." Aubrey blinked. Slow. She forced her gaze to stay strong. "Are you still in?" A loaded question. Aubrey swore to herself that she wasn't even going to mention that Stacie hadn't called her. But it just slipped out. She shouted at herself to get it together in her head.

Weakness.

She didn't want to care about that. She didn't want Stacie to know she cared. Because she didn't. She hadn't even noticed that Stacie hadn't called. Like. At. All.

Whatever.

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe it'll become true. Repeat a lie long enough.

Right?

Wrong.

Aubrey clenched her jaw.

Prevent another tirade of words she didn't want to exist. Chin tilted a little high, she stood shorter than Stacie but she wanted to be able to look down at her. Look aloof. Strong. Always strong.

"I want to take you out tonight." Stacie's tone determined. Undeterred. Her eyes softened as she blinked and held the word sorry. A small smile, the muscles in her face were pulling to smile wide at Aubrey. At how cute an unravelling Aubrey was. She held the muscles tight. She didn't want Aubrey thinking she was mocking her.

In any way.

Aubrey saw the small smile pulling at Stacie's lips though. And she did think this was a joke to Stacie. It stabbed a pain in her chest, she needed to be gone. Now.

Aubrey pushed the scarf down into Stacie's hand. She couldn't help her hand resting in Stacies for a beat too long, but the rush she felt made her light headed. Oxygen gone? Too much oxygen flooding the blood pumping through her? Either way she felt wrong. Not wrong. Different.

Stacie caught, and smirked at the way she saw Aubrey's lip tremble at their brief contact.

"Take it." Aubrey took her hand away and walked past Stacie. Again composed. Head high, shoulders back.

Strong.

"I'll pick you up at 8." Stacie called over at Aubrey who had caught up to Chloe, linked her arm and was leaving the auditorium.

"You got a date tonight, Blondie?" Fat Amy asked. Aubrey didn't respond. Clutched onto Chloe. Chloe could always ground her. Make her feel. Right. 

Chloe felt the way her friends fingers tightened on her forearm. She hadn't seen her friend act like this around anyone since one year at camp and she'd gotten all overly girly and giggly about a camp counsellor called Jayne. But only to her. When Aubrey had been anywhere near Jayne she had been all aloof, like he would even notice. Or care.

Stacie smirked. So Aubrey was pissed because she hadn't rang her, but it had been like a day, and Stacie knew they would see each other at rehearsals, which they had. So why the big deal? It had been awkward enough for Stacie to fit in todays rehearsal around one of her classes. Stacie had to make the time up in the lab tomorrow for skipping out on it today. But it was worth it to see Aubrey. Even if it hadn't gone so well. It had gone fantastic. Yeah Aubrey was pissed at her now, but that was a strong emotional reaction. And a strong reaction, good or bad, was always good. It meant Aubrey cared.

Even if Aubrey hadn't given her the time of day.

And was blowing her off right now.

Stacie wasn't giving in.

Nope.

Chloe looked back over her shoulder at Stacie as the three of them left. She gave her a reassuring small smile. Stacie nodded lightly at Chloe.

Chloe approved.

* * *

 

Chloe and Aubrey left Fat Amy a short walk later, and they headed to grab coffee's on their way home.

"Still nothing to deny?"

"Yes."

"Bree, she clearly-"

"I don't care. I don't…" Aubrey stopped in her tracks, Chloe backtracked a step, turning to face her friend. "I was stupid. I thought... I-I don't even know her, Chloe, I don't. I'm just being stupid."

"Bree..."

"No Chloe, it's just..." Aubrey shook her head, rolling her eyes a little.

"What is it?"

"I…" Aubrey's mind raced, wanting to spill how hurt she'd been by Stacie. But that was weakness. She'd already said enough. "It doesn't matter. Nothing's even gonna happen. I won't let it. Can't be focused on anything other than the Bellas, right?" Chloe nodded at her. "Can we just go get coffee and head home?"

"Sure," Chloe re-linked her arm with Aubrey's, snuggled into her as they walked. "anything you want Bree."

* * *

 

"I'm not coming down!"

Chloe shrugged at Stacie, but stepped out of the way and motioned for her to come inside the house.

"Good luck." Chloe went and sat back on the couch. She looked up at Stacie. A smile between them.

Stacie nodded and ascended the stairs, she took her time, one last glance at Chloe. She looked skeptically up at her, but gave her a thumbs up and winked.

Stacie knew Aubrey wanted her.

She wanted Aubrey.

What more was there?

Her fist hovered over the closed door.

Stacie took a breath. Held it.

"Aub?" No reply. "Open the door?"

"I'm not going out. With you. Tonight."

"We can stay in…" Stacie lowered her arm, let out the breath she'd holding, and brought her arm across her middle, hugging herself. "Whatever you want."

"Sure. Of course." Stacie smiled. "You just wanna stay in and fuck. Right?" then more to herself, mumbled so Stacie barely heard, but she did. "Should've known."

"Aub that's not…" Stacies eyes searched the door. She sighed. Hating how she couldn't see Aubrey's eyes when she was talking to her. "...please please just open the door…"

A minute past. It doesn't sound long but Stacie would disagree. A minute could feel like an eternity.

The door opened. A smidge. Slow.

"What do you want?" The door opened further, revealing Aubrey. Stacie's throat felt strangled. Aubrey was so fucking beautiful. Her hair was twisted up into a messy bun, and she had yoga pants and a little half vest top on, revealing her taught stomach muscles. Muscled Stacie remembered ghosting over with her hands, felt twitch below her fingers.

"You."

* * *

 

"Awwww thanks ginge!" Fat Amy left her bags at the door with Chloe. "The rest are in the car."

Fat Amy bowled right past her.

"Wha-Wher-Amy?!" Chloe called up in confusion but Fat Amy was already out of sight and up the stairs.

"Picking my room before Jessica and Ashley get here!"

Fat Amy stormed into the first room she came across. Bull in a china shop.

"Aca-accuse me!"

"Aca-awkward!"

Stacie smiled up at Fat Amy. A small wave past between them. Stacie wasn't ashamed.

"Get out!" Aubrey shouted as she tried to cover up her naked breasts with her hands.

Chloe appeared behind Fat Amy.

"This ones moved in fast." Fat Amy motioned to Stacie. Stacie stretched out, comfortable. Shrugged. Beneath Aubreys thighs. She laced her hands behind her head. Amused at the proceedings.

"Sorry Bree, she just-"

"I can see," Aubrey's eyes wide. Staring at Chloe. Her anchor. If she looked anywhere else she may have crumble. "can everyone..."

"Oh yeah. Leaving." Chloe smirked and herded Fat Amy out, who was taking in the room, the décor, more than she was taking notice of the nakedness she'd barged in on. "Let's go find you a room. And tell you about Bree's door rule. Yeah?"

"I'm easy, Red, down with the lady loving, not on my list of to do activities but yay gay!"

"Sorry." Chloe mostly mouthed at Aubrey and Stacie. Giving Stacie a wink and an appreciative smile. Aubrey had good taste. Stacie was looking all kinds of hot laying out on the bed like the cat that got the cream.

"Indeed." Aubrey sighed as she pulled on a light grey sweater that matched what was left of the rest of her yoga outfit. She laid down beside Stacie as Chloe closed the door behind her. "Sorry..."

"Take me to your favourite place on campus."

"What? Now?"

"Yeah. Now."

"Well... Why?"

"You wanted to go out, and its getting a little full in the house... and I'm not quiet."

"It's going to be like this from now on, Chloe's been asking everyone to move in."

"She hasn't asked me..." Aubrey didn't reply. She got up off the bed, shrugged off her sweater to put something fresh on and went to her closet. "Because... she knows that's for you to do." Aubrey put a bra on, and pulled a shirt over her shoulders, buttoning them with trembling fingers. "But you don't want to? Or do? But think I'll be scared off? Like... its too much too soon?"

"I love the library." Aubrey took a satisfying breath. Avoiding Stacie's eyes. "The roof. We... Can I take you up there? It's... that's my favourite place on campus."

"Sure." Stacie stretched and sat up. "Anything you want Aub."

* * *

 

"And look down on people."

The look Aubrey gave her should have been offended. But Stacie's tone was playful. And it was sort of. A bit. If Aubrey was to be honest. True. So she smiles. Stacie got her. She nods. Stacie linked their fingers together as the sat with their legs dangling over the edge of the building.

"Yes."

"Do you ever go into the library? Or just sit up here and read?"

"The latter."

Stacie leant her head down, awkward. The height difference making it so. But once she felt Aubrey relax, it was perfect. Aubrey hummed. Happily. She shrugged, nudged Stacie's head off of her, and Stacie turned. Eyes met. Stacies confused. Aubrey's reassuring. Aubrey's hand came up to cup Stacie's cheek. She brushed her lips over Stacies. Awkward. Aubrey's own trembled. She turned her body. Stacie moved too. Until her hands pull at Aubrey's neck, closer. Closer. Not close enough. Fingers massaging the base of Aubrey's neck. Feeling the goosebumps. Chests rose and fell rapidly, as their breathing became difficult. Their kiss fierce and breathy. Somehow gentle. Their lips brushing over and over, sloppily. Each holding back a little, trying to keep themselves calm whilst feeling so out of control.

It wasn't until their foreheads were pushed against one another, their eyes downcast, barely open, that their tongues lazily lick their own lips. Tasting each other.

Their hands travelled down one another, grasping at each others clothing, at anything to tether them down. They felt like they could float off into the night. Together.

Their hands find each other, linked. Fingers entwined. In each others laps.

Their heads move apart slowly. Dark eyes fixed on dark eyes.

"Stacie?" Aubrey's voice came out lower than she was expecting. Breathy. Stacie loves how her name sounded in the crisp night air. Just between the two of them.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna move in?"

* * *

 

Beca got out of work early, Jesse saying he would stay later so she could go. Go be with Chloe, the Bellas, she meant. Yeah so she could attend a rehearsal. Because music, not Chloe. Yeah music or some shit. Honour commitments. Not be a total flake.

"What a bro." Beca called up to Jesse, who she'd left on the second floor, as she grabbed her bag. Then took two steps back to grab her jacket, slinging it through the loop of her bag.

"You owe me one, BECAW!." She winced at his apparent nickname for her as she left Jesse behind and high tailed it to the auditorium.

Arriving late. But at least arriving this time. Thanks to Fat Amy, who she'd seen in philosophy class earlier that day. Yeah she'd actually decided to go to that too. For a change. She didn't see herself leaving Barden any time soon. Yeah she'd be leaving sooner rather than later but not soon enough it seemed. She blamed her father. It had nothing to do with sticking around because Chloe was a person that existed somehow rather miraculously at the same time and same place she happened to.

It was fate.

It was a joke.

When Beca arrived, slipping through the door as quietly as she could, everyone was standing in a group, Aubrey in front of them as they were singing scales. She winced. How did they sound that bad? She had heard them at auditions and well yeah she hadn't really been listening because she had been focused on Chloe but they couldn't have sounded like this.

Right?

Right.

Wrong.

She strained to try and hear the individual voices but couldn't pick them apart. It was all noise.

Beca shied away from the group, hanging back at the door. Hoping to slip in unnoticed.

"You're late!" Aubrey called out over the singing without even looking round.

She walked into the room cautiously as Aubrey whipped her head around, narrowing her eyes.

"Umm..." Beca started but didn't know where she was going to go. Didn't have a chance.

"You're late." Aubrey repeated, quieter since the women had stopped singing. Aubrey thought she'd been rid of the midget yesterday when she hadn't turned up to the first rehearsal. Well Aubrey could still get rid of her out the group. Out of Chloe's life.

"Um… yeah. Sorry." Beca continued to slowly make her way towards the group. Towards Chloe. The group, just the group, she hadn't even noticed Chloe's bright beautiful eyes, that she wanted to dive into and stare at for like a really long time. Hadn't noticed that at all. She placed her bag on an empty seat.

"That's unacceptable."

"Yeah," A small smile pulled at the side of Chloe's lips. "You can't arrive late."

"But I did…" Chloe's brows raised a little at her. Beca couldn't read the look she was giving her. "Accidentally I mean-" Fat Amy waved at her, with a big smile on her face. Beca gave a little wave back. "-Sorry?" She tried to back track, confused why she was getting some third degree for being all of ten minutes late. "Won't happen again."

Chloe had felt air blast into the room when Beca had walked through the door. She felt light headed like she'd been huffing pure oxygen, the room buzzing around her. She had been totally bummed out the day previous when Beca hadn't made rehearsal, and figured Beca had bailed on the Bellas. On her. But here she was. In the flesh.

"No it won't." Aubrey said as Beca made another step forward. "You should go." Aubrey said it like she meant 'You will go.' There was no room for argument, she had been so relieved yesterday when there had been no sign of the midget. Beca gave a nervous laugh, her eyes searched Aubrey's, flicked over briefly to Chloe's. She caught Chloe looking at her, so she quickly looked away and back at Aubrey. Where she focused her gaze. Hard.

"Dude, are you serious?"

"Dixie Chicks serious."

"Bree-"

"No Chloe," Aubrey looked straight ahead at Beca, raising her palm up flat in response to Chloe. "She has," Aubrey narrowed her eyes at Beca. Unblinking. "You have to leave. I won't tolerate lateness. I won't tolerate your attitude, and I won't tolerate you working with that treble."

"What?" Beca over enunciated. How did Aubrey even know? She looked at the group in shock as most of them had their eyes downcast, wanting nothing to do with this utter bullshit. "Fine. Be a dick, I'm out." She picked her bag back up and trudged out. Aubrey could suck it. They could all suck it. She didn't need them. She didn't need Chloe, especially since she hadn't done a damn thing to pull for her.

Fuck them.

Fuck Chloe.


	6. Chapter 6

Beca hadn't given a thought to the Bellas. Nor Chloe. Beca was coping fine. Not even coping because there wasn't a big loss to cope with. Cause she didn't care. Hadn't cared to begin with. A cappella sucked.

They all sucked.

Chloe sucked.

Most. Of. All.

Whatever.

Beca had been kicked out. Right? By that utter dick Aubrey. Or threatened with it. Threatened with a threat of a threat? Either way Aubrey was a dick. And ok she wasn't clear because she hadn't stayed around long enough to argue. Because she didn't care. Like at all. She was so over trying... trying what? Dude what was she even thinking trying out for the Bella's in the first place?

She wasn't.

Her mind clouded with any way to see Chloe.

Maybe. No this was a terrible thing because the pangs in her chest were of longing. Longing to even have a chance to gaze at the glowing ethereal being that was Chloe. Those eyes that pulled Beca in, but the rest of her didn't pull for her when it counted. When Aubrey was shouting at her, nobody stepped up, Chloe didn't step in and pull for her. Didn't tell Aubrey how out of line she was or tell Aubrey that she had wanted Beca there.

Nothing.

Yes this was a good thing because of those pangs for Chloe she was still feeling after all that. Beca knew she had to be forced away from seeing her. This getting kicked out, sure it wasn't up to her, but what in her life right now was her decision anyways? Another choice taken away. Chloe taken away. Good. If it had been up to her maybe, just maybe she would've betrayed the bad ass in her and became some puppy dog, she could feel it creeping into her entire being when Chloe was around. So yes. Yes it fucking was a good thing Chloe wouldn't be a part of her life, change who she is at her core, or like make her the happiest and giddiest she can remember ever being. Cause that would like totally suck. Ha! Being happy.

She could focus on her college work. Get out of Barden quicker. Focus on making some money at the station. Still hoping to get on the air and make some steps forward that would help her when she moved to LA. Cause she would move to LA. If she could only focus.

She didn't care about the Bellas.

Nope.

Didn't care about Chloe.

Nope.

Chloe could suck it. So why couldn't she stop thinking about Chloe?

Fuck her.

Fuck don't think about that. That's a slippery slope once you go down that route. Don't let your mind even wander, nope nopeity nope. Why? Because fuck her that's why.

Chloe may as well have kicked her out, the entire group really. Another place she didn't belong.

So yes apart from all that college was going fine. Totally. Fine. It's fine. It's fine. She's happy. Everything is fine.

She hates that she still wants to spend time with Chloe. Even after she knows its wrong. Fucking Chloe. Course of action? Inaction. Beca avoids her and instead she spends most of her free time at the station with Jesse, with the enemy as Aubrey had pointed out. How even though? How had Aubrey found out she worked with Jesse? Beca, well she just found it laughable. Just because she's female and he's male and they inhabit the same space they automatically have to be screwing?

Screw her.

As if Jesse was going to be some big distraction. Beca's pretty sure thats why Aubrey doesn't want the a cappella groups fraternising. If Aubrey didn't want Beca to be distracted then yeah she should just kick her out, because Chloe, Aubrey's very own little yes woman, was the biggest distraction of all.

Chloe was the only reason she'd went to audition.

Despite in the back of her mind knowing if her father found out she was wasting her time at Barden with a group of women. Singing. Well alarm bells would go off and she just knew. Knew he'd know. He'd cast her aside like he had her brother, William.

Chloe was the only reason she was happy when she'd gotten in.

Not that Beca would admit that.

Even a little to herself.

Telling herself over and over that she didn't like Chloe, in any way, even as a potential friend, she didn't like Chloe. One. Bit.

Repeat a lie long enough?

She needed distraction. From the moment she'd met Chloe she needed a distraction from her.

Something to take her mind off. Someone.

Beca was into self punishment. She had to be. No other explanation because she had started hanging out with Jesse outside of work, he'd convinced her to go to the movies, they'd grabbed a few drinks. Hung out. Distraction.

She did it all to feel what she thought was meant to be normal. She did it all to stop thinking about that damn red head. She had taken to referring to Chloe as such because she was trying to forget about her attraction. Even just thinking of the name Chloe sent a hot wave of uncertainty through her.

Beca was as close to friends with Jesse as she was with anyone at college, but she's pretty sure he wanted more. Pretty sure that he took their banter as flirting. And no matter how much he joked on with Beca, she would always head back into her dorm at night.

Alone.

* * *

 

Beca arrived at her dorm to find her room empty, glad that Kimmy Jin was out. Beca didn't have a problem with Kimmy Jin but she could tell she was some sort of problem to Kimmy. Whatever. Beca had left the bar earlier than usual just wanting to have a quiet night in. Work on a mix, she wouldn't let being here stifle her true passion. She wouldn't let Barden be a distraction to her goal of getting to LA.

She flopped on her bed, pulling out her phone to check twitter and instagram for five minutes as she relaxed into the silence of the room. She lent up and switched her equipment on to start to work on her most recent mix as-

DING! A message appeared on her screen, she could see the start of it, it had Chloe's name in it. It was off Chloe. Beca's heart sped up in excitement. She totally didn't just have that reaction, did she? When had, how had Chloe got her number? Fat Amy maybe, they'd exchanged numbers already and had a class together. Could be? Possibly. It didn't matter. It did. Chloe had gone to the trouble of getting her number. Aww the cuteness. No. Beca. No. Don't even open it. But you have to. Beca stared at the screen and the start of the message for what felt like ever. She opened it, after staring at it pretending she was ignoring it for another minute which was more likely ten long seconds of ignoring it, but it felt longer. Pretending like she didn't care what it said. She totally did. Damn.

Chloe - Hey it's Chlo, I'll be there in 10.

Shit. Beca stared at the screen. She was coming here? Like here? Like Now? Right now? Why was Chloe... just text her back and find out dummy, no cause then you're gonna have to make up a lame excuse to not spend time with her. And it'll be totally lame because you know you do want to spend time with her. Fuck.

Beca - Where in what?

No really, Chloe cannot come here. Now. No. It had been difficult enough for Beca to agree to room with another person on campus. She needed her own space. Loved her own company. The quiet. Her father promised to get her an apartment off campus if she could show she could stick in and stay around long enough for him to warrant the effort and money to do that.

Chloe - Yours in 10, be ready to go

Beca - Huh what now?

Chloe - Hanging with the Bellas tonight, thought I'd pick you up because I'm awes like that

Beca - First I'm hearing of this

Chloe - My awesomness is apparent, you're just blind to what's in front of you

Beca - So modest, first I'm hearing of this get together tonight

Chloe - It's on the facebook group Bec

Beca - I don't have facebook

Chloe rolled her eyes. Amused. As she placed her phone in her car and scrolled to her summerjam playlist, No Doubt came on and she started bopping to the bass before checking her reflection in the mirror and leaving a quick reply.

Chloe - I'll have to change that. You need facebook for Bella related shiz at least, I mean you already missed the first rehearsal because you don't have facebook. Come on tonight will be fun

Beca - If Aubrey's there I doubt that

Chloe - Meanie

Stopping at a traffic light, she typed a quick short reply. Nobody knew Bree the way she did. She could see how Bree rubbed most everyone the wrong way, but her harshness others saw, Chloe saw as strength. Bree did everything the right way. Everyone else just couldn't see that Bree really had everyone's best interests at heart. She was the ultimate team player. So she held everyone to a high standard. What was wrong in that?

Beca - Just an observation not a judgement... anyways I'm super busy

Chloe - Please... for me.

Beca - Busy.

Chloe - You're not staying in alone on hump day night

Beca - What?!

Chloe - Its Wednesday.

Beca - Oh riiight now it makes total sense in a way it really doesn't... Who said I was alone?

Chloe - That dork from the station?

Chloe had heard random stories, had to prod, had to know from Bec herself whether any of it was true. Had to.

Beca - Ok I am alone. I happen to like alone time. With myself.

Chloe - Ohhhh "alone time" I could lend a hand lol

Chloe smiled. Wide. Beca couldn't even play up any rumours about her and Jesse. Or was unaware. Which like all the better, then they totally was no truth to any of it. Good. Chloe totally knew everyone knew nothing. Her heart pounded as she had typed her reply. She bit her lip. Just harmless flirting. Nothing had to come of it. All banter.

Beca - Chlo no! God. Not that! Ok I'm about to watch The Breakfast Club, happy?

And here was the lame excuse. She couldn't. She wouldn't tell Chloe about what she actually wanted to do that night. Her mixing. Too personal. She couldn't reveal that side of herself to Chloe. Not yet. Not yet? What? Beca there is never going to be anything more to you and Chloe. There is no you and Chloe. You don't even know this woman, and you're not going to let yourself either. You're going to stop wanting to. Stop. Stop. Just fucking stop wanting. Her.

Chloe - Is that all? You must've seen it a million times, watch it later

Beca - Nope, never seen it. Comes highly recommended from "that dork"

Chloe - I take back "that dork" comment, he's on point, that movie rules, you need to see it

Beca - See you agree, I need to stay in and watch that instead. Thank you for understanding

Chloe took a breath. Held her hand to the door she pretty much is sure is Becas. There's light coming from under the door, no noise though. She double checks the message of Fat Amy, yep got to be the right building. At least. Right floor. Probably. Right room. Hopefully. She text instead of knocking. Just in case. At least with a text, Bec had to come and open the door and she'd know.

Chloe - Knock knock

Beca looked over to her dorm door expecting an actual knock. Shit. Shit? Is she? Did she? Did Chloe actually turn up without an invitation? Beca found that rude. Beca let it slide. Was Chloe actually out there in the hall? Was Chloe on the other side of the door? She can't pretend to not be in, there's just no way out of letting Chloe in. This was so rude but it was Chloe so yeah she let it slide. She hoped this wasn't going to be a habit. Letting Chloe be an exception to her rules.

Chloe was getting very worried. She'd made a wrong turn somewhere. Still no noise from inside, no Beca. She typed another message.

Chloe - You gonna let me in?

Beca sighed, ignoring the beating in her chest, and that it had grown rapid as she rose slowly to her feet, feeling them start to tingle, maybe she'd been lying face down texting Chloe for longer than she thought.

Beca opened the door, leant her weight into it as it helped her stand, the pins and needles were in full force now but she tried to hide it. She rolled her shoulders, blinking rather blankly at Chloe standing in the now open doorway.

Chloe beamed at her, bright eyes locked with her own and time just froze. She thinks "just" because it wasn't in any way feeling awkward or weird, Chloe staring at her, into her but not through her. Chloe brushed past her and when she turned around Chloe was curled up on her bed like a playful little kitten.

She closed the door slowly.

"If it's not clear, I'm staying here and watching the movie with you."

"You don't have to do..." Beca trailed off because her mouth caught up to what her mind was trying to remind her, you want to spend time with her just don't be a dick about it. Just not alone time. Shit. She wanted this. Wanted to be alone with Chloe. She didn't want to want this. Shit. She. Really. Fucking. Did. Fuck. Her.

"I want to. I can see them anytime."

"You can see me anytime." She cringed immediately at her own words. At herself but felt more at ease when Chloe's eyes sparked with her own. She couldn't take the way Chloe's eyes meeting with her own made the air dissipate from the room. From her lungs. Beca looked away for a second, when she looked back Chloe was looking down into her own lap with a small smile on her face.

"Is that an open invitation?" Chloe looked up slowly. Purposively so. Her eyes met with Becas through her eyelashes. Beca's mouth went dry, she tried to swallow and she didn't know how long had passed when Chloe spoke again. "You coming to watch the movie then or...?"

"Huh yeah... no yeah let me grab it and yeah." She plastered a smile on her face as she tried to hide how awkward she felt.

Chloe sat back, moving the laptop onto her knee and patted the bed. Beca moved beside her, handing her the disc. Once the movie was on, Chloe curled her legs up under her again and plopped the laptop onto Beca's outstretched legs before snuggling into her. Beca exhaled slowly as she felt Chloe's head resting down onto her shoulder.

"Ha that is so Aubrey." Beca muttered to herself. She smiled as the teacher was ranting at the teens in the movie. She was enjoying it not that she had many movies to compare it to. Beca loved music. She'd never really been able to concentrate on a movie long enough to enjoy one.

"Hey she's my best friend." Chloe playfully jabbed a finger into Beca's side, a little light laugh that Chloe really wasn't expecting came from Beca. Chloe hadn't wanted to speak through the movie, not with it being Beca's first viewing. That would have been rude. And she knows she has boundary issues when it comes to when she likes someone. She's not completely unaware of herself.

"Observation not a judgement."

"Well then... Jesse is totally Brian."

"Ouch?" Chloe felt Beca shrug and felt her laugh a little by the movement of her shoulders.

"Hmmm that was meant to offend you."

"Why would that offend me? Brian is fantastic."

"Well you and Jesse... You know." Chloe knew Beca had been hanging out with Jesse. The Bellas had been growing close, all apart from Beca anyway and gossip travelled fast. Aubrey was certain that they were a couple and wanted to catch them so she could throw Beca out of the Bellas. Not that Aubrey had actually vocalised any of this, but Chloe knew Aubrey better than anyone. She had fought Aubrey to even get Aubrey to let Beca in. She wasn't about to let Beca slip away.

"No. I really don't."

"Whatever." Chloe rolled her eyes playfully. She was good at masking what was going on inside. Inside she believed Beca right away, she knows, she totally knew Beca didn't have a thing for Jesse, for nobody. But her.

She knew.

Inside Chloe was doing a little booty shake and like high fiving herself. She's that cool. In her mind.

Outside Chloe was actually cool. Aloof.

"There's nothing..." Beca thinks about backtracking. She's still in the Bellas by the sounds of things but she could truly get kicked out for having anything to do with Jesse. She's not so sure she wants kicked out now after being here. With Chloe.

"Whatever." Chloe repeated. Riling Beca. Beca huffed air out of her nose. Her mouth twisting. Brow furrowed. Beca hated that word. A little word, whatever, but held so much. Held, I don't believe you. Held, I don't care. Held, just shut up. Whatever.

"Really, Chlo, nothing is going on. I'm not into him." Chloe's a heck of a lot more certain that Beca is into her. Why? Because Beca is so insistent. She can see Beca struggling with her words. Beca struggling with wanting. Needing. Chloe to believe her. For Chloe to care. For Chloe to listen.

"Whatever."

"Well you're her." She points at the red head on the screen.

"Claire? Just cause she's ginger? Really Bec?" Chloe thinks it's cute how flustered Beca sounds. She lets out a little sigh to hide her need to squeal at Beca's cuteness.

"Oh yeah... no no I meant because she's the cute popular one..." Beca gulped, it sounded so loud in her ears she thinks Chloe would have heard. Chloe did and smirked, knowing she was making Beca nervous. Nervous Beca was so cute. Beca thinks of saying something else to take back that she just essentially told Chloe she thinks she's cute, but nothing comes out. Chloe smiles knowingly beside her, sneaking a glance up at Beca's wide eyed panicked face.

"Okay... you're her, the basketcase Alison then... cause," As Chloe points to Allison, sitting at the back of the library. "You're both brunettes."

"Lame."

"As lame as your comparison..." Chloe's eyes never left Beca's face. Couldn't. Tracing the way the light from the screen hit her chin, her jaw, her lips. "and you're both total alt girls... that are angry and strange as tits."

"Fuck you." Beca mutters, trying to make her words sound serious. Beca's eyes fixed on the screen, not seeing Chloes own still on her. Chloe's eyes watched Beca's mouth form a slow smile. "I'm totally that dude." Beca pointed a finger lamely at Bender. Chloe's eyes flickered down at the digit, her hands dainty, small like the rest of Beca, and perfectly formed. Then Beca made a small disgruntled noise, and Chloe's eyes move up slowly taking in every single part of Beca, the muscles in her wrists, her arms, tense, the way her flesh seems goose bumped, up her middle and chest, not moving, if so barely, up tense muscles in her neck, and up to a clenched jaw and a very child like pout. A pout Chloe couldn't look away from. A pout Chloe wanted to move her own mouth to and slip her tongue over and in over and over until the movie was long forgotten and Beca was a whimpering mess beneath her.

Time passed slowly. So fucking slowly. Beca phased in and out of the movie. How could she not be distracted by this soft kitten of a human curled into her, now rubbing circles on her crossed forearm.

Chloe felt Beca tense under her touch. She slowed her strokes, wishing Beca would unfold her arms and drape them over her, around her and pull her in close. Chloe really liked this woman. She's not stupid enough to be looking for a relationship or anything really she just wants to see where this could go. She doesn't look ahead and plan out life, life happens. Let it. And this could be something, they could. There was potential. If only Beca would just make a move, if Beca would relax and give her an indication that she was ready for life to happen. Them to happen. She would kiss her. She would. She just really wants, needs Beca to let her know it's what she wants. And she know she does. Chloe knows.

She just knows Beca likes her. She likes how she makes Beca nervous. How she makes Beca tense and flustered. And she can't help but find her so fucking sexy and so fucking cute at the same time.

Chloe had found it so flipping hot the way Beca had told Aubrey she was a dick and stormed out. Seeing someone antagonise her best friend was yes a weird turn on, but Aubrey deserved it. A little. And Chloe, in all fairness was trying to step in and say something. Well she was gearing up for it. She'd thought Aubrey was half joking, just trying to show Beca that she was boss. Aubrey was head bitch. That's all. She'd found it amusing at first, how confused Beca had looked and then it had gone south real quick.

Chloe had chastised Aubrey later in private but was stonewalled. So she took it upon herself to get Beca back into the fold. Which brought her here. Now.

Becas insides were dancing, not that she would let her exterior reveal that. But it did. Chloe noticed. Beca thought Chloe didn't notice. She buzzed from any and all contact from Chloe. Actual or potential. She wanted Chloe to just make a move. She wanted Chloe. To not be in her bed. She did. She didn't. If Chloe made a move then it took away all responsibility from her, she could just say it was all Chloe and things just happened and snowballed and it wasn't her. Nope. Nothing to do with her. All Chloe.

Then the movies over and she knows Chloe's going to go, can feel it in how tense Chloe has gotten or maybe it's her. Beca is so still. If she moves then Chloe will move. And if Chloe moves, then Chloe will go. And she wants that. But she needs her to stay.

"And of course they pair everyone up but little cutie Brian." Chloe moves slowly, cocking her neck, her head and letting out a satisfied sigh. A little yawn. She's up and leaving Beca cold where she once was boiling from Chloe's embrace.

Chloe stretched.

"So umm..." Beca watched Chloe stretch. "Umm like how..." Beca can't form coherent thoughts never mind sentences.

"Yeah?" Chloe closed her eyes as she can feel Beca's eyes on her, and she knowingly stretched a little more, making moaning noises happily in the back of her throat.

"Umm..." Beca swallowed. Beca totally doesn't see and look and linger at where Chloe's top rides up on her midriff as she stretches. Or try to commit the noises of contentment Chloe is making to memory. "How'd you umm?" Chloe's had been watching Beca watch her for a little while, and was waiting with a smirk for Beca to notice Chloe watching Beca watch her. Then their eyes met. Beca's went wide. But didn't look away.

"Yeah?"

"How'd you have the movie end?" Chloe replied with a wink. Their eye contact still hadn't broke. The question still hung between them, as Chloe's smile faded.

"I'd have the basketcase get the princess."


	7. Chapter 7

Aubrey plopped down onto Chloe's bed, melding into it, feeling the room above her, around her, spin a little every time she closed her eyes. They never used to knock but when Chloe had walked in on Aubrey and Unicycle more than once the previous year Aubrey had established the rule that "if it was alright to enter the room, the door was to be left open ajar".

Aubrey liked boundaries. Chloe was a boundary pusher. Mostly unaware they existed. Aubrey helped her with that.

Chloe had left her door open when she returned from Beca's. She always left it open, like her heart, inviting.

Trusting.

Chloe was hoping for Aubrey to turn up so she could share in her happiness. Maybe process a little, talk a little, check in with how her best friends own thing with Stacie was going a little, but she'd spent the last few hours alone as she had drifted off with a smile dancing on her features as instrumental versions of her favourite ska tunes played quietly from her speakers.

Happy.

She would've been happier having seen Aubrey before bed but thoughts of how cute Beca had been, without realising it, which made her all the cuter because clearly Beca thought she was some tough badass, coaxed her into a comfortable slumber.

"You still awake?"

"I am now." Chloe said with actual cheeriness that nobody just having been woken up abruptly should be. "How was the night with the girls?" She sat up stretching her arms high in the air above her head in the process. She let out a light sigh.

"Are we just going to ignore that you were meant to be there?" Aubrey tried to swat at Chloe's leg, but Chloe moved a little to the left and Aubrey missed. "Hey..."

"Apparently not." Chloe smiled. "I spent the night with Beca."

"Oh Chloe... I knew it... Did you...?"

"Oh! Hmmm..." Chloe's eyebrows raised and she bit her lip to suppress a smile. "No not like that Bree." Chloe sighed, a distant look on her face as she pushed herself to sit further up in bed.

"You're into her." Aubrey stated rather than questioned. Her mind told her not to even mention it but her mouth did whatever it wanted when she'd been drinking.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well I am set in super protective," Aubrey motioned with her arms like she was gearing up to turn into a Power Ranger, Chloe chuckled at her awkward movements. "best friend mode..." Aubrey lay back as she curled at the bottom of the bed. She tried propping her head up so she could face and look at Chloe but failed, her head drooping back upon the bed spread. She shook her head trying to even her gaze with Chloe, feeling the alcohol make her head swim, then plopped her head back against Chloe's bed again.

Defeated.

Aubrey stretched and sighed. Feeling heat radiating off her body into the night, hoping some of that heat was alcohol vapours, because otherwise she may hurl.

"Thank you, but you don't need to be Bree, I think she likes-"

"-But Jessica or Ashely said she's with that Treble, Chloe, I'm not going to let you get hurt."

"You can't-" Chloe stopped herself, not wanting to argue. She appreciated protective mode Aubrey. Maybe her heart wouldn't have been broken by Lana, tall blonde beautiful Lana if Aubrey had stepped in. Chloe shook her head to get the thoughts of her out her mind, she'd done good, not even really thought about her much since returning to Barden and meeting Beca. "...There's nothing going on there Bree."

"It doesn't mean she's into you, she'd be stupid not to be but still... and we can't have any distractions from winning."

"Distractions like Stacie?" Chloe watched as a smile spread over Aubrey's face, small. Vulnerable. "Bree, I'm your best friend... I've never seen you undone the way you are around her."

"Yeah..." Aubrey covered her face with her hands.

"She's gorgeous."

"Yeah." Aubrey's response was muffled from behind her palms.

"This doesn't make you gay... like if that's a worry... or anything?"

"Why would that even be..." Aubrey rolled over onto her front.

"Having her move in that quick maybe though." Chloe playfully pushed at Aubrey's ribs with her foot.

"Ha Ha." A sarcastic tone, but still holding an amused tone. "I'm not... anything... She's so fucking hot Chloe... that's what I am," Aubrey awkwardly pointed up at Chloe. "I like hotness."

"Yeah she is." Chloe laughed, God Aubrey loved when she made Chloe laugh like she was now, how could a laugh sound like an actual melody? But Chloe's did.

"Always thought you were."

"Were?" Chloe prodded Aubrey with her blanket covered foot again. A small jab to match her fake angry look.

"Are. Are super hot, and that's never made me gay before so..."

"So back to Stacie..."

"What?" She rolled her eyes at Chloe, but playfully. Dramatically. Overtly so. "Nope."

"Bree, I saw plenty of the two of you already... I just want some juicy details..."

"Nope."

"Nope like you're not telling or nope nothing that interesting has happened?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Hence I'm asking... Come on Bree tell a bitch." It was Aubrey's turn to let go of a big laugh.

"Nothing earth shattering... yet."

"Oh you've got it bad."

"Yup."

"And where is Stacie now?" Chloe smirked knowingly.

"Bed." Aubrey covered her face again. "She's in my bed... our bed? She's waiting in my... our room but I just..." Aubrey peaked out from behind her hands. "I just had to see if you were ok with you not answering my calls." Aubrey tried to playfully swat Chloe's leg again but Chloe dodged it once more. They giggled together.

"Go on..." Chloe nudged Aubrey with her foot. "Don't keep your gal waiting." Aubrey rolled herself up and off the bed. Swaying as she stood.

"Love you Chloe."

"Love you too."

* * *

 

"Hey you." Aubrey staggered into her room, almost hugging the wall on her way there to keep upright. Stacie stood up from where she's laid down on the bed.

Waiting.

Aubrey swayed a little on the spot. Stacie went to her.

"Come 'ere." Stacie entwined her fingers with Aubrey and pulled her into the room and back down with her onto the bed. "Damn how much did you drink tonight?"

"Yeah..." Aubrey leant in slowly to kiss Stacie but missed and her lips landed on the corner of Stacie's mouth.

"Yeah? That's hardly a quantitative amount Aub." Stacie moved Aubrey's fallen hair from her face, and looked, really looked into Aubrey's eyes, trying to gauge how drunk Aubrey was. They'd been together all night at the bar, but Stacie wasn't about to start baby sitting Aubrey. Aubrey could and would do what she wanted. And had threw back way more drinks that the two that Stacie had drank. Aubrey's eyes weren't focusing on her. Stacie sighed, sat down on the bed, dejected. "You're so wasted."

"I am that." Aubrey flopped down beside Stacie. Stacie moved to sit up against the headboard. Aubrey followed, as she crawled over Stacie. Aubrey started to nibble and kiss her way sloppily across Stacie's jaw. Aubrey giggled as she reached Stacie's ear. "You're so..." Aubrey licked and sucked on Stacies ear as Stacie tried not to react. "Fucking hot." Stacie shuddered at the low timbre of Aubrey's voice. Stacie shouted at herself in her head that Aubrey was too inebriated for this to be happening. "...fuck..." Is all Stacie heard as Aubrey sucked at the skin under her ear.

Stacie gripped Aubrey's head and brought her lips to her own, not being able to stand Aubrey's lips anywhere else but on her mouth for any longer. Their tongues melded over one another's slow and lazy. Stacie kissed Aubrey for a little longer than she knew she should allow herself. Tasting the fruity drinks Aubrey had been throwing back all night on her lips. Her tongue.

"Damn woman." Stacie moaned, pushing Aubrey away. Aubrey fell back onto her, kissing while she smiled. Wide. Aubrey kept giggling which helped to break their kiss. "Damn." Stacie said mostly to herself a second time. Stacie struggled a little as she moved from under Aubrey, Aubrey falling onto her side. Aubrey's hands wandered over Stacie ribs through her top, grasping as Stacie rolled off the bed. Aubrey whined and turned onto her front.

"Ugh the room's starting to whirl again." She looked up with big eyes at Stacie, saw two of her. "But there's two of you," She chuckled deep in her throat. "What I could do with two of you."

"Come on..." Stacie returned with a blanket. "lemme tuck you in."

Aubrey fought it, playfully, dragging Stacie down onto the bed with her, wrestling, their giggling filling the room, as Aubrey pinned Stacie underneath her. Aubreys mouth going to Stacies neck. She left sloppy kisses.

Stacie let her.

She would stop her in a second.

A minute.

Teeth grazing. Tongue trailing. Stacies eyes rolled back in her head. Just one more second. One more minute.

"What shower gel do you use?" Aubrey murmured into Stacies neck, as she inhaled Stacies scent. Stacie's eyes flew open. Wide. A suppressed smile as she shook her head. Keeping in a giggle.

"Aub, please just let me tuck you in. This," She removed Aubrey's hands from her where they'd wandered to her breasts. "Isn't happening. Ok?"

"Ok ok you win..." Stacie blinked slowly, memorising those words coming out of Aubrey's mouth. Aubrey admitting defeat. Wow. Stacie didn't think Aubrey would believe those words just came out of her own mouth. "You can tuck me in." Aubrey flashed Stacie a coy smile. Stacie had Aubrey pinned beneath her, her own breathing heavy. "Or..." Aubrey slowly moved her head up and almost met Stacies lips but Stacie moved an inch out of her way.

"Or nothing. You're wasted and should go to sleep." Aubrey pouted, and then kissed the tip of Stacies nose, before she settled down onto the bed, turned and pulled the blanket over herself. "Get some sleep," Stacie joined her, as she curled in behind Aubrey, wrapping an arm over Aubreys. Aubrey entwined their fingers and pulled both their arms up to her chest, her breathing slowing, relaxing into Stacies embrace. "You're gonna kill me Aub." Stacie whispered into the darkness.

"I think I could fall in love with you."

* * *

 

Aubrey woke, sun shining brightly in through her window as she felt the warmth from it and Stacie. She turned over to face Stacie. She squinted as the sun now was directly in her eyes. She shielded them with her hand, her movement waking Stacie.

She moved to kiss Stacie, starting on her cheek. A smile spread over Stacies face. Aubrey kissed her cheek again. Then up to the corner of where her eye crinkled with the smile she had caused. Then she took the bottom of her ear in between her teeth and tugged, as Stacie let out a little chuckle. Aubrey licked up the shell of Stacies ear.

"Do you have a class this morning Aub?" Aubrey answered with another small tug of her teeth on Stacie's ear. "That's not an answer, I don't want you missing any more because of me."

"Do you have a morning class?" Stacie shook her head in answer. Stacie turned her head to capture Aubreys lips but Aubrey moved an inch too far away and giggled. Stacie's smile in response was wide, so wide it hurt Aubrey's chest.

"Can I kiss you?" Stacie's tone serious despite her smile.

"You're so..." Aubrey swallowed, mouth dry.

"Yeah?" Stacies smile never faltered, her eyes lighting up as she grew more awake.

"Yes."

"Yeah?" Stacie nodded, her bottom lip trapped now between her teeth.

"Yeah dummy, kiss me."

* * *

 

Beca – I'm running late at the station but I will be there. Tell Aubrey to suck it.

Chloe – And here was me just thinking that you'd just skip another rehearsal. ;) What made you change your mind?

Beca – I'm a glutton for punishment and how better to feed that than need than spend some time with your bestie

Beca arrived late but Aubrey just gives her the glare of death. Looks like she's going to say something but Beca catches the warning look Chloe gives her friend. And all is mostly calm. For a while. Beca is soon back to almost wanting to kill herself or Aubrey during the rehearsal. The music is old. Which isn't in itself bad. But its bad old music. And not in a so shitty its fun, just bad old middle aged women sipping wine whilst making dinner for the family bad. Bad.

She's starting to think about walking out and forgetting the Bellas's completely but then Chloe smiles at her, and it tethers her to the spot.

And the rest of the time flys by until everyone's leaving. Its too fast. She needs more time with Chloe. It's now or never. Beca looks up from where she's still seated, there's Chloe clearing up papers. To her right Stacie and Aubrey talk, hands together, she notes. And wishes that could be her. Her and Chloe. They make it look so easy. Happiness.

"You guys go, I'll clear up Bree."

"Really?" A smile passes between Aubrey and Chloe. Chloe nods, her smile passing over to Stacie who stands behind Aubrey, her hand now on Aubrey's hip. "Go have a good night."

"Thank you." Aubrey mouthed at Chloe. Chloe smiled in response.

"See you's back at the house later."

Aubrey and Stacie left, hands around each other's hips, stroking, whispering, giggling. Cute as tits, Chloe thinks. Aubrey gives Chloe one last smile over her shoulder, that falters when she sees that Beca is taking her time, hanging back but Stacie's leading them out, and she just has to let it go. For now.

Beca watches them go. Feeling the jealousy rise. She wants that. The ease at which Aubrey and Stacie are with one another. And it spurs her on. Up out her seat. She wants that so bad. Hates that she wants that. Beca couldn't help herself. All the muscles in her body were tight, ready to run from what she wants.

Chloe.

Chloe existed. Chloe existed and that's all she needed. She needed to not need her. But she did and words start coming out her mouth before she could even think about them. She had thought about them. Between and during the lame songs they'd been singing she'd gone over and over the words. What she'd say to Chloe at the end. At this very moment. Telling herself to leave once the rehearsal was over to avoid this very situation. But she didn't. She had stayed.

"Hey Chlo... um... you... umm..."

"You need anything Beca?"

"You busy?" Beca held her hands in front of her. Wringing them. Feeling how clammy they were.

"Just clearing up, no I guess not. Should be heading home to do some actual college work but with that Frat mixer Aubrey has us booked on tomorrow night, I'm probably gonna just practice the vocals some more. You?"

"I-um, meant to be going for a drink... but I umm... you wanna go, come along or we could just... you know... I dunno." Beca rubbed the back of her neck. Come on get it the shit together.

"If I knew what you were asking I may say yes." Chloe bent to gather her bags. Slow. She gave Beca a small wink over her shoulder as she did so. Beca totally didn't look at Chloe's ass. Or inadvertently lick her lips. She diverted her eyes, she thinks in time, but Chloe totally saw. She always sees. She straightened back up, slowly turning round, waiting for sassy Beca to appear and just ask her out, but apparently that Beca was nowhere to be found right now. The Beca she first met. "Guess I'll see you later then?"

"Want to go for a drink?" The words tumbled out in a panic. Panic that Chloe was going to leave. Without her. "Umm..." Becas hand moved up through her hair, Chloe finds this nervous tick adorable. "or a coffee or umm..." Beca stopped when she realised Chloe was giggling at her. "Shut up." Chloe headed for the exit. Beca stood frozen on the spot.

"You coming then?" Chloe called back without even looking back.

"I guess," Beca caught up. Chloe nudged Beca's side playfully, garnering that same cute un-Beca that was becoming very Beca like giggle. "I mean if you insist."

"I do."


	8. Chapter 8

Beca and Chloe walked side by side.

A distance between them.

Intentional.

"Just lemme drop these off in her car." Chloe placed all the Bella stuff in Aubrey's car boot. Pulled it shut and re-locked the car with a press of a button.

"Of course you have a spare key." Beca muttered.

"Wanna take a walk? Being nice an all." Beca nodded. Chloe beamed. Beca beamed inside. Outside a small smile pulled at the corners of her lips. Chloe jostled into her, linked her arm. Pulled her along the side walk. Beca let her. A little. But then the insecurities set back in. Wormed their way back up into her brain.

Beca didn't want the distance but she needed it.

Chloe felt her move away. Shrugged it off. She was always overstepping boundaries, the way Beca was reacting was nothing new.

Beca saw people her father knew everywhere. She was attending, free of charge, the college he worked at. She had no right to complain. A free ride for her freedom. She hated feeling this way.

Paranoid.

But the feeling was there. A niggling in her gut. A panic in the corner of her eye. Always. Someone waiting. Watching. Will someone see her with Chloe and jump to a conclusion, that she wants but that isn't there. She knows it isn't there. She was stupid to even ask Chloe to hang out. Can't back out now. She rubbed the back of her neck. Nervous. But a move that moved her away from where she had been linked with Chloe. Again.

"Where do you play? Little hipster cafes on open mic night?" Chloe nudged into her playfully. She felt Beca tense up before she replied.

"I don't really... anymore... anyways" Beca rubbed from the back of her neck again, her hand snaked around and over her collar bone and squeezed the opposite shoulder, she looked around nervous. "sort of all went to the way side, that was twelve year old me. Stupid head full of dreams."

"Well I'd say never rule it out," Chloe was by her side again. Close. "I was amazed," Chloe's voice low as she leaned closer still "at your voice."

"Ugh, um..." Beca had never been turned on by someone's voice, but Chloes just happened to vibrate in her ear in just the right way that made Beca forget that she was meant to reply. That replying, having a back and forth was how a conversation worked.

Chloe linked her arm again, pulled her close, squeezed. A little. Chloe enjoyed making Beca speechless. But she still wanted to know more. So as much of a turn on making Beca speechless was she did still want to hear what she had to say. She probed.

"What are your plans after college?"

"I umm... I want to move away." Beca tensed again, finding it hard to talk about herself. But Chloe had asked so she had to answer. With the smallest amount of information she could, she didn't like attention directed at her. "You?"

"Dunno, travel a bit, think of teaching English over seas for a while, who knows, life will just happen."

"That's... that's really sweet Chlo."

Chloe waited as they walked for Beca to elaborate on her own plans post Barden, but Beca gave nothing up. Silence stretched between them. Beca thought it felt awkward, but Chloe was enjoying the night breeze and the feeling of Beca at her side.

"Where we headed then?"

"Um... We could go somewhere loud, or quiet like for coffee or-"

"You hadn't put much thought into this had you?"

"Just wanted to spend some time with you," A long silence spreads as Beca weighs the words she just said and Chloe lets them hang there. A smirk as she watches Beca from the corner of her eyes. "No. I guess not, we could go meet Jesse, he's gonna be with the rest of the trebles at the bar," Chloe's lip cocked down to the side as did the motion of her head. "It's Karaoke night if that helps or would your dictator find out and try to kick you out the Bellas too?"

"Ok you've got me at karaoke." Chloe smiled, mind already racing with the thought of hearing Beca sing or being able to pick a perfect song to sing not so subtly to Beca. "But less of the dictator stuff, thank you very much. She's not that bad." Chloe nudged her elbow into Beca, concerned when there came no cute little giggle, just nothing. She felt stiffness returning. Beca's eyes downcast, She awkwardly unlinked her arm from Chloe's as she pulled back her hair behind her ear, tucking it, nervous. Eyes darting. Everywhere. Everywhere but at Chloe.

"Chlo, hate to break it to you, but I think Aubrey has Stockholm syndromed the shit out of you."

* * *

 

"A frat party? That's super... LAME!" Fat Amy rolled her eyes at Bumper.

When they'd gotten to the bar, Fat Amy was already there with Cynthia, belting out a song on the stage and Lily arrived shortly later. All the Trebles were there and Jesse had brought along his room mate. Beca recognised him from the auditions. Turns out he hadn't gotten in to any of the groups, which she found baffling. He had passion radiating from him. Whatever most of these a cappella people were lame anyways. Especially the captains if they wouldn't let a fine young bro like him in.

"Your face is super lame."

"That come back is super lame." Bumper retorted. He was the Captain of the Trebles. Chloe had always found him amusing, she liked all the other a cappella group members but Aubrey had it in for all of them this year. Last year they would always hang out together. Chloe missed this.

Beca and Chloe watched Fat Amy and Bumper's back and forth, smiled at one another over it. Chloe nodded towards the bar, and Beca followed. After they'd ordered drinks Chloe looked back over at her friends inhabiting the bar and wished Aubrey was there with her.

"Sorry Chlo, I thought there'd be like actual karaoke..."

"All the a cappella groups always hang out here, they let us just do what the shit we want if there's enough of us some nights."

"So no lame music track?" Chloe shook her head, smiling. "No words on a screen?"

"Nope. Just you, a stage and a mic."

"And here I thought I'd have to sing 'Kiss from a rose' or 'Black Velvet' picked out from a little book or something..."

"Nope. I'm gonna go up after Lilly finishes... or starts." Beca looked over to where Chloe's eyes had settled. Lilly stood behind the mic. Her lips moving. Weren't they? But nothing. Just nothing. Beca looked back to Chloe to find Chloe's eyes already on her. Chloe sipped her drink. Her eyes dark over her glass on Beca. "Ok, my go!"

Drink placed fast and almost knocked over due to Chloe's excitement with a few drips on the counter beside Becas drink, as Beca watched Chloe make her way towards the stage the second Lily had made her way off.

Chloe had a song in mind, it was also a ska song, but by the time she was on the stage and looking back at Beca, where she'd been standing had been replaced by Jesse, her song choice quickly disappeared and what came out just came out. Impulsive. On the nose.

"There's a little girl I know, you might know her too, she look's so cool, whoaaa, she looks so cute, standing next to you." Chloe could feel the beat of the song in her hips, and the way she bobbed her head, a sway, Beca's eyes swayed with her. Watched every movement. Every curve. Chloe sang the song slower than it should be, but with no lame music track, or others from the Bellas to be her musical backing, her bass line, her horn section, the song came alive in a way she'd never heard it. "And I don't know what to do," Chloe's eyes found Beca's. She'd been trying to avoid looking directly at Beca. Never mind eye contact. From the moment she'd seen Jesse in her place she hadn't been able to look back. A passion. A fury building up in her. Jealousy. An emotion she was unfamiliar with. An emotion she didn't know what to do with or handle. "I want your girlfriend to be my, I want your girlfriend be my, I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend..." Chloe forced a smile as she saw Jesse's arm around Beca. "Too." She looked away, dancing to the beat in her head before continuing. Her head down, eyes closed. She blocked out the noise of the bar. In her head it was just her. And Beca. And blackness. A void. "She's so fucking cute, I wish that she was mine, she's so fucking cute I'm gonna lose my mind..."

Fat Amy jumped up on the stage with Chloe. Chloe looked up a little taken aback. Ok a lot. Surprised. Her thoughts broken into, the noise of the bar came rushing back, Beca standing with Jesse, and his arm, his waist, hips, whatever, pressed up against her, all came rushing back.

"Love me some 90s ska!" Fat Amy shouted, drink in her hand swaying out the glass as she raised it high, and joined in. Singing. Dancing. Bumper watched with a smile, but when one of the Trebles nudged him and motioned to Fat Amy on the stage, he turned his smile down, and looked away. "Follow that!"

Chloe linked with Fat Amy as they made their way to a table where Jessica and Ashley had arrived at and sat down at somewhere during their song.

Beca watched Chloe sit. Beca watched Chloe not looking over at her. Beca watched Chloe not returning to her. Beca just watched. What could she do or say and not cause some sort of scene? There was no reason to cause a scene she was just being stupid. Right?

Totally.

Jesse smiled at her.

"Another drink Bec?"

"No... thanks. Let's go." She grabbed his shirt and pulled him across the bar. By the time they got to the stage, his hand had found hers. She wasn't sure if that was her doing or his. All her focus had been on Chloe. On Chloe laughing. On Chloe sitting with people that weren't her. On Chloe enjoying herself. Without her. But that song had been beyond blatantly about her. Sang at her. In front of everyone. She could die. Or fight back. Backed in a corner. Right now. The alcohol in her blood had her in a fighting stance.

"Baby I'm living the dream, with you by my side we work as a team," And she's on the stage. Mic in hand. Totally not rapping at Chloe. "I know I'm a mac, its not what it seems, I'm covered in pink" And looking directly across at Chloe "from swimming in green, when I'm eating you" And Chloe hasn't even looked up, across, nothing, in no way acknowledged that Beca is on the stage. "like Idi Amin, mama the stars could not intervene," She feels her chest tight, her bravado waver, but Beca continued. "you are a star, I'm keeping it clean, you are the prettiest girl I have seen, what does that mean?" Chloe who had been playing it cool up to that point, looked up at Beca on the stage. For a brief moment she didn't even see Jesse up there with her. Behind her, dancing up against her. Didn't see and only saw Beca, rapping at her. Her inside's flipped. "It means you're the one and most of these dudes are just fucking for fun, girl you know I would never do that to you, all the girls that I do must be beautiful, inside and out, meaning her mouth," Chloe saw the confident Beca, the cocky Beca. The Beca that had called Aubrey out on her bullshit. The Beca that grabbed her attention. "girl I'm just playing here's what I'm saying, if you like real then give me a go, if you never try, then we'll never know."

Beca placed the mic back in the stand, Jesse leant over her and sang.

"Oooh its alright, oooh its okay, let them all know that I got this way, cause I miss you girl." His hands, Chloe noticed, were on Beca's hips. Had they always been? "I want to be with you and if the sun don't come out its ok, never ever let me go, do you love me girl I need to know cause you're my sunshine girl." Beca lent back into him, closed her eyes, sure he'd missed half the words but it made her forget that she'd actually gotten up in front of the bar and rapped to? At? About? Chloe. With him there she didn't feel quite so vulnerable. Quite so exposed.

Chloe threw the rest of her drink down her throat.

"Another round?" She motioned to the gang who'd gathered at their table. They all cheered. "Another round it is."

* * *

 

Aubrey collapsed back onto the bed in sheer exhaustion. The frat mixer had gone bad.

Really bad.

Bad.

They had no cohesion. No co-ordination. They just weren't.

She knew they needed a new set. She knew it. Annoying little Beca had annoyingly informed her of this in front of everyone. Dick move.

Stacie lay beside her, playing at Aubrey's blouse. Fingers gently stroking. They both still wore the Bella uniform, it felt restricting. Being the captain was becoming a chore. No that was harsh, she thrived on this feeling. The feeling of about to fail. But Jesus, she's pretty sure she could thrive on things going her way just once. Her neck scarf felt like a noose. The Bellas were meant to be fun.

For Chloe.

For them all really, but Chloe loved being surrounded by the Bella's last year, so it had been up to her to replace them for her. She wished she was enough for Chloe. Could be everything to her. For her. But she wasn't. Couldn't. Chloe needed people. Activity. Love.

The women they had chosen were making Chloe happy. Fat Amy could make Chloe laugh, like really doubled over in the middle laughing until you can't breathe laughing and there was never a day she didn't hear another funny Fat Amy story from Chloe that she had missed. Jessica and Ashley had practically moved their stuff in too. She thinks. Maybe. And maybe are sharing a room. Maybe they knew each other already. Are related. Are girlfriends. Aubrey can't tell. Hasn't got time. Chloe takes more notice of the actual goings on in the house than she ever cares to do. Has time for.

And there was the midget. Obnoxious little alt girl Beca seemed to be the main reason Chloe was back to her peppy self. At least she hadn't moved in. So there's a plus.

Aubrey wondered how long until that crashed and Beca burned her.

"That was," Aubrey lay stiff against the bed, flat, staring up at the ceiling. "An utter disaster."

Stacie hummed in agreement.

"We can help out, make a total new set, we've all got your back."

"No Stace, it's down to me and I..." Aubreys jaw clenched, trying to keep the words in. She wouldn't be defeated. "It's all just down to me. Ok?"

"Aub no, no it's not," Stacie was up leaning on her elbow "we're a team, and I want you to be able to focus on more important matters like your college work, and I'm not saying the Bellas aren't important, it's how I met you after all," Stacie placed a kiss on Aubreys cheek. She smiled into it as she felt Aubreys body lose some of its tension. "But there is life beyond-"

"-No. It's all on me. I'm the one in charge. I don't have time to come up with an entire new set. I just..." Aubrey brought her hands up and covered her face. Her limbs felt heavy. The air around her sinking, piling on top of her.

"Chloe's your co-captain, let her... co-captain." Stacie shrugged, not really knowing what she meant by that, but she knew she wanted to help Aubrey. "Let her help. Let us all help. You can have the last say for like everything but... just let us help." Stacie moved, straddling Aubrey. "You could do with letting go," Stacie lent down and kissed Aubrey on the forehead, she heard Aubrey's sigh, felt it on her face. A tickle. "a little," Stacie trailed her lips down the bridge of Aubrey's nose, planting a small kiss on the tip of Aubrey's nose. "sometimes."

"Like it's just that easy?"

"Maybe. Let yourself lose control."


	9. Chapter 9

"Stacie-"

Aubrey's words cut off as Stacie's hand gripped at her waist. The other moved over the fabric of her shirt, over her stomach. Aubreys breath became ragged as Stacie pushed against her.

Palm sliding.

"Aub?" Stacie's tone questioning but she was not really looking for any kind of answer. Stacie massaged Aubrey's stomach as it twitched beneath the layer of the Bella uniform. Aubrey's hands moved up Stacie's legs as Stacie squeezed them a little against Aubrey's hips. Aubrey moved her finger tips slow. Light. Against the cool flesh of Stacie's thighs until she reached the taught, tight, skirt. There she let them linger. Her heart pounded so loud in her ears she feared Stacie would hear and know how nervous she was.

"Ohhh," Aubrey breathed out slow, trying to steady her breathing, she bit her bottom lip to keep in a moan as Stacie's hand on her stomach moved lower, her thumb sliding into and under the waist band of Aubrey's own skirt. Aubrey swallowed. Hard. As her eyes watched Stacie's thumb stroking. Feeling the pressure of Stacies other hand at her waist. A light squeeze. Slight movement of Stacie's fingers, testing. Exploring. "...so you're in charge now?"

Stacie hummed in response. Aubrey quirked an eyebrow, Aubrey was surprised at how much she enjoyed being under Stacie. Under Stacie's gaze. Under Stacie's hands. Under Stacie's thighs.

Stacie lent back. Hands propping her up. Outstretched.

And looked.

Looked.

Just looked at the beauty under her, in front of her. Those eyes. Aubrey smiled up at her. The way her cheeks rose and begged to be touched, stroked, pinched, a little bite perhaps.

"If you let me..." The side of Stacie's mouth turned up, a half smile, testing. "Yes?" She giggled a little, leaning in and as Aubrey went to kiss her on the lips she moved slowly and kissed Aubrey's jaw. Kissed down to her neck and across where tense muscles relaxed as she went. A throaty sigh escaping Aubrey's mouth. No not escaping. She let it go. Being freed as Stacie pulled her scarf off slowly. "Just let the guys help. Let me..." Another kiss to the newly revealed skin. "...Help..." Another to her clavicle. Her teeth grazed a little as she smiled into it. Smiled into the tension leaving Aubrey. "...You."

Aubrey shifted her hips, not to move Stacie off her, or to move Stacie underneath her, this wasn't a power play but an involuntarily motion out of pleasure. Stacie pressed herself into Aubrey more, and more, and more. Rolling. Softly but firm. Ground down against Aubrey, ground down against the harsh tight restrictive material of the Bella skirt. Ground down against Aubrey's Bella uniform and hit just in the right place to make all the air leave her lungs as Aubrey's hips rolled up.

"I need to be in control," Stacie's hands took a hold of Aubrey's and pushed them up awkwardly. Aubrey pushed back. A little. "Stacie."

"Nope, you want to be in control." Stacie got Aubrey's hands awkwardly to the side of her head. "Not need." Stacie rolled her hips down. Hitting the right spot again. They both gasped as Aubrey's eyes rolled back. "There's a difference." Stacie looked down across Aubrey's face, to her neck, taught muscles, Aubrey's chest rising rapidly. Stacie licked her lips as she couldn't move her eyes off how amazing Aubrey's breasts looked in the white shirt, and blue Bella sweater. Tight.

"Stacie." Aubrey moaned her name. She felt herself unravelling. Coming undone. This was new to her. She'd always been the aggressor. Literally the one to top anyone she'd been with. She had always topped Uni. Fuck he was hot, but that was all. There had been no substance beyond that. But with Stacie, she was surprised by her every day. "Staaa..." Aubrey repeated, unable to fully form her name. Stacie heard the begging tone in the back of Aubrey's throat. It brought her eyes back up to meet Aubrey's. It brought her mind back to the topic in hand, and not where she wanted her hands to be. Moving down her arms to her restricting shirt and release Aubrey's breasts from the confines of the Bella uniform.

"We're more than a group of really amazing singers."

"Yeah you're a hot piece of ass."

"No I'm-" Stacie snickered, pushed down on Aubrey's wrists. A squeeze. To let her know she was still in control. "Well yeah..." She rolled her eyes, nodding. "but I'm more than that. We're all more than that. Did you know for instance that I can play piano?"

"Oh like chopsticks?" Stacie shifted her grip on Aubrey's wrists and trailed her palm into Aubrey's. She squeezed Aubrey's hands playfully. Fingers flexing. Aubrey's strained back as she fought to regain a steady pace of breathing. "Or heart and soul?" Stacie tried to even a serious look at Aubrey but Aubrey took no notice and started singing at her "heart and soul I fell in love wi-"

"-No no no, don't be rude." Stacie placed a hand over Aubrey's mouth. "I'm a grade 6." Stacie felt Aubrey's smile grow beneath her palm. "Thank you," She couldn't hear Aubrey even sing the words, not those words. "very much."

Words about love.

Of love.

In love.

She knew she was falling hard and fast for Aubrey, she didn't need helping along, she didn't need Aubrey stating anything.

All she needed was Aubrey.

She felt Aubrey smile against her hand. She moved it off, cupping her jaw, her cheek and let her fingers play at Aubrey's ear. Aubrey's eyes closed.

Slow.

She lent into Stacies hand, placed a kiss on the palm. Stacie watched, straining to keep her eyes open. To watch. Stacie needed to remember this.

Every action. Every reaction.

Aubrey kissed her palm again. And again. And again.

Slow.

Aubrey's tongue came out to lick up Stacie's palm. A finger. Until Stacie's fingers were playing at her mouth, pulling on her lip, prodding at the entrance to her mouth until Aubrey moved her head to take in a digit, tongue swirled, a small bite as she smiled. Aubrey looked up as she released Stacie's finger from her playful bite, watched Stacie's head loll back, eyes closed, as she moved her mouth forward to suck. Stacie forced her eyes open, her vision blurry, as Aubrey took another digit with her tongue, joined it with the wet one already in her mouth. Aubrey moaned as her tongue twirled around the two digits, between them, feeling Stacie's other hand, still on her wrist above her head, its grip tighten.

Stacie's hips jerked as her head fell forward.

Eyes slammed shut.

Tight.

Aubrey let Stacie's fingers go with a wet plop noise. She kissed the tips. She watched Stacie with curiosity. Stacie's head still forward, her breathing heavy, her hand unmoved from the entrance of Aubrey's mouth.

"Stace?" No reply. Just laboured breathing. Aubrey giggled. Bit the tip of Stacie's fingers. "I wanna hear you..."

"You've made me," Stacie opened her eyes slow and found Aubrey's twinkling up at her. Icy. Daggers. Piercing into her. "So wet."

"Play." Aubrey gulped, loud, her own vision blurred as she repeated Stacies words in her mind. Ringing. Beautiful. A smile broke out across her face. She stuck her tongue out at Stacie. Stacie shook her head a little, eyes narrow, a pout. Both hands back at Aubrey's wrists. Aubrey lifted her shoulders off the bed and kissed her. "I wanna hear you play." Aubrey mumbled against unmoving lips as she kissed her over and over until Stacie's mouth parted, gave way to Aubrey's tongue, and at the first taste of Stacie's strawberry sweetness she smiled and moved her head away. Lent back against the bed again. "Let's go." At the twist of Aubreys hips, Stacie climbed off of her. Slow. But her breathing fast. "Auditorium."

Stacie swung off Aubrey and knelt on the bed as Aubrey rose, quick. Grabbing her keys off the dresser by the door.

Aubrey stopped at the door way looking back, when she realised that Stacie hadn't followed. Aubrey's head lowered, as she looked up at Stacie on the bed through her lashes. She had to will herself to stay. Stationary. To not rush back and tackle Stacie back onto the bed. Under her. Rip off the clothing that Stacie was currently removing and place kisses on every inch of skin until both lost control and all that was left was a hazy bliss where they wouldn't know where each other began or ended.

"Can't I at least change first?" Stacie already had the sweater on the floor by the bed, and was removing her own blouse.

"If you continue..." Aubrey stared her down. "we won't be leaving."

Stacie sent her a faux look of nonchalant, shrugged her shoulders as she popped another button on the blouse. She had been more than happy to stay in bed with Aubrey but Aubrey had other plans. She wouldn't let her take them back now. If Aubrey wanted to hear her play piano then so be it. So she popped another. And another button. And one more until there was one left.

Then the last button was gone.

Aubrey shuddered, her eyes closed slowly, when she opened them Stacie had released her hair. It cascaded down, fell over her shoulders, rested down over her breasts. Stacie couldn't help the cocky smile that made its way to her face. Power. Control.

"Get it together, Aub." Stacie pealed her blouse off as she left it behind her on the bed as she walked over to Aubrey's closet. She pulled out a fuchsia cardigan sweater, buttoning it directly over her bra. She looked back over at Aubrey who was levelling her with the darkest eyes. "Geez." Stacie said just above a whisper, teasing but loving the effect she had on Aubrey. Stacie smiled, licked her lips. "Control yourself."

"I thought you told me to lose control."

* * *

 

They decided it was nice enough out to just walk over to the auditorium plus they could pick up Aubrey's car for the return journey. Hand in hand. Stacie snuggled down close to Aubrey. Audrey shook a little from the slight breeze. But she needed it, they both needed the hit of fresh air.

"I'd offer you your own sweater to wear but-"

"-thank you, yes, you being so... adorably... you... didn't think of putting anything underneath it."

"Well yeah." She shrugged and smiled. "Come here." Stacie unlinked their fingers and placed her arm around Aubrey's waist, drawing her in closer. "I've been told I'm hot. I'll warm you up."

Aubrey lent her head down against Stacie's shoulder. Feeling comfort. Security. Knowing Stacie got her.

They reached the auditorium, Audrey unlocked the door but Stacie held the door open for her. Stacie nodded her head, a smile, a motion for Aubrey to enter ahead of her.

"Thank you." Aubrey passed her. A knowing smile. Her hips swayed. Smooth.

"Welcome."

"You just do that so you can watch my ass." Aubrey glanced back over her shoulder. Smiled as she watched Stacie's eyes firmly glued to her ass. "I'm onto you Conrad."

"Guilty." Stacie cocked her head to one side, sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth, taking in the full view of Aubrey walking into the dimly lit hall. She watched as Aubrey made her way to the piano. Stacie followed. Stacie roamed her hands over the piano.

"Stop teasing." Aubrey said as she watched Stacie's hands. Stacie sat. Over dramatically, earning a laugh from Aubrey.

She placed her fingers above the keys. Held them there. A long pause. She flicked her eyes up to make sure Aubrey was watching. She was.

Entranced.

Baited breath. Ready.

Then she played 'Chopsticks'. Aubrey laughed again as Stacie transitioned into 'Heart and Soul' and then into 'The Saints Go Marching In'.

"How'd you know?" Stacie played slower.

"Know what?"

"The song..." Stacie added notes, the songs melody becoming her own improvised creation. "I'm from a military family."

"Army brat," Stacie laughed. A little nod. "Yeah makes total sense." Aubrey leant over and playfully hit Stacie which made Stacie laugh a little more then she started playing again, transitioning into 'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy' which Aubrey started to sing along with.

"He was the top man at his craft," She smiled at Aubrey, she never stopped smiling when they were together. "but then his number came up and he was gone with the draft-"

"God!" Stacie broke into her singing, Aubrey's eyes wide, as Stacie held up one of her hands to clutch at her chest. "...you're voice." Aubrey laughed in response and walked around the piano, leaning low across it.

"Play something that reminds you of me..." Stacie continued playing 'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy' "...please?"

"Hmmm…" Stacie thought for a few seconds that felt like minutes, long, arduous, minutes to Aubrey as silence fell around them in the auditorium.

"Please..." Stacie smiled at her as she started hammering out the opening riff of 'Take Me or Leave Me'

"Every single day..." Stacie began to sing. "I walk down the street..." She closed her eyes, feeling the music travelling up through her arms, into her chest, as she sang to Aubrey. "I hear people say 'Baby so sweet' Ever since puberty everybody stares at me, boys, girls," Stacie opened her eyes and winked at Aubrey. "I can't help it baby." Aubrey came over to sit next to her, perched on the edge of the seat. "So be kind and don't lose your mind, just remember," Stacie stuck her tongue out at Aubrey. "That I'm your baby."

Stacie played a the next bit but didn't sing it. Instead her eyes were on Aubrey. She wanted to sing the words to her but her throat felt choked. Aubrey did these things that she couldn't explain to her.

"Keep going." Aubrey struggled to speak, but needed to hear Stacie continue so the words forced themselves free. Stacie carried on playing back into the verse.

"You." Aubrey bit back her smile as she moved closer and nudged Stacie. Stacie pouted at her. "Kiss pookie."

"I look before I leap," Aubrey started singing along to Stacie's playing "I love margins and discipline," Aubrey rolled her eyes playfully, "I make lists in my sleep baby." Aubrey turned her head, down, level gaze at Stacie. Stacie smirked. "What's my sin? Never quit, I follow through. I hate mess but I love you-"

"-You're amazing."

"I know." Aubrey shrugged, turning her head to look back at Stacies fingers as they continued through the song. "So be wise," Aubrey started singing again picking back up to where Stacie was in the song. "Cause this girl satisfies." Her turn to wink, small but there as her eyes still followed Stacies fingers on the keys. "You got a prize so don't compromise, you're one lucky baby."

Stacie licked her lips. Trying to breathe. Steady. She felt Aubrey's gaze on her hands. Her fingers. She closed her eyes slowly, as she thought about the woman beside her, letting the song wash over her. Over them.

"Go on..."

"Take me for what I am." Aubrey belted out. Her eyes closed. Feeling Stacies fingers over the keys through the music that was making her head swim.

"A control freak." Stacie knew her part. Muttered the words. Opened her eyes and looked up at Aubrey. Aubrey's neck. The taught muscles that she wanted to run her tongue over, suck on until they both forgot their own names.

"Who I was meant to be." Aubrey sang quieter, and her head down again watching Stacie play.

"A snob, yet over attentive." Aubrey smiled but didn't continue singing. She licked her lips as her eyes moved up over Stacie's hands. Arms. Chest. In her own tight sweater. "Damn you, Posen." She transitioned to play 'Head Over Heels', as Aubrey stood and moved over again closer sitting side ways on the seat, her legs on either side of Stacie. Aubrey stroked gently over Stacie's arms.

"Scooch." Stacie faltered a little as Aubrey slung her legs over and moved to sit behind her. Stacie balanced on the edge of the seat. Aubrey rested her head on Stacie's shoulder, her arms around her waist, finger laced together over her stomach. "You keep your distance with a system of touch," She felt Stacie shudder and twitch under her touch. She smiled at that response. Aubrey continued to sing quietly along "...gentle persuasion. I'm lost in admiration. Could I need you this much?" Aubrey turned her head, inhaling Stacie's scent. Sweet. Fruity. Aubrey's mind went back to Stacie putting her to bed when she was wasted. She hadn't recalled anything about that night past them leaving the rest of the Bellas at the front door and heading up stairs to their room. She kissed the side of Stacies neck, tasting her.

Delicious.

Images came back to Aubrey. She pieced together a conversation she thinks she may have had with Chloe. That didn't sound right. Why would she have left Stacie and went to talk to Chloe? But the memory was there. Her curled at the foot of Chloe's bed. Then she felt the muscle memory of Stacie being curled up into the back of her. That felt right.

"Something happens and I'm head over heels," Stacie continued the song "I never find out until I'm head over heels." Barely. Her voice a ghost. Unable to strain above a whisper as Aubrey's lips worked against the skin at her throat.

"...don't take my heart, don't break my heart," Aubrey sang the words into her skin as she remembered telling Stacie she could fall in love with her. And she was. "don't don't don't throw it away..."

"I made a fire and I'm watching it burn," Stacie took the lead. "I thought of your future." Stacie's eyes closed as Aubrey's mouth melded into her jaw. She struggled and barely got the next line out. "...With one foot in the past now just how long will it last-"

Aubrey swallowed the song as her lips found Stacies.


	10. Chapter 10

"You gonna let us help you with the music then?"

Stacie broke the kiss with her words. Mumbled into Aubrey's moving lips. Stacies fingers stopped, moved to rest on top of where one of Aubrey hand's had found its way to cradle her face.

"Mmmm maybe." Aubrey licked into Stacies mouth. They continued to kiss. Heads at awkward angles. But perfect. Just as long as their lips found each other Stacie didn't care about a potential kink in her neck. Stacie broke the kiss when she couldn't hold back wanting to rip off the purple and black striped top, that she's pretty sure is actually Chloe's, Aubrey had thrown on before they'd left.

"Did you even get to know these girls? Did you know how musical they all are? For instance Jessica plays the cello, Beca can play guitar, Lily freestyles, Fat Amy's into modern dance, Ashley's in a bluegrass band that we totally all need to go see," Stacie nudged Aubrey's nose with her own. "We've all got contributions to make, everyone can help. Wants to help," A small kiss to Aubrey's nose. "...You."

"Yeah?" Aubrey breathed the word. Feeling really worked up by Stacie. And not quite believing how inattentive she had been to the entire group. Chloe would know all this too, like Stacie did. She felt embarrassed.

"Yes," Aubrey felt Stacies smile on her cheek, as she lay her head down on her shoulder. "Absolutely."

"You're right. I'm always so-"

"-Focused, you're focused and driven an-"

"-And I-I can't help it I-"

"-Aub..." Stacie had to stop Aubrey putting herself down."I love the way you are. You're amazing." Aubrey smiled, nervous. Stacie had said the L word. She hadn't said that she loved her. Nor had she said she was in love with her. There was a difference to Aubrey. Stacie had just said she loved a thing about her. That's all. Now if only her pounding heart could calm down a bit.

"You too." Aubrey struggled the words out. "Amazing," Aubrey kissed her lightly. Stacie smiled into the kiss. Aubrey mumbled into Stacie's smile. "You're amazing."

"I know."

* * *

 

"Hey Aub, I'm running late at the lab, don't be mad, I'll make it up to you, I know you booked a table and had everything so Aubrey'd, yes its a verb now because I used it as such. I gotta go, ring me?"

Aubrey only had one morning class that day so had spent the afternoon having lunch with Chloe and then the two of them went to yoga. Her phone vibrated as they left the gym. She checked and the screen flashed that she had a voice mail, she interrupted Chloe mid flow through a Fat Amy story, holding her index finger up, as she pressed play on the message. She heard Stacie's message. Her stomach sank. She'd really been looking forward to their night together. She'd had her outfit planned for days. Her and Chloe had been shopping especially to pick it out.

"Sorry. Can you give me one minute, I've got to call Stace."

"Um, sure. I'll go grab us some protein shakes?"

"That'd be sweet. Thanks."

"Sure Bree."

They parted, Chloe heading towards the store. She didn't need to ask what Aubrey wanted. She always knew the shake Aubrey loved. Aubrey hung back, outside in the sunshine. The warmth filtering through the leaves of the tree above her doing nothing to chase away the cold that had suddenly meandered through her entire body. Nervous. Phone in hand, staring. Just call her. Just. Do. It. Why did she feel so nervous? This was Stacie. Her Stacie. Her Stacie that wanted her for more than her body. That Aubrey wanted for more than hers. They had a real relationship going here. Didn't they? She pressed the button to call Stacie back.

Stacie picked up after a few really long rings.

"Hi!" Stacie fumbled her phone out her bag, having practically galloped over to it away from her equipment, holding a finger up at her lab partner Florence to silence her protests, because yeah she'd ran off at a crucial time but it was Aubrey ringing, she could tell by the ring tone she'd set. Tongue in cheek of course, as 'WONDER WOMAN!' screamed out of her phone with a funky bass beat. "Aub you got my message!"

"Yeah," Aubrey smiled into the phone, her voice caught in her throat, her mind stopped. She didn't now what to say so she gulped and then asked. "...so what's the sitch?"

"And how's your day Aub?" Stacie chuckled down the phone. "Lovely? yeah?" She poked fun at Aubrey's directness. "Mine too."

"We can talk about that later, what's happening tonight?" Aubrey liked plans. She liked being the one making them. Organising them. So to not know was to not be her. Not be comfortable. Being the one asking what was going to happen was completely alien to her.

"I can't really talk right now," Stacie smirked into the phone, she was still in the lab and felt Florence's eyes boring into her. She knew she really shouldn't have even answered her phone. "Pick me up from class, I'll text you when I'm out, we'll wing it from there."

Wing it?

Aubrey didn't do winging it. She did meticulous planning. To the letter. Her chest felt tight as she thought about the lack of plans for the night.

Wing it.

Sure.

Sure, she repeated to herself. As long as she was with Stacie she could do it.

Chloe returned with her shake. She handed it to Aubrey, a smile passed between them. Aubrey nodded a thank you.

"Sure, we'll wing it."

* * *

 

Aubrey pulled up, parked and sat in her car. Waiting. She had her hands clamped firmly on the steering wheel, as she let out a steady breath.

She was excited.

Sure she had seen Stacie that morning but she had to be up and out early for class so she hadn't seen all of the Stacie she wanted.

Her head buzzed thinking and over thinking. Did Stacie try to make up some lame excuse to get out of going out with her? Did Stacie want anything to do with Aubrey other than wanting to get into her pants? Was this almost gentlemanly and courteous way Stacie was half playing it, actually her playing a part, a dance, to get what she wanted. No, Aubrey, you're being stupid. She wouldn't have moved into the Bella house. Moved into your life as ferociously as she had if she didn't want all of you. If she didn't want the entire package. The relationship. It just seemed all too easy. And that made Aubrey worry. Worrying that there was nothing to worry about.

Stacie was up front about wanting her sexually, and Aubrey really liked that about Stacie. Who had time for dancing about the subject? For playing games? You want someone just tell them. That really turned her on.

Stacie needing her. Wanting her. Telling her and acting upon it. Yet holding back. And not just jumping her bones at the smallest opportunity like she knew she and Uni both had when they'd been together. She had thought the lust they'd felt for one another was love. But it didn't even register for what she was experiencing with Stacie.

She kept seeing another side to Stacie. Not another side. Maybe it was the same facet. But Stacie was caring. Thoughtful. Pushed her to want to be a better person. And Stacie was way smarter than she would ever be, and she was no slouch in the brains department.

Stacie walked down the steps of her building, and the look that she gave Aubrey made any remaining doubts vanish. Poof! Gone.

Stacie smiled when she saw Aubrey sitting in the car waiting on her. Waiting for her. Stacie always wore a smile when it came to Aubrey. Everything felt so easy. So right.

She saw how tense Aubrey's shoulders were and flashed her a bright smile, hoping and succeeding to ease her tension.

Aubrey got out her car, going to Stacie. Stacie embraced her. A moan in the back of her throat as they hugged. Aubrey hugged her tightly back.

"Hey you," Stacie spoke into Aubrey's hair. Aubrey hummed in reply, both not wanting the hug to end, wanting to draw one another in and kiss until they both trembled and then the hug was over and Stacie looked down at her with curiosity. "You good?" Stacie's eyes searched Aubrey's face as Aubrey stared into her eyes.

"The glasses. Ugh they're doing things to me."

"Me too, they let me see." Stacie chuckled low as she walked away, around the car, threw her bag in the back and slinked into the passenger seat. "You coming? Or you just gonna watch my ass," Stacie smiled at Aubrey, not that Aubrey saw, her eyes were indeed on Stacie's ass. "I'm onto you Posen."

Aubrey had just been standing, watching the way Stacies hips swayed.

"Totally."

Aubrey went to her side of her car and climbed in, as she settled and placed her seat belt over her, Stacie lent in close and kissed her cheek, before settling into her own seat and fixing her own belt across her chest. Aubrey smiled, as she took her phone in hand and found music for them.

"So what's the plans for tonight?" Stacie asked.

"I cancelled the table." Stacie's brow furrowed. "No its good, I've been thinking about what you said and I want to ask the Bellas for help." Stacies smile lit her eyes back up. "So Bella party at the house?" Aubrey felt strange asking Stacie's opinion. No asking for anyone's opinion on a decision was strange for her. But Stacie was different. She wanted Stacie's input.

"Awes!" Aubrey could tell from the way Stacie said the word that she had been hanging around with Chloe. It made her smile. Knowing Chloe had Stacie, had these other women as a support system, a family.

"Yeah?"

"Totally!"

* * *

 

"Quiet Aca-Bitches!"

Aubrey stopped the music, everyone had been enjoying the party. Which was swell. But not the actual reason Aubrey had thrown it. A bit of subterfuge on her part.

"But it's a party..."

"Yes. Fat Amy," Aubrey's words came out clipped and biting. "it is." She caught the pleading look in Stacie's eyes and it drove her to continue in a gentler tone. "As the leader of the Bellarmy, I have a fav..." She felt the pit of her stomach drop, she swallowed hard. "No I need to..." She felt the sickness rising. "...no?" Stacie shook her head but motioned with her hand for Aubrey to continue. "I want to ask... for your help."

Stacie gave her the a-ok gesture. Stacie's big warming smile made Aubrey feel secure.

Chloe glanced at Stacie out the side of her eye, smiled in surprise. Her eyes wide. Taking in the scene. Was she... had she... neh she couldn't have passed out and be dreaming this.

Right?

Wrong.

Stacie had convinced Aubrey to ask for help. Like with words. Actual words. Aubrey had let down her defences.

"Dude are you..." Beca started but didn't want to finish that sentence in case Aubrey blew chunks right there, in front of her, maybe even splash her lush new boots and then she'd just be so done and walk out. And she didn't want to walk out. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay. Because Chloe.

"Bitch gonna blow!" Fat Amy shouted as she made a dive for the couch. Came back up with her phone in hand. Horizontal. Light from the camera lit up. "What?"

"Bree, you ok?" Chloe looked between Stacie and Aubrey, smiling a little in contentment, and if she was honest, shock that Aubrey had asked for help. Aubrey who had never asked for help before. She went over and placed her hand on Aubrey's back, rubbing gently until her hand settled in the small of her back. "Bree?"

Aubrey turned and ran into the kitchen, doubled up over the sink and let go.

Stacie and Chloe went straight to her.

"Party on!" Fat Amy called from behind them as she had followed, drink in one hand, her phone filming Aubrey in the other. Stacie and Chloe both shot her a warning look. A look that she ignored. "Party on!"

* * *

 

"I've got her," Stacie smiled at Chloe as she held Aubrey's hand, leading her upstairs. "Go enjoy yourself."

A smile passed between them, warm, understanding. Chloe winked up at Stacie. Best friend approval. Yes, Chloe certainly was liking the affect Stacie was having on Aubrey. Chloe loved Aubrey the way she was but it seemed hard for Aubrey to be Aubrey sometimes. If merely asking for help made her literally throw up, something was wrong. If Stacie could help with that. Then heck yeah she approved. A little change here or there to benefit Aubrey was welcomed by Chloe. Stacie was good for her.

Stacie felt warmth envelop her, it emitted from Chloe's smile. She felt part of something special, being here with Aubrey. With Chloe. With all the Bellas. Maybe all that sisterhood bullshit she never bought into before was real, just maybe. Whatever it was she liked it. Liked being depended upon. She'd always been so independent. Her parents never having to pay her much attention. An only child. No big extended family. No drama. Just her and her books. Her studies. Always pushing to better herself. For herself. Being surrounded by all these women in this big house was alien to her. Sharing in someone's life as quick and as deep as she had with Aubrey was new to her. She excelled at new tasks.

"Come on, Aub, come on," She guided Aubrey over to their bed. "Just lie down."

"I'm fine, its just," She collapsed back on the bed, "it's just..."

"I understand," Stacie leant over and rubbed Aubrey's bare arm, feeling the goosebumps rise to meet her touch. "Just let me run you a bath, yeah?"

"But the party..." Aubrey half heartedly pointed in the direction of her now closed, thanks to Stacie, door. Stacie had caught on quick to that rule. Stacie liked that rule.

"Yeah they don't need you to have a party, sorry Aub, you're just not that exciting," Stacie teased. Aubrey frowned up at her. "I need you to get your shit together. Get undressed, meet me in your bathroom."

"Our bathroom." Aubrey corrected as she had her top already off over her head. Stacie was still new to this. New to sharing space. Sharing someone's life.

"Yeah," She smiled back at Aubrey, taking in the long slim waist of Aubrey, the muscles of her stomach from, well she guessed like yoga, and swallowed. Hard. She could get used to this. "Ours."

Stacie shook her head at herself, this was all too good to be true. But it was. She turned and walked into the en suite leaving Aubrey struggling to remove her own clothes.

"Ours sounds good. Can't you whap the shower on instead? I just wanna be in bed as soon as." Aubrey called out to her, Stacie heard her from the bathroom. "I need a little help here Stace."

"Get you're fine ass in here already-" Stacie looked up in at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. Shock, yeah shock was in her eyes, and disbelief in her smile. Aubrey asking the Bella's for help. Asking her for help.

"Stacie." Aubrey groaned her name. She could hear the commotion of her drunken girlfriend, stumbling, trying to take off her clothing. How could she be so graceful most of the time yet so bumbling once drunk.

"Ass. In here. Now."

* * *

 

Chloe returned to the front room, the music blaring again, the beat thrumming through her bones. She needed to dance. She wanted to go dance with Beca some more. She just needed to find her first.

They'd spent the night drinking, talking, joking. Together. The smart, confident, witty, sarcastic Beca had turned up tonight.

Score.

Chloe liked any version of Beca, the flustered because of her one. The flustered because of her but pretending like she wasn't one. The one that tried to make her jealous one. The one that succeeded. The one that made her realise she could be a jealous person, cause yeah that was news to Chloe. She wasn't a jealous person. That wasn't an emotion she knew. She certainly didn't know how to handle it.

There were more people there than there had been before she'd went and helped clean up Aubrey. She spotted some of the High Notes lounging on the sofa's, and some Treblemakers wondering into their kitchen. Donald. Wes. Tommy, who wasn't even in a group but loved a cappella, was he an a cappella groupie? She pondered. Briefly. Smiled at the thought that they could have groupies. Then she saw Benji, she remembered his voice from the auditions, he was amazing, guess he'd eventually gotten a spot in one of the groups. She hoped. Hoped it didn't mean the obvious alternative. That he was here with his room mate, Jesse. She spotted Unicyle. Wasn't happy he was there. But it wasn't her place to kick him out, and Aubrey and Stacie weren't gonna be coming back most like. So she let it lie. No cause for drama. No point. Pick your battles, Beale.

When had the Bella party became an a cappella party?

She found Fat Amy cuddled up to Bumper and she put Fat Amy and everything together. It was always Fat Amy's doing. Even when it wasn't, she got the blame. Not that this was cause for blame. More the merrier. Party on! as Amy had stated earlier, yeah party-

Then she saw Jesse coming out the kitchen.

Then she saw Beca.

In the corner.

Then she saw Jesse. And where he was headed.

Drinks in his hands, as he danced and bobbed his way to the corner.

Beca's corner.

Beca.

Her Beca.

No.

She had no claim on Beca, no right. Right?

Now there was cause for blame. Pick your battles, Beale. She repeated. Let's just see what happens.

Chloe froze.

Jealousy.

How did other people handle this emotion?

She'd never felt possessive over someone before. Well maybe a bit, if she'd admit to how she was with Lana and trying to get her to come out so they could be public and just another normal couple, but Chloe wouldn't admit to that. Too big of a character flaw in herself to stop and dwell on.

She tried to stand and watch and see how it played out but she felt the anger build inside her. Didn't know what to do with it. Didn't know if she could control it so she turned tail.

She went to the kitchen.

She needed space.

Away from Beca. Away from Jesse.

Chloe never needed space. But she did.

Now.

Beca was unfamiliar territory.

Beca watched as Chloe saw her. Saw Jesse. Stopped in her tracks. Then made a bee line. Away from her.

Then Jesse was in front of her. All Beca could see.

"Hey Bec, drink?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Umm..."

"Yeah?" Jesse looked at her with those big brown eyes, that he just happened to look at her with like all the time. A sort of sorry look in them. She guessed she liked it. Liked them. Could grow to like them? She honestly hadn't given them much thought. But the silence and awkwardness she was feeing gave her pause. Maybe she should give him a thought. So she tried. Honestly she did, she looked up into his face and all that came to mind was he wasn't Chloe.

That damn red head.

"Umm..." She repeated. She looked at the drink being offered. Just to try and focus. On anything other than his face, his eyes. Just focus. Because she'd already drank way too much and it was literally getting hard to focus on anything other than Chloe. Heck wasn't it always. Beca didn't know Fat Amy was going to invite everyone. Beca didn't know Jesse was gonna turn up. Or drive Chloe away from her. The last time this happened that first night the two of them had went for drinks at the bar it had taken days for them to find their natural rhythm together again. And she took it cause she'd been to blame then. Like Chloe had deserved it. Singing that super gay song clearly at her but it was still harsh of her to use Jesse to get to Chloe like that. Maybe. Beca doesn't really know cause she likes jealous Chloe but she knows it's wrong to try and provoke that emotion from her. She still can enjoy it though right? And it wasn't until Chloe had helped her with some choreography during a Bella rehearsal that she felt them slipping back into a playful rapport. Yeah she liked that more. Those, literal few days, without attention from Chloe. No texts reminding her about something Bella related, or a funny gif or meme she'd found that she knew Beca would also find amusing had pained her. More than she care to admit. Even to herself. She had missed Chloe. She sort of always does even when Beca is with her she misses her, wishing when they are together that they were together together. And tonight they had fully segued back into their own flirtatious back and forth. The leading somewhere back and forth. She hopes. Or what she hopes was a bit of flirtation going on at least. At the very least. God does she hope. It wasn't like she came to the Bella party expecting anything. Nothing she'd admit to. Nothing she couldn't stop thinking about. Certainly not sneaking off, giggling, drunk, hand in hand with Chloe and- "Umm... No..." She held her hand up in front of the drink Jesse offered her. "Thanks."

And walked away from him.

And walked towards her.

They'd been really clicking. Her and Chloe. She'd really been feeling like tonight's the night, Mitchell, with each drink, each song they'd danced to, laughed along with each other, every little touch, every look, it had all been heading somewhere. Inevitable. Chloe had a way of drawing emotions out of her, where she usually tried to keep them locked away or pretend like she didn't feel at all, Chloe stirred emotions inside her and made her want to let them lose. She had been letting lose with Chloe tonight. Beca had been enjoying dancing, something she never did before she met Chloe.

Never.

Chloe though. Beca didn't have the words.

Just Chloe.

Chloe wasn't changing her, no not that, Chloe made her grow into who she had always been hiding. So yeah just dancing with Chloe wasn't just dancing. It felt important.

Together. Stupidly. Seriously. Just together.

Making their own little dance moves together, their own little sequences that made only them laugh felt most important. Beca couldn't pin point why. Not now. Too many drinks to process. Maybe. Maybe having a connection that she had literally never felt with anyone before made the small things important. Again Beca was certainly not thinking about this.

Fast songs. Silly songs. Slow songs.

Beca let her hands wander, her mind wander to where all this could go, her hips sway up against Chloe's, her heart pound in her chest so hard that she thought Chloe could see the vein in her neck beat.

It was Chloe that brought out her confident side. Chloe's own hands gently holding Becas hands as they danced. Chloe's own hands making their way to Beca's hips that gave her assurance that it was all good. Life can be fun. Enjoy yourself Beca. Like who would even notice. It wasn't something that would get back to her father. Not this time. They were in the comfort of the Bella house. And she did feel comfortable there. Surrounded by the other women. She didn't feel foreign eyes on her like she did when they were in public.

Beca felt safe.

The thought of that made her smile, small but it was there in the shine of her eyes. Chloe noticed, and wondered what was on Becas mind. Was it the same as hers?

Everyone was dancing with each other. Stacie and Aubrey danced together far more provocatively than she and Chloe did. Heck, Fat Amy danced far more closely with literally everyone than she and Chloe did. So her and Chloe dancing together? Nobody batted an eye lid. Nobody noticed. Freedom.

Then Aubrey had called an impromptu meeting of sorts, fucked it all up for her, and now the party guests had expanded to include the other groups, and some people she didn't even recognise and she felt herself retreating. Felt her confidence disappear. And any semblance of it was leaving her as Chloe left.

Beca grasped at the final straws of confidence and followed Chloe through to the kitchen.

"Hey." was all Beca could manage. Any words she really wanted to say she suddenly knew she couldn't as she was surrounded by far too many people. Too many people that weren't Bellas, too many people she didn't know and certainly didn't trust to hear anything she wanted to say to Chloe.

Chloe nodded. Looked at Beca, briefly their eyes met, then around. For an escape. Chloe swayed to the loud music that played throughout the house, trying to zen out, just breathe. She found herself blocked in by people. Chloe had never felt suffocated by people. Her eyes reconnected with Beca. Beca's hadn't left Chloe's face. Chloe felt them on her. Chloe couldn't quite read Beca in that moment. Was confident, cocky Beca still in attendance?

Then it hit Chloe. Beca had followed her. Beca was with her. Beca was making a leap as she felt Beca's eyes still focused solely on her. This was confident Beca with her. Right?

One way to find out.

Chloe sipped her drink, lent over, past Beca, into Beca and placed her drink down on the counter behind her. She trailed her hand back over Beca's shoulder as she straightened back up, a little, her hips swaying smoothly to the music. She felt the rock beat through her. This had to be, yeah it definitely was one of Stacie's songs. Her own confidence came back, she felt the jealousy slipping away as Beca's dark eyes reassured her. She was in her house. Surrounded by her friends. With the woman she liked. She picked up where the song was as she realised what it was and sang a little.

"...she's looking good, and the lady knows its understood. Strutter." She left her hand on Beca's shoulder. Testing. Beca smiled. Bit the corner of her own lip, their eyes locked. Beca released her lip and smiled. Wide. Teeth showing. Fucking smiled at her. No bullshit smirk, no cocky grin, just a genuine beam of happiness. Happiness directed straight at Chloe. "I know a thing or two about her," Then one of Beca's hands was on her waist. Beca needed to hear Chloe's voice. It did unspeakable things to her. Things she found it hard to be around Chloe and not want to tell her. Show her. "I know she'll only make you cry." Pulling. She pulled Chloe in as Chloe's own hand on Beca's shoulder slid so her forearm rested on her.

Close.

Flush.

Bodies against one another. Moving to their own rhythm. Together. People danced faster around them. Or time had slowed down in their own little bubble as the track faded out and all Chloe heard was her own breathing and Beca's breathing. Their breathing. In sync. Together.

Chloe's fingers danced over her cell phone screen and the next song rang out throughout the blue tooth speakers in the house. Maybe it was a little on the nose? Maybe Chloe had only been listening to Childish Gambino since Beca had sang that song of his at the bar? And maybe the song that she was about to dance with Beca had become one of her jams, just maybe, she'd thought about Beca whilst listening to his songs once or several times. And had let her mind and hands wander as she had tried to imagine Beca singing his songs. To her. For her. Like at the bar that night. And each time she'd came close, so shudderingly close, she saw Beca with Jesse dancing up on her, behind her, and she had came with a tumbling of anger, jealousy and frustration.

Lily danced past them, hands in the air. Her mouth moving but they didn't hear anything until she shouted, which was normal volume in their ears. But a Lily shout.

"That's my jam! All these pussy niggas round here don't matter, all I know is I wanna dance with ya, move in closer before I'm gonna kiss ya," Donald followed Lily. "Know that you know me, don't act stupid, you seem different." Lily and Donald danced next to Beca and Chloe. The song slower than the last. They both turned and smiled at the couple next to them. Raised their eyebrows at the same time and looked back to one another, smiled a little, rolled their eyes playfully at their synchronized reactions. Then the song, the beat was washing over them. They felt the song in their hips. In each others hips. Beating in their chests. Tingling at their fingers. Together.

Chloe turned her back against Beca, bodies still flush. Close. Resting her head back against the side of Beca's head. She felt a stutter in Beca's breath on her cheek. A stutter that matched her own. She felt Beca slowly smile against her cheek. A smile that matched her own.

The hand on Chloe's waist snaked round and held her. Moved with her. Pressed. Chloe's stomach below Beca's touch was doing some intricate gymnastics. Feeling Beca behind her seeped away any ounce of the jealousy she felt before that was still niggling. Any doubt. Gone. Beca was with her. She'd followed her. Wanted to continue their night together. Even after Jesse had turned up.

"Baby girl, you know what I want," Beca couldn't help singing the words. Low. Not even sure if Chloe could hear her above the volume of the actual speakers around the house. Not even sure if that mattered. All that mattered was that she felt the words. Felt Chloe dancing with her. "Let me do it to ya, do it to ya..." Chloe heard. There was something undeniably sexy that happened to Beca's voice when she sang. Her speaking voice was cute, but her singing voice was just pure sex to Chloe's ears. Chloe closed her eyes feeling Beca's body against her, all the right parts. Moving against, moving with her. Chloe heard nothing but Beca's breath against her ear, singing, for her. To her. Low. Just her. "let me do you like..."

* * *

 

Aubrey watched Stacie through the reflection in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. Stacie pealed her panties off, leaving them with the rest of her outfit on the floor as her eyes never left Aubrey.

Stacie bent, fetching her phone of the back pocket of her jeans. A few finger touches later and her phone was re-connected to the bluetooth speakers of the house, and she picked her song.

Aubrey quickly finished up, not being able to survive without Stacie's touch any longer, swilled with mouthwash as she reached out for Stacie's hand behind her. Stacie took it, bringing them together. Stacies front to Aubrey's back. And snaked her hands around Aubrey's waist. Lacing them together over her stomach. She rested her chin on Aubrey's shoulder.

"I've been thinking bout," Stacie whispered the words with the song. "thinking about..."

A Kiss. Slow. Her eyes meeting Aubrey's looking back at her through the mirror. She kissed up the side of Aubreys neck, watching her, loving seeing the reaction her lips, a slight flick of her tongue, had on Aubrey, as Aubrey's eyes struggled to focus on hers. Struggled and failed as she felt Stacie's hands pushing on her stomach, pushing her back into Stacie. And feeling Stacie's naked form behind her.

"My way," Stacie continued, her voice slightly louder, tone firmer. "your way, anything goes..."

Stacie took Aubrey's ear between her teeth, tugged.

"Open." Stacie spoke. Her tone serious. As sucked on the shell of Aubrey's ear. "My way," Her voice cracked with desire as she continued to sing to Aubrey. "Your way, anything goes..."

Aubrey struggled to stop her eyes rolling back, struggled to stop herself from turning around and pushing Stacie back against the counter top.

"I want you to watch..." Stacie whispered into her ear. One of Aubrey's hands clasped over Stacie's and pushed them downward. "And I can see what you want." Stacie let her hands be led. "Panties round your knees..." Stacie sang louder than before as she slipped Aubrey's panties down. But not off. Let her hand trail back up the insides of Aubrey's thighs. Close. So close. Aubrey's hips rolled. Stacie loved the feeling of Aubrey's toned thighs tensing against her palm. How Aubrey's ass felt pushing back into her.

Stacie freed her hands from Aubrey's grip as she moved them up Aubrey's arms. Aubrey watched. Intent. A coy smile. Yeah. Fuck yeah she wanted. Needed. Stacie's hands. Fingers. But she surrendered herself to Stacie's pace.

"...with a push and a squeeze..." Stacie continued to whisper the song into Aubrey's skin as she placed kisses across her shoulders. "...Tied up, tied down..."

They mumbled together, "Up against the wall..."

* * *

 

"They're fucking." That words were whispered into Beca's ear over Chloe's shoulder as they danced. Beca wasn't even sure Chloe had said it. Had she? Chloe turned, body as close as before to Beca. Beca's hands slid around to Chloe's lower back. "This is undeniably Stacie's song."

So Chloe had said it. Beca's mouth dry.

"What?" She gulped and her hands on Chloe stilled. Afraid if she moved them Chloe would leave. Why would she? No, afraid that this was all too much and she would leave.

"This is one of their lady jams." Chloe smiled at her and turned back around. "You get to," She said louder over her shoulder. "Know these things when you live with someone." The beat of the song got faster and so did Chloe's dancing. "I wonder if Kimmy Jin knows yours." Her ass pushed into Beca and Beca felt the rush. Her heart pounded. Pumping blood downwards. Her head light.

"Oh..." Is all Beca could manage. All she could think of was spinning Chloe back around and kissing her. She hadn't really stopped thinking about kissing Chloe all night. If she was honest. Which right now was at the front of her psyche, so she pushed it down, back. The thought pushed back just as hard. Just kiss her. Kiss. Her. Mitchell.

Chloe had her hands over Beca's but moved them, off but not wanting to be away. Her head down, feeling the beat, her arms above her head. Chloe felt loose and free with Beca there holding her. Chloe's hair swaying as she felt the music. Beca watched her. Her own body moving, speeding up with the beat of the song. Beca's heart pounding, wanting, needing. Beca watched as Chloe's fingers ran through her own hair, exposing her neck. She could just lean in and inhale, let her lips linger, a kiss. Chloe glanced behind her, the smile pulling at her lips ran up into her eyes. Twinkled. Beca moved her hands to Chloe's hips for fear she would let them wander down. This was really testing her resolve. Her patience. She pulled Chloe closer, felt Chloe's surprise in the little gasp she made.

* * *

 

Stacie slid Aubrey's bra straps down. Followed the movement of her hands with the lips, kissing down her shoulders. Stacie pulled on Aubrey's shoulder, turning her to face her. Aubrey's back, cold, against the counter top. She felt safe. Aubrey shuddered at the feeling of feeling safe. Smiled. She only felt this safe with one other person, with Chloe.

Stacie's fingers un-clasped her bra, it landed by their feet. Her fingers found their way back up the muscles of Aubrey's stomach, fingers danced on the under side of her breast. Over. A squeeze.

Aubrey squealed as Stacie lifted her up onto the counter. Her legs opened to let Stacie in. Stacie consumed Aubrey then. Her mouth where her hands had been, her hands roaming down to where her mouth would soon be.

* * *

 

Beca really fucking liked that gasp. Wondered what other noises she could pull from Chloe.

Chloe's arms lowered, came to rest on top of Beca's. Ran them up Beca's arms. Feeling goosebumps.

Beca rested her chin on Chloe's shoulder. She heard Chloe exhale. Slow. But stuttered. A gulp.

Beca let go. Hands unclasped and stumbled a little back. Chloe was free. Chloe was free and picked up dancing to the fast guitar and the beat of the drums in her hips. Everyone around Beca appeared again. Rushed into Beca's vision. She gulped again feeling the eyes. Feeling the air around her disappear. She could see everyone then. Lily bouncing to the beat. Donald with his hands in the air, rock pout on his face as he head banged. People she didn't know. People she did. A sway of blonde hair, dark hair as Ashley and Jessica danced, a couple of Trebles around them. Some people she guessed had been invited from people's classes cause she hadn't seen them around the bar as part of the a cappella groups. There was way more people than there even was before. Wasn't there? She reached for a drink. It was Chloe's and she took a long big gulp. Chloe danced with her back to her.

Chloe turned, not feeling Beca's body at her back any more. She smiled, expecting a smile in return. Expectations shattered. Beca's eyes were dark but serious. She almost stopped dancing, but didn't want to ruin what they had going, so danced towards Beca. Closed the space. Wanting to garner a smile from Beca.

Kitchen counter behind her back, Beca felt trapped.

"Wanna go upstairs?"

* * *

 

Aubrey scooched back, a little, into the corner, knocking over toiletries. Her legs bending up, feet flat on the counter. It was cold. But Stacie was hot. So she didn't care. Knew her house was full of her friends, their friends but felt safe in the embrace of Stacie. Up here. Up out the way of the party below.

Aubrey gripped and threaded her fingers through Stacie's hair as Stacie's tongue, her lips worked at her breasts. Aubrey found it difficult to breathe. In the best way.

Stacie poured her love for Aubrey into every touch, every kiss, loving how easy it was for the two of them. One thing in her life she didn't have to really think about. Aubreys stomach twitched under her lips, her tongue as she trailed wet kisses down. Down. She was falling for Aubrey and let herself. Enjoying the view on the way down, not worrying if she would land safely. Aubrey had her. She would break the fall.

* * *

 

Beca took her hand.

"Awes."Chloe said with a smile. A small, trying to contain her own happiness, smile. She didn't want to make it look too obvious, cause she knew where they were going and what was going to happen, she knew Beca wouldn't want everyone else to know. She'd seen that look before.

Anything to get out of the cramped space. Chloe's hand slipped perfectly in hers. She liked how it fit. Felt Chloe's thumb stroke her wrist. Hoped Chloe couldn't feel her pulse. Racing.

Chloe's own pulse raced. She was happy where they were, was more than happy where it was going, saw where their night was heading. She was going to make a move there when they had been dancing but she felt Beca's nervousness slipping in. She knew that was the wrong move. Wrong place. It was hard to just not be her sometimes. Chloe wanted someone who wanted to shout from the rooftops that they were together. But she was striking out with Beca in that regard. So she had suggested going somewhere more private. Hoping that would ease the tension she was feeling coming off Beca. It had always worked with Lana. Chloe would get too close in public and Lana would brush her off but as soon as they were alone, Lana would be all over her. And she had liked it. Had let Lana get away with it being like that for too long. She didn't want it to be that way with Beca, but in that moment she panicked.

Chloe smiled. Over her shoulder and caught Beca's gaze. Downcast. But it travelled up Chloe's body and lingered at the edge of the bright pool of Chloe's eyes, wanting to dip a toe in and look, really look and afraid that if she did, Beca would drown.

Chloe led them through the crowd as she sang quietly along to Stacies music, that pumped and pounded through all the speakers at the party.

"Because I can turn on anyone, just like I've turned on you..."

Beca's hand slipped from Chloe's as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Slipped across her own wrist and she rubbed, trying to comfort herself.

"I-I should, umm, I should go."

Chloe turned then, a lost look in her eyes, if only Beca would look and see the hurt. But Beca couldn't. If Beca looked up into Chloe's eyes she didn't know if she could stop herself taking Chloe's head in between her hands, pulling her close, no not pulling, Beca's pretty sure Chloe wouldn't need pulling in, no, stopping Chloe falling into her as they would kiss. And kiss. And kiss.

Beca's not sure if she wants to stop herself.

And kiss until she doesn't care what people think. Until she just doesn't care about anything. And all is right with the world. But that's not how life for her works.

"If that's what you want."

* * *

 

Stacie ran her fingers through Aubrey's wet hair, lathered, the soap dripping down her hands, her wrists, suds down her arms. Aubrey let out a moan that tumbled into another moan and another.

Stacie motioned for Aubrey to place her head back under the cascade of water, eyes closed she did. Stacie came round to her front. Kissing her neck, tasting the shower gel she had massaged into Aubrey's skin. Aubrey lowered her head, opening her eyes as she captured Stacie's lips.

The water ran down the back of Aubrey as she pushed forward, pushed Stacie back into the sliding glass door of the shower. She loved the sound, the feeling, of Stacie's giggle as she pushed her leg between hers, their lips never off each other.

"Tell me..." Aubrey mumbled into their kiss, as Stacie's lips parted in a gasp, Aubrey moved her mouth along Stacie's jaw up to her ear, a small tug. "...what you want."

* * *

 

"No." Beca mumbled. Chloe cocked her head, confusion trickling into her features.

"Then stay?" Chloe wanted to put the words back into her mouth. She didn't ever want to force Beca into anything. To press her. But she did want her. Wanted to escape the party with her and- well she was pushing those thoughts away at the moment Beca said she was going to go.

"I want..." You the voice in Becas head shouted. "But I, umm, yeah, I should go."

Beca bumped past Chloe. She felt the tingle of where Chloe's shoulder had touched hers and she wanted to step back to her, grab those shoulders, let her hands linger on Chloe's arms, fuck Chloe's arms, Becas mind went blank. For a few very long seconds as she pictured Chloe during their last Bella rehearsal, glistening with perspiration as Aubrey had them running laps around the auditorium, and how for one moment of weakness Beca had let herself picture the then panting Chloe, as she bent over in front of her, hands on her knees, regaining her breath, as Chloe looked up at Beca as Beca gulped down water, and pictured Chloe between her legs. Pictured those bright eyes, hands wandering expertly up over Becas stomach, ribs, and Beca would bring Chloe up to lie on top of her, no beside her, no under her, no just anything as long as they were together and Beca could kiss down Chloe's shoulders, her biceps, fuck Chloe's biceps. Almost blank. All she could think about was how hot Chloe looked right there and then, and how it should be so easy. To kiss. To kiss and kiss until they couldn't breathe. Until nothing else mattered.

What would Chloe's lips feel like? She tried to make her mind go back to blank but couldn't. Would she take control of the kiss, the pace. Fast? Swallowing each other's moans, would Chloe moan? Gasp? Like where would she put her hands, where would Beca put hers? She'd pictured them kissing since the day they met and every time it was different. Every time her stomach sank because deep down she knew it would never happen.

Chloe wanted to run after her, to stop, and grasp at Beca, to turn her against her like they had been before. Turn. And find Beca's lips. Block the rest of the party out, and get lost in Beca.

But she couldn't.

As much as Beca had pushed her buttons, wound her tight, ready to spring free at Becas touch she just wouldn't do that to her. Wouldn't pounce like the bouncy kitten she knew she was. Had to keep herself in check. Which had been proving difficult. But just because she personally didn't really have boundaries didn't mean she didn't respect Becas.

She watched as Beca got engulfed by her friends, then she smiled. Big. Fake. And danced. The smile hurt, she'd never been good at hiding sadness. That had drove most people away when she cried all the time when she had lost her mother and sister. But with Aubrey by her side, she had learnt to cope. Aubrey had helped her more than she knew. Bree was her constant. Positive thinking. Project happiness and you'll feel happy. So she smiled and danced the night away.

* * *

 

Stacie walked with Aubrey's legs wrapped tight around her waist, out the bathroom. Out their bathroom. She lay Aubrey down on their bed.

Wet.

Aubrey panted. Aftershocks hitting her with every small touch of Stacie, by Stacie as Stacie climbed up her. Predatory. On all fours. Aubrey's tongue darted out, licked and tasted Stacie's tongue still on her own. Her lips. The sweet sugary drinks.

If all parties would go like this, her one little mishap dismissed, then she'd have them more often. Aubrey had saw how Chloe and Beca were getting along at the party, she didn't like it, but she liked the smile on Chloe's face.

She didn't think she had much of anything to worry about. Sure Beca's outward appearance sort of screamed gay but Aubrey took it as some defence mechanism. She didn't care what Beca was hiding from or protecting the world from within herself as long as it didn't hurt Chloe. She was pretty sure Beca was still with that Treble. So yeah she didn't like Chloe's interest in Beca but she didn't think it would amount to anything.

Stacie straddled her chest, looked down at her curiously.

"You seem checked out."

Aubrey was, she'd been thinking about Chloe and her body was tingling and twitching from Stacie.

"Worn out... by you."

"Oh come on, I know you've got more stamina than that." Aubrey smiled up at that and made a move to toss Stacie to the side of her, but Stacie saw the move coming. Saw the move formulate in Aubrey's eyes, the curl of her mouth before Aubrey herself even realised what she was thinking. Stacie placed her weight down on Aubrey, pinned her to the bed. Aubrey's legs came up, and Stacie lent back on them. "I suppose if you are that worn out you could always just lie back..." Stacie opened her legs then. Wider, feet flat beside Aubreys head. Stacie trailed her hands down herself, let her head fall back, hair swishing against Aubrey's knees. She felt Aubrey's legs tense along her spine. Stacie's hand massaged at her own breast. She moaned, letting her eyes close.

"Stace..." Aubrey barely managed to get her name out as it suffocated her on the way out her lips, a moan.

Stacie's finger played at the corner of her own mouth. Slipping in. Pretending like it was Aubrey's tongue. She gasped. Heard Aubrey gasp. And willed her eyes to stay closed as she trailed the wet digit down between her breasts, down her stomach where she twitched at her own light touch, stomach flipping as she pictured in her minds eye Aubrey staring up at her until she stopped just above her clit. Stacie opened her eyes then, just as she moved her finger lower.

Pressed.

Hard.

She gasped. But her teeth stayed firmly together to try, barely doing so, to keep in Aubreys name as a moan deep in her throat. Her eyes fixed on Aubrey's. Aubrey's eyes fixed on Stacie's hand.

"And watch."


	12. Chapter 12

Beca stood nervous, laptop bag slung across her, a cup holder full of caffeinated beverages outside the Bella house. She looked up at the big door. The one she had practically ran through the night before.

Still.

So deadly still, because almost every fibre of her being wanted to, was screaming at her with harsh acidity in her limbs to turn and leave and if she even just shuffled on the spot, like she could feel her legs begging, aching to do, she would flee. So yeah she stood there, outside, still, for like a creepy amount of time. Gingerly, a roll of her eyes, she knocked.

Nothing.

Another slightly louder knock and the feeling like she was waiting for a very long time, most likely she knew she wasn't but the beat of her heart was way too loud in her ears that time passed slow as she tried to concentrate on ignoring her pounding chest and focused on the time. The door opened. It opened to two bright smiles. Smiles betrayed by their eyes. Groggy, blood shot, hair ruffled. Jessica and Ashley. But still smiles. Genuine.

They took the coffee's as they welcomed Beca into their house.

"Hmmm try this one."

"What is it?"

"Dunno but it's sweet, so yeah its nice."

"Hmmm yeah that's lovely."

"How about this?"

"Nope too bitter, Aubrey can have that one."

Beca followed them as they tasted the coffee's and settled on sharing the caramel latte. Beca had literally no clue what any of them drank so got a bit of everything. She watched with amusement. A small shake of her head. Playful.

It took a while, with the nursing of everyone's hangovers but with the addition of the coffee's Beca had brought and Jessica and Ashley seemingly already having started making breakfast before Beca had arrived, most of them congregated happily in the kitchen. A bit of a scuffle to be around the laptop.

"I, umm, thought about what Aubrey said last night and yeah just, umm, give this a listen." Beca pressed play. A sharp in take of breath. Now or never.

Beca's eyes stayed firmly on her laptop screen. Too nervous to look, to see their reactions.

"Wow."

Beca looked across, a small glance, to CR. She found CR with her brows raised, impressed.

"No, I mean... what?" A smug little smirk. Beca didn't remotely feel smug, but she knew she pulled off the look. It hid how terrified she really was.

"Really Mitchell, that's... you did this?" Cynthia continued.

"It's nothing really."

"Yeah, I'm with Cynthia," Stacie smiled. Bright. She couldn't believe it had happened this fast. "When did you even have the time to do this?" Beca shrugged in response.

Like it was no big deal.

But she knew it was.

Aubrey was stubborn. So for her to have reached out like that, well yeah, Beca kinda admired how much that had taken out of her. So she was willing to give a little back. Only a little though, and yeah maybe that would score her points with Chloe. Points she may need after the way it had ended the previous night. She was hoping upon hope it wouldn't be weird, but she was feeling awkward and weird enough for more than one person so yeah it was probably really going to be weird.

Not that she knew. Yet. Because there was no Chloe. Yet.

She had left the party last night and worked on the mix all through the night up until she woke an hour ago, laptop on, headphones round her head. Askew. And she had hit play, sluggishly, and listened to her own mix. Liked it. Not loved it. It was all right, a good attempt, not great or spectacular but an attempt, and she had swelled with the need to see Chloe again and hello excuse. Half of her, no not half, a third, maybe felt like she should never have left in the first place. That she should have stayed last night, and just took a chance. The odds on her and Chloe were damn good. Right? Everything she had felt and had let loose within herself and then ran from she had put into the mix. Too much. Too personal. So one quick tinker, a few edits before she had headed over, back to where she belonged. She didn't really belong anywhere. But this was becoming close. A few more generic choices she figured Aubrey would like and she'd saved it.

"Just whapped it together. It needs a lot of work but, umm, yeah it's something new, well you know what I mean..."

"Yeah totally...it's got elements that are old enough for Aub's taste," Aubrey rolled her eyes, her small smile gave away her playfulness "but it's got something new, different, a really cool sound."

"Umm, it needs a lot of work but I... well you reached out to us last night," Beca rubbed the back of her neck, eyes flickering over each woman there, and the floor. "And I umm, yeah, that meant a lot," Beca's eyes followed Chloe as she joined the group. "So yeah this is me..." Beca told herslef to stop speaking because she could feel herself rambling and really needed to stop. "...helping..." Stop. "and yeah just...ummm" Stop. "that's it, I guess."

"Hmmm what did I miss?"

"Beca." Jessica and Ashley said in unison. "Just listen."

"Hmmm so that's why," Chloe lent over Beca, close, on purpose, and pressed play on the mix, taking it back to the beginning. "You left so early?"

"Uhh..." Beca's eyes tried to find Chloe's, Chloe's mostly avoided but she saw from the corner of her own the pleading look in Beca's. "Yeah." The word drawn out. Long. So much said with one word. Don't mention why I really left last night was begged, dripped into her tone. Into her eyes. Not said at all. She tried to keep the weirdness between them at bay. Was it? Weird?

"It's..." Chloe was nodding along to the beat. "It's damn good." Nope no weirdness. A little, but not a lot. She was too impressed with Beca turning up with this mix to poke at anything from the night before. Yeah Beca had ran from the potential of so much the previous night, but she had returned. To them. To her. With like an total awesome gift. "Bree? You like?"

"Yeah, I really," Her gaze moved from Stacie to Chloe then. "I really do."

"Drinks?" Jessica smiled at Ashley.

"Celebration tonight?" Ashley replied quickly. "Huh? Guys?" Practically bouncing on the spot.

"Yeah," She went to say one of their names, and still was not sure which was which, something she made a mental note to work on. "Good idea," Aubrey turned from her gaze on them to Chloe. "Great idea, you guys go out... have fun, call it mandatory bonding, me and Chloe will stay here and work on the mix," Then her eyes moved over to Beca. Beca looked a little surprised, maybe happy, yeah Aubrey saw a shine in those eyes and she for a small moment Aubrey softened to the annoying little hobbit, "Becky," Yeah Aubrey said it on purpose, hoping Beca didn't like that reiteration of her name. Aubrey was right, she saw a shift in Beca's eyes and a slight clench of her jaw. "You should stay in with us, you know how to use this program so..."

"Sure," A slow blink. Beca strained to stop herself biting at Aubrey because yeah she hated, really fucking detested being called Becky. "Love to."

"Awes!" Chloe did a little clap beside her.

"Awes." Aubrey repeated. Clipped.

"Awes." Beca muttered in a tone that dripped sarcasm.

* * *

 

Aubrey watched from the door way, the green liquid from her #1 cup warming her hands, as Stacie fixed her already perfect hair, looking appreciatively at her own reflection. And so she should. Aubrey mused. Aubrey soaked up this small moment between Stacie and her own self. Aubrey found it hard to breathe, as her eyes roamed over her girlfriends body. A small smile that pulled to grow wider but she kept it tight lipped more in astonishment that she had found someone so fucking perfect as Stacie Conrad.

Stacie, who made her a better person. She knew she was a pain in the ass. But yeah so what. How she was raised. Perfection. Nothing less. But Stacie was showing her a different way to achieve greatness. Not pushing her, or forcing her to change, but drawing out the better side of her. The facet that was always there. She supposed. Maybe. Whatever. It was there now. Because of Stacie.

"You sure you don't want me to stay and help?"

Aubrey was caught, her eyes jumped from Stacie's calves that were just, fuck, popping and toned and looking so fucking good and up to where Stacie's smirk, given and reserved for her only, over her shoulder made Aubrey walk towards her.

Fast.

She placed her tea down beside them. Her hands still felt clammy, the tea? Perhaps, or how she still felt nervous around Stacie somewhat. Maybe.

She was so at ease with her, felt like she could really just be herself with her, but also like she didn't know her at all and wanted to know every little detail about her, and how much she did made her nervous. Put her on the back foot a little sometimes. Out of control. Maybe she liked that a little. A lot. The needing. The wanting.

Needing her. Wanting her.

Aubrey notes that there's a difference but she does need her, and even if she didn't its her she wants. Only. No matter how many times Uni had been facebooking her to hook up or go out or sending dick picks again, not that she would tell Stacie. It's not like she's hiding it, it just isn't worth bringing up. He means nothing to her now. He wasn't even worth blocking. He wasn't worth anything to her. Stacie was fast becoming her everything.

"No," Aubrey placed a small kiss on Stacie's lips. Stacie turned back to the mirror, as Aubrey slid her arms around her waist, head leaning against her bare shoulder. A light kiss. "Thank you for asking," Aubrey spoke to Stacie's reflection as Stacie put ear rings in, motioned to Aubrey to give an opinion on them, with Aubrey's slight nod, Stacie smiled widely in return. "but since you're asking and like have spent an hour getting ready to go out, and look so..." Aubrey sighed, knowing any word she said didn't sum up Stacie. "I know that means you really want to go out." Another small kiss to Stacies shoulder. Stacie relaxed into her arms, a smile. "Nothing like asking me to go out instead though."

"I know how much this means to you," their eyes met in the mirror and Aubrey's, although looked disappointed that she wasn't going out with them, she smiled, a sadness in it, but Stacie was right. If they wanted to kick ass at the semi's they really had to put work in. "...so," Stacie turned "...nope." And it was her turn to place a small kiss on Aubrey's waiting lips. "Plus you know I prefer you sober." Another light kiss, that Aubrey tried to deepen, then another light kiss that Stacie allowed Aubrey to deepen, allowed Aubrey to slip hers over and round and over and under hers over and over until the last thing that was on her mind was heading out.

"I think you should let Beca come out with us instead." Stacie spoke slow, a hopeful grin on her face. Aubrey melted and needed to kiss her again instead of actually replying. She nodded and hummed an affirmative into Stacie's lips. Aubrey's brows knitted as she tried to and failed, to keep in a moan. "She already put in so much work last night."

"I agree."

"You do?" Stacie looked disappointed. "I mean yeah," Bolder now in tone. "Of course you agree." Aubrey cocked her head at Stacie. Questioningly. "I was hoping you'd take some more convincing though." Stacie waggled her eye brows playfully.

"Then no she can't go." Aubrey said dead fucking seriously. "Not until..." She took Stacie's hand, brought it straight to where her dress met her thigh, pushed Stacies hand underneath, up, not that it needed pushing, but Stacie liked the feeling of Aubrey taking charge, showing her what she wanted. "You..." Aubrey gasped, her chest rising and falling as she lent in and kissed Stacie. Any words Aubrey was about to say were swallowed by Stacies mouth as she pushed Stacie's hand up her inner thigh.

"Not until I-" Aubrey swallowed Stacies question, tongues playfully battled as Stacie traced the rest of her question into Aubrey's mouth until all that filled their ears was the sweet sound of each others strangled moans.

* * *

 

"I guess the dictators not joining us anytime soon?" Beca put her feet up, curled underneath her, the laptop to the side of her, tired after a shift at the station but she wasn't gonna give up a chance to spend time with Chloe, even if it had meant spending time with Aubrey too.

"Guess n-Hey!" Chloe shot a look over at her, peeking out from behind the refrigerator. Yeah she liked when Beca stood up to Aubrey, when Bree deserved it, but to just be saying shit about her behind her back was uncalled for. She wasn't playing. "Stop that Dictator stuff." Lips pursed as she tried to gauge Beca's reaction. Beca didn't really have one, just shrugged. Chloe's hands came round the door too, as she waved two bottled at Beca. Beca shrugged again. Chloe took that as a yes and smiled, trying to get back the ease they had before she had maybe sort of snapped a little as she came back over to the couch. "Show me how to work this program..."

"Umm yeah I-"

"-while we wait for Bree?"

"Umm, sure," A smile passed between them. "Sure, I'll give it a go."

She felt Chloe's eyes on her as she worked. Eyes on her hands, her fingers as she used the keyboard and tried to go through the basics of the program. They sat in relative silence. Beca enjoying it, after having Jesse talking her ear off the entire night at the station. She relaxed as Chloe curled into her side, that playful kitten part of Chloe appearing again. Beca really fucking liked it. Really fucking liked how they could sit in relative silence, and ease and feel so tense and so on edge but somehow it was so relaxing.

"Is this?" Chloe's slowly rested her hand on Beca.

"Umm..." Chloe felt Beca's leg tense under her touch. Had she went too far? Beca was so into her at the party, but had fled, but it was just the two of them. Now. Beca seemed to be at ease when it was just them.

"Ok?" A nod off of Beca in response. Beca's mind went blank and she had no clue what she had currently been trying to get Chloe to get a grasp of since Chloe literally had a grasp of her thigh.

"You wanna, umm, I'll just..." Her fingers moved and she saved the current mix. "Do that and here..." She opened a new, clean file. "You wanna go?"

"Totally."

Beca rested the laptop on Chloe's knees.

"Open that there," Beca pointed on the screen. "Yeah and just scroll through my music, find something you wanna work on and it'll drop straight in there as the main track."

"Cool." Chloe scrolled, and Beca winced, as Chloe scrolled past some of her own mixes, she hoped Chloe hadn't picked them out as there was a lot of music so it would be easy to miss a lot when scrolling, but tracks that she had mixed jumped out off the screen at Beca. 'That Damn Red Head' and 'CB1' through 'CB4' were leaping out the screen at her. Beca made a mental note to move them to a folder. A hidden folder. A folder just for mixes that Chloe inspired in her. Or maybe she could stop doing the mixes, but nights at the radio station were long and boring so she'd work on them there. Purely for fun. Fun? It was painful but she had to get her passion for the damn red head out somehow. "Show me how to..." Chloe saw Beca's panicked expression out the corner of her eye. She tried to hide her smile. Maybe succeeded but her tone gave it away. "Bec you ok?"

"Yeah," A long stuttered breath. "Great." She moved her fingers over the track Chloe had selected, over Chloe's fingers and clicked. "Let's hear what you've...Secret Smile. Nice if a little... Sappy?"

"Sappy? How so?"

"It's like Closing Time or Good Riddance being used at a Graduation. Some, umm, sense of like falseness."

"Its in your music library." Chloe moved her fingers, flexed them under Becas. Beca realised she still had hers on top of Chloe's and moved her hand off.

"You seem..." Chloe shifted her legs, a little away, a little off Beca. "Distracted."

"Umm." Beca instantly missed the contact.

"Sorry?"

"Don't be, here." She leant over and with a few keyboard strokes she dropped another track, she almost stopped herself choosing it but she just couldn't help it as she clicked on Sunshine by Childish Gambino. Beca thought it would work well with what Chloe had picked as the main track, and she'd used it plenty in her own mixes, just something happy, optimistic and what a beat. "Like this."

"Just that easy huh?"

"Nope just how I make it look." Beca chanced a click of her mouth, and a small wink, and was rewarded by a small laugh from Chloe. Beca couldn't help feeling warm, warm and tired but mostly warm from Chloe's presence. Beca slid some bars around and did some things with the program Chloe was utterly clueless about. "See when the drums kick in during Secret Smile, I'll layer in the bass of Sunshine."

Chloe smiled as their tracks, Secret Smile and Sunshine melded.

"Is this like your song for me Bec?"

Beca wasn't sure she had heard Chloe and let the answer linger between them. It wasn't until Chloe let out a high airy sigh that she knew Chloe was actually was waiting on a response.

"Does yours remind you of me?" Beca countered, looking up shly at Chloe, but in her head she thought she sounded bold.

"Nope," Chloe meant nothing bad by it, just being honest. "it's one of mine and Brees songs-" Chloe choked on her words, choked at the hurt in Becas face. Though Beca clearly tried to hide it. "Hey uh... you wanna save it and we can like watch a movie or something until Bree comes down?"

"Sure," Chloe chose to ignore the clipped tone. "I mean, umm, if you think we've got time for a movie." Chloe smiled at hearing the nervous sounding Beca return. She had chased away the bolder one that was rearing its head but at least the nervous one was nervous because of her and not sounding so hurt like she just had.

Chloe untangled herself from Beca as Beca took the laptop, saved it and put it down the side of the couch.

"Oh yeah, they'lll be a fair while. Say Anything?"

"Ummm huh what now?"

"The movie? You seen it?" Chloe returned with the DVD and bent over placing it in the tray. She looked slowly behind her expecting Becas eyes on her but Beca's were downcast. Chloe shrugged it off, made her way back to the couch, picking up a blanket from the other couch and draped it over them as she snuggled back down into Beca. Beca held in, for a smidge, a yawn that slowly escaped.

"Hmmmmmm nope."

"Good its one of my favs-"

"You have a lot of those?"

"Like you don't have a lot of fav songs I bet."

"Damn right I do." Beca stretched, Chloe smiled as the more playful tone returned to Beca's voice. Chloe took the opportunity to move to lie down on Beca's shoulder as Beca smirked, her arm having no where else to go but around Chloe. "Guess this is another first for me?" Chloe hummed in approval. "The ugh movie I mean."

"Totally."


	13. Chapter 13

Stacie made her way down the stairs of the Bella house, there was no light other than the glow of the television. She left Aubrey exhausted and sleeping, and after checking her numerous messages off her fellow Bellas, found out that the others had headed out without her. A quick message to Cynthia to say she was on her way and she was almost out the door, just grab her jacket, almost, switch off the television, almost, and then her eyes settled on Beca and Chloe.

Asleep.

Together.

Curled.

Cute.

This was just too precious. She reached over, put her phone down and picked up Chloe's cell phone, grabbed a quick snap of it, something about the moment made Stacie think, no, know, yeah know that Chloe would want to remember it.

It's not like she had actually vocalised that she thought there was something between Beca and Chloe, heck everyone else thought something was going on between Beca and Jesse but Stacie just knew they were all wrong. Stacie knew attraction. And she felt it in abundance between Beca and Chloe.

Not that she would tell everyone they were wrong, and she was most certainly right, it wasn't her place. Nor had she said anything to Beca or Chloe about her suspicions, she didn't want to meddle.

That wouldn't stop her cheering them on from the side lines though, right?

Right.

A blanket half on the floor. That wouldn't do. She bent over, quietly, moving it back over them, tucking them in a little and left them with a smile. And a warm feeling. Buzzing, tingling. Although come to think of it, that could still be the aftershocks of her own time with Aubrey.

* * *

 

Beca woke at the sound of the door closing. Stillness. Quiet. Her eyes fluttered open but she couldn't see anything, though she felt a weight across her. Straining her eyes to adjust. She was clueless as to where she was for a few long seconds. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness that hugged her. No not just darkness hugging her, but Chloe. Her eyes settled on the sleeping face of Chloe.

Chloe.

Dreaming, she just had to be.

She held her breath as she checked each part of her body to see just casually if she was really her and not having some out of body experience. She felt her heart pounding. Yep, that was certainly the sharp familiar pain of her own heart when she was around Chloe. But this wasn't just being around Chloe this was far worse. Far better. Beca delt the light weight of Chloe in her arms. Beca curled her fingers and felt soft hair between them, then warmth radiating through the tips and her thumbs.

This just couldn't, it, no, right? How did she, what, even was happening?

Chloe moved her head. Slightly. Down. And when she settled her head from Beca's shoulder onto her chest, Beca let out a breath. Beca stroked her fingers through Chloe's hair and danced them over the back of her neck, enjoying the small hum that emitted from deep within Chloe as she continued to sleep.

Beca retraced the night in her mind, and yeah she was at the Bella house and was meant to be working on the set for the upcoming sectionals. In like literally less than a week, and they had started on a new mix. But a start was not an end polished ready to perform result. Far from it. And right now she didn't care about the mix, heck she hadn't cared enough to work on it when Chloe had suggested they watch a movie. She could've said no and insisted they worked on it, she could've half watched the movie and half worked on it, but nope, what Chloe wanted. Chloe got.

She let herself watch, more than happy to just watch. Just? There was no just when it came to anything to do with Chloe. But yeah Beca's heart was growing two sizes "just" watching Chloe asleep. In her arms. Chloe's draped around her. In each others. Wow. Maybe she had came over and had fallen asleep and now she was dreaming. Because just maybe Chloe had made an appearance in one or two of Beca's dreams before. Like maybe. The nights she had slept alone wishing and hating herself for wishing that she wasn't alone, that she was with Chloe and that damn red head had been her final thought as she fought to sleep, the thoughts of that damn red head being what kept her restlessly awake and now, somehow it had happened.

Was happening.

Safe instead of confused.

Okay, there was still confusion. But only as to what was going on. Little confusion left as to how Beca was feeling about whatever this was.

She flexed the tendons in her arms, and liked the feel, the weight of Chloe's form in them. A low moan from Chloe as she moved again, her whole body stretched, and Beca feared she would wake up, as she settled back up Beca's body, her head buried in the crook of her neck.

Fear that what? Chloe would wake, realise that they were entangled and leave. Her alone. Fear that maybe just maybe something else, something more would happen, that she was almost literally face to face with Chloe, and the darkness was just comforting enough that she may act on every impulse she had. Has had. Since the first day she met Chloe. Everything that she had pushed down since she had leant in, took a chance that first night they had hung out when she'd been chosen to be a Bella and found Chloe gone. She'd feared that Chloe would reject her ever since. And that deep fear of rejection had stopped her every time making a move. So she lies impeccably still and watches.

She's not sure how long she lies there watching but the silence is comforting as she enjoys the slow steady breaths of Chloe on her neck. She feel safe. Secure. Safe? Ha, that's just not something Beca feels. Like ever. Always on edge, feeling left of centre. But not now, in this bubble with the cutest damn red head she's ever had the privilege of knowing. The most at home and relaxed she has ever felt, yet as soon as Chloe murmurs and shifts her body against her again panic rears its head and she can't take it anymore, just wake up already. Lets get this done. Whatever happens will happen, she can't take the not knowing any more. That's when her heart stops and then pounds faster and louder than she can take.

But it feels glorious. Telling herself she's gonna face whatever happens head on. She wishes she could bottle this feeling. Capture this moment. Somehow. She could get addicted to feeling this way. Impulsive.

Beca moves to slip her arm off of around Chloe, hoping it would help wake her, but every fibre of electricity moving in her stops her from doing so, and so she feels stuck. In a good way because she's stuck here with Chloe. A really good kind of stuck because she sees Chloe's eyes open. Barely. Slow. Blinking and adjusting just as hers had. A low hum of contentment. She feels it on her neck. And it makes her feel warm, rushing. Becas heart pounds faster. Louder. Can Chloe hear it? Feel it?

Yes.

Yeah she actually can. She had heard it seep through into her dream and lure her out into waking life. Chloe snuggled her head lower into Beca's chest, enjoying the sound pounding faster and faster against her ear. Smug. A little. Knowing that it was because of her. Her presence. Did Beca's heart always go at a gallop when she was around? She pondered it as she flexed her arms around Beca's torso. She felt Beca tense and let out a stuttered breath. She really liked how Beca's slender frame felt against hers. She could just lay here with Beca, she had so many things she almost wanted to say but none of it needed saying as long as Beca was in her arms and-

"I should go."

Chloe let Beca's words lie between them, the only thing between them. Silence built. What was comfortable silence became deafening. She waited to see if Beca would act on her words. Not wanting to persuade or dissuade her in any way. Wanting whatever happened next to be all on Beca.

Beca's choice.

The waiting got too long. Too tense. Beca made no movement. None. Not to go. Not to hurry up already and kiss her.

Nothing.

The longer the silence stretched the more she thought that Beca would never kiss her, she'd become too awkward and run, and yet she couldn't see it ending any other way. Chloe was itching to move, prepped and ready to move, not off her. But on her. Her neck was starting to ache, not at an awkward angle but from how tense every muscle was in it. The waiting. The endless waiting. She wanted to look into Beca's eyes instead of her current gaze at her lips. Try and read what she was thinking since she was still not speaking. Still not moving. Just still.

"Bec-"

Beca cut her off with a kiss.

To her forehead.

Beca didn't need Chloe to ask her to stay, the length at which Chloe hadn't said anything, said everything.

Beca felt the sharp intake of breath, of surprise from Chloe. Heck, from herself. At herself.

Chloe relaxed, Beca felt it in every muscle, against her.

Warm.

Inviting.

The kiss broke, and all Beca wanted was her lips back on Chloe. Anywhere.

Chloe opened her eyes and she was greeted with the small smile of Beca. She thinks she smiles back but she's too busy trying to keep control of every part of her body and let Beca lead. Beca placed another lingering kiss on the top of her head. Mumbled her words into Chloe's hair.

"I don't want to go."

"You just..."

"Yeah..." Beca started laughing. Chloe felt it rather than heard it. Her head still resting on Beca's chest.

"What?" Chloe asked as Beca's smiled widened. "What am I missing?"

"You know when you're a kid in the playground and..." Beca couldn't speak because she knew how ridiculous her reaction was, how almost rude she felt starting to laugh right now, but the idea, the words just popped into her head. She figured Chloe didn't mind this reaction as Chloe's face was more a picture of curiosity, a small smile that matched Beca's. A good sign. Chloe's arms were still around her. If tighter. Another good sign. Were they? Beca wasn't sure as her sides were shaking a little from trying to stifle her own laughter.

"And what... and what Bec?" Chloe was absolutely fine with Becas giggling, more than happy because Beca was opening up to her. A veil lifted. Honesty. And that smile. God that smile. The way it was so open, bright, making Becas eyes close, almost close, with how big and wide it was. She'd never seen a smile so unlike every other emotion a persons face would usually make, in such opposition to how Beca usually carried herself, but here it was betraying the bad ass Beca.

"Umm so yeah when you're umm..."

"Like... 'I like you, do you like me'...?" Chloe's own smile broke out into a giggle. Both on the same page as they shared this juvenile moment. It was ridiculous, Chloe got that now. But she was already imprinting those silly words to memory.

"Yep..." Beca struggled to breathe but restrained her laughter. Sighed. Fighting to keep a straight face, well straighter, as her lips pursed because of the struggle. The tension left her body as her eyes met with Chloes again. Both letting the moment sink in. They had said it. It was out in the open, in a stupid childish way but the elephant in the room had been addressed. "Yeah... that."

"Do you-?" Before Chloe even finished her question, Beca cut her off again.

A kiss.

Not a kiss.

The kiss.

Lips on lips.

Fast on impact but slow, lingering as Chloe let it sink in that Beca had kissed her. Was kissing her. Still kissing her.

Kissing.

Giddy.

Her and Beca, Beca and her.

Pressure light but Becas lips were on her lips. All that mattered. Beca had initiated it. Beca wanted this, was going for it. They were kissing and inside Chloe was dancing with joy. But too afraid to kiss back with the ferocity that had been building up in her and dying to explode for fear of scaring Beca away. Time passed slow and Beca's lips were still on hers. Unmoving. The happiness built up and the sound of a moan hit Chloe's ears. Pierced and seared into her brain and permanently onto her memory. The sound of Beca's moan forced her own happiness outwards. Her body catching up to her mind, no her mind catching up to her body, no Chloe was disjointed but the sound off of Beca, from Beca, out of Beca because of her tethered all the parts of Chloe that were flying off back together.

Chloe broke into a smile.

Breaking the kiss. A gasp. Neither was sure who. Maybe both of them gasped. Beca's eyes flicked all over Chloe's face. Reading. Interpreting.

Happiness.

Definitely happiness.

A little shock, in a really good way.

Beca moved back in, feeling sure of herself, her own wants, and what Chloe wanted.

Soft.

Kissing.

She was kissing Chloe. She had kissed Chloe and was doing it again. And Chloe was kissing her back.

More pressure, her lips moved over Chloe's this time. Tentative. Exploring. But not daring. Not too daring as Chloe's lips slipped like the missing piece of a jigsaw, perfectly with hers, between hers. Each movement, every release of breath making each others heads swim, each time their lips came back together each of them elicited a moan out of the other.

Quiet. Barely there. But there. Only heard by the stillness, by the quiet of the room, through the darkness. Making both realise how quiet the room had once been now that the beating in their chests, their hums of contentment and moans of desperation were filling in the silence.

Beca felt her heart beating, hard, almost painful. Chloe could feel Beca's pounding with her own, a unique beat. One Beca heard too, one Beca was trying to recite to memory, she felt the timbre of the two together and knew there was something special there.

Beca's mind screamed at her to delve in, heavy, hot, fast but she wanted to savour each and every second. Each and every minuscule movement of Chloe's lips on hers. Each and every minute movement of Chloe's body on hers. Not that Chloe was moving away, nor was she jumping her bones. But Beca could feel the slightest shift of Chloe's body on hers. Chloe's hands fisting slowly in her top at her sides. So slow. That she knew Chloe was lit up like she was, ready to spring into heated action but was holding back. Beca could feel every small spasm of movement, of untapped energy, kinetic, of Chloe's legs against hers.

Tangled. Beneath the blanket.

Beca's breath literally stopped, unable to remember how to breathe as she felt a small flick of Chloe's tongue over her upper lip. She felt her body shivering. But she wasn't cold. Far from it, with the heat of her own body and the heat of Chloe's on top of hers under the safety of the blanket. Chloe continued to slowly kiss Beca's now still lips until she felt Beca's breath come out of her as a rush.

Chloe realised that Beca had been holding her breath?

Maybe?

Or unable to breath? Because of her?

Definitely.

Totally.

Chloe broke the kiss again with another, wider, smile.

She had literally taken away Beca's breath.

Chloe mentally high fived herself, cause yeah she's that cool.

Chloe found it beyond adorable. And so fucking sexy.

"Uhhh... Ummm..."

Yeah, breathless, and speechless Beca was so sexy.

"I'll take that," Chloe wasn't in control of her smile, tried to be as she stuck her tongue out a little and giggled with a major sense of accomplishment at making Beca a bumbling mess, her eye brows raised a little. "...as a yes-"

Maybe Beca was starting to reply, maybe Chloe had more to say, either way their lips found one another's again.

Firmer.

Faster.

Beca grew bolder spurned on by the safety of the darkness, assurance she felt laying under Chloe, made her seek out Chloe's tongue with her own.

A rattle. A click. A gush of cold air.

"Knew it." Stacie said so beyond casual, as Beca looked up, stunned, eyes wide, as Stacie lent over the couch, "Left this." Picked up her cell phone, smiled at them and headed back towards the door. "Enjoy yourselves."


	14. Chapter 14

Before Chloe could even ask the question, the inevitable 'Are you going to stay or are you going to go?' the answer was already on her lips.

The interruption by Stacie, and it was just that, an interruption, not an ending, but an intermission because Beca knew she wasn't going to go anywhere. Beca didn't want to go anywhere. And by the way Chloe was currently kissing her back she knew Chloe didn't want her to go either.

* * *

 

**Beca - Hey dude you gonna be there tonight?**

**Stacie - This your way of telling me you wanna be alone with Strawberry again?**

**Beca - Fuck you.**

**Stacie - Language!**

**Beca - Sorry this is my way of asking if you told any one about last night... so did ya?**

**Stacie - :P nope, not even Aub, but I can't say Chloe wouldn't have told her.**

**Beca - Eugh!**

**Stacie - You better not being eughing at anything to do with my Aub! :P Yeah its a Bella outing tonight so no alone time for you two hehe**

**Beca - There is no us two maybe I think I dunno**

**Stacie - But you want there to be. Its obvious.**

**Beca - Eugh just don't say anything to anyone about any of this... please?**

**Stacie - No problem bro, you want me to come pick you up?**

**Beca - I'm coming over from the station now, but thanks x**

**Stacie - Any time bro :)**

* * *

 

Beca walked over to the Bella house, light on her feet, like she could actually feel more fluidity in her body than usual. Usually she trudged. Chloe put the pep in her step. She was under the presumption that she would be wasted by the end of the night, well it was a goal, and take a cab home, and in a small deep dark corner in the back of her mind there was a flame. Barely. Of hope that she wouldn't even end up needing to take that cab. Alone. Or at all.

Whatever. She was trying not to think about any of that and just let the night lead her where it would. Fate? Less thinking, more drinking, as she remembered Fat Amy saying one night at a Bella party. Yeah she could try that. She didn't believe in anything like fate but she had to stop and let go and just let shit go down however it was going to. Stop thinking about sneaking off with Chloe, or leaving the gig early with Chloe, or ending back at the Bella house with Chloe, or not leaving the Bella house at all and letting the others go out and her and that damn red head could just stay in and-

Keep it together, Mitchell.

At no point did she think that maybe they should be working on the set for Sectionals, and even if it had passed through her mind, which maybe it had, she hadn't reminded Chloe of it when she had called and invited her out. She was just teetering on trying to not be completely overwhelmed by nervousness. Too busy convincing herself that she was going to go out, not chicken out.

Beca just wanted to be happy for once. Too much to ask?

Chloe made her want to live in the moment.

Chloe had made her act on that want.

Chloe made her want.

She wanted Chloe.

Shoot first, think never.

She wiped her hands on her dark jeans before ringing the doorbell. She blew out a breath of air and tried to compose herself. Not wanting to look as nervous as she felt.

"We're going to a country bar Bec," Chloe answered the door with the cutest smile, made only cuter by her hair. She had to have it fucking up in the cutest fucking pigtails that Beca had ever saw. Chloe's smile turned into a fake frown, betrayed by her small dip of her head and the way she looked slowly up through her lashes at Beca. So on fucking purpose. Like was Chloe aware of this raw magnetism she possessed? How could she be? There was too much underlying innocence behind it all. "...come on," Chloe took Beca's hand and led her up the stairs of the Bella house, round the corridor to her room. Beca stumbled a little not knowing the way, heart racing to be entering a place she'd conjured up in her mind far too many times. Beca tried to stare at the back of Chloe's head as she was led but the thigh length light powder blue dress that Chloe had on caught her attention, forced her eyes down, in and out over curves, that made her fingers tingle with the memory of how those curves felt rolling against her, under her palms. Beca's eyes moved to the backs of Chloe's thighs that made Beca want to untangle her fingers from Chloe's own and reach out and run her free hand up and under. Until- "Bec, get in the spirit..." Beca shrugged, eyebrows knitted. Yeah she was totally convincingly looking the opposite of turned on right now. Right? "Dress the part." Chloe did a half twirl in her dress, Beca responded with a hand motion to her black flannel shirt with her free hand, realising that Chloe still had a hold of her other. Or she just hadn't let go. "You always wear them."

"Well..." Beca freed her hand, immediately missed Chloe's hand in hers. Cold where there was once warmth. Burning. But in such a fucking good way. "What are you expecting off of me?" Chloe smirked and Beca wanted to take Chloe's hand back and pull Chloe in and kiss the smirk right off her face. Instead Beca rubbed her arm with her now free hand, briefly, realised how nervous that made her look and stopped it promptly. "Some Tammy Wynette style dress?"

"If only..." A wink. "That would be totes hilarious." Beca pouted, and Chloe leant in, Beca took back Chloe's hands in her own, fingers threaded. Played idly with the digits as Chloes thumbs rubbed over Beca's knuckles as Chloe waited and waited for Beca to close the gap.

"Fuck you." Beca murmured. Chloe smirked at that, as she leant her forehead against Beca's. Or Beca leant hers against her. She's not sure but she's sure she doesn't care as she can feel the heat radiating off Beca and smell her perfume. Chloe's mouth watered. Wanting to taste Beca. She liked Beca's mock tone of being disgruntled, when she knew, without a doubt that Beca right now, hands trembling in hers, was anything but. The smirk grew wider as she heard Beca's sharp intake of breath at her closeness. Chloe loved the anticipation. Chloe hated the anticipation. Hated that she loved it. Wanted Beca in every way, in a shout it from the roof tops way. But she knew she had to come at Beca calmly. More timid than she knew she would like as to not scare her away.

Beca could smell the strawberry lip gloss on Chloe's lips. Almost taste it she was that close.

Beca's pout slowly turned up into a smile to match Chloe's. Beca stared at her lips. Felt Chloe staring at her own.

"Will you fucking kiss-" Beca was cut off.

"-Kiss me already-" By Chloe.

Chloe and Beca's lips met half way. A small light kiss. Still. Beca lost the function to think, to breathe. Was this something they did now? Kiss? It was all Beca could think about. When she had kissed Chloe. And holy fuck had she wanted to do it again, and again and again. Were they like an actual thing, Beca had so many questions but no. Nope nopeity nope. Beca would not let herself be that needy 'let's talk about our feelings' girl. She was never that girl. Never would be. Dammit.

"Darn..." Chloe muttered against, into Beca's lips as Beca's kissing became fiercer. Bolder. Beca snagged Chloe's bottom lip between her teeth and pulled, using the gasp of surprise that Chloe made to lick into her mouth, another gasp that she used to delve further.

Chloe's eyes fluttered open, saw blurred Beca in front of her as Beca's tongue worked in her and then closed tight as she gained her faculties back and kissed back as fierce. Teeth scraping, noses bumping as her hands found their way slowly into Beca's hair, as she relished making her way there up Beca's arms, shoulders, feeling the shiver run through Beca as her fingers met skin at the opening of Beca's shirt and up to fist in her hair.

Beca shook as a moan reverberated through her and into Chloe's mouth.

Chloe felt Beca's lips tremble against hers and then as one of her hands let go of Beca's hair and made its way back to grip tight, holding onto her neck, nails digging, clawing at the tops of her shoulders to keep her upright as Beca kissed back harder. Kissed away all functionality out of her legs.

Both became light headed and parted, drawing in deep ragged breaths.

"Ummm..." Beca hummed. "Wow..." Gulped. Hard. Foreheads once again resting on each other. To steady each other. Her hands lightly on Chloe's waist.

"Fuck me." Chloe's voice hoarse. Her eyes still closed. She felt Beca's hands grip her side tight. Flexing. They stood together as their breathing came back to them at a more normal pace. Slower. The blood in their bodies started to pump all around instead of just down.

Chloe nudged her with her nose. To comfort. Chloe's mind went back to what they had been talking about, she would actually totally love to see Beca in a dress.

Out of.

Chloe kissed Beca's cheek. Slow. Beca felt a slight press of Chloe's tongue on her skin as Chloe's lips pressed onto her. Chloe hummed into the kiss. She smiled big and wide at seeing Beca's large eyes as she pulled away then turned and disappeared off into her closet.

"What..." Beca's voice sounded foreign to her, light. She took a steadying breath. "Wh-what are you-"

"-Hang on..." words drawn out. "Just... One... What size shoe are you?" A scuffle. "Here!" Chloe reappeared with full on white bedazzled cowboy boots. Her eyes big with anticipation. Bright. So bright that they almost distracted Beca from the white bedazzled cowboy boots.

Almost.

"Ha." An incredulous bark of laughter. "No." Deadpan.

A cock of Chloe's head, a small nod, understanding eyes, face straight and she disappeared back into her closet.

"It was worth a try," more rummaging was heard. "...shy children get nothing." It felt like minutes passed to Beca, and then Chloe reappeared. "At least," a bright smile hidden below a cowboy hat. "Put this on."

"Nope." Chloe lifted her head, chin angled up high as she tried her best big doe eyes on Beca. Beca laughed a little, feeling herself being pulled in, no, falling? Towards Chloe. Not like literally Beca thought to herself but she could feel the flare of emotions hitting her. Arrow to the heart.

Fuck.

She had to fight it, swing her sword, beat back the emotions that were firing at her. In her. Out of her. For this damn red head.

Arrow after arrow puncturing her, until her knees buckled and she felt like she could collapse onto them and let the arrows slay her. Everything she had been burying shooting to the surface. A geyser. Blood rushing and gushing where it shouldn't.

"Please?" Chloe's smile held big. Waiting. Beca smirked. A half smile, she was so close to giving in. Beca tried so hard, because she just fucking knew, that at any moment she could easily and happily slip into being Chloe's bitch. She could not give in. "Please?"

Knees buckled, head low, arrows sticking out of her at every angle, as Chloe's smile, Chloe's plead marched over her. Left her in the dust.

Fuck.

Beca didn't want to acknowledge this feeling. Didn't want to give it a name. To conjure it up and make it real. But here it fucking was.

"Nope." Beca reiterated with a pop. A gulp. She wetted her lips, keeping her smile small. Tight. Cause if anything she was about to launch herself back at Chloe and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss until they weren't going anywhere and weren't wearing anything. So like argument over. Right?

Chloe took the cowboy hat off of herself, moved closer, her face purposely mere inches away from Beca's again, wanting Beca to kiss her again, leaning in, holding in place to dare Beca to do it.

Sure she could kiss Beca first but nope. It all had to come from Beca. Beca had to want it. Her. Yeah Chloe liked the feeling of being wanted.

Desired.

So she waited for Beca to make the moves, set the pace. And waited. And waited.

Anything?

Chloe told herself she could take it. She had taken wanting to kiss Beca for far longer than was taking Beca to lean in, tilt, and kiss her. She could darn it. But once they had kissed it was far more difficult to not be kissing Beca now. Where as before she had started to try to convince herself that if it never happened then she would be ok with that, but now she'd had a taste of Beca she wanted more.

Make a move Bec. Chloe shouted in her head, and was pretty sure her eyes were big enough to be conveying her own need and desire.

Beca felt the tingle in her finger tips that she held down rigid at her side to just grasp those fucking pigtails and close the gap but when she didn't, not that Chloe didn't note Beca's eyes flittering down to her lips as she inched closer. Beca saw in her minds eye her pushing her hands up Chloe's thighs, pushing the dress up off of Chloe, dancing fingers over toned abs, pushing Chloe back onto Chloe's bed, fuck she hadn't even really noticed it and now all she saw was Chloe'e bed, the elephant in the room, fuck, and her mind and body just were not ready for this rush of shit she wanted to do to Chloe. Sure it had particulated in her mind ever since she had met the damn red head but being confronted with it. Being able to do what she wanted, and oh fuck did she want, the damn red head. Being so close to actually going through with it, wanting to go through with it was scary.

It was scary. As shit.

And Beca 'Effin Mitchell wasn't afraid of anything.

Damn it.

Except she was.

Her.

Chloe.

That damn red head.

She was afraid of her own feelings for Chloe.

Feelings that she was screaming at herself were just a crush. An infatuation. And in no way could ever start with the letter 'L'. That could fuck right off.

Fuck.

Shoot first.

And she didn't know if she could stop herself.

Think never.

Because they apparently kiss now. That's a thing they do.

Kiss.

Her and Chloe.

Chloe.

Even her name in Beca's mind sounded musical, and fuck, the music they could make.

Fuck just give in. To happiness.

That damn red head.

That damn red head that she's now kissing.

Shoot first. Think never.

That damn red head that's now kissing her. Back.

Beca's hands had mindlessly came up and were toying with the ends of Chloe's pigtails.

Beca felt her heartbeat in her ears, a bass line, then Chloe's soft moans as they kissed layered on top. A sweet melody.

Chloe kept having to stop herself smiling as they kissed. As Beca kissed her. Exploring. Unsure but she still let Beca lead.

They broke apart, Beca unable to breathe and Chloe unable to stop herself smiling. Beca's eyes looked slowly up from their childish pose, to look at Chloe, Chloe's eyes locked with hers. Fixed her in place. She was right where she belonged. Not like she had any intention of moving. She felt Chloe's breath hit hers. Then Chloe's eyes blink, slowly, and when they opened they had moved down. To trace the curve of her own lips. Beca's lips parted, her tongue wetted them. Slow.

Chloe leant back, removed the cowboy hat off of her own head.

She tasted Chloe's lips. Strawberry. Needed to sate her appetite for that taste again. And again. Over and over.

"Yup." She heard Chloe gulp as she got closer, placing the hat on Beca's head. "You wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool."

* * *

 

"...Can you see I got the yearning, we've all day, I want your love... your special way..." Ashley played mandolin with her band 'That would be a cool name for a band' on the stage, with all Bella's in attendance, she was proud to have them all come out and support her. A night out organised by Stacie but to everyone's knowledge organised by Aubrey. Team Bella Bonding, she'd called it. Well Stacie had jokingly called it that, and Aubrey had ran with it. "...I love, I love your smile, oh darling don't you drive me wild..." they played the song slower than the usual tempo and everyone in the bar was really digging it.

Drinks flowed.

The slower tempo allowed Stacie to really get her grind on with Aubrey. Ok she would've been getting her dance on with Aubrey no matter what but she owed Ashley a drink for how good this song sounded.

Stacie looked over to Beca and Chloe, and smiled. They were dancing too, perhaps not as close as her and Aubrey, I mean who was? But they were together. She's not saying it was obvious enough that the other Bella's would know that they were together together. Stacie certainly wasn't going to enlighten them, she knew she had been right all along, that was good enough for her.

"Sorry I gotta..." Beca strained over the music, Chloe nodded. A smile. Bright and easy as she turned to look from Beca to back at the stage.

Beca slipped out the side door of the bar to take the phone call that was vibrating in her pocket, she'd missed one of his calls already tonight. Completely by accident and she didn't want to miss another.

"...I heard you call my name and I was calling just the same..."

The sound of the music faded to just a throbbing bass that she felt at her core as she paced the ally.

Chloe turned to watch Beca leaving but she was already gone.

"...and I want you by my side, I'm yearning, I can't deny you got a hold..."

Chloe was pulled in the direction of Beca. She couldn't see her but could feel, magnetic. Where Beca went, she was pulled, and would follow.

* * *

 

"Hey..." Beca rolled her eyes, pacing outside the bar, surely she could come up with something better than a mere 'Hey' after all this time. She listened intently as she paced some more, she tried to stand still but couldn't, her hand in her hair, continuously sweeping it out her face when it was already out her face after the first time she did it but she continued to repeat the action. Nervous. A smile spreading, eyes wider. "Wow that's umm, I'm so happy, obviously I mean that's... it's yeah, umm, congratulations, for you, ummm, yeah..."

Chloe watched Beca pacing, head down, intense, as she talked on the phone. Not that Chloe could hear her, or was even trying to hear her, she was very happy to just be watching her. Slim legs pacing, turning, Chloe's head cocking to watch Beca's slight frame walk away again, the light coming down the ally from a street light illuminating her, then casting her in long shadows as she walked back towards her again.

When Beca walked towards the side door, she found Chloe leaning, back against the wall, cigarette in between her fingers. Beca stood, hands stuffed in her pockets, shoulders raised as Chloe smoked. One long final draw and Chloe flicked it down the alley. Flipping through the air it landed out of sight. Chloe took a step forward, closing the small space Beca had left between them, and pushed her fingers through Beca's belt loops.

A tug.

Small.

All that was needed, not even needed. Beca liked it though. The small tug of her hips towards Chloe. Really fucking liked it as she felt bats, she was too cool to think of them as butterflies, fight in her lower stomach.

Chloe smiled as it didn't take much for Beca to be flush against her. Chloe's face tilted, ready to be kissed.

She enjoyed the small anticipation, and it was small this time as Beca quickly closed the gap.

Beca couldn't wait, they were out there, alone, and she had been desperate to kiss Chloe all night.

Their kisses were breathy. Rushed. Beca not knowing how long they would have alone. She tried to savour every taste and feel every texture, commit it all to memory but her mind was working over time thinking that any second they would get caught. And no body could know. Well nobody else, damn Stacie.

Beca thought about what Chloe's neck would taste like but she couldn't bring herself to move her kisses away from Chloe's mouth. Sweet. So instead her hands pawed at Chloe's neck in desperation for more. Pawed there, scraping, nails digging to stop herself from letting her hands wander Chloes body. If they did, Beca wasn't sure if she could stop, and was scared of, finding herself knuckle deep in Chloe, in an ally, and if someone else was to pop out for air or a cigarette that she wouldn't care and just keep pumping until all that would be holding Chloe up was Beca's fingers.

Beca felt her head spinning, either the drinks hitting her, the air hitting her, or that swift movement of Chloe's tongue over and over and tangled with her own.

Their mouths hot and sticky, becoming one, not sure where one began or ended, nor caring.

Beca leant back, her hips however, still held against Chloe's, fingers in her jeans.

Chloe held her gaze strong with Beca. Watching Beca's cheeks flush. Could be the drink burning itself out into the cool night air, or the magical effect she was having on Beca. She was pondering which it was most likely to be as she fell, no was pulled, willingly, deeper and deeper into Beca's strong gaze. Like looking into the abyss of the midnight sky and knowing that there's meaning in the universe. More than you. More than them. But that was all Chloe needed. Beca. Until she finds herself back against the wall, Beca's hands had moved from emitting goosebumps down her spine to have her pigtails twirled and threaded through her fingers, pulling, twisting as their tongues twirled, making her stomach drop and rumble like she hadn't eaten in days, then a noise, the door beside them opened and Beca leapt away, off of her.

Like Chloe was a fire. Beca had certainly set her on fire.

Hands stuff back into her pockets, one sweeps through her hair, tucking it behind her ear, and disappears back into her pocket once more.

Gaze hard at the ground.

Cynthia came to stand next to them.

Was Beca ashamed of her? Of them? She had pulled away from her a little all night until they were out here alone, was she really going to have to go through the same shit all over again?

Chloe didn't think she could. She wanted. No? Needed? No. Deserved. Yeah, Chloe deserved someone who was proud to be with her.

"Hey can I borrow one?" Cynthia motioned to Chloe, she obliged, bringing out a slightly crumpled packet of cigarettes out her back pocket.

"Totally."


	15. Chapter 15

Chloe walked in through the out door, leaving Beca kicking her feet against nothing but dirt and trash idly chatting to Cynthia. She'd felt Beca's eyes avoiding her, Beca's entire demeanour change once Cynthia was out there with them and couldn't take it, Chloe needed some space. Away from Beca. Not for long, she knew she wouldn't be able to do that, and maybe she was over analysing. She just needed time to think.

Back in from the outside, Beca followed Cynthia as she heard Ashley's voice drifting up and over the rest of the band. She was really fucking good, Beca had never noticed how good before when they had all been in rehearsal. She'd always been focused on trying to not solely focus on Chloe. Well done there then, Mitchell.

"...I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby. Going to take it apart, I'll put us back together at heart, baby..."

Stamping. The crowd in the bar joining in. The atmosphere electric. On the outside of the crowd, heading back from the bar, a drink in each hand was Chloe.

Beca needed that drink. It wouldn't calm her, no all precedent was that it would free her, but not calm, maybe loosen. Yeah it would loosen her up.

Chloe knew this. Needed this. Needed that Beca.

Chloe looked across and saw Aubrey dancing with Stacie. They both looked so at ease, free, happy. Mostly that. Happy.

What she wanted to be.

Was.

Mostly.

Beca was the cause of that, she still wanted more. Didn't she deserve more?

Jealousy.

Chloe didn't like calling the emotion that was piercing her like pin pricks jealousy, but there was no other word. That's what she felt when she watched Aubrey with Stacie. It wasn't the same stabbing and twisting jealousy that she felt when she saw Beca with Jesse but it was still jealousy. She wanted their relationship. She saw the way Aubrey bit her lip and eyes rolled back as Stacie whispered something into her ear. The way they laughed with one another. The ease at which she saw Stacie's hands looped around Aubrey's neck as she leant down and pulled her into a kiss. The way Aubrey kissed back between smiles, laughing and chatting. The entire not giving a hoot about what anyone around them saw or said.

That.

Chloe wanted that.

Chloe wanted Beca to want that.

They met amongst the crowded bar, Beca took the drink, a nod of thanks as Chloe sang along. Either Chloe's voice drifting over to her or the alcohol makes her head spin. And a little, well a lot. And she felt giddy from the phone call.

"...Don't you forget about me, don't don't don't don't..."

A ruckus.

All in unison.

That was it, the missing piece.

Beca started hearing it fitting into her mix but she couldn't concentrate on that when Chloe was ahead of her, singing. Dancing. She threw the rest of the drink down her throat, placed it on a table near them and before she could even think about it, her hips were against Chloe's ass, moving to Chloe's rhythm. One hand on the side of Chloe's hip, the other flat against her stomach.

"...Don't you forget about me..."

The puzzle completed but before she could even cohesively think these thoughts due to thinking instead how incredibly sexy Chloe looked and felt against her and drop the bass line from the song currently playing into her mix for the Bellas, Chloe had turned her head to look behind her, whispering, and vocalised it.

"This is it."

"Huh?" Long. Stunned. Not really a response to what Chloe just said but just a response to Chloe. Chloe talking. Chloe saying actual words had drawn Beca out of her heated turned on daze. The angel on her shoulder. Or was Chloe the devil? "What?" Becas lip quirked up, something Chloe found incredibly sexy about her, even more so because she was fast aware and clued up to the fact that Beca had no idea how panty wettingly sexy she was.

Beca was still dazed from the phone call. Totally not the fact that she may have pounced on Chloe as soon as they were alone. In an ally. Of all places.

Classy, Mitchell. Classy.

Nope.

But like totally. And it had felt so good. Chloe had felt so good. So good that she had went straight back to Chloe once she was back in her proximity. Even if it was sort of in a middle of a crowd, but Beca had knocked back a few drinks and her head swirled with what was right and wrong, and Chloe felt right. Chloe turned in Beca's hold, Beca's hand now on the small of Chloe's back.

A smile threatened to fully spread over Beca's face. Beca wasn't sure if she was ready to be this happy. Shit. What if she was? Although that really might have been more to do with the phone call. Her brother. If he could do it, be happy, open and be living his life how he wanted then maybe so could she.

William was getting married.

"The extra..." Her voice caught in her throat just by looking at Beca. The way her cheeks were even more flushed made Chloe start to lean in, ready for Beca to kiss her.

"...something..." Beca looked down. "Yeah it-it could work." Away from her and Chloe just couldn't take that rejection, however small and so Chloe turned back to look at the band.

Beca let herself look back up. Just because Chloe wasn't watching her, expecting. Beca watched her watch the band as Chloe joined in, slipping her hand back around Chloe's waist.

"Will you call my name?" Chloe bopped to the beat, trying to rid the thought of making out with Beca down the ally outside the bar because hello darkness her old friend, and wanting to make out with Beca now, she knew that distant look and the avoidance of Beca's eyes, she'd seen it all before. So she sang, singing always blew those crappy feelings away, if only for a few minutes, as she tried to ignore the inevitable.

Hope can set you free.

All Chloe wanted was to lean back and to whisper into Beca's ear "kiss me."

But Beca was hot then cold, all over her then shut off. She knew she couldn't, shouldn't, push any more tonight, had to take what she'd been given.

But the words slipped out, they must have as Beca's hand had left her, her body had left her and she heard behind her.

"Dude? No!" Chloe turned. Becas eyes looked all around. All around the empty space that was Chloe. "Why would you-dude…"

"Joking?" Chloe smiled. Nervous. Wanting the softer sexier Beca back against her. Willing to do anything to please her.

"Oh... right..." Beca nodded, pretended it was all okay. Chloe imitated her nod, pretended it was all okay.

Chloe turned back to the band, hoping Beca would be flush against her again. But she felt the space between them. Cold.

"When you walk away..." She looked at Beca over her shoulder as she sang, their eyes met. She had to give Beca the chance to be okay with all of this. Maybe Beca had never been into women before up until her? Maybe this was all new to Beca and Chloe just needed to give her time? To be okay with the two of them first before being public in any way. Chloe needed Beca to talk to her about all this. She would give her chances up until Beca would, maybe, open up to her but she wasn't going to give her all the chances she had given Lana.

It would be one, two, three strikes she's out.

* * *

 

"Hey Chlo, we're leaving now."

"Sure. I'll just go get Beca, she's-"

"I don't care, we're leaving. Now." Aubrey repeated sternly. "Come on. Let's go." Stacie hung off her neck. Aubrey's hands around Stacie's waist as Stacie peppered kisses to the side of her face.

"Well then I'm gonna wait," Hands on her hips. "I'll get a cab with her."

"Fine." Aubrey said in the tone that really meant anything but. Chloe saw Stacie whispering into Aubrey's ear, but didn't hear. "Fine." To Stacie. "We'll be outside, but we're leaving in ten."

Aubrey and Stacie walked towards the exit, Stacie mouthed 'I'm sorry' to Chloe. Chloe waved her off, she was used to this. This was just Aubrey being Aubrey.

Chloe went over to where Beca was chatting to Ashley and the rest of the band 'That would be a cool name for a band'

"Hey..." Chloe's hand rested on Beca's shoulder. Light. "We're leaving now." Beca looked back over her shoulder at Chloe. "Hey Bec, you coming?"

"Im'a be a while," Beca was regretting it as she was saying it. "I'll umm," Beca turned to fully face Chloe, took one of Chloe's hands in hers. Light. Reassuring. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Beca was trying to sort out, arrange, 'That would be a cool name for a band' to appear on the college radio station. Luke, the station manager, had said her or Jesse could do some nights on air but they needed to earn it. And so far neither of them had. She had covered for Luke when he had popped out once or twice but that wasn't the same as having her own slot.

She had tried to impress Luke with her own mixes, and maybe that's why he kept picking her over Jesse to fill in for him randomly, or boobs. Boobs could get you so far.

But brining in a band to do a set would swing it her way, one hundred percent. She just knew it.

"Sure," Chloe's eyes dipped down to where Beca's hand held hers. Still light. Testing. Thumb rubbing over her knuckles. When Beca let go, Chloe idly played with the thumb ring on her other hand. "...Later."

Chloe's brows raised a little, she smiled at Beca, everything was cool.

Everything. Was. Cool.

Beca wanted to run after the damn red head as she walked away, slipped out the side door, but she wasn't here at Barden to fall in-stop it Mitchell, she warned herself, she was here to get out of here and start her real life.

"Where's Beca?" Stacie asked.

"She's not coming."

"Good." Stacie playfully hit Aubrey's shoulder. "What?"

Stacie made big eyes at Aubrey then shrugged at Chloe.

"It's cool." Chloe sighed. She went from still twirling her thumb ring to, flattening her dress. "Really guys..." With a tone that Aubrey could tell meant the opposite but she actually was cool with Chloe being unhappy, just for a bit, just until Chloe would realise that Beca wasn't for her, then Aubrey could go back to making Chloe happy.

"I really thought the tw-" Stacie was cut off by Chloe. Passive aggressive.

"I said..." A breath. A pasted smile. "...it's totally cool."

* * *

 

"She's up there." Jesse nodded towards the rafters in the station. "Here take her this."

He motioned with his head towards the coffee on the table, his arms full of records.

"Brought her one," Chloe breezed past him. Big smile. "Thanks."

And up the stairs.

Another day. Another chance.

She found Beca lying on the floor, legs crossed in the air, forest green converse clad feet tapping to an unheard beat.

Chloe moved closer, enjoying just watching Beca work at her laptop, headphones bigger than her head. Closer still as she heard a low melody coming from Beca. A small hum.

Chloe situated herself against the edge of the table behind Beca. She smirked because Beca had chosen to lay on the dusty looking hard wooden floor like a child instead of sitting at the table.

"Sweet." Beca hit 'save' one more time. Closed the program. Pulled out the USB, and slipped it in her back pocket. She pulled out the cord on her headphones, still on her head as she shut down the laptop and moved to get up. A red headed blur behind her, her eyes focused. "Fuck! How long you been sat there?"

"Hi to you too," A slow blink as Chloe knew Beca was trying to not look directly into her eyes but she wanted her to. So she stared intently until Beca was, then wetted her lips and spoke slow. "I just came to get the mix."

"Hi."

Beca pushed the headphones off of her head, down round her neck. She wasn't really expecting to see Chloe today. Hadn't built herself up mentally for that.

"Me and Aubrey need to work on choreography with Amy tonight. Sort of need the mix to do that."

"Oh."

Beca had hoped Chloe had came just to see her. No, stop thinking like that, Mitchell.

"Here, you're favourite." Beca dusted herself off, then her hands of the dust and took the cup.

"I don't umm," Beca scrunched her nose. "I don't have a favourite but thanks."

"You will once you taste that." Chloe's eyes sparkled. No really Beca swears they do, in anticipation. "Go on."

A sip.

Teeth on edge.

"What the frick?" Beca handed her it back. "How can you drink that?"

"Oh you must have mine." Chloe swaps Beca for the other in the cup holder. "Here."

An even smaller sip. Just in case.

"Ahhh just like my soul, that I don't believe exists."

"Black."

Beca and Chloe lean against the table, comfortable silence as they sip their drinks. After a while Beca kinda wished she had Chloes drink instead. Maybe she just drank black coffee cause she though it sounded cool, and a childhood love for Janeway that she'd never admit to, but the syrupy beverage Chloe drank was actually nicer.

Beca and Chloe finished their drinks at roughly the same time, placed the red cups beside them.

Silence became awkward.

"So..."

"Yeah?" Beca's head whipped around. Chloe chuckled.

"Can I have the USB?"

"Oh." Beca stood, took it out the back of her jeans. "Yeah, umm, of course." Shaking her head, looking down. "Sure, yeah of course." She handed it to Chloe's waiting hand. "Guess you gotta be going?"

Chloe's fingers curled around the USB, and Beca's fingers.

"Yeah." Airy. "Yeah I should-"

"-Stay." Beca's free hand tucked her hair behind her ear, Chloe's eye went to the 'monstrosities' adorning her ear, she wanted to feel them beneath her tongue. "Umm," Beca wetted her lips. "I mean... fuck I dunno," A long breath. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"Then why aren't you?"


	16. Chapter 16

Chloe was pushed against the table with the force of Beca's kiss.

Chloe felt wanted.

The wood made a sharp high pitch scraping noise.

Chloe giggled, Beca's quick fumbling kisses muffled it. Chloe giggled at them too, she liked the feeling of Beca's needyness. The rush. The rush of Beca wanting to be all over her any chance they got. The rush that it made her feel, adrenaline surging and a physical rush, wet.

Hands at her hips, Beca lifted Chloe to sit up on the table as Chloe kissed her back. Beca felt Chloe's smile. Beca really liked the feeling of Chloe's smile against her lips. It made their lips meet in unexpected ways, always new, exploring.

Chloe's hands ran through Beca's hair, as she felt a low pulse running through her. Small waves of pleasure splashing at her core, growing faster and more powerful as Beca's kisses got hotter. Her tongue sweeping. Beca tried to slow down her kisses, take in every moment with Chloe but she couldn't process every thought, every feeling as she was hit with too much happiness all at once. Syrupy sweetness coated Beca's tongue. The bitterness of Beca's coffee stung Chloes. Chloe's lips made her forget where she was, what day it was, what her own name was. But Chloe reminded her of that as she mumbled it against her, as she licked her way up Beca's neck. And started nibbling on Beca's ears, licking over her 'monstrosities'. Beca swore she could be part Ferengi with what Chloe's ministrations to her ears were doing to her.

Knees weak.

All that kept Beca up was how her body leant against Chloe's. Her hips rolled forward and into Chloe. Chloe's legs hooked around the back of Beca's legs, her hips rising off the table to meet where Beca stood. Beca's hips rolled down again, trapping Chloe where she sat on the table. Beca's hands fell from where they were clutching at the collar of Chloe's black and blue barred top to be flat against the table on either side of her.

"Hmmm Bec like that." Chloe stated. She knew. It wasn't asked.

"Shut up," Beca didn't need to be told, reminded of what she was doing, what she thought she shouldn't be doing but wanted it too much to care. Chloe fisted her hand in Beca's hair in response, tugged a little. A gasp of surprised, then Beca turned her head and captured Chloe's lips that were turned up in a wicked smile. Kissed her harder, tongue taking charge, fast, gasping for breaths as she took. Beca pulled on Chloe's bottom lip. Beca whispered into her, "...don't stop."

Chloe smiled, breaking Beca's hold on her lip. Chloe turned Beca's neck to the side. Chloe licked up and nibbled her way back down.

"Like this?" A low moan of approval was all Chloe needed to know Beca was into this. "Tell me," A small bite. "what..." Soothed with her tongue. "You..." A shuddering breath felt against Chloe's lips, "Want."

"I... Oh..." Beca's mind raced with all the things she wanted to say to Chloe as Chloe pulled back so she could look into Beca's eyes. But Beca couldn't speak. All wants and needs stuck in her throat. "Fuck."

"Now that I can do." Chloe's grin and wink made Beca feel, no, know this was all she needed. Right here. Now. Between Chloe's thighs. "What do you want Bec?"

"Ohhhh fuck..."

"If you can't tell me, show me."

* * *

 

 "...I guess... you'd say... what can make me feel this way?" Jesse sang as he finished up the last of his coffee, "Now where is my girl?"

All records put away for the day, same old menial task as the day before, but he didn't care. He got to hang out with Beca. So yeah, another good day that could lead to an even better night.

"Talking bout my girl... I got sunshine on a cloudy day with my girl..."

* * *

 

 Beca took the hand of Chloe's that was at her hip, and pushed it up under her dark brown tank top.

Chloe let Beca lead. As far as she wanted to go, and she kept going until a bra clad breast was under her palm. In her palm. Her hand. Chloe gave a small squeeze, a little flex of her fingers, testing how Beca responded. She felt Beca's nipple harden instantly between her fingers. She heard Beca moan deep in the back of her throat, her lip bit, tight between her teeth, to keep it escaping. Chloe leant in, a kiss to Beca's throat. She felt Beca twitch, tense as she placed another long soft kiss, then another up to her jawline where her teeth barely scraped before she licked. Light. Along the edge of Beca's jaw up to her ear. One light kiss there too. Then another and another as she licked and sucked Beca's ear into her mouth. Chloe stopped her kisses. Chloe moved her own head back. She needed to know that Beca was okay with this. Their eyes locked and as Chloe went to ask.

"You sure-"

Beca answered her with a kiss. Then pulled back.

"Yes." Beca breathed into Chloes mouth as their kiss broke, mere millimetres apart, Beca's breaths out were Chloe's breaths in, until they couldn't take another second of their lips not being on each others and both smashed into each other again.

Beca leant her body into Chloe's grasp. Gasping into Chloe's kisses, as Chloe's other hand ran up Beca's twitching stomach on it's way to join the other at Beca's breasts.

* * *

 

"BECAW!"

Feet on stairs.

* * *

 

 "Fuck!" A loud whisper. Beca stumbled back.

"Where's my girl at!?"

* * *

Chloe cocked her head. Dismay washed over her features. One? Two? Three strikes. Where were they at now?

Beca pushed her tank top back down.

Chloe pawed a little at Beca's shirt, the edges in her grasp trying to pull Beca back to her. Chloe didn't care if anyone saw them, certainly not Jesse.

Beca pulled away. Another step back.

Chloes legs let her go. Chloe stood as Beca brought her shirt across her, did up a few buttons, fumbling. Fiddly digits.

"We're... I'm up here Jess."

The way Beca had said his name reverberated through Chloe. Something about it twisted in her. Jess? The fuck? She didn't know why it bothered her but it did.

"Hey Bec," Chloe didn't like that Jesse said Beca's name the way she did, it was a small thing to be peeved over but she was. "oh hey Chloe, forgot you were here. Shifts almost over, fancy a drink." Stated rather than asked, Chloe noted. "Bring her too." Chloe smiled, fake. He was talking about her and not to her. She started counting to ten in her head. Slow. To stop herself from flipping out. "If you like?"

"Oh no no no no, she's umm, she's going." Beca answered. For her.

"Guess that's my cue to leave." Chloe moved towards the stairs, called back over her shoulder without actually looking back. A biting tone. "Later Beca."

* * *

 

 "We've put together some new choreography to go with the new mix," Aubrey sent Chloe a smile. Small. Then both smiled over at Fat Amy, she sat back looking proud. "Chloe and I will run through the basics now then we'll break it down and go from there." Aubrey waited a beat for Chloe to come join her in front of the Bellas. "Chloe?"

"Oh yeah," Chloe suddenly felt all eyes on her, as hers had turned back to Beca, sitting beside her. "Sorry Bree," Chloe stood from where she leant back against the table where Becas laptop sat, "Beca could you?" A nod of her head.

"Right on top of that Chlo." Beca said playfully, noting that she was the one distracting Chloe. She really fucking liked that feeling. Desire. Pointed directly at her. She felt it coming off Jesse when they hung out, worked together, whatever but that made her feel awkward. Chloe's desire towards her made her feel powerful. Alive.

And the music began.

Chloe and Aubrey moved in complete synchronisity. It was beautiful. Charged. They all smiled, seeing how Beca's mix had been tweaked a little from what they had heard a few days earlier, and how Aubrey and Chloe's moves fit together with the song. Totally different from the awkward basic moves they had been taught off of Aubrey for the last performance they had done at the frat mixer.

Now they could tell they had something. Something half way descent. New. Theirs.

Beca smiled, but like only with her eyes, as she had her bottom lip snagged between her teeth. She watched Chloe's arms.

A lot.

Thankful for the sleeveless top Chloe had worn. A bit too bright blue for her liking but fuck who cares? Those arms. And like amazed that the shade of blue somehow made Chloe's eyes seem even bluer. Even brighter than she knew they were. Eyes that were on her. And didn't leave her.

A flip. Her stomach.

A skip. Her heart.

In Beca's mind she saw herself and Chloe in the room. Alone. Beca saw herself going over and joining Chloe. Matching her move for move, like they had at the last party at the Bella house. Like they had at Ashley's gig. But this time she wouldn't run. No need. It was just the two of them after all, in her mind. Why did other people have to exist? Then suddenly in a blur she see's Chloe next to her. No in front of her? She can't keep up with her own mind. She saw herself bent over Chloe as Chloe is on the table in front of her. Splayed out ready for her. And Beca can almost taste Chloe's skin. Strawberry. Beca can recall the taste of Chloe's coffee on her tongue. Almost too sweet, but she's craving more. She wants it all.

All of Chloe.

Beca swallowed hard and blinked and the vision of them cleared from her mind and she's watching Chloe's hips a lot more than she would like anyone to know about. It hurts. That's how much she wants to feel those hips in her hands, against her own. Hurts because Beca knows what they do feel like in her hands and against her own, and she wants to feel that again. When her eyes do wander up Chloe's torso as the music finishes she finds Chloe's eyes with a cheeky twinkle, a knowing twinkle, a twinkle that said 'I know exactly what you were thinking about Mitchell' and with a wink from Chloe directed and fired straight into her chest, she swears that yeah, Chloe Beale is a mind reader.

Stacie smiled. Like she ever stopped when in the presence of Aubrey. Aub looked so free. From the more relaxed work out clothes she was currently wearing, to how she wore her hair loose. Pale powder blue top, that hugged her slender figure tight, she smirked at how Aubrey and Chloe had clearly gotten ready together for the rehearsal. Matching outfits. Aubrey looked like she was glowing. Ethereal. Like she could set Stacie aflame, a total knock out. Stacie couldn't wait to try the moves out for herself.

She had been in class all day and had just made the rehearsal, and afterwards she needed to go back to the lab to finish up but she'd promised Aubrey she would be there. And so she was. Even if it did cut right in the middle of her class. She'd make it up later. And make having to split on whatever plans Aubrey probably had for the Bella's for the night up to Aub with some moves of her own.

Aubrey had acknowledged her need for help, one small gesture and it had such an effect already. She felt at ease, felt closer to the women, and if they were to win, and she would win, it would take all of them. Together.

Beca had been nervous about the rehearsal today, she knew it would take all her concentration to keep her cool around Chloe. Up until Chloe she had never seriously thought of acting upon her attraction to a woman. And she had had attraction to women, but yeah she was too chicken shit scared to admit it. She had thought of the attraction like a thing every woman must feel about women, just there but it had been drummed into her that it was man and woman. So like never ever in a million years did she see herself seeking it out. Never thought it would actually happen to her. And then she had met Chloe. And all those doubts went out the window. Her time was now.

Chloe glanced over to see Becas reaction once she and Aubrey were done. Breaths shallow. Smiles wide, at least Chloe's was. Aubrey's smile looked more anxious. At the entire group, the Bella's all smiled back, cheered, clapped, whooped.

Yeah they could totally do this. As one.

Chloe beamed at Beca, expecting to catch Beca staring at her but Becas eyes were downcast. Chloes sunshine of a smile faltered. She wanted Becas approval. She wanted Beca's attention. On her. Just. Her. She wanted Beca. Why weren't Beca's eyes on her like they had been before?

It had really impressed Chloe when Beca had turned up the next morning after the party with her own mix, and had continued to work on it when she should have been working at the station. The change in attitude, to want to help, to want to be a part of the Bellas. To want to be there with her, with all of them. Okay, maybe Beca reaching out to help had nothing to do with her. But come on, it totally did.

Totally.

Did she just see a hint of a smirk on Becas face?

The cocky.

The confident.

The one she wanted to take charge of this dance, the metaphorical one, the flirting, and just fucking do something about it. Like actually ask her out. Not that she didn't appreciate Beca pouncing on her at any given opportunity, but it was, if she was to be completely honest with herself, making her feel cheap. Used. Dirty.

Chloe couldn't take much more of it. She was buzzing for contact from Beca, from the contact off Beca. She needed more. And well yeah she had eased a bit of the tension she had been feeling, her hands were Beca's in her mind at night, thankful for having a room in the Bella house to herself.

Beca looked up at Chloe. Slow. Slowly, slower and slower so she could take it all in. Her eyes appreciating every inch of her. She took in every single part of the body in front of her like it was Holy.

Like?

Was.

Is.

It was and she'd worship at the foot of Chloe.

What? Where did her mind go there? Beca broke into an embarrassed smile as her eyes met Chloe's. She tried to recover and winked. Beca winked, the veil of confidence once again enrobing her, a click of her tongue. A nod.

Chloe gave her a little nod in return. Courteous. Trying to hide how turned on she was right there by the Beca confidence. She's not saying she wants to go over to Beca and mount her lap right there and then. Well yeah she does. But its not just that. It's something more. A twist in her stomach. An 'oh no' feeling, every look that passes between them. Both knowing. Both know the other is falling. Something child like, innocent. The small glances, the wordless interactions made Beca forget to breathe. Becas smile grew and reassured Chloe the choreography was on point. It warmed Chloe insides gaining Becas approval.

Reassuring Chloe reassured herself, everything might be okay. It really just might, Mitchell.

Right?

If she only remembered to breathe once in a while.

Cynthia raised her hand, Aubrey having trained them that raising your hand was the polite way, the none chaotic way of doing things. Her way. Aubrey smiled because they were following her guidelines. Her rules. Stacie quirked her eye brow as Aubrey straightened and her attention was called over to Cynthia. Very schoolmistress indeed, Stacie mused. Her eyes never having left Aubrey.

Hands firmly on her hips Aubrey.

Perspiring Aubrey.

The hunter had locked in on her prey. Maybe just maybe Stacie would skip the rest of her class and spend the rest of the day with Aub.

Aubrey had not even looked at her during the routine. Aubrey was strictly business when it came to winning. Came to the Bellas. It's not like she couldn't feel Stacie's eyes on her the entire time. And it's not like she didn't love it. She really fucking did. It made her move with more purpose, she knew if she could channel that raw energy that Stacie was full of, that Stacie inspired in her. If they could all feel the way Stacie made her feel, then there's no chance in hell they wouldn't win.

Aubrey knew they had to show their love. Their fury. Their passion.

Win. Win. Win.

Her father had always wanted her to go into sports, but when she had taken an interest in music, he had agreed to let her pursue it as long as she was still a winner. The Posens don't tolerate losers. A sentence drummed into her since before she can remember.

"Yes?" Aubrey nodded in Cynthia's direction.

"At that sexy part? Do we get to pick partners?" Cynthia smiled over widely at Stacie. Stacie glanced at her sideways, the first time her eyes had left Aubrey the entire meeting and when they returned to Aubrey, Aubreys eyes had eventually found hers. Aubreys eyes grew dark.

Stacie felt the intense emotion radiating from Aubrey, sudden. And as sudden it was gone.

Big smile replaced it. Hiding her true passion. The mask of poise. Of a leader.

"Yeah can we?" Ashley asked. She looped her arm around Jessica chair. "Cause then I pick this one."

Jessica smiled, she was always smiling to be fair, looking happy to just be there, hoping for the day she could be Captain of the Bellas and scrunched her nose at Ashley, then they both turned to look up at Aubrey with hope in their eyes.

"Chloe and I have already assigned spots throughout the mix. Chloe?"

"Oh yeah… sorry." She went over to the table where Beca still leant against her laptop. Chloe reached over Beca to the handouts Aubrey had her print out for the Bellas. Chloe smirked as she swore she heard a sharp intake of breath as she passed over Beca. Chloe glanced over her shoulder at Beca as she oh so purposely took her sweet time gathering the papers.

Damn it! Beca swallowed loudly wetting her lips, her mouth suddenly the Sahara. Remember that thing we humans call breathing? Do. That. Mitchell.

Breathe.

Beca tried to hide the pounding in her chest, she thinks she hid it well as she gave Chloe another small wink. Almost unnoticeable. No big dramatics like just before. Small, personal, genuine. She just couldn't help it, fake confidence until you feel it, Mitchell.

It was Chloe's turn to lose the air in her lungs. She hid it better than Beca had. Chloe's not backing off. Not backing down. She knows what she wants. Who she wants. But she's not going to fall into the same trap, a shameful fuck. A hidden relationship if this was where it was heading.

She'd never do that again. Ever.

Still she's respectful. Chloe tries and tries to convince herself that she can cope if they never really happen. She totally can. If her and Beca are just a what could've been then she enjoyed it all up until now. Chloe gathered her composure as she went around the girls handing out the work sheets.

Once they all had one Aubrey relaxed. Nobody would be questioning her set out.

Cynthia's face dropped when she saw she wasn't paired with Stacie. She saw the smile glowing between Stacie and Aubrey, as Aubrey walked over, offering her hand to Stacie.

Stacie took it, feeling, liking how warm Aubreys hand was in hers. How perfect.

Aubrey pulled her up. Close.

"You did fantastic." Stacie whispered to Aubrey.

"I know." Aubrey pecked Stacie's cheek. She sounded confident but appreciated the vote of confidence. "Thank you."

She really liked that as composed Aubrey looked to everyone, that she could tell she was nervous, and still finding her footing as the leader of the Bellas. Still finding her footing in letting others help.

"Lesbi-honest, Cynthia," Fat Amy leaned over to her. "You know you ain't coming between those two. Right?"

"Come on Pitches!" Aubrey turned to them all. "Let's get started!"

"Alright!" Amy said as loud back to Aubrey, but from Aubreys striking whip of a look directed at Fat Amy she shrunk back, but still had to, she couldn't completely back down, muttered under her breath "Calm your tits."

An hour passed, maybe just a half hour but it felt longer. As good as Chloe and Aubrey had danced to the mix, everyone else just wasn't getting it. And it pissed Aubrey off that Beca kept sitting down at her laptop and trying to work on the mix.

"-But it's crap! Sorry Satan, but it is!"

"Satan now?" Aubrey looked around her for support. "Really?" She was met with silence. She guessed they all agreed with Beca. "Screw you all!" She stormed passed everyone, towards the side exit. "I'm done!"

"You don't quit!" Chloe shouted after her. "It's practically your families motto!" Chloe ran after her. "Bree!"

"Yeah everyone take five..." Stacie caught up to Chloe just before she exited the building, placed a hand on Chloe's arm, turned her towards her.

"I'm co-captain, Stacie," Chloe smiled up at Stacie. "I'll handle-."

"-No no," Both hands on Chloe now. Reassuring. A smile. Determined. "I got this."


	17. Chapter 17

Stacie rounded the corner of the building, expecting to see Aubrey leaning against the side, maybe having a stress cigarette taken out of Chloe's bag on the way, but Aubrey was fast, she was almost to her car.

"Aub!"

"No don't-"

"-Come back, please!"

"No! I'm done!"

"Stop please just...You don't even have your car keys Aub." Stacie had caught up to her. Aubrey stood, back to Stacie, shaking. Stacie wanted to reach out, turn Aubrey to face her but she needed Aubrey to do that herself. She knew it was the only way Aubrey would come back, if it was her own decision.

"Well go get them for me."

"I'm not going to do that."

"Well I can't face going back in there. They all hate me, they think I'm a total jerk!"

"Please, you don't have to come back in, at least not right away, just-just don't leave."

Aubrey turned, crashed into Stacie. Stacie stumbled back a little. Aubrey's lips on Stacie's neck, hands went straight to Stacie's boobs.

"Hey no," Stacie stepped back. Aubrey stepped straight back into her space, her lips went to Stacie's mouth this time. Aubrey needed Stacie's touch to calm her down. "Aub." Her name a warning, a warning that Aubrey ignored, as Stacie put her hands up in front of her. Another step back. Aubrey was still shaking, but now more with the need for Stacie, the anger channelled and focused on Stacie. "What are you-"

"-Chloe would've..." She strangled the words back.

"W-Would have... Chloe would have what?"

"Nothing." Aubrey said quickly, stepping close to Stacie again. Taking Stacie's hands in hers. Aubrey moved to kiss her again. Anything to detract Stacie from probing about Chloe.

"Nothing?" Stacie pulled her hands out of Aubrey's. "Chloe. Would have. What?"

"It doesn't matter." Aubrey pleaded. Stacie nodded. She knew how stubborn Aubrey was, she wasn't going to get anywhere when Aubrey's emotions were running so high.

Stacie filed it away, something to be dealt with at a time that wasn't right now. Cause right now they had Sectionals in two days. So she let it go. Whatever the fuck it was. But she was done trying to gently coax Aubrey back inside. There wasn't time for that. Time for a change in tactics.

"You're their leader so get back in their and lead!" A beat. Aubrey's eyes wide. Surprised at Stacie's shift in tone. Was she about to go too far, had she already? "Dammit!"

Aubrey looked up at the sternness in Stacies face, along her arm at where her finger pointed. She was right. Stacie always knew what was needed. What she needed.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome?"

A kiss. Light. To her cheek. Stacie froze, she wasn't expecting that reaction from Aubrey, then her stomach swarmed and her knees barely held her up, shit. Shit she really had fallen for Aub. Shit it felt wonderful. Shocking? Yeah she was shocked, sure she and Aubrey had moved really fast. Stacie knew sex was healthy and Aubrey liked her, she liked Aubrey so being together was a no brainer. She had figured Aubrey out straight away, uptight and controlling but she knew she could handle her and Aubrey got her off. Aubrey was hot. Stacie had too many other things to use her intelligence on whilst she was at Barden, so yeah Aubrey had been a fantastic easy choice she had made. It wasn't until right there that she realised it was so much deeper than her physical reactions and attraction towards Aubrey. She was in this with her heart too. Shit. Fuck. What the shit would Chloe had done?

"Thank you."

Aubrey reiterated. A warm smile given to Stacie fully and appreciative. She took one of Stacie's hands in her own again and gave it a small squeeze. Assurance. And walked past her and back inside.

Stacie stood frozen, literally unable to move as this epiphany of having fallen in love with Aubrey washed over her, warmed her in the cold bitter evening. She smiled dopily to herself. It wasn't like Stacie hadn't realised she liked Aubrey. A lot. But this, right now, wow. Rolled her eyes at herself a little, bro, how did it take her so long to voice it even to herself?

Why now?

Seconds ago she's stopping Aubrey pouncing on her because she knew it wasn't right. But she knew Aubrey was right for her. The one for her. Her only.

Why the fuck now?

Love wasn't logical. No matter how she tried to make it make sense. It didn't.

* * *

 

"Right Pitches, we're going to have to do the old set for sectionals," Aubrey ignored Becas pained look, maybe that's how she always looked. "I take all the blame for that," Stacie slipped in the door. Aubrey looked up, a stern but thankful look to Stacie. "We basically pissed about instead of focusing on the set."

"I worked so hard on that."

Stacie shot Beca a look, yeah they were friends. And she certainly wouldn't spill the beans about her and Chloe, just because she was feeling pissed at Chloe right now. Stacie knew she shouldn't be feeling angry at Chloe but she was. And Stacie knew she had little justification as to why she was feeling this way other than two little words that made no sense to her that Aubrey had said and therefore none of any facts, yet, but Beca couldn't complain about shit. She had slacked off the same as the rest of them, spending more time, Stacie mused, working her way into Chloe's pants, than anything a capella related.

Stacie and Aubrey had been the same, they all had slacked off, so she wasn't going to call her on it in any way but she wasn't having anyone blame Aub for this fuck up.

"I don't care." Chloe turned to shoot Aubrey a look of disbelief, rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. "I mean I do," Aubrey said to Chloe. A sigh. "I do," Eyes back to the group "and thank you, everyone, for how far we've come but we just don't have time to perfect the new mix yet. I say we go back to the old one, mix in some new choreography at least and-"

"-We just doing the old one so you can practice the new one some more with Chloe?" Cynthia interrupted, Aubrey shrank back a little. Cynthia saw and smiled. Smug. She'd gotten under Aubrey's skin.

"Trust me, C, Bree doesn't need any practice."

"Can we at least keep this sexy bit?" Jessica looked up hopefully from where she was currently bent over, and Ashley was behind her mock slapping her ass.

"Yes actually." Aubrey smiled. It looked painful. Felt painful. But she was trying to get them back on side so yeah she'd keep that bit in to please them. With a few changes. "But I'm gonna switch it up some. It's not really working yet." Aubrey knew it was working too well when she had watched Beca and Chloe practising that bit. She didn't like that one bit.

"But we're performing in two days Bree," Chloe wasn't having Aubrey change it up. No way. No how. All practice Beca had been coming more and more out her shell with her. Publicly. Without alcohol. Sure they were dancing together as part of the performance but Beca had been cocky in a really sexy way all day with her. It felt so natural, their banter and Chloe wasn't going to let Aubrey take that away in any way. "Maybe we should just keep it the way we have it?"

"Sure Chloe." Aubrey agreed, she was done fighting. Hopefully she would find her fighting spirit again once they had gotten through Sectionals and gained a place at Regionals. But right now it was gone. She was barely holding on. Then because she had agreed with Chloe she felt Stacie's eyes on her. Analysing. Aubrey sighed, why did she almost let shit slip about Chloe?

Chloe looked over at Beca, shocked, wanting to share a glance, a look with Beca over Aubrey backing down to her but Beca was back at her laptop. She looked up, a small smile, lip bit, and stood. Beca rubbed her hands together as she went straight over to Chloe. Took Chloe's hands in both of hers. Her eyes focused on them in her grasp as she took a steadying breath and looked up into Chloe's eyes. The way Chloe's eyes looked startled made her smile.

"What are you doing later?"

"I've got to run back to class Aubrey." Stacie cut in loud over the noise of the women.

"Now?" Aubrey went to her, placed her hand on her arm.

"Yeah now." Stacie pulled away.

"Stace-"

"-You and Chloe got this covered."

* * *

 

Stacie returned from the lab.

Late.

She walked into the house to find Aubrey flat out asleep on the couch. With Chloe. On opposite ends of the couch, legs tangled in the middle. Half a cup of cold green tea beside Aubrey on the table, two empty bottles of wine and two glasses on the floor and on the television it read 'Are You Still Watching?' on the Netflix screen.

Stacie slowly closed her eyes, put her bag on the floor beside her, and rubbed her hands over her face. She was being stupid. Aubrey and Chloe were best friends.

Only.

Not only, that's a big relationship in a persons life so yeah of course they were close. Maybe closer than her and Aubrey were in some ways. And that was just something she would have to get used to if she really wanted to be with Aubrey for the long run.

And she did.

"Hey, sweetie." The pet name felt wrong in Stacie's mouth but she felt disconnected from her, she just couldn't say her name, tried to, but it stuck to her tongue. She patted Aubrey until Aubrey's eyes opened and found hers. "Hey, you want me to grab a blanket for you two?"

"No no go up, I'll follow," Aubrey stretched and yawned. Pretended she didn't pick up the accusatory tone Stacie had used. "...you up in a sec."

Stacie nodded. She had to trust, so she picked up her bag off of the floor and headed up the stairs. She needed a shower to relax her muscles before bed and another early start. Yes tomorrow was the last day before Sectionals but she thought she could cram some lab work in before lunch and the last run through with the Bellas.

She let the shower run over her as she sort of was wishing Aubrey would just come up, come in and join her. Stacie heard the bedroom door open, close. As she ran her hands down her body. Her nipples stiffening to her own touch. She turned the temperature of the shower a tad colder. Then reached and grabbed the mint source shower gel. She liked how it tingled her body when she used it.

When she came out the shower, towel around her, feet leaving wet marks across the floor she walked through and found Aubrey asleep in their bed. Theirs.

She sat on the edge of the bed, watching Aubrey sleep as she dried herself off before climbing into bed next to Aubrey. Naked. Stacie lay on her back. Staring into the abyss.

Aubrey woke with the movement of Stacie, she turned over to face her, her arms wrapped around herself.

"Stace?" She whispered into the darkness. Silence. Aubrey wanted to reach out, touch Stacie. She was lying beside her naked under the covers for crying out loud. Aubrey was already turned on. It took a lot of Aubrey's mental ability and will power to function when Stacie was near her. Having to move what Stacie made her feel into a separate part of herself so she could indeed function normally. Aubrey had been thinking about her and how to make it up to Stacie all night but if she really asked or indicated that something was to be made up for then that was admitting there had been. Was? A problem.

"We're good." Aubrey moved to thread her fingers with Stacie across Stacie's stomach. She licked her lips as she saw how hard Stacie's nipples already were and moved her head, peppering kisses on way down tasting the mint bodywash Stacie used until she took one in her mouth. Stacie's body tensed. "Don't..." Aubrey twirled her tongue, sucked and let Stacie's nipple go with a wet pop. "I've..." A shuddered breath. Aubrey felt Stacie's legs move against hers. Stacie felt how wet she was and tried to ignore her desire. "I've got an early start." Her eyes swept over Aubreys, she saw the hurt? Confusion. She had to ignore how that look made her feel. Wrong. She didn't want to be harsh to Aubrey but she couldn't react any other way, she tried to soften the blow. A bit. "That's all."

Stacie half turned to face Aubrey and placed a kiss on her head.

"Sure?" Aubrey asked, her fingers playing with Stacies. Stacie placed another kiss this time on Aubrey's lips, but as she felt Aubrey's begin to move against hers, kiss back, she pulled away. The kiss was only meant to reassure. To convince, to try at least, that everything was actually fine. Not as a first move towards sex. She needed it, needed the release, she felt so angry, no, confused? Confused as to why she felt so angry towards Aubrey. Towards Chloe. Like she had, no, well little justification as to why but she felt it. But she just didn't want the release she knew Aubrey could so easily give her. So she spurned Aubrey to spite herself.

"Sure."

* * *

 

"Hey, Beca, there's some bro saying he's your bro here to see you."

"She hasn't got time for that Stace!" Aubrey turned, paced, and turned again, paced, and turned.

"Uh… William?" A gasp. "He's umm..." A smile. "...what?"

"Yeah William, that was it." Stacie ignored Aubrey and focused on Beca. "He's out front for you."

"Uhhh thanks." Big smile. Nervous. But wide.

"Where are you going?" Aubrey shouted after her. But she was mostly already gone. "Becky!"

* * *

 

"Hey…" Hair nervously pushed behind her ear. He turned. Smile as wide as hers was about to be.

"Don't just stand there sis, give your big brother a hug." She squealed when he enveloped her, lifting her off the ground a little in the process. "Ohhh sorry," As William put her down. "I want you to meet Edgar." He motioned to the man on his left. "This is my fiancé. Fiancé meet my little sis."

"Gimme a hug!" She went to tentatively move in for a hug, but he swooped her up too.

"Ooh!" Beca squealed. Delight. Then felt instant embarrassment. "Hello!"

* * *

 

"We're up in like ugh…" Aubrey turned. Paced. "Where is she!?"

"She'll be here," Chloe stepped in front of her. "Bree?" Hands on Aubrey's shoulders. "Breathe."

* * *

 

"Ok Frodo," She squinted at him. Playfully. Stuck her tongue out at him. "You should be getting back, go knock them dead sis."

"Sweet, thanks, I-we will. You gonna stick around after?"

"As long as Dad's not here, of course." She rolled her eyes at William, of course not. "Then sure. We can take you all out for drinks after, get to know your friends…"

"Yeah, that'd be, yeah sweet," She giggled and headed back inside, not before giving both of them a hug. "...awesome."

"Now get!"

* * *

 

"Jesus! We almost had to go on without you!"

Aubrey turned, but Chloe held her.

Chloe soothed her.

Stacie just watched them.

Chloe's hands firmly on Aubrey's shoulders.

That was normal touching for friends. She repeated over and over. She was usually so logical but Aubrey was her weakness. Why did it make her stomach churn?

Aubrey nodded. Eyes focused on Chloe's big calming blue eyes. Chloe leant up and hugged Aubrey. Tight.

"You good?" Chloe asked.

"We good." Aubrey nodded. "Thanks Chloe."

* * *

 

The lights bright, Beca could barely see the crowd. She could hear them, and they were into their set. However bad she thought it was but they had added in 'Don't You (Forget About Me)' into the mix, and just as Beca had felt at the bar, she felt now. Felt the college crowd into it, although like at this stage she's pretty sure the audience is made up of all the other a capella groups friends and family. So yeah they would be into it. But whatever, she's taking this win.

She's sure Aubrey would take a win any which way too.

"Chlo?"

Beca was breathing heavy, smiling wide and looking across at the most talented amazing woman she had ever met. The performance was stellar and a winner for sure, she felt so proud of all the women, she felt her heart swell. The fuck? What the shit? Beca Mitchell cared. About all of them, to an extent.

She remembered back to the previous day, that after the long ass night she had felt forever ago. She had asked Chloe out, with actual words, confidence built up over the day, and directed straight at that damn red head. Every one was there. Every one. And Chloe had shot her down. All eyes on her. On them. She took it hard. Left the rehearsal as soon as she reasonably could after that and holed up with her laptop, swaddled in an old hooded faded grey sweatshirt belonging to her brother, green fluffy bed socks and Batman pyjama bottoms, feeling as cool as she looked. Not very. And she mixed and hardly slept, like not at all, hence the long ass night.

Beca had mixed 'Wicked Game' with the song they had danced to, that had been leading somewhere, mainly up some stairs and presumably along a hallway and into a room that belonged to Chloe and pushed back onto a bed, not a bed, Chloe's bed, before she had chicken shitted the fuck out, a song she couldn't get out her head, 'Do Ya Like', and wasn't even really sure she wanted to get the song out of her head. Getting it out of her head would be like getting rid of the image of Chloe that was always behind her eye lids.

Beca was thankful that Kimmy Jin was out. Not only because she had sang the lyrics to both songs that she had over lain and twisted into a totally new unfamiliar sounding melody whilst putting the track together but because of the emotions it had drawn out of her when she had. Fuck Chloe, she had cried, and had to do way too many takes to find one that was clear, without a sob, but they all had the sound of pain in them, all had the breaking of her heart in the sound of the cracking of her voice.

It was sad. And like very much on the side of pathetic.

Beca rolled her eyes at herself, thinking back to the night before because she had been so over dramatic, but it had all felt over to her when Chloe had shot her down with no reasoning. No explanation. But then she had realised the next day, today when they had all met up for one last run through that Chloe was the same with her as she had been during the rehearsal the previous day, flirty and cute and warm and kind and so fucking sexy and just Chloe, that it meant that Chloe hadn't meant anything by it. By shutting her down. It hadn't meant any of what her brain had conjured up the night before. The sun like actually cleared away the murky emotional cobwebs spun by the dancing spiders created by her imagination. It was all her imagination running away with her. Hopefully. Mostly.

Chloe was being Chloe. Chloe was being there for her best friend. Chloe was concentrating on winning. Chloe had other things in her life apart from her.

And Beca realised that the way she had felt the night previous, if that was how it actually was, that Chloe was done with her, was all her own doing. Beca had nobody to blame but herself. That she couldn't take the chance that she would, could, push Chloe away any more. Her time was now.

Beca wanted to be a part of Chloe's life, outside of a cappella, she wanted to know everything about her, from the stupid small things like was Chloe more a zombie or vampire type of gal, what was her favourite soda, did she like Pez as much as Beca did, what was her go to happy song or who was her favourite Stooge, to the big life changing events that made up who Chloe was on a fundamental level and mostly Beca wanted to be there to build new memories with her. She wanted her. And so she was not in any way going to let her set back yesterday stop what she knew she had to do. What she didn't think she could do. But like fuck it? Right. She could see Chloe's heart pounding too, her pulse in her throat beating as fast as hers was.

Beca felt her tongue tingle.

She was shaking.

She could. Just fucking. Do. It.

What was stopping her?

Herself?

Choose happiness.

Shoot first.

Little Beca effin' Mitchell had a heart, and heart eyes. She could feel Chloe's soft gaze moving over her face down to her lips, and Chloe leaning in. No, she, Beca Mitchell was the one leaning in, it just took her a moment, a beat, to realise. The realisation made her heart race even faster. She wasn't feeling scared. Not now. Up here with that damn red head. That damn red head that she knew she had fallen for the moment she had met her and it had taken her way too long, she had wasted too much time, to not do this.

"May I?"

Think never.

"Hmmm?" Chloe's eyes darted up from their focus on Beca's lips to solely on Beca's eyes. An icy storm with hidden depths of cruelty that Chloe knew had the potential to tear her apart and utterly ruin her, but she couldn't help not caring, Chloe knew Beca had that power over her as the crowd in front of them cheered, clapped, whooped.

Beca focused and fought against her instincts to mumble, to umm, to make a joke or a snarky remark, fought it hard and won.

"Can this basketcase get her princess?"

Chloe's smile was intoxicating as Beca moved closer.

She couldn't wait for an answer.

If she waited a second longer she would lose her bravado.

Her eyes wanted to look up and find Chloe's, make sure this was all okay, but she couldn't look away from those full lips as she moved hers slowly over Chloe's.

A kiss.

It was Chloe that moved an inch back just as Beca went to kiss Chloe again and flick her tongue over Chloe's bottom lip, far enough away to gage Becas reaction.

She found Becas eyes closed and she waited for Beca to open them, her breathing ceased as she waited, and waited, wanting to know for darn sure this was really what Beca wanted and then Beca surged forward.

Chloe felt Beca whimper against her lips as she took Chloes lips in a longer deeper kiss. Chloe kissed back just not as hard as she wanted to, she held back a little, still unsure because Beca had kissed her in front of fucking everyone.

It wasn't until Beca brought her hand into Chloe's hair, that Chloe returned the kiss as fierce.

The noise of the crowd fading as all they could hear was their hearts beating, pounding in their chests.

Stacie gently jabbed Aubrey in the side, cocked her head to motion for her to look behind her. The scene made her smile. Chloe and Beca were still a thing. She hadn't heard anything more, nor had she asked Chloe about how things had been going between her and Beca, but it made all stupidly pent up anger towards Chloe go away.

Aubrey turned her head and followed her gaze, her big smile faltered. Aubreys eyes grew angry but all that was all washed away as Stacie pulled her back around. Snaking her arm around her waist, pulling on her blazer and into their own kiss.

Aubrey grabbed a hold of the sides of Stacies white shirt, pulled her down closer, thankful to be feeling Stacie's lips on her own again, feeling passion instead of the coldness she had felt in her last kiss with Stacie. Stacie made her forget all about how angry she felt towards Beca only seconds earlier. Stacies mouth on hers, kissing all her tension away.

Fat Amy cocked her eyebrow towards Cynthia, jokingly but hey, Amy thought, this could tip them to a dead cert win, a bit of girl on girl action for the crowd.

And it did. They were through.

Not that Beca gave a shit about that right now.

She was kissing Chloe. Chloe was kissing her. They were fucking kissing.

Publicly.

Beca fought back the shivers that were running through her, electric. Could she really feel this fucking happy? It was kinda really a lot making her brain explode.

The sound of the crowd filtered back in. They barely pulled away from one another, only because they needed to breathe. Arms looped around each others necks as they shared a smile. One smile. Their smile. A smile that was saving Beca second by second from madness.

"Yes." Chloe pecked a few light kiss to the side of Beca's wide smile, then to her cheek. "Yes but you're the Princess."

"Fuck you." Beca muttered.

"Later." Chloe winked.

"I ain't no Princess." Beca drew Chloe down into another kiss. And another, and which each kiss her confidence to kiss Chloe more grew and so she did. Over and over. Happier and happier. Then another. And another and another until she felt her lips bruising. She pulled back enough take in Chloe's smile. "Khaleesi maybe, but no Princess."

"Yes. You are." Chloe mumbled against her lips as Beca kissed her again. "You're my Princess."

"I'm gonna barf," Beca pulled back a little. "Aubrey style if you ever say that again."

"You're..." Beca quietened Chloe with more kisses as Chloe mumbled into Beca's mouth. "...Mine."


	18. Chapter 18

"It was all just part of the set dad..." Beca couldn't breathe. Feeling six years old under his gaze again. "...God!"

He had been in the back of the crowd, he wasn't going to miss his little girls show. But he was sickened at what he had witnessed.

"So none of them are..?" He removed his glasses, cleaned them, replaced them. "...Cause I can and I will shut down the group, Rebecca."

He had headed straight back stage even before it was announced that the Barden Bella's were through to Regionals, and caught up to Beca. He had ushered her into a secluded corner of the corridor as the rest of the Bellas headed to get changed.

"No it.." She fought a shiver at how he said her name. "It was just I dunno they wanted to do something provocative." She ran her hand through her hair, nervous. "...Guess it worked."

"Rebecca I'm just looking out for you," She knew that was a lie and it would take him two seconds to get to the truth. "...and what you do directly reflects on me."

And there it was. The truth.

A small eye roll, she couldn't help it, hoped he would let it go.

Always him. His station.

"No dad I would never do that to you." He didn't pick up on her sarcastic tone. And if he did, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Damn right. As long as no one there is…" This made her hate herself. All over again. All steps forwards were being pushed backwards.

"No dad, nobody in an a capella group is gay."

That shut him up for a bit, she felt how uncomfortable her even saying the word 'gay' had made him. She liked making him shut the hell up for a bit. But then regretted it. This was like a scene from her child hood, but she was in Williams role, standing in his shoes arguing at night in the kitchen with his dad, her dad, and look how that had turned out. He could and would fuck up her life.

And she cared.

Fuck!

She cared now. He could shut down the Bellas. The Bellas that it was suddenly apparent to her she actually gave a shit about. He could throw her out of college, take away all her money, then where would she be left?

Fuck.

"So umm is there..." He rubbed the back of his neck, Beca cringed at that, seeing herself in him. In his mannerisms. They were her mannerisms. "Is there a special guy you've met since you've been here Rebecca?"

"Umm yeah actually," Her mouth was moving, "I was gonna stop by later," She didn't know what she was saying but words were still coming out. "to ask if I could bring him to Christmas lunch."

Oh boy this was a lie she would have to follow through with.

Live with.

Shoot first. Think never.

"Hey Bec, we're heading out-" Chloe cut herself off when Beca's father turned and gave her a look of disgust. She shrank back. Confused. "Umm... Bec?"

"Is this her?" One hand on his hip as he turned back to Beca, hand running over his hair.

"Chlo, please, umm, just give us, give me a moment."

Aubrey broke away from Stacie's hold of her around her waist, as she saw the panic in Chloe's eyes. In Chloe's whole demeanour. It flashed through her mind that maybe she shouldn't go to Chloe, but as it flashed through her mind she was already by Chloe's side.

Aubrey would always be by Chloe's side.

"Hey Chloe," She linked her arm into Chloe, and pulled her away. "...come on let's leave them alone."

"I don't want you associating with her Rebecca." He sighed. "No more than you need to anyways. Concentrate on your studies." He was embarrassed and wanted to leave. "You know I only want what's best for you right?"

"Yeah," He brought his little girl into a hug, embraced her. "Yeah," Beca half heartily hugged him back, face against his chest. "Of course dad."

"Good girl."

* * *

 

William - Congrats Frodo, you did me and yourself proud, really sorry we took off after, saw dad, got into a your-no-son-of-mine fight. Again. Sorry. Hope we can take you out tomorrow. It was really great seeing you though anyway sis. Call me. xxxx

read 18:48

* * *

 

Chloe - Coming out for celebratory drinks?

read 19:34

Chloe - Pre-drinks at the Bella house at 9, see you there?

read 19:57

Chloe Missed Call 21:11

Chloe - We're heading out, call me if you're joining and I'll let ya know where we are :)

She initially put 'when you're joining' but found it felt too presumptuous. Changed it. Didn't want to come on too strong. Chloe had been told about that before.

read 21:56

Chloe - Everything ok?

read 22:28

She wanted to ask if they were okay, but she didn't want to entertain the idea that they weren't. Because no way could they be, they had gotten through Sectionals, and sort of more important to Chloe right now, something she would never admit to Aubrey, but it meant way more to her that Beca had kissed her. In front of everyone. So yeah, they had to be good. There was no alternative.

Chloe Missed Call 23:36

Chloe - Gimme a call

delivered

She wanted to add 'Please' but it sounded desperate in her head, and yeah she'd had a few drinks but she wasn't ready to be sounding desperate to talk to, to see Beca. She was. Damn had she texted and called her too much already? Yeah. Yeah probably but jeepers, Beca had kissed her. Not just kissed her. But she'd kissed her in front of everyone. She just kept repeating the moment that over and over, playing it out on a big screen behind her eye lids every time she blinked.

And now. What?

Beca had read her messages, well okay not the last one but yeah she had seen the others, no reply. Screened her calls. Nothing. And nobody was asking her about it. It was the elephant in the room. Fat Amy, she could tell, had heard whispers, had asked Stacie, but she didn't know what Stacie had said. Hoped she hadn't said anything. If Beca was retracting back in her shell, Chloe knew the last thing she needed was gossiping Bellas. That wasn't going to help one iota.

More drinks flowed and everyone was having a great time. Chloe tried to act like she was, but she figured Aubrey would see that it was all a front, come find her and talk it all out with her. Come and comfort her but Aubrey hadn't left Stacie's side all night. So she danced and drank, and every time she went out for a cigarette she'd pull out her phone, hoping for a text. Hoping for a call. Hoping that she Beca would miraculously just be out there waiting for her. Yeah right.

Chloe - You're missing a great night Bec, be better with you here :)

delivered

Why wasn't Beca even reading them anymore, what did she have to do or say to get her attention?

Chloe Missed Call 00:59

Chloe Missed Call 01:36

Chloe Missed Call 02:14

Chloe Missed Call 03:16

Chloe - I want my hands between your legs, and not in like just I want to fuck you way, but in a you are fucking mine way.

delivered

* * *

 

Chloe woke the next day, late for class, hangover in full swing. As in swinging back and forth in her head, making her feel sick and dizzy. Yep, she was about to hurl. No. She held it in, down. No way she was going to class today. Bed was where she belonged. Bed was where Beca belonged with her, she had a vague memory of someone stopping her as she planned on heading over to see Beca in the wee hours but it was all a fuzzy wuzzy blur. Chloe's head was back under the covers because hello sun, go away.

Chloe reached out the warmth and felt around for her phone. She needed to see if Beca had contacted her. Like now.

Where the fudge was her phone?

She shifted, lifted, felt around outside the covers, and it fell with a thud on the floor. Her phone had been beside her. Well oops. Back in her grasp, and back under the covers, the light of the screen hurt her eyes, but she had to see what Beca had texted her.

She hadn't.

What?

Really?

Nothing?

Nope.

Beca hadn't even read her last message.

Yet. But she would.

Totally.

Her face grew the same shade as her hair as she read and re-read that last text. Yeah she had been wasted when she had sent it. Wasted. Horny. And pissed at Beca.

But it all was true.

Was true last night.

Was true before that.

Was true now.

She checked her facebook. Nothing off Beca there either.

Twitter. Nope.

Instagram. Nope.

Beca's instagram. Nothing posted in over a week.

What?

Chloe wanted to text her, but what? What could Chloe possibly write that didn't sound utterly pathetic. She saw all the missed calls from the night previous and that looked desperate, was desperate, and she was, she was pushing Beca too hard.

Chloe went into her music, brought up the album 'Cheer Up!', linked her phone with her bluetooth speaker. All with great squinting head hurting difficulty, she may add.

And music.

Flowing into her room.

Enveloping her. Hugging her like an old friend.

'You and I are mortal, but rock and roll will never die... ha ha... ahhh... wooh!'

Nope, that hurt her head. Then the horns section started so she left it a little because Chloe could never resist a good horns section in a song.

'I never felt too good but in this world who would, I was always thinking something wasn't right but then you came along and help me sing a song and now I feel okay, I hope it can stay this way-'

Skip. That can do one. The lyrics hit home. Hit her chest, she knew the rest of the lyrics off by heart and she knew they would make her feel even shittier. Music started. Skip. Skip. Drums. Fast. She turned the volume down. But she needed music. Music was like air.

'You say you're down, you can't lose that frown, life sucks. What else is new? That's tough, there's not much you can do. You're not the only one not having any fun...'

She let her phone go, it lay beside her, as she hoped to drift back off to sleep to the music. Ska always comforted. Happy sounding music that dealt with misery and emotions by powering through them with an upbeat rhythm and a cherry tune. Sometimes yeah that's all Chloe needed. Right now that would have to do. So Chloe sang along quietly.

"I'm not giving up yet, that's not the end of me, it's not gonna be all right you'll see, you'll see..."

* * *

 

Days passed. A week? Longer. Felt longer.

All way too long, way too boring, colour drained from the world as Fall took over Barden, and the life was seeping out of Beca's soul. Not that she believed in souls. But if she did, hers was fading. Because it didn't have its other half near it, with it, entangled and making it bright. Again not that Beca would ever think of anything so fucking melodramatic. Except she did. So like fuck off.

Beca was trying to pretend to herself like the kiss never happened. Which was hard because she could still feel Chloe's lips on hers. Like all the time. She would feel a phantom tingle with the memory of kissing Chloe, of Chloe kissing her back. But on she went. Denial. Trying to pretend like none of it had happened. She was trying to retcon the year at Barden so far in her head. All for her father. No. All because of what he would do. He had seen everything. Everything she had been afraid of, she was faced with. And if she still wanted to be with Chloe. Which she didn't. But if she did. Again she didn't. She needed her free ride. She needed to do anything and everything his way to stay there. So she couldn't want Chloe. In. Any. Way.

So Beca went to class.

Beca went to the radio station.

Followed her routine to the letter in a sleep walking daze. Locked all her shit away deep in her chest and just existed.

* * *

 

Had Chloe pushed too much too soon? She felt like they had a thing going. Hadn't they? She felt like she had been respectful of Beca, and had let Beca set their pace so what gave? If Beca was having a freak out about it Chloe just wanted to know. Just wanted to help her through it. Be there for her. Be hers. Chloe needed to talk about it. Talk about it with Beca. If only she could get a hold of her.

She still wasn't answering her calls, texts, dm's, pm's, any fucking thing, and she was never there when she turned up at her room. Not that Chloe had went over much to see if Beca was in, shut up, you would too, or drove by the station, she certainly hadn't done that on the off chance of not so accidentally running into her. No because Chloe was respectful of Beca's boundaries, at least that is what she would tell anyone who cared enough to ask. If Aubrey cared enough to address it, she would lie and say that.

And then Chloe did accidentally bump into Beca. Completely without trying, honest, she was grabbing coffee for her and Aubrey like she always did if they had an early class, and there she was.

Beca.

Beca past her with her own cup of coffee in hand as Chloe stood in line. Chloe stepped out of line to follow her.

Yeah Beca saw her, had frozen, then didn't know what the shit to do and just saw a straight red line between her and the cafe door and followed the imaginary line in her mind. She could do this. Somehow. Just get the fuck out of there now, Mitchell.

"Hey Bec." Chloe may have planned what she was going to say to her over and over but when faced with seeing Beca everything, ever single word, was gone. She knew she sounded pathetic but she was like barely holding it together. Okay. Breathe. In. Breathe. Out. Breathe. In. Breathe. Out. No the Earth will not swallow you up, and no you don't want it to, all Chloe had wanted was to see Beca. So here she was. Get through it.

Beca was hit with Chloe's big smile, but she saw the nervousness, the unsurety, the self doubt in Chloe's eyes. She'd not seen them look like that before. Darkness under them. Eyes not quite as bright as she had remembered. Because of her? Beca had that power? It wasn't a power. Fuck. It was a curse to be able to effect Chloe like that. She never wanted that.

"Umm hey, I'm running late for, umm-" Hand sweeping hair behind her ear. Stop it, Mitchell. Nervous tick. Just get away. Now. If not sooner.

"Oh sure yeah," Chloe's heart was beating so much that if you put your ear to her chest it would sound like a hum. "See you later?"

Beca didn't answer.

A nod.

A small smile.

Fake.

Then Beca was out the cafe.

Beca needed to be out of Chloe's sight, couldn't take those eyes on her. Not those brilliant blue eyes that she could easily fall back into. Not those.

Beca couldn't get away fast enough.

She left a bewildered Chloe standing in line as she raced off as fast as her legs could carry her. Once she was far enough away she backed herself into a corner of the quad, somewhere in the shade and just stood.

Back cool against the wall.

Gathered her thoughts, regaining her breath.

How did she think she could avoid Chloe?

She had to.

How the fuck even? She had been lucky to avoid that confrontation for as long as she had. It had gone okay. Right?

She pulled out her phone, hovered her thumb over all the previously ignored messages and calls from Chloe, thought about opening, thought about deleting the conversation from her phone, thought about deleting Chloes number from her phone and instead her thumb moved slowly, she felt her hand shaking as she called Jesse.

"Wanna skip class today?"

* * *

 

"Bec, I what are you doing? Not that I don't ughhh wow not that I don't like it but…"

"You like this right?"

This was right?

Right?

She was meant to like this?

Jesse was enjoying it.

Beca could tell.

Over his jeans. Zip down. Her hand disappeared. Over his boxers. Further. Into his boxers.

Beca stroked him.

Felt him hard in the palm of her hand.

Beca hoped to God nobody would walk in. Beca prayed to God someone would.

To get it over with. So she wouldn't have to go through with it.

She had drank to forget about Chloe. Talked about nothing but Chloe. When Beca closed her eyes all she could see was Chloe.

Stop thinking her name.

That damn red head.

Beca drank to convince herself he was what she wanted. And not her. Weighing up in her mind why he was a good choice and she was all kinds of wrong.

But she wanted a woman. No. Not 'a' woman. Beca wanted Chloe.

Fuck that, Mitchell.

Fuck Chloe.

Fuck her fucking perfection.

Beca didn't deserve Chloe.

Beca didn't deserve shit. And Chloe deserved so much more than Beca.

Beca had followed Jesse into the mens bathroom at some bar on the outskirts of town she had never been to.

Empty.

Pushed him into a stall.

Jesse leant down to kiss Beca. Beca turned her head. Jesse kissed her neck.

Beca shivered.

His kisses were hot, his breath hot, sticky.

Different.

Jesse's hands fumbled towards the button of her trousers.

Beca twitched.

Stiffened as he popped the button.

Her free hand pushed his away.

She couldn't speak.

Her mind blank. No not blank but trying to be out of her body. Trying to get through it. This was meant to be normal. She should be enjoying this.

Beca's hand brought him out of his jeans, as she sank to the floor.

A few more strokes with her hand before she took him in her mouth.


	19. Chapter 19

Beca got the cab to drop her off at her building. Beca vanquished any thoughts she had of inviting him up. Any thoughts Beca had tried to convince herself to have about inviting him up gone as she closed the car door behind her and said her good night. She couldn't even look him in the eye. Never mind anything else.

The cab took off towards his building.

Beca took out her phone as she entered her building. There was a missed call from Chloe from less than an hour previous.

She owed her a call, a text, a visit.

She knew she owed her an explanation.

Beca owed Chloe.

Fuck.

She needed to see Chloe.

Now.

Had to.

It wasn't a want. A pure need. To feel right again. And only Chloe, she knew, could give her that feeling.

Make her feel like herself again. Better than herself.

Chloe fucking Beale.

* * *

 

Beca stood outside the Bellas house, phone in hand, a picture of her and Chloe together, smiling, that Fat Amy had taken one day during rehearsals that she had set as Chloe's caller photo I.D. But it was blurry.

Wet?

Fuck. Was she crying?

When had that started?

She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Yes, fuck. She was crying.

She pressed call, then put the phone to her ear.

It rang and rang and rang. And nothing.

She started over again, redial, and she saw a light go on above her in the house.

Chloe picked up. Silence.

"Chlo?" Beca's voice broke over her name. More silence. "Chlo…?" Beca took the phone away from her ear to make sure she was on the line with Chloe. Seconds ticked by on the call on her screen. Chloe was there. She placed her cell phone back against her ear as she looked up to Chloe's window. The light was still on, a small glimmer of hope in the darkness. "...please..." Head back in her hands. She shut her eyes. Tight. Saw Jesse looking down at her. Tried to focus past that and see Chloe's face behind her eye lids. "...say something, talk to me."

"Oh so now you want to talk?"

"Yes? No?…" Beca didn't know. The words were hard to come by. "I don't want to talk."

"Darn it," She heard Chloe sigh. "Bec..." Beca looked back up at Chloe's window. Waiting. "What do you want?"

"You… I want... I want you Chlo... Fuck," She let out a long deep breath, then swallowed. Hard. Still tasting him. Her hand ran through her hair, as she leant back into the building. "Chlo I just want you, please... please just… come open the door…"

"Bec…" Chloe spoke through clenched teeth, keeping in the words to just tell Beca to fuck off. "Go. Away."

Chloe hung up, letting out an angry breath. Chloe fell back onto her bed, tossing her phone out of reach.

Chloe's phone started to buzz again. She rolled her eyes. At herself. Because she knew she was this close to giving in to Beca. She knew she wasn't strong. Shook her head and let out another ragged breath. If she hadn't tossed her phone away she would have picked back up. Picked up, got up, and let Beca in.

Chloe placed her hands over her face, rubbing harshly through her hair, down to cover her ears.

Beca sat on the ground outside the front door, holding in sobs that threatened to take over her entire being, she felt dirty and wrong.

"Pick up pick up," Beca whispered into her cell phone as it rang and rang and the light above her went off. "Pick up," Sobs took over her. "...please please pick up."

* * *

 

Fat Amy descended the stairs as she was leaving the Bella house to meet Bumper. She opened the front door and was almost down the steps and into the invisibility of the night when out of the corner of her eye she saw Beca. Heard Beca.

"Midnight smoothie run, well not run more like drive. Nothing strange about that." She toddled off, too busy hiding her own secret from Aubrey to bother to ask why a wasted Beca was hanging around outside the Bella house, well okay she had a big inkling but she wasn't about to open that box. "See ya later short round."

Beca clambered off the ground, thankful that Amy hadn't commented on her being there.

And slipped into the house.

* * *

 

Beca wanted to go straight up to Chloe's room but the refrigerator, and more importantly drinks inside the refrigerator were calling her. She stumbled into the kitchen, finished one drink quickly, popped another and took two swigs as she ascended the stairs. Her head felt lighter than before. Her body moving on automatic to get to Chloe.

* * *

 

Beca found Chloe's door open two, and all but fell against it. She slumped down onto the floor.

Chloe had heard the ruckus of Beca coming up the stairs and then heard the thud of her against the door frame.

Chloe sighed, and repeated to herself to get up over and over until she couldn't stand the faint sound of Beca sniffling and got up, resolve face, ready to make Beca leave. When she got to her door, she was taken back by how the sound changed from annoying sniffling to low sobs that filtering through into her room, straight into her heart.

Stop feeling like this about Beca, Chloe scolded herself. Stop it.

Chloe cautiously opened the door all the way, fully. And bent to help Beca up.

Beca fell against Chloe. Pushing them both back into Chloe's room.

Chloe let it happen. She couldn't make Beca leave when she was crying. Right? Was she just justifying letting Beca in? Maybe. Don't judge. Chloe didn't want to see Beca. Honest. Okay not so honest, she really wanted to see Beca. Had wanted nothing else. She had to make her leave. Chloe was scared. Scared that she wouldn't be able to make herself make Beca leave, because all she wanted was Beca. There. With her. No matter what. It scared Chloe that she could be that weak, she didn't want to think, to argue, she just wanted Beca. Okay. Dammit. She would make her leave. She. Would. But Beca couldn't possibly leave in this state. Right?

Beca held onto Chloe. Tight. She never wanted to let go of her. Until she did, or Chloe had pushed her off?

All Beca saw was the ceiling.

Stars?

What?

Beca blinked hard, saw stars on the ceiling, fuck she was out of it. Wasted.

"If you could stand I'd make you go." Chloe muttered angrily to herself, she didn't even sound convincing to her own ears as she looked down at where Beca had landed on her bed. She had pictured Beca lying on her bed. In her bed. With her. On top of her. Under her. Curled around her. Limbs tangled. Over and over, until it had hurt too much to think of any more, and still it had been her only thought.

She hadn't pictured this.

Chloe never thought she would want rid of Beca. Out of her bed. Her room. Her life.

And she did want rid of Beca. Right now. Really. Maybe. Well she knew she should. That that's how she should be feeling after how Beca had blown her off. After the way Beca had treated her. But then she wanted her. She knew Beca wanted her too. Just something else was going on to stop them being together, and Chloe just wanted to know what the shit it was. If Beca was having a freak out she wanted to know, help her through, hated that she wanted to be there for Beca. But darn it she did. Okay. They could work through it. Right? Whatever the shit it was, they could. Together.

"Please don't make me go." Beca closed her eyes. She tried and tried so hard to keep the tears in that were brimming and welling and burning her eyes. "I-I don't know..." Beca opened her eyes. Chloe stood at the side of the bed, her bed, Chloe's bed, she was on Chloe's bed, Chloe's arms folded, hip out. Amazing. Toned legs, stood tense, as Beca's eyes made their way up, and over her small pale blue shorts. Just short enough that Beca knew she would be able to get a fucking fantastic view of Chloe's tight little bouncy ass if she turned around. She half wanted to make her storm off out the room just so she could watch her leave. Hair curly, messy, flipped to one side. Hot. No that was too small a word to describe an angry, just gotten out of bed, Chloe. But hot would have to do, as hot was all Beca could think of. "Fuck…" Beca turned her head to the side against the bed. Soft. She could easily fall asleep. Just close them and this confrontation would blacken out of existence. Her eyes instead decided totally of their own accord to look up, as they drifted and found Chloe's. Still dark, red, hurt, but in the midst of that were brilliant blue orbs. Chloe was still in there, fighting to get out, fighting and looking like she was on the back foot losing. "Chlo why did you have to kiss me?"

"You kissed me!"

"You..." Beca saw two of Chloe and pointed at them.

"No." Chloe took a slow big breath to steady her anger. "Every. Single time. It was you."

"Well you kissed me back." Beca waved her hand at Chloe. Chloe's eyes moved and watched Beca's fingers. She was instantly angry at herself for doing so and thinking about what they would feel like inside her. She held back her own whimper. Her own tears. "Same diff."

"Wait? What? So now? Like right now when you're wasted..." Chloe was shaking, "you-you wanna talk about-?"

"-No." Beca covered her face with both her hands. "I dunno..."

"You all but ignored me this morning..." Chloe sat down on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands. She could feel herself starting to cry. Anger? Tiredness? Chloe hadn't really slept much since Sectionals. "Do you have," Chloe's voice was thick, she swallowed back tears. "any idea how much that... how much you've hurt me?" Chloe was trying to fight the happiness she felt right now because all she had wanted in that time she hadn't seen Beca was to see Beca, and now she was here. "Do you even care...?" Beca was with her. Beca was physically there, but was saying nothing. Long thick silence. She was trying so very hard to talk about this with Beca, but was getting nothing. Defeated. "...Just go."

"Chlo... please I can't... I need..." You. Beca needed Chloe to make her feel right again.

"Just shut up. Just shut up and-and go to sleep then..." Yeah Chloe knew she should be pushing harder for Beca to leave but she just couldn't. Okay. Chloe needed her there. Hated that she needed her. "I don't... I-I can't…I just…" She couldn't get up. She couldn't turn and lie down beside her. Chloe was frozen. "I can't talk to you right now Bec." Chloe bit her lip, kept in a sob. Swallowed it. Hard. "I want to, I really-I-I really do but I just... can't."

"I already said I don't want to talk." Beca spoke low, through almost clenched teeth. Just trying to keep her shit together.

Beca struggled but she sat up, curling into Chloe's back, letting her arms drape over her shoulders. Chloe couldn't move. She should shrug Beca off of her, she knows that. She just can't. Okay. She just can't.

"What..." A long shaky breath. "What do you want then?" Chloe asked into her lap and was answered by Becas lips on her neck. Chloes eyes rolled close, her neck moving of its own accord to allow Beca to continue kissing her. She relaxed into Becas open mouthed kisses. Chloe sighed as Beca's trembling fingers brushed her hair off her shoulder and she nibbled her way to her ear.

"You." Beca breathed the word into Chloe. Chloe wasn't even sure if this was really happening. She was so angry with Beca but her body needed her. No, she was angry with herself for enjoying this. For really enjoying this. Beca kissed Chloes ear slowly, sloppy, as her arms that were draped over Chloe's shoulders held her tighter. Her hands moved to grasp at Chloe's breasts through her pyjama top. Chloe's moan hit Beca's ears and it made her squeeze harder. Another moan. Chloe really needed this. No touch of her own, even whilst pretending it was Beca did this to her, made her eyes roll back and her hips roll forward.

Beca had thought about what Chloe's breasts would feel like in her hands over and over and over. Her imagination didn't know shit. Reality far surpassed expectation. Beca squeezed again as she went back to kissing Chloe's neck, maybe her hands were a little too rough, but the light gasps and the feeling of Chloe's nipples growing hard against her palm filled her with more need. More want. And she did want Chloe. She didn't deserve Chloe and Chloe didn't deserve her fucked up ass. But fuck it, here they were. Eventually. Together. She couldn't fight it. Chloe shook under her touch, as one of Beca's hands turned Chloe's head, sharply, so she could kiss her mouth.

Chloe whimpered. Chloe wanted to fight it, wanted to pretend that she wanted to fight this but then Beca's breath was filling her mouth. Beca's tongue filled her mouth, made her gasp for air, but she wanted Beca more than she needed air.

They both stilled. Their mouths broke apart, a mere inch, taking in each others breaths making them light headed.

Chloe waited for Beca to continue the kiss, always letting Beca lead. Wanting nothing but to taste Beca but not wanting to push Beca further than she was ready for, so she waited. And waited. Chloe's eyes flicked up to see Becas staring down at her lips, Beca surged forward, capturing Chloe's trembling lips with her own. Clambering over to sit in Chloe's lap, her hair fell into Chloe's face, never breaking their kisses for longer than a second. Becas tongue lazily licked and twirled into Chloe's mouth.

Beca had stopped thinking and let her body move for its own needs, her own heart's desire. Her hands brushed her own hair out of Chloe's face, and pawed at Chloe's jaw, nails scraping, her fingers moving over Chloe's lips. Fingers exploring Chloe's mouth as they kissed. Feeling Chloe's tongue sweeping over her own, tasting Beca's fingers. Beca pushed away in her mind the thought of where her hands had been earlier that night, fought back how sick it made her feel as thoughts pushed into her mind of where her mouth had been. Chloe would kiss all that away. Chloe would make all, just fucking everything good again.

Drunk Beca was heavier, making Chloe fall back slightly on the bed. Chloe held them up with her arms outstretched behind her. Beca rolled her hips down into Chloe's lap, her hands moved and worked the buttons of Chloe's top until it was almost off, as it pooled behind her trapped by her wrists. Beca rested her forehead against Chloe's. Her eyes fluttered open and took in the sight of Chloe. Sweet fucking Chloe. Too good for her fucking Chloe. Body of a Goddess Chloe. The light from outside shone in and hit her body, casting shadows for Beca to explore. And she couldn't wait to do so. Beca moved her hands down Chloe's neck, felt her tense, but stopped before moving any further down.

Chloe hadn't imagined making out with Beca again to go like this. Yes she'd imagined it quite a bit since the last time they had kissed. She didn't think Beca would be wasted. Chloe didn't think she would have smoked a few jay's, clouding her own morals. She knew, Chloe knew that Beca didn't taste like this, she had pictured kissing Beca again over and over and every time Beca tasted of cinnamon, or of pumpkin spiced lattes in the fall, not this. None of it was meant to be like this.

Beca struggled out of her jacket, it fell off behind her somewhere on the floor. She wriggled out of her top, awkwardly pulled it over her head until she was just in her bra. Chloe watched, not helping, her hands still behind her. And then her bra was gone too. Chloe wanted to lick every inch of skin revealed to her. Made no move to. Chloe didn't get a chance to decide either way as Beca wriggled off her lap, falling back a little as she kicked her new boots off that she had bought totally not because they made her feel like she was in The Terminator and therefore badass. Finally her black ripped jeans were off and she lay down beside where Chloe was sat on the bed. Chloe looked down at her, breathing heavy, not knowing what Beca was thinking. Beca had went from ignoring her, completely, utterly to what? This. Almost naked on her bed. What the shit? Beca clearly wanted to move them along further physically than they had went in the past but Chloe didn't know what her next move was meant to be. She knew what she wanted. Beca. In every way. This wasn't right. None of this felt right. It felt good. Just not right. Beca said she wanted her, and Chloe wanted her too. Just not like this. Maybe Chloe couldn't have her any way but this, and if this was all she could have maybe she would just go for it. Just this once. Honest. Just once. Never again would she even give Beca the time of day, just give her, them, this night. Her thoughts was pushed away as Beca grabbed a hold of Chloe's arm. Rough. Firm.

"You sure?"

"I want," Beca mumbled as she pulled Chloe on top of her. "...you."

Doubts disappeared along with Chloe's top, as she flicked her wrists, her hands to get rid of it down the side of the bed. She pushed herself up on her arms so she could look down at Beca.

"Sure?" Chloe asked again, firmer, into the charged space between them. "Bec I need to know... is this really what you want?"

Beca answered by gripping onto Chloe's neck, as she pulled her into a kiss that didn't end until she had a hold of Chloe's wrist and was pulling her own panties to the side and pulling Chloe's hand down until Chloe's fingers were in her wet folds.

"Fuck..." A ragged breath. A strangled moan in the shape of her name. "...Chlo..." Chloe pushed a finger deep into Beca, watched Beca's face intently, the way Beca's mouth fell open, the way Beca's tongue flicked out at her teeth as she called out her name, as Chloe curled her finger as she pulled it out, before she pushed back in with two fingers a second time. "Ohhh Chlo..." Beca panted behind clenched teeth as her heart beat so hard it felt like it would burst out of her chest. It felt like every muscle in her body tensed. "Fuck..." Chloe pulled out a little, before pushing back into Beca. Beca's eyes rolling back into her head. "Ohhhh fu-"

"Bec..." Chloe moaned Becas name into Beca's ear as Beca gripped onto Chloe's shoulders awkwardly. Chloe wanted to feel Becas hands all over her own body, tell her that she wanted that, but she was too preoccupied with the feeling of being inside Beca. Beca was warm. Beca was wet. She latched her mouth onto Becas ear, nibbling, moving to bite her neck, to suck and lick as her hips began to move in rhythm with her hand. Beca raised and rolled her hips with Chloe's as Chloe gained confidence and her fingers moved harder and faster into Beca. Chloe moved her thumb over Beca's clit and instantly knew how much Beca was enjoying the extra pressure and movement of Chloe by the high pitched gasps and stream of profanities she was rewarded with, so Chloe twirled her thumb faster, pushed herself into Beca impossibly deeper, and then slowed all her movements. Slowed. Not stopped. Chloe wanted to try and remember some of this, tried desperately to commit the feeling of being inside Beca to memory. Chloe felt herself growing wetter and needing release at the sound of Becas own wetness in her hand, by her hand, dripping down her wrist from the speed at which she had previously been thrusting into Beca. "Bec..." Chloe repeated her name in a deep timbre, making Beca have to fight to not completely loose it just at the sound of Chloe saying her name like that. Their bodies moved clumsily but Beca felt and tried to push away the tingling that was spreading out from her centre. She needed the release. Needed it more than she had ever before. Knew she wasn't ready for it. "Cum for me Bec..." Barely a whisper. She wasn't ready to feel this good. Beca wasn't ready to feel this good because of Chloe, was holding back because she knew she didn't deserve it. But it kept spreading, making her limbs shake, then dying off until Chloe would hit the right spot again, "Cum for me..." slowly and more slow but the slower Chloe curled into her, the harder it was to stave off how good it made Beca feel and it would build again, setting Beca off. Again. And again until she couldn't fight how good Chloe felt inside her, on top of her, limbs tangled, thumb rubbing every self doubt she had about them away like an eraser, she couldn't take holding back any more and she let go. Beca shook. Almost violently.

"Chlo... fuck fuck," Beca gasped, sucking in air as she closed her eyes. Tight. She couldn't see anyways. "Chlo... I-oh oh oh fuck..."

Tears fell down Beca's cheeks as Chloe's thumb swirled over her clit building up speed, faster and faster, with intensifying pressure as her fingers curled hard inside her. Chloe imagined Beca doing this to her and began to shake too. Beca turned her head to the side. A sob. Chloe wiped her wet hand on her pyjama shorts, very much aware she was still in them, and felt herself throbbing for contact off Beca inside them. Chloe scooped Beca's head back to face her, wanting to look into Becas eyes, wanting to see the stormy sea's calmed because of her but Chloe was met with the streaks of tears. Beca sniffed and tried to turn her head away again. Chloe wouldn't let her, she moved her hands to brush Becas hair behind her ears. Beca shivered at her touch. Now light and gentle, perfect and caring. Chloe.

"Bec..." Beca turned her head away again, her eyes still closed. "Hey I'm right here," Chloe kissed Becas cheek, tasting her tears upon her lips. "I'm right here... Bec I'm right here..."

"I'm-I..." A shaky breath. Beca just couldn't vocalise how she was feeling. How Chloe had made her feel. Right. "That was..." Beca's eyes opened. Her vision returning. "...you..."

Chloe kissed Beca's cheek, then her temple, breathing her scent in every time she moved, Beca didn't smell like she usually did. Chloe kissed another inch of her face. Salty. She had kissed away the taste of stale beer. Her skin glistening like it would do back in rehearsals and Chloe had wanted to lick Becas neck, lick the middle of her back when she bent over doing some move her and Aubrey had choreographed, kiss her ankles as she stretched into another move, nibble her ear over those "monstrosities" as Aubrey called them. There were so many questions and things she wanted to say to Beca, Chloe wanted to know why she hadn't seen Beca since Sectionals, wanted to know why she had ran away that morning from her, wanted to know what was going on in Beca's mind right now, no, since she'd met her, why had Beca let herself come into Chloe's life and all but fuck it up and make her feel fantastic and the worst at the same time, and Chloe wanted to know why she let Beca do that but all that came out was her name.

"Bec?"

"You were... are..." Beca corrected herself. "are fucking-" Beca turned her head to capture Chloe's lips, feeling a moan reverberate through Chloe and into her and as Chloe gasped as their lips moved against each others Beca slipped her tongue in. Over and over and under and twirling and curling, like Chloes fingers had inside her, making their kiss dance as Chloe mumbled into her, pulling away centimetres.

"-What?" Chloe was met with stormy eyes that she would let wash over her serene blue ones like a hurricane and destroy her paradise. "Bec... what?"

"...amazing."


	20. Chapter 20

"And you're..." Chloe's hand wandered down Beca's sweaty body, she trembled, under Chloe's touch. Tendrils of pleasure hitting Beca still, spiralling out from her core. Chloe loved having that power. Power over Beca. Power to make Beca feel that good. She let her fingers dance over already hard nipples, past and down to where Beca's ribs twitched. Because of Chloe. Down to where Beca's stomach spasmed. Because of Chloe. Down and down as Chloe tried to memorise Beca's body and Beca's response to every single one of her touches, telling herself that she wouldn't do this again, already knowing it was a lie, she wanted this. Wanted Beca. Wanted to be back inside Beca. Feel complete again. Wanted Beca to want to be inside her. Chloe dipped a single digit into Beca's wetness.

"I-I'm..." Beca barely heard the word come out her own mouth, distant. All she could feel was Chloe's finger. Chloe. Chloe's finger slicked over her clit, Beca eyes fought against rolling shut, trying so hard to seek out Chloe's eyes and get her answer as Chloe slipped easily back into Beca. A gasp, distant, hers? Chloe's? Chloe curled. Chloe felt Beca's flesh warm and wet, contract around her finger. Chloe looked up from her hand and up to Beca's face. Beca's mouth formed an invisible 'O', as her breath caught in her throat, her head rolled back, losing the battle, eye brows dancing in pleasure. No pain. Pain because Beca had known she had wanted this, knew from the first moment she had been pulled in by Chloe's smile on the first day she had met this damn red head that she had wanted her, and it scared her as much now as it had that day. Pain because she was a fuck up that had taken way too long to get Chloe. No. Too long to take what she wanted. Take Chloe, but Chloe had taken her. Breath away.

"You're..." Chloe pulled her finger out. Slow. Beca was left feeling empty. Chloe brought up her finger, soaked. Soaked by Beca. Soaked with Beca. Up to her own mouth, slipped it across her lip, sticky, wet, and waited until their eyes met again and moaned as it entered her mouth, and the taste of Beca hit her tongue. A taste she knew instantly she would never forget. Never want to forget.

"I'm... w-what?"

"Mine."

An arrow. From Chloe's mouth fired directly into her chest. Her heart. Beca choked. Too much happiness. Seeing, hearing Chloe do that. Taste her. The happiness twisted into her, a knife, stabbing her because she knew she didn't deserve the woman next to her. Chloe's moan was a pebble dropped in Beca's pond, and each ripple out from the impact was of happiness, each ripple on the water cut through her, but Chloe made her feel wanted. Needed. Loved. Fuck.

Beca turned and captured Chloe's smirk in a kiss then another and another as she lay on her, over her, moved on top of Chloe. Beca gasped into every minuscule gap that formed between each and every kiss, hot and firm, tongues explored as the thought ran up that hill in her mind to tell her that she wanted her tongue to explore, to taste the rest of Chloe. She ripped her lips away from Chloe's mouth, barely, and felt Chloe's smirk form again against her lips. Beca held herself up a little on her arms. Looked down and saw the smirk, the knowing smirk, the one that said that Chloe knew exactly what was going on in Beca's mind. Beca's eyes dipped down past the smirk and curved over breasts that she hadn't previously been able to process the feeling of. Had been too preoccupied with the feeling of Chloe being inside of her, of Chloe fucking her, too busy trying to process that, fuck. She was still processing that, couldn't even process that Chloe had fucked her.

Chloe.

Chloe had made her cum.

Chloe had unravelled her, split her into a million shattered jagged pieces and hadn't even had the audacity to even try to put her back together. She was still shaking, she hadn't noticed how much, she didn't have the mental capacity left to think of the rest of Chloe moving against her. Beca lent back in, threading her hands in Chloe's hair, anything to keep them from moving downward, anything to keep Beca anchored as she kissed Chloe again, slower, trying to process the feeling of every inch of her body being in contact with Chloe's almost naked form, as Chloe's arms encircled her. Beca felt nails digging, leaving little half moons in her back as she moved her hips, rolled them down into Chloe's. Felt Chloe rolling hers up, both moaning into one another as they grind, into one another, legs sliding against, tangled, trying to find the right amount of pressure, wanting more, fighting to find the right angle up against each others thighs. Beca moved one hand from where it was twisted and pulling a little in Chloe's red locks to slide down the curve of Chloe neck, where she pawed a little, held still there a little longer feeling Chloe's pulse beating hard, fast against her fingers before scraping her own nails down her collar bone, lightly over the curve of her breast, down Chloe's waist and hips, and pulled one of Chloe's legs up and around her waist. Closer. Impossibly, closer.

Chloe gasped, eyes opening, her smile breaking their kiss, but Beca kissed her wide smile, kissed the curved corners of Chloe's lips and continued over her cheek to what Beca thought were the cutest littlest perfectly formed ears she had ever seen, had never really noticed until now. Never noticed because there was so much perfection going on all over Chloe it was easy to miss something. And kissed, sucked gently feeling Chloe's hips rolling in rhythm to her own. Beca wandered her hand back down Chloe's thigh until she felt material, and gave Chloe's ass a small squeeze through her shorts. Another piece of Chloe that Beca would say was perfection. Her cute little ass. Because it was true. Undeniable.

Chloe just was perfection.

Fact.

Beca knew it like she knew she needed air to breathe.

Chloe took Beca's hand on her ass as the go ahead, as this was all heading there. Where Beca had been and Chloe needed to go. Chloe smiled wider as she rolled her head back, feeling the hand still in her hair dig, grip, tighten, feeling Beca's lips sucking on her ear and rolled her hips up, felt Beca's roll down against her as she hooked her fingers under the waistband of her light blue shorts, her breathing stopped. Anticipation. Chloe lifted her hips against Beca's again and pulled. Slow.

Beca felt it, the small slice of skin previously not touching her now touching her bare skin, her synapses were lighting up like fireworks as her lips left Chloe's ear and stuttered kisses back across her cheek to her mouth and felt Chloe hum her smile into her, Beca's mouth now slack as the silence filled the room. Beca heard the material pealing off Chloe, she heard it in Chloe's small giggle of anticipation, she heard it and felt it in Chloe's sharp intake of breath. Felt it in the way Chloe's ribs twitched below her. Chloe was about to be naked, complete and utterly naked under her.

Chloe lazily licked into her mouth, stealing what was left of her breath, as she tugged on Beca's lip and was rewarded by a gasp escaping Beca.

Beca pulled her lip away from Chloe's bite, sucked it into her mouth, she felt, what?

Scared.

So fucking scared.

Beca raised herself back up on her arms, further away this time. A tiny moment away, a slither of material away. Nothing left in the way and then she would have to. What? She didn't have to fucking anything. Right? But she wanted to. What did she want to do? What did Beca even want right here? Right now? To feel Chloe? Taste? Yeah to taste her. Fuck. She really fucking wanted that. Her. Needed this. All she wanted was there. For her. Under her. Laid out. Almost bare.

Chloe.

"I-I... fuck-I should... I should go."

"Bec..." Chloe said in a knowing tone. Her eyes twinkled, as she lent up and placed a kiss to Beca's forehead, then lent back, liking the way Beca's hair fell against her. Surrounded them. Just them. Blocked the world out. Smiled up at Beca. Small. "But you don't want to."

"I don't, but-but I...I should go." Beca said, slower. Firmer.

"But you're not gonna..." Chloe's smile showed her teeth, a little, it hurt Beca just how cute her smile was, she studied Chloe's smile. Trying to commit it to memory, the way it curved down a little to one side, something Beca had never noticed before, was this new, yeah this was new, this smile was her smile. Fuck. The way it lit a fire inside her, the way this was all because of her. That she had made Chloe smile like that. Her smile. Beca saw the smile, her smile, falter as she stayed silent. She was hurting Chloe, it was hurting her knowing she was hurting Chloe. But Beca knew. This was all far too much. She hadn't processed anything. Couldn't. She was still feeling it, living it, and this was just. Too much. Fucking coward. "...Right?"

"No." Chloe's smile, her smile, regained its luminosity. "I'm... umm yeah I'm gonna go."

"Oh…" Then Chloe's smile vanished as Beca's eyes moved away from her face, moved away from her body, looked at the dead space around her, not seeing Chloe any more, not being able to face looking at her, as Beca moved off her.

"Yeah..." Beca sounded pathetic, to her own ears as she sat up, hands ran through her hair.

Same old nervous tick. Chloe clocked it. Chloe sat up behind her. Wanted to reach out, wanted to drape her arms over Beca like Beca had when she had initiated this. But Chloe had to let the silence build because she was too busy holding in her frustration, holding back tears. And she would hold them in, she wouldn't let Beca see her fucking cry. Dammit. Chloe breathed out slow, pushed negativity out her mind and struggled to find something positive.

Beca had come to her.

So what if it had taken her so fucking long, Beca had. Eventually. Came to her senses.

Right?

That was a positive.

And she had made Beca cum.

That made Chloe want to cry all over again. Why? Because Chloe had made Beca feel that gosh darn amazing, and Beca had told her that she was amazing. Told her. That had made her happy, and in a few small moments Beca's actions made her feel anything but. Because Beca couldn't show her.

"Let me at least," Chloe breathed out slow and steady as she spoke, as Beca stood. Chloe focused on trying to not let her emotions take over her, focused on getting through the next ten seconds the way Aubrey had taught her back when her panic attacks had been almost daily that year at summer camp after the crash. "take you out tomorrow night?"

Chloe could salvage something. Anything. This isn't how it was going to end. Not at another strike, another time Beca is running away from her. Them.

"Um…" Trousers settled over slender hips that Chloe could still feel moving against hers as her eyes watched Beca's every move, Beca bent and found her boots, stepped into them. A forcibly passive air going up around her as Beca reached and picked her top off the floor, pulled it over her head. "Sure, yeah."

"Yeah?" Chloe wanted to take the word back, no. Not the word. The tone in which it had passed her lips. Needy.

"Yeah," Beca nodded, glanced back at Chloe lying on the bed, sheets now pulled up around her, scrunched in her grip. "Sure Chlo," Beca ran her hands through her hair, nervous, saying Chloe's name like that felt wrong now, as all Beca heard in her mind was how she had cried out Chloe's name, she scratched the back of her neck. Beca's eyes roamed all the dead space around Chloe again, Chloe could feel it. Made her shrink into the bed. "Umm, sure." Beca turned back around, found her jacket. Jacket on. Defensive shields fully operational. "...whatever."

* * *

 

**Chloe - Looking forward to tonight, see you at 8**

**read 18:33**

She put a question mark, took it off, put it back again then decides it sounded too needy and took it off once again.

Chloe received no reply for an hour, it was already half seven and she was trying to ignore the voice in her head telling her that Beca was going to bail. She had to leave and go drive over to the restaurant. Plans had been made earlier that day, Beca had actually been replying throughout the day. But now? Not so much. Chloe told herself to be optimistic. Beca was getting ready so she didn't have time to reply, and she would be there. Things were going to change. Gotta have hope.

New day, new start.

Give Beca the chance, she had been the one to kiss her in front of everyone after all, and yeah so it had taken Beca a while to deal with that but after last night Chloe knew she wanted more than sex. Beca had made her feel wanted, and then used once Beca had split. She needed to know where they stood. Chloe needed to get things straight. So to speak. She wanted Beca. She wanted a relationship with her. Be in a relationship with her. Chloe wanted to be public, Chloe didn't want to be just last night, Chloe wanted to give them a go. A proper chance. She couldn't face being Becas dirty secret. She wouldn't let last night happen again. Probably. She needed to know what Beca wanted. If Beca wanted anything similar to what she wanted. And Chloe wanted it all.

The reservation was for half eight so yeah Chloe would like to be there by eight, grab some drinks first and just hang with Beca. Talk with Beca. Talk about them.

Chloe took out her phone and before she had a chance for regret to set in, it's ringing. The photo of her and Beca asleep on the couch that Stacie had taken is on her screen, she appreciated that small gesture of Stacie's more than she could say. And it's ringing and ringing, her chest felt tight. She should just hang up.

Right?

Beca wouldn't cancel.

Right?

Eventually it went to voicemail and she smiles when she hears Becas outgoing message, "Hey it's Beca Effin Mitchell, might ring you back, might not. Later loser."

"Hey it's Chlo, just checking in to make sure you know," she can feel herself sounding needy but ignores it, tries and tries to make her message sound upbeat "reservations for half eight, but you already know, yeah, text me or-or yeah ring... just yeah see you there, yeah... Bye..." She rolls her eyes at her message and hangs up, regret swelling inside her.

She sighed and checked herself in the full length mirror in the hallway. She was dressed in a smart dark blue dress, a perfectly nice length that showed off how her calves popped with the high heels she had decided on. All she needed was to grab her coat, and she would be set. Stacie trotted down the stairs wearing the bare minimum. A simple red shirt, that Chloe is pretty sure is actually hers, a few buttons that are almost popping with how tight it is across Stacie's chest, and her long tanned legs protrude from the bottom. Chloe is pretty sure Stacie's got on underwear but she's not about to look, well maybe a glance but she couldn't help it. Yep panties on but other than the those and the shirt, Stacie wasn't wearing anything else. Chloe was happy for Aubrey, really, and Chloe found it hard to believe someone like Stacie Conrad existed. Smart and incredibly sexy. So open and supportive of Aubrey. Yep Chloe was just happy and not at all jealous right now. Because she was about to leave and meet Beca, and she was happy, dammit.

All the other woman had actually done something with their Saturday, and Chloe had just lain in bed, going over the previous night over and over in her mind. Wanting to feel it all again. She had curled up in her sheets, texting back and forth with Beca, and buried her head under the covers, smelling Beca there with her. Wanting it to be true. Be with Beca all day the way she could hear Aubrey and Stacie.

"You look cute," Stacie stood behind her, she felt Stacie's eyes on her reflection. "Off anywhere..." Stacie's tone was knowing but in no way indicating she really needed to know more. She already just knew. "...special?"

"Um..." Chloe avoided Stacies eyes in the reflection of the mirror, never having been a good liar. She had promised Beca that she wouldn't tell anyone about last night. Not even to Aubrey. And although as far as she was aware Stacie hadn't told anyone about the time she had walked in on her and Beca she still didn't want to say anything. Just in case. She hated that, Aubrey knew she liked Beca, a lot, but they hadn't talked about it in so long because she knew Aubrey still didn't like Beca, no matter how many steps she'd taken to be all inclusive of everyone. It was a fight that Chloe just didn't want to have with Aubrey. Over Beca. And yeah everyone had seen them kiss at Sectionals but then Stacie and Aubrey had joined in, and later she found out Jessica and Ashley had, and Fat Amy swears she planted a big sloppy one on Cynthia but she's not sure if she believes Amy. So her and Beca had just got lost in the mix a little. And then the long gap of not seeing Beca at all had just made it so yesterdays gossip, if it had at all been gossiped about. So just tonight, since she was already treading so carefully with Beca she wanted to keep it just between them two, and felt shitty for what she was about to say to Stacie. She could always tell her the truth once she and Beca had talked, got everything straightened out, so to speak. Chloe could tell Stacie, and everyone soon. Right? "Just heading out for a few quiet drinks with the girls."

"Sure." Stacie placed a hand gently on Chloe's shoulder. She let the lie go. Could see in Chloe's panicked wide eyes that it was hurting her to lie, so she let her.

"Maybe you guys could," Chloe stop it, she told herself, the lie getting deeper. "join us later?"

"Huh...?" Stacie was swerved with the added on lie, she just went with it, and tried to give Chloe an out. A why they wouldn't join Chloe in her fabricated night. "Yeah yeah if I can get Aub out of bed."

"Yeah, yeah." Chloe was so thankful for Stacie's words right there. "...perhaps not..."

"Sorry if we've been..."

"A little loud?"

"Yeah." Stacie smiled, big. Their eyes met in the mirror. Chloe looked down, turned to go grab her coat, she really had to be leaving. "Sorry?"

"You don't have to apologise." Chloe giggled. "You make her happy. Happier than I've seen her in a long time, so thank you." Chloe hugged Stacie back when Stacie enveloped her in a huge hug.

"That means a lot," Stacie smiled and continued on to her initial journey to the kitchen as Chloe put on her coat, turned and looked at her reflection one last time. She touched her hair up a little, satisfied that it looked a little nicer than a second ago, it looked the same but she felt like it looked nicer, that was all that mattered. "Have a good night Chloe!" Stacie called from where her head was buried in the refrigerator, as she picked out a couple of cool much needed fruit juices for her and Aubrey.

"Will do, you too," Car keys picked up, and she headed out the door. "See ya later Stace!"

"Hopefully," Stacie muttered to herself as she closed the refrigerator door. "Not."

* * *

 

Chloe sat in her parked car outside the restaurant, back straight, hands firmly on the wheel. If she took them off she would take out her phone and text Beca. She'd already sounded so needy tonight, there was that word again, and she hadn't gotten any responses from Beca. She was needy, she needed Beca. Beca didn't need to know how much though. Right?

* * *

 

Beca sat in the campus bar near the radio station with Jesse. She had screened Chloe's call earlier and felt shitty about it. Not shitty enough since she hadn't rang nor texted back, but up there in the levels of shittyness. The drinks Jesse had bought were making her feel better, bringing the level down. Justifying her actions to herself over and over in her mind.

It wasn't like they had made concrete plans. Right? She'd said like yeah maybe she would see Chloe later. If she wasn't busy, and she was. She was with Jesse. This was total justification to not go meet Chloe. Just keep repeating a lie until you believe it, Mitchell.

Becas phone dinged in her pocket again.

"Looks like someone wants to get a hold of you." Jesse motioned to her pocket. She shrugged, ignoring the text. "Aubrey wanting to get a start on Regionals rehearsals?"

He smiled. She gave him a smile in return. She wanted to be here with him, over whoever or whatever was wanting her attention. He assumed it was actually probably Aubrey with some a cappella related emergency, even on a Saturday night, that woman was so dramatic. The stories he had heard from his fellow Treblemakers. Oh boy!

He assumed wrong.

"Probably, although I'm feeling like I kinda might be done with the whole synchronized lady singing shit, y'know?"

"Oh Beca you can't be," She rolled her eyes at him. "Just think... you and me..." His eye brows raised, puppy dog grin spreading over his face. "on the road..." He winked. "when it comes to Regionals." It wasn't Chloe's wink.

"Grab me another," She motioned to her empty bottle. "Will ya?" She stood, and headed towards the toilet. Hand on her phone in her pocket. "Be right back."

* * *

 

Chloe sat with her phone in her hand.

**Chloe - I'm here. See you soon.**

**delivered 20:03**

Chloe put a question mark, took it off. She knew she was asking if she would be seeing Beca, but she didn't want Beca to know that she was already questioning her. So she left it with a period. A statement.

**Chloe - You left yet? Tables for half past. :)**

**delivered 20:17**

She was feeling totally not in any way panicked. It was almost half eight. She had parked where she could see the entrance, Beca hadn't arrived. She would though. She would. Totally.

* * *

 

Beca leant against the wall in the stall in the toilet. Phone in hand. It rang. She had it on silent, and can't even take it flashing at her. Flashing up that photo of her and Chloe. Her and Chloe happy. She switched her phone off. Beca was afraid she would pick up and lie to Chloe, make a lame excuse as to why she's not there and why she won't be there with her tonight, she's scared and she knows she's pathetic. So she avoids. Completely. Like the coward she knows she is.

Beca heard the door squeak open.

"Bec?"

"Yeah, umm, Jess, I'm just, umm in here."

"Waiting for me?" Jesse pushed the stall door open from where Beca's voice came from. Not waiting for an answer. Beca isn't sure she could even answer.

She went to step out her stall but Jesse took a step in, making her step back, as he closed the door behind them, a dopey inebriated lopsided grin on his face.

* * *

 

Beca hasn't arrived. Not yet at least. It's only just turned half eight. Eight thirty two to be precise. Chloe tells herself that she will wait another five minutes. Ten pass. No Beca. No word. Chloe will wait until nine, she can't face going in alone. But when Beca turns up they can at least get drinks. But what if she doesn't arrive by nine? Then it's ten minutes later, then another eight, and she tries to not look at the time but it drags. And drags. And no Beca. Chloe is shaking with anger as it turns nine and her phone is already in her hand and she dials.

Nothing.

Chloe's call goes straight to voice mail.

Chloe is so beyond pissed off she almost just hangs up. But then she hears Becas voice on her outgoing message.

"Hey it's Beca Effin Mitchell, might ring you back, might not. Later loser."

And how could she be so gosh darn turned on by a voice? Chloe was annoyed at how much, especially since now, right now, she is super frickin' pissed with the person that voice belongs to.

"Hey..." So much anger in one word. She bit her teeth together. Tried to compose herself. Chloe breathed out heavy, gathering her thoughts, her anger not exactly dissipating but somewhat hidden, pushed back after hearing Becas outgoing message. "If you're tied up at work or... I dunno... Or just don't wanna do this, us, just-just let me know, please don't dick me around... anymore..." She stopped. She searched back over her words, decided she had nothing more or better to add. "Yeah so... Bye."

* * *

 

Beca felt Jesse hard against her leg.

His hand at her hip.

The other down her jeans.

Middle finger.

Dry.

Her hands gripped his shoulders.

As his finger pumped.

Quick.

Her face buried in his neck.

Eyes tight.

Trying to figure out how the fuck it came to this.

* * *

 

Chloe hung up, looked back down at that picture of her and Beca on her phone, she fought back tears, and lost. She dropped her phone in the passenger seat. The seat where Beca should be sitting as she drops her off at the end of the night, the seat Beca should be in as she leans over and kisses her goodnight, the seat Beca should be in when Beca tells Chloe that she doesn't want to go back to her room alone, that she wants to come back with her and- Chloe hit the steering wheel as she let out a long held in sob. She reversed and headed to the store.

She needed ice cream and humus.

Don't ask, it's what cheered her up, okay. And okay if you must know, if she bought humus she could justify to herself eating the ice cream.

When Chloe walked through the door of the Bella house it was quiet. She set her keys in the bowl by the door, and trudged through to the kitchen. Tonight was a total waste. She put the ice cream in the freezer, the humus in the refrigerator and having lost her appetite for both she took out a bottle of wine and a glass out the cupboard, and headed up to her room.

Alone.


	21. Chapter 21

"...A little to the-"

"-like," Stacie felt Aubrey's hot breath hit her centre as she sucked again on Aubrey's clit and Aubrey delved her tongue deep into Stacie. Once. One long stroke with a twist as she licked out. Aubrey knew that was exactly what Stacie wanted. No needed. Her. As Aubrey heard Stacie's feet digging, trying to anchor herself to the ground, in the rustle of the sheets. Aubrey looked up and smirked as she watched Stacie's toes curl and uncurl and curl again, digging for leverage on the bed. She knew the answer. Aubrey could taste the answer. But she wanted to hear Stacie tell her. "...this?"

"Fu-fuck... never mind, just yeah-fuck yeah you're good..."

"I know." Aubrey muttered to herself, with a smile. It's not like she had a lot of practice, Aubrey had only been with one woman before Stacie, but that so far in the past.

Stacie panted as her head hit the bed. Any and all pillows strewn about the room, along with their clothes. She squeezed at any flesh her hands were currently on. Needing to at least touch Aubrey with her hands if she was in too much ecstasy to continue to be touching Aubrey with her tongue. Her arms looped around Aubrey's hips as Aubrey licked deep into her again.

"Fuck... fuck... hmmm Aub ye-yeah yeah yeah fuck like... yeah yeah ohhhhhh fuck... fuck Aub..." Aubrey moved her mouth away again. Barely. Her breath hit Stacie's skin through a smile, as she heard Stacie's own breathing sucking in faster and faster and shallower and shallower. Aubrey knew exactly where those sounds coming out of Stacie were headed. Stacie not being able to even hold her because as Stacie puts it Aubrey would have fucked her limbs to death. And Aubreys never sure how to take that sentiment. Because before Stacie she wasn't into cuddling and snuggling once she was through with sex, at least not with Uni, but then Stacie happened. And yeah she would like to kiss and cuddle and snuggle when they're through. And she does. Only sometimes, a lot, a fair bit, Stacie says she can't physically move her arms or legs and she feels a good quiet numb all over. Okay maybe Aubrey was a little proud that she could fuck Stacie into a blissful oblivion. Aubrey smirked as she moved up on her arms. A little. Further away. Aubrey smiled down with a proud sense of accomplishment at Stacie's writhing hips. Smiled as they bucked off the bed towards her. Wanting her. "Fuck Aub, please," Oh yeah Aubrey liked that, the whine, the sound of Stacie begging. "please don't-don't stop..."

"Damn..." Aubrey spoke low. Almost really just to herself. Looking at how beautiful Stacie was below her, how happy that made her, this day, she could do this day every day.

In bed.

In bliss.

Together.

Always.

Was that scary?

The always part. Maybe. In a good way?

She looked down at long beautiful tanned legs, and knew. Just fucking knew there's no where else she would rather be. Fuck there was that feeling again, but now she didn't wanna push it away. Aubrey would happily let herself fall in love with Stacie. Ha, like she could even stop it happening. She had been blocking it out for too long. She knew there was like, potential? That she could fall in love with Stacie. Because fuck! Look at Stacie, but she knew, she's not dumb, that it had started out as lust. Pure. Lust. And it was all so easy. Maybe now was the time to just fucking admit that it was happening. Had happened. Aubrey had dove in heart first, against all her better judgement, because she needed someone to support her, not that she would admit that. Ever. That support had always been Chloe. But she couldn't rely on her forever. Right? Stacie got to know her in ways only Chloe did, and she felt that dread. The oh fuck this person could make me happy forever, and I would be totally down for that. And she was. Even if it terrified her.

But something that terrifying had to be good.

Right?

An image of them, her and Stacie, somewhere down the line clicked into Aubrey's mind, it was a fuzzy image, all images of her future were fuzzy. Aubrey liked to be in total control but it was, and she knew this, out of the always there ever present feeling of not being in control of anything outside of herself but it was there, a fuzzy image and they were there? Where? She couldn't see that, again fuzzy, but they were there, where ever there was, together.

Her and Stacie.

Older.

Together.

She felt a wave of what future her felt for Stacie, and it was somehow stronger than the trickle of falling for her she was feeling now. So much more. So much stronger.

It was all consuming.

Click.

Another image came into view. Down like a view-master. An image of a young girl, with Stacie's long dark locks, and there she was, they were, on a couch cuddled up, the three of them. Three of them. Yeah. What? How did that make her feel? Good right. Scared. Scared was good.

Click another image, this time the girls a little older, not much and she's holding Stacie's hand, and she's what? Beside them, yeah, she can feel herself there. She's pushing a stroller and there's a little blonde boy sitting in it. Giggling. He's waving his hands and gurgling baby nonsense, and she looks across and Stacie's older again, more beautiful, somehow, and smiling at her. Says her name with affection, leans over and kisses her, light, polite.

Aubrey is broken out of the fuzzy future as she hears her name said with need above her, now. Her name wrapped messily in a moan, a plead.

But she could see it, that fuzzy future, and she liked the longing feeling she was getting, she could want that with Stacie. Aubrey had always wanted that. Aubrey had a big enough family and always wanted that herself, something she had only shared with Chloe. It was something she knew she needed and what Chloe never wanted. A big family. She knew Chloe, down the line, would change her mind though. She knows she knows Chloe better than Chloe knows herself, and that was Chloe in pain speaking and not wanting to bring children into the world to experience the shit she had been through. Chloe would re-evaluate her stance, and change it. She knew. Chloe had so much happiness to give, just like her and Stacie could. Fuck. She really was in love with her. Already. Deep. Aubrey felt herself become whole. Stacie slid two fingers into her.

"Aub..." Stacie pleaded in the shape of her name.

"Fuck." She swiped her fingers over Stacie's clit, slow but with increasing speed. Stacies breathing was fast again. She felt, no, Aubrey knew Stacie was close. Close to that bright white light and Aubrey would have to, want to, hold Stacie until she came back to the world.

"Fuck oh God don't stop fuck," Stacie cried out as her own fingers worked in Aubrey faster and faster, matching Aubreys speed. "...that's-th-fuck-God-Aub..." Stacie couldn't even think as Aubrey licked back deep into her, her fingers never faltering, pressing down hard and fast on her clit. Aubrey turned her head to the side, kissed along Stacie's sticky thigh and back until she licked deep into Stacie again.

"Stace you taste so damn..." Stacie could feel the words being spoken into her, Aubrey just moving her head a little way from her, each breath caressing Stacie. "...exquisite."

"Exquisite?" Stacie opened her eyes and her own fingers stilled and slipped out of Aubrey. A small smile spreading over Stacie's serene face as she licked them thinking the same thing about Aubrey, but it had just sounded funny. Aubrey sat up, across Stacie's chest. She ran her hands up Stacie's thighs, past where she knew Stacie wanted her fingers and left them, her hands, resting on Stacie's abdomen. "Oh Aub I'm just playing," Stacie wandered her hands up Aubrey's back, pushed a little, playfully. Wanting Aubrey spread across her again. "Please..." Another roll of her hips up off the bed. Aubrey's hands remained firm. Stacie's smile forming into a mock pout.

"I want-" Stacie's hands grabbed Aubrey's ass, a firm squeeze. Hers. Cutting off Aubrey's words and instead a guttural sound of pure need came out of her. Aubrey turned to face Stacie, sitting across her chest. She needed to see Stacie. "Ohhh!" Stacie pulled Aubrey down and she fell back a little, but swiftly stretched her arms out as Stacie wasted no time flicking her tongue out over Aubrey's clit. "fuck... I-I want," Aubrey gasped, sucking in air at the feeling of Stacie's tongue. Fast. "...Suck... Oh fuck Sta-" Stacie curled her arms tighter around Aubrey's thighs as Aubrey tried to move back, the feeling of Stacie's tongue on her too intense, but Stacie pulled her in closer. "Ohhhh fuck Stace that's Stace..." Aubrey panted as Stacie slowed. "Stace..." Slower still as she ran her tongue down Aubrey. Opening her. "Stace..." Licked into her. Deep. "ahhhh fuck y-y-Stace-just fuck..." Stacie's tongue curled out. Aubrey forced her eyes open, she wanted to see Stacie and fuck if Stacie wasn't an absolute vision. Hair splayed out in light curls, framing emerald eyes that bore into her own. No. Saw deeper. Saw her soul. Stacie licked back up Aubrey's pussy, eyes never leaving one another, the air shifted, from fun to what? No it was still fun, lust filled, but a drop in Aubreys stomach, like the feeling when you're about to drop off to sleep, maybe you have, briefly, and then you wake with a sudden but big jerk and you're more aware and awake than you can even fathom. Stacie flicked her tongue over Aubrey's clit again. It brought a faint sense of Aubrey's normal reality back, but she was still suddenly seeing the world through a brighter hue. "suck my-" and then Stacie did as instructed, sucked on her clit. Hard. "y-yeah that's-yeah fu-fu-fuck-" Stacie held Aubreys hips tight. One of Aubrey's hands went to Stacie's hair, pulled her, jerked her head into her. Her fingers twitched, tried to not dig and twist but they scraped at Stacie's scalp, as she bucked up from Stacie's chest, violently, as Aubrey's eyes squeezed tight shut and Stacie's face was soaked. Aubrey's thighs quivered. Again. And again. Aubrey came for the countless time that day. "...fuck fuck ohhhhh..." Glorious. Aubrey felt glorious. Being covered in Aubrey's sudden flood of wetness made Stacie feel warm in the pit of her stomach and wet where it counted and so close to cumming herself. Then she heard a slam. Something being thrown and hitting a wall. What?

"Aub... Is that Chloe back already?" Aubrey looked down, blinking hard to regain the colour in her world out of the bright white light that Stacie's mouth had flung her with precise precision into.

"Ugh..." Aubrey panted, confused. "Excuse me?"

"I think I just heard Chloe's door."

* * *

 

"You've done nothing Chloe nothing, Beca's just..." Aubrey rubbed Chloes back where she sat next to her, crossed legged on the couch. She took the glass of wine from Stacie before Stacie sat on the arm of the chair and curled her arm around Aubrey, she kissed the top of Aubreys head, pulling her back into her chest.

"Here."

"Mmmmm thanks." Aubrey took the glass offered to her by Stacie, took a sip, and leant her head backwards until their lips met. Perfect. Aubrey loved how they felt, wanting to turn around so she could kiss Stacie properly but now wasn't the time. It certainly wasn't the place, in front of a heart broken Chloe.

"I met her the same day Bree met you." Aubrey watched Chloe's eyes on Stacie. Red rimmed eyes. "And look at you two. You're so..." Chloe finished off her drink. Poured another one. A gulp. "...happy." Chloe sniffed. Her eyes moved between Stacies to Aubreys. "Why can't me and Bec…" A sob formed but was held in at the mention of her name. "You moved in. You're so clearly in love," Aubrey smiled, small, to herself, not knowing that her smile was matched by Stacie's. Stacie smiled as she looked down at the top of Aubrey's head, and knew that what Chloe had just said was true. They were. Right? In love. They hadn't said as such but now Chloe had it was out there. In the ether. A fact. "how come me and..." Chloe took a gulp of her drink in place of saying Beca's name, she knew she wouldn't be able to hold in a sob this time "...how couldn't... why can't we have an ounce of your happiness? What's wrong with me?"

"Chloe," Aubrey levelled her gaze at her best friend. "...you're far too good for her."

"Awes." Chloe dead panned, as she took a few long gulps almost finishing off her glass.

"Chloe... you are." Aubrey needed to get through to Chloe. "You're..." Aubrey didn't have the words. Aubrey wanted to wrap her arms around Chloe, and hug her friend tight. Show her how much she loved her. Show her how much she didn't need Beca, that all Chloe needed was her.

"Well that's just a standard thing to tell someone," Chloe finished her glass and poured herself another. "but thanks for the sentiment."

"You are though!" Aubrey repeated. "She's a fucking piece of fucking shit fucking-"

"-You thought that about her anyways-" Chloe interjected.

"-head case-"

"-Aub!" Stacie tried to calm, soothe.

"-And I was right!"

"I wouldn't say that Aub." Stacie said.

"Well I did and I would say it again. She's fucked up to be treating you like…" Aubrey didn't want to say, usually yeah she would but that was before she was right. When she was just warning Chloe away from Beca it was okay, but to actually be saying I told you so just was too far. She wanted to protect Chloe from this heartache. Not rub it in her face. She wanted to make Chloe happy. Should be simple. Right?

"Shit. You can say it. She's been treating me like a dirty little secret-"

"-What? Chloe, what's been..." Aubrey sighed, felt Stacie's arm around her tighten. "Chloe..." Aubrey wasn't stupid, but she didn't exactly know the details of what had transpired between Chloe and Beca. And she blamed herself. The last time Chloe had gone through this she had been too preoccupied with her own fucked up relationship going south, and had sworn she'd never let it happen again. But it had. And where was she? "What did she..." She had tried to protect Chloe but this time she had been too preoccupied once again with being happy in her own relationship with Stacie, and keeping that together, sure at first she had poked her nose in but that didn't sit well with Stacie, and somewhere along the line Stacie became her priority. And it killed her. She could have prevented this. She took a drink. "What did Beca do...?"

"Like exactly?" Aubrey shrugged in response. Chloe rolled her eyes, it all sounded so stupid, everything she thought of saying just didn't sum up how bad she felt or how she felt so justified in how bad she felt. Beca had what? Exactly? They had kissed, made out a few times, then they had fucked. And that's all it seemed to be. Just a fuck. Nothing more. But it was. It was so much more to Chloe. She poured her heart into Beca. But it was just a fuck. They hadn't made any promises to each other. Chloe had thought there was more to them than there clearly was. Chloe had been some alt-girls college experiment, and that was it. "I-we-... I-I let her use me, Bree, I totally, I-I dunno I thought... that maybe we had, could have had what you two have and-and I let her Bree I totally let her so… what-what does that make me?"

Aubrey's heart broke. She wanted to say something comforting but her throat felt thick. Blocked. What could she possibly say to make Chloe feel like Aubrey knew she should. Like she matters. And Chloe does. Aubrey couldn't imagine a world without Chloe. Not hers.

"Don't. Just don't, you're amazing." Chloe's eyes swelled at Stacie's use of the word, the last time she had been called amazing was by Beca. And she heard the word over and over in Beca's cadence as Stacie continued. "Chloe, you wanted to believe she was genuine. Fuck I thought she was too, I wanted, I want." Stacie ignored Aubreys hard look, signed a little in response to the look, a small roll of her eyes." I want you two to work it out and find that... happiness. I do. But you've got to talk it out with her."

"No she doesn't!"

"Yeah Aub she does."

"No. You heard her, Beca used her. Chloe's not going anywhere near that little-"

"-Yeah Aub she-."

"-Don't I get a say in this?"

* * *

 

Aubrey entwined her fingers with Stacie behind Chloe's head where they had settled with Chloe between them on the couch.

Chloe lent down, grabbed a bottle of wine, and refilled her glass. Again. Took a long drink, and topped her glass up again before putting down the bottle, with a wobbly clink as it hit an empty bottle next to it on the floor.

Stacie rose to get a drink of water, their chatter had died down a while ago and the alcohol they had all consumed made their heads swim. And Stacie didn't want to suffer a hang over the next day. Sunday or not she wanted to be up early to go to the farmers market with Aubrey, and if either one of them had a major hang over she knew that wouldn't be happening.

She returned with two bottles in one hand and one in the other.

"Let's head up?" Stacie turned off the lights.

"Stace..." Aubrey whispered over the back of the couch. "Stacie. Bring a blanket, she's fallen asleep."

"Sure you just don't wanna wake her? Take her up?"

"No no just bring over a blanket," Stacie placed the bottles of water on the floor and went back to fetch a blanket. "...she looks too peaceful to wake."

Stacie returned and draped the blanket over Chloe and lent over the couch, capturing Aubrey's lips in an awkwardly positioned kiss. Stacie's chin bumped awkward with Aubrey's nose. It felt funny but Aubrey liked the way their mouths met. Wrong. But their kiss was so right. In an appreciative, what a great best friend you are and I admire that quality in you kiss. But as always Aubrey tried to continue it, deepen the kiss, turning her body up off the couch, her hands had leverage to roam over Stacies tight red shirt. Stacie giggled into Aubreys mouth. She wasn't having any of that with Chloe asleep beside Aubrey. But she appreciated the effort of Aubrey anyways. Aubreys audacity to try anything right there in the living room.

"Let's go up." Stacie offered Aubrey her hand, but Aubrey pulled Stacie down. She fell a little, the alcohol hitting her balance. Or lack of because of the alcohol.

"Compromise?" Aubrey scooched forward and motioned for Stacie to sit behind her. Aubrey moved a little more forward, but not much as she didn't want to wake Chloe, as Stacie settled behind her. Aubrey turned her head and kissed any bare skin that her mouth could find, then she snook her hand firmly around Stacies head, threading her fingers in her hair, tugged and brought Stacie's mouth to hers. Aubrey pushed her tongue straight past Stacie's smile. Stacie gasped as Aubrey kissed and kissed her, tongue filling her mouth. Stacie's hands went straight down the front of Aubrey's tank top in response.

"Shhhhhh." Stacie whispered at Aubrey squeak in surprise breaking their kissing.

"Sorry just wasn't expecting..." Aubrey gasped at the contact, Stacie's hands gave a firm squeeze of her breasts.

"Really? What were you expecting when you kissed me like that?" Aubrey turned to kiss Stacies cheek. Chaste.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Stacie whispered into Aubreys ear making her shiver.

"Being here for her." Aubrey turned her head, awkwardly, but she needed to taste Stacie again, always did, always wanted Stacie. Tongues wet and sticky in each others mouths as they kissed lazily. Aubreys hands wandered up over Stacies legs where they wrapped around her. Close. Tight. Comforting. Hers.

Stacie held her close, one hand dipping down over Aubrey's twitching stomach, the other still squeezing and flexing her fingers at her breasts. Aubrey's breathing painfully shallow, trying to control each breath in. Each breath out.

Aubrey continued her ministrations up Stacies legs, up her thighs, scraping with her nails, as she turned a little in Stacies grasp pushing her hands further until they wandered over Stacies very short shorts at her centre.

"Let's just go up." Stacie whispered but Aubrey shook her head as she tried to keep in her smile. Trying to look stern. Serious. "Don't start what you can't finish..." Stacie warned, but Aubrey couldn't help but smile at Stacie's tone.

"Who said I wasn't going to finish what I started?" Aubrey whispered back. Stacie gave her an incredulous look and was met with a cheeky sparkle in Aubrey's eyes. Aubreys big wide smile made Stacie melt. "She's asleep..."

"Aub..." Stacie warned again, as Aubrey's fingers dipped down to the flimsy material of Stacie's shorts. She could feel the heat radiating from Stacie. Pushed on the shorts, down, felt how damp Stacie was and rubbed her through them. Teasing. Wanting to move them a little to the side, just enough for her fingers to be coated with Stacie's wetness but she was enjoying the movement of Stacie's hips grinding against her. Stacie surged forward to take Aubrey's lips, to stop her own moan. Her own whimper at the feeling of Aubrey's long slender fingers against her, wanting them to be inside her. Stacie gasped into Aubrey's mouth. Aubrey's mouth not able to contain, to swallow the noise, what with smiling at Stacie's reaction. But as much as Aubrey tried Aubrey couldn't tease her long, she couldn't take the teasing herself and began to kiss Stacie again as she dipped one finger under the flimsy material, slipped it straight into Stacie, a moan, hers, Aubrey moaned at the feeling of Stacie, at the feeling of doing this on the couch, her head swam, light, she curled her finger, she could feel Chloe curled up behind her and it made it all the more exciting, thrilling, she bit her lip but another moan escaped as she pulled her finger out. Her finger spreading Stacie's wetness up, around her pussy, then a small light touch, a brush over her clit.

Stacies lips stilled against Aubrey's, hearing movement beside them.

"Shit sorry guys I'll... guys I'm...I-I'm sorry..." Chloe said with her eyes half shut as she moved to get off the couch, "I'll go-" but was stopped by Aubreys hand on her arm.

"-Don't..."


	22. Chapter 22

Aubrey turned to look into Stacie's eyes. Her hand still on Chloe, fingers wrapped tight around her arm. Tight out of fear. Aubrey's eyes searched to see if Stacie was good. To try and figure out if this was a good idea. If Stacie was on the same page, was this a page they should be on? Aubrey found them dark, from all the teasing, right? Turned on because of her. Just her. From seconds ago.

Stacie's eyes roamed Aubrey's face.

Aubrey felt no judgement from Stacie's gaze. Aubrey felt she was safe to lean back in and kiss Stacie.

Stacies kiss was polite, gentle, tentative.

Aubrey's was passionate. Aubrey licked past Stacie's tight lipped kiss, making Stacie moan before placing another wet kiss on her lips. Aubrey moved her head away, looked into Stacie's eyes again, still dark. Confused? Did her own reflect Stacie's? Confused but turned on? Stacie, Aubrey could see in her eyes, was turned on. She was. She could see it in the intensity. Aubrey could see it in the rise and fall of Stacie's chest. How it flushed. How Stacie shook, a little. What the shit?

Stacie felt Chloe beside them. Watching. Watch as she and Aubrey kissed. Sleepy eyes now big, dazed and confused.

Aubrey's hand was still on Chloe but instead of letting go like she was meant to, she was meant to. Right? Instead Aubrey pulled her in. Aubrey couldn't bare to look in Chloe's eyes. Already knowing that she would find pain but she had to, she had to look. Had to know. Chloe glanced down at Aubrey's lips as Aubrey worked up the courage to look into her eyes. Aubrey liked how Chloe's gaze lingered. Aubrey liked how Chloe's own mouth trembled. For her? For her. She wasn't meant to. Right? Aubrey shouldn't like it when Chloe looks at her like that. Anymore. Right? Right. Aubrey moved in but faltered right at the last second. Right at the last few inches as she looked back at Stacie and found Stacies dark eyes fixed on Chloe. Not on her. On Chloe. Fuck. Stacie was staring at Chloe's lips. Aubrey wasn't sure how she felt about that. Stacie's eyes on Chloe. Fuck. She'd figure that out later. Aubrey turned her head back around and Chloe was closer, an inch between them, she felt Chloe's breath against her own. Shaky. She felt her fingers around Chloe's arm flexing. She was flexing them. Right? Right. Because Aubrey needed to be in control. So why when she looked down at her arm, her hand, on Chloe, did it feel like a strangers? A phantom limb.

Stacie watched, entranced. No. Frozen. She didn't know whether to what? Kick off? Go with it? She was too turned on by Aubrey for that. And Chloe needed to be shown, what? Attentive attention? Chloe would have what? Fuck. What? Chloe would have what? Why was that Aubrey's job to do? Stacie couldn't really think as Aubrey, her fucking Aubrey got closer to Chloe. And Closer. And then-

Chloe felt Aubreys shaky breath dancing with her own as Aubrey closed the gap.

-Her Aubrey kissed Chloe.

Hers.

Stacie's.

Chloe.

Chloe's?

Chloe would have what?

Aubrey placed a light kiss on her lips. Chloe felt a ghost rattling at a cage deep within her. And then Aubrey withdrew. Not very far because Chloe could still feel Aubrey's hot breath against her mouth. And she wasn't moving away so Chloe moved forward, needing that small amount of control as their mouths connected again. Slow.

Stacie watched, unblinking. Fascination. Jealousy. Anger building. But fuck! she was turned on. Already. And this was turning her on more. And she hated it. Hated that this was making her wet. Hated that she couldn't tear her eyes away, hated that she couldn't make herself tear them away from one another. Anger. More and more, watching Aubrey's mouth repeatedly connecting, she couldn't use the word kiss, that just wasn't what they were doing, Chloe and her Aubrey, they weren't kissing. What the shit? Over and over. Were they like gonna stop? Come up for air? Kissing. Fuck there it was. Fucking kissing. Aubrey was slowly kissing Chloe's mouth. Her Aubrey. Stacie moved to kiss Aubreys neck, brushed her hair away, licked her lips at the sight of her Aubrey's neck muscles moving as she kissed Chloe. She was feeling too much. But too many things. All at once. If she hadn't moved in and put her lips, her mouth, trailed her tongue over Aubrey she honestly don't know what would have done. She needed to feel Aubrey, make Aubrey know she was hers. She didn't want this. Did she? Why is she still kissing Aubrey's neck? Why is she letting them kiss? Fuck, does she even have a say in this? Aubrey hadn't even said anything, asked, fucking nothing, this was just happening. Could she stop Aubrey doing this? Stacie moved her mouth closer and closer and kissed, left hot, open mouthed kisses, let her tongue trail and taste on each kiss up Aubrey's neck. Her hands claimed Aubrey's body. That was hers. She roamed over Aubrey's torso. Up. Hers. No matter what Chloe was doing. No matter how much longer Chloe had known Aubrey, she was just her friend. Aubrey's best friend but Stacie was her girl friend. Girl friend trumped best friend. Right? Right. Her hands squeezed Aubrey's breasts over Aubrey's top. Aubrey was hers. Hers. Not Chloe's. Hers. Fuck Chloe. Fuck were they about to? Fuck Chloe?

The three of them?

Together.

What the? Actual shit?

Aubrey moaned, breaking her kisses with Chloe because of the feeling of Stacies lips, of Stacie's hands, Stacie's kisses getting hotter and wetter on her neck. Aubrey turned, moved her head to capture Stacies lips. But she moved an inch back when she didn't feel Stacie kissing her back. Aubrey waited for Stacie to open her eyes. When she did, Aubrey kissed her again. Light. Hoping to kiss away the hurt she found in them.

"Okay?" Aubrey mumbled against Stacies lips.

Stacie answered with a light moan and closed the millimetre gap between them, kissing Aubrey firmer, fiercer. Tongue slipping into Aubreys mouth. Aubrey smiled into their kiss as it broke and she brought Chloe, her hand still on Chloe's arm, in close. Her hand trailed up Chloe's arm, up her neck and cupped her jaw. Light.

Aubrey raised her eye brows. Stacie looked back at her confused but then got it as Aubrey nodded her head a little, granting Stacie and Chloe permission. Aubrey needed Chloe to feel as amazing as she did when Stacie kissed her. That was good. Right?

Chloe closed the gap. Her lips meeting Stacie's. A chaste closed mouthed kiss. She tugged on Stacie's bottom lip. Stacie gasped, opening and flicking her tongue out. Chloe pulled back, a small smile then she moved forward again needing to feel. Anything. Chloe flicked her tongue over Stacies full bottom lip, and tentatively Stacie opened to her, unsure but Chloe licked into her mouth. Slow. Stacie bit down on Chloe's bottom lip. Her turn to tug a little, a small smile forming on Stacie's face to match Chloe's, as she dove back in, quick and kissed her. Harder. More sure. Stacie moved her head back a little, looking down into Chloe's eyes. She found them brighter than they had been all night, but still hurt was in each fleck, as she moved in again, no Chloe moved up to meet her, and they kissed again. And again. Slow. Tongues exploring. If Aubrey could kiss her then damn right Stacie could do it. And Chloe is gorgeous. No. Stacie didn't just think that. But Chloe is. And her lips feel different to Aubreys. She kissed differently to Aubrey. Stacie can taste Aubrey in every sweep of Chloe's tongue on hers. And it kills her. It fucking kills her.

Beside them, Aubrey watched with a pang in her chest. She took Stacies head in both hands, turned Stacie to face her and crashed their mouths together. Hard. Fast. A small bite, or two, as she twirled her tongue in Stacie's mouth, tasting Chloe's strawberry lip gloss on her girlfriends mouth. Aubrey hadn't been ready for that. To feel pain at seeing Stacie and Chloe kissing. It wasn't something she had ever imagined. Honest. Ish. Certainly never imagined actually happening. She needed her mouth to be the only one to kiss either woman.

Aubrey felt and found Chloe's head, pulled her in, moved to place a quick kiss on her mouth before pulling her into her neck and Chloe latched her lips onto Aubrey's pulse point, loving the feeling of Aubrey's hand scrunched in her hair, no she hated it because it sent a shiver through her the way it had when Beca had done the same thing but her lips sucking on Aubrey's neck elicited a moan from Aubrey. And fuck if that made Chloe feel a slither of good again. Aubrey could always do that. Find a crack in Chloe's pain and find the happiness.

Aubrey moved her kisses from Stacie to Chloe again. Chloe whimpered into Aubreys mouth as she got bolder and her hands joined Stacie's on Aubreys front. Chloe pushed Aubrey's top up, and let her hands wander over Aubreys bare stomach, down, as Stacie massaged Aubrey's breasts through her now bunched up top. Aubrey's eyes closed, feeling Chloe's lips on hers again, after far too much time. She felt Stacie's hands squeezing her through her top, felt herself burning under Stacie's touch. Aubrey felt herself melting at Chloe's lips. A shiver ran through her body, she shook as her hips rolled up to meet Chloe's rolling down. Chloe climbing closer, between her legs, into her lap, Stacie's legs encircled her, encircled them. Long and smooth. Protective. Stacie's hands moved, slipped down the straps of Aubrey's tank top. Aubrey felt the cool air hitting her naked breasts as Stacie moved, knelt down and sucked a hardening nipple into her mouth. Aubrey was hers. She would claim her body. Tongue twirled, a small bite, soothed instantly by Stacie's lips. Aubrey moaned, whimpered into Chloe's open mouthed deep kisses, as her hands played in Chloe's hair, one coming down, over Chloe's shoulders and behind her, bringing her, pulling her closer. Needing Chloe to feel what she was feeling. Aubrey's hand found the zip at the back of Chloe's dress with little difficulty and slid it down. The noise of the zip coming undone, filled the room. Chloe pulled back a little, moving to slink out her dress, arms coming down as she gave Stacie space to kiss across from one of Aubreys bare breasts to the other. Chloe watched as she saw what she had tried so hard to never imagine. Stacie with Aubrey. Stacie and Aubrey together. And she had heard them plenty and it had hurt, only a small bit, honest, because she was trying to find her happiness with Beca, and Aubrey just wasn't allowed to be that for her. Aubrey lent back against the couch. Aubrey's eyes locked with hers. Chloe lost all the breath in her body.

Chloe's cell phone rang. The door bell rang.

She quickly hit 'reject', but stumbled up, zipping herself back up.

Chloe stood. Frozen. Breathing heavy. Shallow.

Aubrey pulled her top straps back over her, and pulled her top down, back over where Chloe's hands had been wandering, down.

Chloe's fingers tingled. She knew where it was headed, and was scared that she had been enjoying it. Fuck. Of course she had been enjoying it. No not enjoying but it was a distraction. A small stroll down a lane she never thought she would wander down again. Not with Stacie in the picture. She ghosted her fingers over her lips, moving back and away from the couch. Stumbling. Unable to look back at the other two women.

The door bell rang again. Her phone rang again.

Chloe left Aubrey and Stacie without a word as she headed for the door.

Opened it.

"Umm... hey."

"Hey?"

"Yeah... wow you look..." Beca's eyes wandered over Chloe, her dress, this was meant for her. Fuck. "ummm..."

"Just," Chloe grabbed Beca's wrist, pulled her over the threshold. She sighed. "...just get in." Chloe was shaking. Anger. Turned on. So turned on. So angry. At herself. At Aubrey. At Stacie, and Beca. Mostly Beca. She gripped Beca's wrist tighter, pulled her stumbling along into the house. Hated herself for liking the feeling of Beca's wrist in her hand. Hated herself for letting Beca into the house.

Chloe passed by the living room, headed straight for the stairs, up the stairs with Beca.

Aubrey and Stacie were gone.

* * *

 

"Was that...?" Stacie didn't know what to say. She had taken Aubreys hand and high tailed it up to their room the second Chloe was out of sight.

Aubrey sat on the bed. Cross legged. Looked up at Stacie pacing.

"I dunno…"

"Aub… Do we? Are we gonna talk about what just happened?"

"I dunno…"

Stacie stopped her pacing right in front of Aubrey. She had her hands in her hair, facing away. She crouched. Then sat on the hard wood floor, scootched back against the bed. Their bed. Her legs hugged tight to her chest.

"I only want you. Okay?"

Aubrey moved, uncrossing her legs and sat with them dangling down on either side of Stacie.

"Okay."

Stacie turned her head to look up at Aubrey. She nodded, trying to smile. To reassure Aubrey. To reassure herself.

"Only you okay... and you?"

"-Only you. I only want you Stace." Aubrey leant over and kissed the top of Stacie's head. Lingering. Breathing her in. "Can we just ignore tonight happened?"

"Kind of have to."

* * *

 

"No!"

"Please Chlo-"

"No!" Chloe pushed Beca away. Beca's hands fell to her side, from where they had tried to run through Chloe's hair. Tried to pull Chloe close. Need. Beca stood with her head down, hair falling over her face. Silent. "Say something!"

"I-I-... ummm...I didn't mean to..." The air hung silent between them. Beca had to say something. Anything. Not the truth. Never that. If Chloe found out about Jesse, she fuck! knows. "Chlo-I-fuck-I-I had to umm had to stay yeah I had to stay at the station, yeah I had to cover for Luke at-at the station and-"

"Don't-" Chloe held in an expletive. "-lie," She gulped, "... to me." A shuddered breath. "You stood me up."

"Yea-yeah uhhh," Hands ran through her own hair. "I-I got so-fuck-I dunno. I didn't know... I didn't know-"

"-How much it would hurt me? Well yeah, yeah you did know Bec."

"Don't."

"Don't? Don't what?"

"Don't say my name like that. I fuck I'm-" Beca puffed out a breath "I think I'm..."

"What? Bec," Chloe said her name slow. On purpose. With purpose. "...what?"

"Falling."

"Falling?" Beca nodded up at her. Wanting Chloe to understand without her having to actually say it.

Chloe did. Her anger, all of it just drained from her. She knew exactly what Beca meant. Because she was too.

Falling.

Chloe sat on her bed. Left Beca standing. She swung her legs over. Sat back against the headboard, legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles. Looked relaxed, was anything but. Turmoil inside.

"S-say something, Chlo... please?"

"Me too." Chloe looked at the empty space beside her, and nodded from Beca to it. Beca crawled up the bed. Lay on her side, head down against Chloe's bed. The night before blossomed in her mind from the seed of the smell of being next to Chloe. "I get it." Beca looked up, puzzled and then thankful when Chloe smiled down at her. "I do Bec, I get it. You're..." Chloe ran a hand over Beca's hair, loved how Beca hummed at her touch. "You were scared, right? That's all." Beca nodded, her eyes locked with Chloe's and fell in. All she saw were Chloe's understanding compassionate eyes. Safe because of her. She didn't deserve her. "We can, Bec, I want to work through it, we can. Together." Beca sat up next to Chloe, her feet planted squarely on Chloes bed. Making a triangle with her legs. "Take out your phone."

"What?"

"Go on twitter," Beca sent her a questioning look "Go on..." Chloe nudged her. Playful. "...type what I type..." Beca watched Chloe, she tried to hide her small smirk, couldn't.

"Go on then, post it."

"You." Chloe said with a bright smile, her smile. Beca's smile. Because of Beca, because of Beca's confidence returning. The hint of a dare in Beca's tone.

"Okay," Beca bit her lip, instantly crumbling to Chloe. "like after three?"

"On three or like on an imaginary four?"

"Erm one two then on three?" Beca conceded. "Yeah on three."

"One," Chloe started. "Two," Beca joined Chloe's voice. "Three." Together.

"Did you do it?" Beca moved back onto her side. Chloe giggled. "Did you? Chlo!"

"Maybe." A wink.

"Don't-don't tease me Chlo... did you post it?" Beca reached for Chloe's phone, Chloe dropped it down the side of the bed with a thud as Beca struggled over her to find the phone. She tickled Becas sides. Beca fought her off and found the phone. Held it right in Chloe's face. "Show me."

"Did you?" Chloe countered. Secretly loving the panic in Becas entire demeanour as she pawed at Becas dark blue shirt, slipping her fingers under, smiling that Beca had nothing under her shirt, teasing. Beca? Herself? She knew she needed more.

"Yes." Beca said in earnest. "Chlo did you-"

"-Of course-" Beca lent into Chloe and kissed her. Chloe smiled into it. Chloe's fingers wandered up Becas back, as far as Beca's shirt would let her, finding her skin hot. Beca ripped her shirt off of herself, allowing Chloe's hands to continue up her back, pop the clasp on her bra, and that too was gone. Chloe sat back on her bent knees, and looked down at Beca. Chloe's eyes dared her, coaxed her to come to her. Beca did. She sat up on her knees and kissed Chloe. Chloe let her, for a few long languid wet kisses before she pushed, a little and Beca fell back, under Chloe. Beca fell in love with Chloe over and over, each time she laid eyes on her, each time she thought about her, she fell for her every time. Could feel herself falling right now, and Chloe, she hoped, would catch her. Beca moved her hands over Chloe's dress, loving the feel of the material against her palms but wanting to feel Chloe's skin again, like the night before, against hers. Chloe lent back up on her knees as she playfully pushed Beca's hands away. Beca watched Chloe climb up the bed towards her, Chloe's eyes focused, locked on where her mouth was going to be. Between Becas legs. Beca watched Chloe take in her lip, a small moan as she did so, bit back and released as Chloe let her lip go, smiling up at Beca, eyes now staring straight into Becas. Telling Beca she was hers. Beca opened her legs, allowing Chloe to move between them. Beca's legs came up around Chloe, held her. In place. Where she belonged. Tight. Beca's own hands went to her jeans, popped the button, down went the zip as she watched Chloe's eyes dip down. Watching her. Beca squealed. Delight. As Chloe pulled her down further, laying her flat out on the bed as she pulled down Beca's jeans. Slow. Chloe's eyes taking in every dip of muscle and shape of Beca's legs. Trying to commit every inch of skin to memory. Then flung them behind her with abandon. Beca was hers. Here was her happiness. Chloe quickly sank down Beca's body feeling Beca trembling, shaking under her. Chloe kissed her stomach as her hands squeezed a little roughly at Beca's breasts, trailed her tongue down until she was kissing Beca through her panties. Chloe wanted to get Beca riled up, see her soak through her panties because of her. Then and only then would she peal them off. With her teeth. Beca moaned above her and Chloe took Beca's hands in hers at Beca's hips to stop Beca taking off her panties herself. Chloe licked Beca through the material. Sucked her and saw with every roll of Beca's hips her getting wetter and wetter through her panties. Chloe licked up Beca, and tasted her, smelled her through the material before biting at Beca's panties, a small tug, helped by Beca lifting her hips high off the bed with a high pitched gasp. Then they were gone. Chloe let one of Beca's hands go, her free hand travelled up Beca's sweaty form until she had a breast in her hand again, a gentler touch this time. Beca's free hand went straight to her own hair because her instinct that she fought was to travel it down, bunch it hard in Chloe's hair and push her down, so she raked her fingers through her own hair as Chloe pressed her tongue in and up Beca's folds. Then back down again, then up again, a little deeper before twirling her tongue over, just barely, over Beca's clit. A tease. She wanted Beca begging. And she would. And she did. For her. She moved her head back, to watch Beca's legs digging into the bed sheets. Chloe smiled. Their eyes met. Chloe was smiling her smile, Beca's smile. Her secret smile as her warm pink tongue lapped out again and licked up all of Beca's pussy, just once, the taste of Beca overwhelming her, making her feel right again. Chloe turned her head, and kissed Beca's thigh, turned to the other side and kissed her other thigh, smiling into each and every kiss as she ran her fingers up, leaving Beca tingling ready for them to replace where her tongue had been. Slowly she ran a single digit up and into Beca. Beca grabbed the sheets with her free hand, it didn't anchor her to the the earth enough so she moved to grasp at Chloe's head. A hard tug, that Beca quickly released. They smiled at one another as Beca gave Chloe's hair a smaller tug. Chloe bit her lip, her eyes glazing over. Dark. Needy then pushed another finger in. Then back out. Licked her two fingers with her eyes intently on Beca's pussy before briefly flicking her gaze up, and smirked at Beca's eyes watching her, Beca's mouth slightly open, Beca's eyes fighting to stay open. Fighting to stay open and watch as Chloe lowered her head spurred on by Beca's groan and sucked on Becas lips. Chloe dipped her tongue in again, briefly, rewarded by a flood over her tongue of Beca's juices. Thicker than before. She wanted more, loved the way Beca was coating her lips, the inside of her mouth. What was going to be a brief tease turned into Chloe not being able to move from licking and kissing deep into Beca until she felt and heard Beca cumming. Hard. Fast. Chloe loved feeling sticky because of Beca. With Beca. Their hands entwined at Beca's hip. Chloe held Beca down. Together. Beca's thighs shook, and tried to clamp around Chloe's head, her hips twisted up and off the bed from how sensitive she felt and the need to be away from Chloe's mouth. But like not really she loved the feeling of Chloe's mouth on her but couldn't take any more. Chloe held her harder as she sucked on Beca's clit feeling her shaking, hearing broken moans, hearing her name almost tumble out of her mouth but Beca bit every one back, as Beca climaxed. Chloe licked her thighs, where Beca was wet, licked and tasted everything Beca had to give Chloe as Beca tumbled down, breathing slowing, and just as she felt Beca start to relax back against the bed again she pushed three fingers into Beca. She felt a pressure, but she felt Beca relax with a stuttered gasp, and then a low moan, Beca's hips straining off the bed in response. Chloe continued licking and sucking on Beca's clit. Chloe pushed, curled in and out Beca as Beca's strangled high pitched gasps filled the room. The pressure of Chloe inside her hurt, in a wicked way, in a way that wasn't painful except in the way Beca knew that it would stop and she never wanted it to. She wanted more. And told Chloe so. Chloe built Beca up and up and up again close, so close to climax again, quicker this time but then moved back. Sat back. Up. Fingers still deep in Beca. Beca fought her eyes open. Saw Chloe's smile. Wicked grin. Her grin. The smile just for Beca. As she curled her fingers hard inside of Beca, then pulled out, as she felt Beca contract around her, soft but strong, desperate to keep Chloe inside her, but she slid out, brought her fingers up to her mouth, sucked the sweet taste of Beca off them, the sweet taste hit Chloe's tongue and made her realise just how wet she herself was. Beca's eyes were dark as the hand that had been grasping in Chloe's hair, moved over, and down Chloe's glistening face as Chloe moved up Beca's body. Beca held her face. Kissed Chloe. Shiny with sweat. Glistening because of Beca, with Beca, Beca's fingers moved slowly over Chloe's nose, dipped into Chloe's mouth as they kissed and then down her own body. Quick. Until she was at her own pussy and she shivered again as she skimmed over her clit, down into herself as she pushed one finger in. It wasn't nearly enough after feeling Chloe inside her. But Chloe wasn't moving to be inside her again. Instead Chloe was entranced by seeing Beca so free. Seeing Beca touch herself. A gasp. Hers? Chloe's? As Beca rubbed hard and fast over her clit with her thumb until she couldn't see Chloe's wicked grin any more. Saw nothing. Beca's hips bucked faster and faster as she tumbled over, slipping her finger from herself back up to the corner of Chloe's mouth. Chloe sucked in the digit, that taste was hers. Sweet but salty with sweat. Chloe took both of Beca's hands in hers, turned them and kissed the palms, turned them again and placed a light kiss on the top of each one. Chloe leant over and found and picked up both their phones. "Ready to post the next tweet?"

"Thud."


	23. Chapter 23

Aubrey lay curled on her side in the velvet darkness of the blackest night, tears burning bright behind her eyes. She wouldn't let them form. She could hold it all in. She could and she would. She believed in her own will. Determination. Her back to the middle of the bed. Cold. Space. Back to Stacie. Slightly hunched, covers up around her. She fought a shiver. Aubrey hoped Stacie was asleep. Aubrey couldn't take the silence between them. Stacie's rejection of her made her feel worthless. She had never felt that with Stacie. Off Stacie. Stacie built her up, made her the best she could be. Made her happy. But what if Stacie was just with her for convenience? Just because she was hot. Yeah Aubrey knows she's hot. She's tall and blonde so yeah she's like conventionally hot. She knows this, doesn't use it to any advantage. Was Stacie with her just for that? Like he had been? Stacie was with her for more than that? Right? Right? But Stacie had went along with whatever the shit was going down. Happening. About to happen? With Chloe. Fucking Chloe. Fuck. Stacie went with it. Willingly. She did Aubrey knew she fucking did. And if that was true, and it was, then what? Stacie was just with her for the sex. Right? No. No she couldn't be, they were, what? Together. Just the two of them. About to be three of them, and then Aubrey remembers him. He would always ask. That. Jokingly ask cause hey it's college and you've got to experiment. Right? But he didn't deserve Chloe. She would never let him anywhere near Chloe. Her and Chloe. Not like that. So why now? Why had she initiated this. What he had always wanted but with Stacie? She needed to turn and talk it all out. Needed to. Was probably best if she did. No. Knew it was the right thing to do. Talk this out. But she didn't want to. Couldn't. So fucking wouldn't. Ignore and it would go away. Ignore. Walls up. Pretend Chloe didn't happen. What the actual shit had she done? Ignore it. Bottle it up. Keep it in check. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Drill. And Chloe. God Aubrey didn't even wanna start thinking about that. About her. What tonight may have done to Chloe. Chloe. Her Chloe. She couldn't be hers. Not any more. Tonight made that perfectly fucking clear. Chloe was probably with Beca right now. That killed her. That shouldn't kill her but it does. It really fucking does. It hurts. And it doesn't matter. She doesn't matter. What the shit? Just what fucking even? She wanted Stacie. Just her. She wasn't allowed to want Chloe. Wasn't. Fuck. Sleep please let sleep take over her body, her mind and let it be quiet, a good kind of peaceful quiet in her brain just for a few hours please please please let the silence not slice her like a knife.

Stacie lay looking up into nothingness.

A single tear that she let run down the side of her face, she didn't hold it in, or sniff it away, she just let it be.

Single.

Alone.

She was enrobed in the black of night, the moon light hadn't crept to her side of the bed. It highlighted Aubrey's hair, splayed out on the pillow beside her. And stopped there. Aubrey was her light. So why was she in darkness?

She had tried to make love, she didn't wanna just fuck, she didn't wanna just bang, no she needed to show Aubrey that she loved her, so yeah she had tried to make love to Aubrey when they returned to her room, their room.

Theirs.

It was still theirs.

Right?

It was theirs.

Dammit.

So what if she felt like she didn't belong there. That didn't mean a fucking thing. Okay.

She had tried to ignore the images that invaded her mind every time she closed her eyes. Every time she opened her eyes. Fuck all she could see in her mind was Aubrey kissing Chloe. Chloe kissing her Aubrey. Hers. She was hers. Was? Is. Is? Chloe's hands wandering down Aubrey stomach. Down. Where only her own hands belong. Belonged? Seeing Aubrey being into it. Into Chloe. Just as Aubrey was into her, the two of them now, alone, together, like it was meant to be but when she had pealed off Aubrey's shorts, no panties underneath because they still lay flung off into a shadowed corner of the room because they had spent all day in bed together. The day had been amazing. A Saturday, the Saturday she had promised Flo she would meet up and go over some work with but she had flaked, and stayed in bed.

Stayed with Aubrey.

Her Aubrey.

Her? Aubrey.

Stacie had pealed off Aubrey's shorts and could see, fuck, she could see that Aubrey was soaking.

Already.

And Stacie had barely been able to touch her since returning to their room.

Theirs.

Just her. And Aubrey. And the dark shadow of Chloe, hanging over them like a maleficent spirit.

Ready to go off at the smallest, the lightest touch. She could tell. Cause she's Stacie. And Stacie knows. Knows when it comes to Aubrey when Aubrey's close to cumming.

Already so close.

And she hadn't even touched her. Hardly.

Why was Aubrey soaking? Why did she look like she was seconds away? Why was her breathing so shallow? Hitching?

Because of her?

Or Chloe?

She had tried. She had, honest, and the more she did the more it hurt.

Her.

Stacie just couldn't do it. Aubrey had turned over. Faced away. No words, like she knew it wasn't happening.

They weren't happening.

Stacie didn't speak.

Aubrey didn't speak.

Both afraid of what they would say, so they remained in silence.

Stacie had turned the light off and had prayed for sleep.

And even though Aubrey didn't say anything to indicate she was hurting, Stacie knew. Stacie knew she was hurting her.

Aubrey had hurt her. Aubrey had hurt her just as much. Hurt them.

Fuck, how was Stacie meant to ignore that tonight had happened? How? The shit?

In the way Aubrey couldn't look at her, look in her eyes, the way her shoulders hunched as she curled up small beside Stacie, in the way Stacie felt lonely, how could she feel so lonely when Aubrey was beside her?

Did Aubrey feel lonely too?

Did Stacie make her feel like that? Rejected. And she had. Hadn't she?

No.

Maybe. Yes.

Aubrey had fucking done this. She had initiated whatever the fuck went down with Chloe. What had happened? What was going to happen? No don't even think about it, down that path lies endless possibilities and they had agreed to ignore it, it had never happened. Never. Happened. So why did Stacie feel she was in the wrong? Or did she just feel wrong? Fuck.

She had lent in, kissed up Aubrey's legs as they hung off the side of the bed and needed to taste Aubrey, but hadn't wanted to.

Why was there so much difference between needing and wanting?

She still needed Aubrey.

Right?

Yeah, yeah totally, so why did Stacie want to be anywhere but in the bed beside Aubrey?

Not wanting to was new to her. Not wanting Aubrey was, fuck, was what? Not in her wheelhouse. She had wanted Aubrey since literally the first time she had laid eyes on her.

Now Aubrey lay curled up, into a ball, on her side, facing away from her. Covers up around her.

Asleep.

She hoped she was asleep. She needed time. Stacie needed time to go over and over the night in her mind.

Alone.

But she was never alone now. Always Aubrey. Aubrey who used to respond like that, get wet like that because of her. Now she wasn't sure, was that because of her? Or Chloe? Her or Chloe? Her or fucking Chloe?

So she stared into the void, not seeing the room around her, not really feeling Aubrey beside her. Nothing. Black. Alone. Filled with regret. If she had only stopped it, stopped her as soon as Aubrey had stopped Chloe in her tracks, then Aubrey, then she, then Chloe would never had-

Chloe would have what?

* * *

 

Chloe's fingers stilled in Beca.

"The fuck?!" Beca gasped. "Chlo?!" Beca continued to move her hips, gaining some friction but nothing like moments earlier. She reached down, taking Chloe's wrist and pressing into and gripping it hard. "P-please I'm so-" Beca gasped, a strangled moan escaped her, but it was swallowed by Chloe's mouth on hers. Chloe curled her fingers inside Beca. Hard. She let Becas hips continue to do the work, enjoying the feeling of Becas desperation for release when it was Chloe who needed it. Chloe had been so worked up, and now she was done. Why wasn't Beca reciprocating. They had, quite frankly, been at the deed, since Beca had arrived at her door. Drunk. Always drunk. Chloe pulled her fingers out. Beca grabbed at Chloe's hand and pushed it back down, "I'm so close." Beca muttered into Chloe's ear, and Chloe gave in, curled, slipped so easily back into Beca, but she wouldn't let Beca cum so easily.

"Work it." Chloe whispered back into Beca's ear, licking it as Beca began to grind. "Uhhh yeah Bec," Beca shivered as she almost came at the sound of her name falling off Chloe's tongue as she grinds harder against Chloe's hand "Work it, show me how much you want me," Chloe uncurled her fingers slowly as she felt Beca tightening around her fingers, "Yeah like that, Bec, fuck show me how much you want me..." Chloe curled her fingers inside harder and harder, pressed up, hard, feeling how soft Beca was inside, then just as she recognises the moan Beca starts to make, the way she starts to shake, because Chloe knows now, Chloe has that knowledge of what Beca sounds, and looks like right before she's about to let go, and so she let's go, she pulls her fingers out of Beca and leaves her wanting. Needing. Her.

Chloe sat back on her haunches.

"Chlo?!"

"Rebecca. Mitchell."

"Chlo?" Beca wasn't sure if Chloe was serious or pretending to be serious, Beca didn't really care, she cared about Chloe getting her off.

"Nope."

"Nope?"

"I've made you cum over and over … and you..." Chloe sighed. "Bec...?" Chloe looked at her very matter of fact, big blue eyes unblinking. "Why aren't you getting me off?"

"Ugh Chlo..." Beca was fighting just moving her own hand down herself again and essentially finishing off the job herself. "this isn't the time..."

"I think now is exactly the time..." Chloe's hand moved to be on her hip. Beca's breath failed for a few seconds as she took in the sight of Chloe's arms. Arms that were just less that a minute ago tensing and flexing.

"Please can you-can you drop it?"

"None, that's how many Bec." Stern. "None." Then Chloe's eyes grew soft, blinked slow, hooded as she whispered. "Why haven't you?"

Silence fell between them as Beca shifted uncomfortably, unable to close her legs with Chloe still sitting between them.

Beca ached. She didn't think she could ever want someone, a woman, to touch her as much as she wanted Chloe to touch her right there. It scared her. Upset her. Confused the shit out of her. But she was here. That was something. That meant something. Right?

Chloe's nonchalant look was starting to falter the longer the silence between them grew, until Beca couldn't take it any more.

"I'm not a dyke!" Beca spat the word out, spat it at Chloe. Hatred. Hated that word. "Okay?!"

"I'm not saying you are but you sure look like you enjoy my tongue in your pussy!"

"Chlo..." Beca's voice came out small. "I don't... I-I can't ummm I can't talk about... this... please I just..."

"Don't. Don't do this-don't shut me out, Bec, please... whatever it is, please please just tell me what the hell is wrong. We can get through it, I just, I'd like to know what's going on," Chloe touched a finger lightly to the side of Beca's temple. "...in there." Beca jerked away. Chloe waited for a response but Beca couldn't even look at her any more. Chloe tried to stroke the dip in Beca's waist but Beca twitched, shrank back, away from her. "I'm so sick of you Bec... I'm sick of you shutting me out, I'm sick of wanting you anyways..." Chloe watched as she backed away from Beca, and Beca made no move to stop her. Made no move to bring Chloe in, bring Chloe back. Chloe moved out from between Beca's legs, up and off the bed. She waited, silence built between them, as Chloe waited just a little bit more, hoping for Beca to say something. Anything. Silence. "...just-just leave then…" Chloe regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, even before, as they had ran past her brain and out her mouth before she knew it. "If that's what you want…" More dead air between them, "If you don't want me tell me Bec if I'm not... if you don't want me please... please please just fucking," Beca's eyes lifted and briefly found hers at Chloe's use of the expletive "...please Bec just tell me, let me down gently, Bec don't fuck please just make up your mind cause this, you, us, is fucking with mine, do you want me or not?" Chloe waited and waited until she couldn't even breathe any more and then waited some more for Beca to explain what was going on inside her head. "What... who are you running-who are you hiding from Bec? I wish you'd just tell me..." Beca looked away again, eyes what? Void of feeling. Dead eyes that couldn't look at her any more. What was Beca thinking? What?! Chloe wanted to shake her, wanted to crawl inside her brain and figure it out herself, but it all had to come from Beca. Beca said nothing. Beca's eyes downcast. "Go..." Chloe barely whispered. "please I can't..." Her voice cracked. "You can't even..." Her voice shook, growing louder. " You can't even fucking look at me, just-just fuck! Get the fuck out!"

"Fuck! Fine I'll leave then!"

"Seriously," Her eyes tried to search out Beca's, not caring how hurt she knew she sounded, how desperate, but Beca was already up and moving. "You'd rather leave than tell me what's," Chloe gulped back a sob. "than tell me what's wrong..?"Beca fidgeted with the buttons of her shirt as she picked up her boots to leave. Chloe held back another sob. "Fine, go on…Get out! Get the-"

"-I'm going! God-"

"Fuck! Out!"

* * *

 

And then Beca was. Gone. Gone from her bed, her room, the Bella house, but still in Chloe's heart as Chloe began to sob as she swore to herself this was the last time she would cry over Beca. Swore to herself this was the last time she would let Beca in. Let Beca effect her. In any way. Fuck Beca.

* * *

 

Beca was half way across the campus before she realised she was headed in the wrong direction. On her way back towards the right way she passed back by the Bella house and stopped. She looked up to where a small light was still on in Chloe's room. She slumped, back against the wall below Chloe's window.

After minutes and minutes passed, rolling her eyes at being back there. Outside. Back there crying under Chloe's window. Same shit. Different night. She held her phone in her hand and stared, and stared not knowing what to text Chloe, so she rang her.

Desperate. Chloe knew she was, for Beca, she picked up on the second ring. But couldn't say anything. Hand clasped over her mouth. Holding in the sound of sobs.

So Beca spoke into the silence.

"All my life I've been afraid... I've-umm all through school, growing up I mean it was-ummm-was just fuck, you see I don't exactly come from amazing understanding parents, and never was that more clear or fucking apparent to me than the day my dad threw my brother out... and not like small argument threw him out then talk it over and alls okay but he was disowned, complete. Utterly. I didn't see him for... and that added to the pile of lets fuck up Beca, because he was gone. Like he was... dead... and-and they, fuck I hate it. I fucking hate them, Chlo but they were all I had, and I hate it. Before I met you, they were all I had, all I still have really, without them I dunno, all my life people called me a dyke and I hated it, I fucking hated it because I knew they were sort of... telling the truth no maybe fuck-I-I dunno fuck, they had me all figured the fuck out when I didn't have me figured out... you know, maybe, fuck I dunno, I hated them, hated myself, so I put up these fucking walls, hid and-and I didn't-I thought I could come here, put in the time my dad wants, expects from me, fuck I-I didn't even want to fucking come here but I had to I just I had to, for him and all I wanna do is just go for it, my dream and that's not here... at least fuck it wasn't, you can't be... that. I can't give up everything, all I am all I want to be for you, so I'm here and I just wanna leave. I need to fuck-I am... here... and I could at least I dunno start over and reset, start all over where nobody knew me, and be normal, but you, you! Then I fucking-I saw you, you're so fucking... fuck! Fuck you! Fuck you Chlo, I saw you're... perfect smile and I knew I couldn't escape who I am, and I tried I-I did I tried to fight everything you made me feel, no... sorry, that's-that's not, it's not your fault, but I can't help it, I blame you, if I can't get out of this place, if my dad finds out what I am, who I love and throws me out of here, disowns me and I'm left, I'm left with fucking nothing, I'm gonna blame you, and I fuck! I'm... I can't-I can't do that because Chlo, I-I... fuck... you, I fuck... I'm in... I'm falling, and-and I've fuck I've never gave a shit I've never felt like this about fuck! anyone before I-I... I'm ummm I'm falling for you-with you and-and... I love I hate that I love you Chlo... I-Fuck..."

Beca wanted Chloe to say something, anything to stop this out pouring.

"...Are you happy when you're with me?"

"God…" Beca sighed, her head hit the wall softly behind her, her eyes closed. Tears streaming down. Face burning from trying, and failing to hold in the tears. "Yes."

"Then why can't you show me?" Silence, almost, broken by Beca's sobs. "Why can't that," Broken by Chloe's sobs. "Why can't I be enough? If I make you happy then... I-I want to work through this with you, come back, come back Bec... please... come back and show me."

"I-I'm..." Beca rolled her eyes, wiped tears away that were replaced quickly with fresh ones and let out a cruel laugh. "I'm already here." Another huff of incredulous laughter, bitter. "Look out your window, I'm here."

"And if I came down, would you come up?"

"I-I..." Beca heard nothing. Just silence. Silence as Chloe waited for her to decide on her answer. Beca didn't. Beca heard Chloe sob, a staggered breath. "I dunno..."

"Bec? Would," Chloe swallowed. Exhaled. Inhaled. Deep. "...Bec would you come..." Exhaled. Fought saying 'please', Chloe would be damned if she would beg. "...will you..."

"...I-I can't..."

Beca hated her own words as soon as she said them and heard Chloe crying. All she brought Chloe was misery.

"Fuck-fuck you Beca, just... fuck you!" Then the dial tone.

* * *

 

"She's there most nights-"

"I don't give a shit." Aubrey shrugged, back to Stacie as she folded another top. Placed it in one of their cases.

"Aub she's a Bella-"

"-Is she?" Aubrey turned, hand on hip. "Because...I haven't seen her at rehearsals, and if I do I'll kick her ass, and when we come back next semester guess what? We've got regionals." Aubrey turned back, bent over, picked up another top, a fold, placed it in the case. "That's what I care about."

"And Chloe." Stacie muttered.

"Of course." Aubrey said lightly.

"She's," Stacie placed her hands on her hips, breathed out slow, looked at Aubrey with a levelled gaze. "Beca is still one of us, you should want Chloe to be happy-"

"-I do!" Aubrey threw up her hands and turned round to face Stacie. "Of course I want Chloe to be happy, Stace. Not with her-"

"-And not with you!" Stacie turned away, faced the window of Aubrey's room. Their room. Theirs. Hand over her eyes. She turned back and found Aubrey's eyes tearing a hole through her. Stacie waited to see if Aubrey had a comeback to her outburst. Aubrey didn't. "...We're Aub..." Stacie spoke low. Gentle. Not wanting a fight. "We're a sisterhood, you should care about all of them not just... her. The Aubrey I know would."

"Then you don't know me." Aubrey bit back at her. Quiet. Turned away, her back to Stacie.

Stacie chooses to let that go. She lets it go because Aubrey isn't calling her on her outburst. But both hang in the air, unspoken. Unresolved.

"She's there nearly every night at that bar singing these... beautiful... heart breaking songs and-and everyone must be deaf to not figure out its all about..." It hurt her to say it. Her name. She bit it as she spoke her name. "Chloe."

"I don't." Aubrey spoke through clenched teeth. "Care."

"I pick her up every night and take her back to her dorm, steaming drunk, did you know that? Do you care about that?"

"No. What I care about... is Chloe... cracking up in there, she like, never goes to class, she's just there, in a huddled blanketed mess all day and then she's out all night fuck knows where-"

"-It's always about her!-"

"-Of course she's my-" Aubrey cut herself off, turned around, big watery eyes looked up into Stacie's. Saw a look in Stacie's she'd never seen before. Anger? Confusion? Hurt? Betrayal?

"What?"

"Can't we just... please can we," Aubrey turned back around. She couldn't take that look from Stacie. Where was the doting soft look of adoration spiced with lust that Stacie always levelled her with? "just leave for my parents?" Aubrey spoke quietly down into the full case, as she zipped it up.

"No... Aub, she's your what?"

"We can just... just forget about their drama for..." She moved, bent, and zipped up the other one.

"She's your." Stacie bit the words out with venom. Teeth clenched. "What?"

"Please..." Aubrey whispered.

"What?!"

"Please Stace don't..."

"She's your what?!" Aubrey stayed silent. Teeth together. Jaw clenched. Shaking. The silence pissed Stacie off more than what she thought Aubrey's answer could possibly be. She was probably going to be wrong. "She's your. Fucking! What?!'

"My world!"


	24. Chapter 24

Chloe flew back home to spend the Christmas break with Maura. Usually she would spend one week with Maura and the rest with the Posens. Christmas with Aubrey and her family up in the Catskills was something Chloe looked forward to every year, they would head into the city, catch a show on Broadway, ice skate at Rockefeller, do the same things they did every year. But she never got bored of it. Of them. Of Aubrey. But that, those plans, suddenly wasn't a thing. Not this year. Chloe wasn't clear why, she probably missed why, she knew she wasn't too aware of what was going on in the world outside of her own misery, and that was just fine. Misery was where she lived. It had set up shop in her and called her home.

She lay in her teenage bed thinking of all the romantic gestures she could do to show Beca how happy she could make her, and Beca had said she was happy when she was with her. She wanted to show Beca how she, them, together could be enough. More than enough. No not enough. That wasn't right. That Chloe could be all Beca ever wanted. That the happiness they possessed together could be all Beca would ever want or need. Chloe wanted to show her how much she wanted her. And she did. Want her. No not want. She didn't. She did? She hated that she did. If she did. She did? Or was it a need? Need or want? Neither. She couldn't. Not any more. Couldn't let herself want Beca. Couldn't. Could not. Told herself over and over. No matter how much she needed Beca. Beca had to show her. Come to her. Fuck. Even if Beca did she wasn't sure she would even take her. Maybe. No. No she wouldn't let Beca anywhere near her again. But she would still love Beca to try. Just so she could shoot her down. Honest.

It had taken everything in her, every ounce of will to not go over to Beca's dorm, to not go over to the station, to not go find some little hipster bar that Beca would take a slot at the open mic night, she knew, Chloe knew she would, could find ways of seeing Beca. Had to stop herself, mostly, needed some semblance of dignity. Maybe she had driven past the station once, or a few times, and maybe on those drives she listened to Beca on the radio, and maybe she once, she swears just once, or okay more than that parked around the corner from the station and tuned into the college radio in her car and sat with the just the glow of Beca's voice emitting from her car stereo. But she never went in. She never stayed around long enough that Beca would know she had been there. She couldn't. She didn't want Beca to know she'd been there no matter how much she wanted to confront Beca, but then it was the Christmas break and Chloe figured time away from Barden, time away from being any where near Beca, would do her some good. Whether she liked it or not, she wasn't going to be seeing Beca for a few weeks so she may as well tell herself it's her own idea. Yeah fuck Beca. Well no. But like Beca could fuck off. So why was the only thing she could think about was Beca. And how good it would feel to tell Beca to do one. Maybe. No, yeah totally she could tell Beca to fuck off out her life. Her emotions swung back and forth between feeling intense love and intense hatred for Beca. All thoughts about Beca. Chloe rubbed at her head, pressed down hard on her forehead as if she could will the thoughts of Beca out her head. But every thought was still of Beca.

Still Beca fucking Mitchell.

Beca.

And wanting to be with her. To win her over. Not win her back. They were never together. But they could be.

Right?

No. No fuck no. Darn it no.

Chloe felt the pressure building and building behind her eyes.

No, Beale you don't want that. Except you totally do. No. Her and Beca would be a terrible couple. Shit now she's thinking about them as a couple, and doing couple type shit together, Chloe would pick her up from class, take her to work, hang out with her on her breaks, darn just take her assignments with her to the station and work on her stuff there while Beca would work late nights in the booth, Chloe would head out and grab them food, then bring Beca back to the Bella house, where she would totally be living, together. Fudge she couldn't think that far ahead except she was, she was thinking beyond college, them living together, just the two of them, out in L.A, cause that's where Beca wanted to go, where her dreams were and Chloe would follow Beca anywhere, they would buy Ikea furniture that they would argue over how to assemble, Beca would get all frustrated, dumping out all the pieces in a mess, and she would try to organize each piece, she would color co-ordinate to make life easier but Beca would rather do things the hard way, than admit she was wrong, but they'd laugh about it, laugh at how stubborn they both were whilst knowing, both knowing it was mainly Beca who was the most stubborn, always wanting everything her own way, but she would cook, attempt to anyways, Chloe a romantic dinner, fail, almost burn their apartment down and decide on take away, or grab their jackets and head out for food instead. Chloe saw a montage of them in old white t-shirts painting their living room, singing along to mixes made by Beca, getting more paint on one another than on the walls, and play fighting, running around until the paint rollers and brushes are making a mess on the floor and her and Beca are making a mess of each other, hands, lips, tongues, back against the wall, wet paint covering her back as Beca wouldn't give a shit as long as she was making Chloe feel loved and wanted, and no, no Chloe will not travel down that road. That was just a dream. A darn stream of scenarios that will never happen. That darn it, she doesn't even want to happen, because because they, her, and Beca, they would totally be terrible together. Just because okay they would be and they totally wouldn't be so adorable and cute together and perfect because if she let herself believe that she would never start to get over Beca so no they wouldn't make a cute couple in any way shape or form. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Chloe didn't even have a clue where Beca lived. Not like if she did she would drive there, or fly there and follow through with any of her stupid scenarios. Nope.

Turn up like Lloyd Dobler and play 'All I Want for Christmas is You' from outside Beca's window.

And Beca would hear, and open her window, lean out at her with the brightest smile and there'd be snow. She could almost feel the crunch of the white under her imaginary boots. Feel the warm wool of her hat covering her ears. She'd have cute green mittens on, that Beca would squish her hands down into, and they would stand together, hands together, fingers feeling. Close. Beca would take her hands out, step as close as she could to Chloe, and draw Chloe's hands around her, until Chloe's mittened hands are stuffed into the back pockets of Beca's jeans. She would feel Beca's hands warm against her cheeks, give a little squeeze and kiss her. Deep. Beca would tell her all she wanted was her. Too. That the only thing to make Beca happy was when Beca was trying to make Chloe happy. That Chloe was her happiness. She would be introduced to Beca's family over Christmas dinner and that's where she came out of her fantasy, because no even in her fantasy she knew Beca's family would hate her. How could anyone hate her? They would hate her and that would make Beca hate her. She tried to picture a happy normal family for Beca, what would that Beca be like? Would that Beca love her? This Beca loved her. Said she did. Chloe didn't believe it. Would that Beca mean it? Chloe would believe that Beca. Would she be able to turn up, surprise Beca? No she wouldn't have to, Beca with a happy normal family would have invited her over to stay for Christmas. Beca's imaginary nice normal family would already know all about her, would already know Chloe. Beca's mother would affectionately call her "love" or "dear" and Beca's brother would be there too. And her sister would be there. Alive. Just cause. Okay. It was her fantasy. So yeah her mom and sister would be alive too. And they would all be together. It would all be so easy. Happiness.

No. She wouldn't be doing that. None of that would happen. Because that was a stupid fantasy. Stupid. And not cute, that wouldn't be cute, they wouldn't be adorable together.

Or she could hold up a board reading "to me you are perfect" as she stood at Beca's front door.

But Beca wasn't.

She was here. Alone, because of Beca's imperfections. So she did the passive aggressive next best thing, found the clip on youtube from that sappy movie she used to love and watch with Aubrey at Christmas, except this year she didn't even have Aubrey, and posted it to her facebook wall. Because that was never going to literally happen, but Beca may happen across the post, and know it's about her. They were still at least facebook friends, Beca hadn't blocked her or deleted her. Not yet at least. And she wouldn't. Darn it, she wouldn't. Because Chloe knew they could work through this.

Could.

There was always potential.

No. No. No.

She stared up at her ceiling.

Holding in tears. No she was already crying, shaking, no more tears left, just a red face, and a pounding headache.

No. She had to get out the house. Do something. Anything because fuck Beca. That's why.

But they could, there was a small slither of a chance it could all work out, if she could just pretend like a lot of shit didn't happen they could. No. Darn it no. But she missed the feeling of Beca. The smell and taste of her. She can feel Beca at her finger tips, so close but so totally a million miles away.

Whether they would, make it all work out, was sorta kinda in Beca's court. At least the first move towards it was. And Chloe hated that. Hated that Beca had that power. Over her.

That she was even entertaining the idea that she wants to work all their shit out. She hates that. Hates herself for that. She shouldn't want anything to do with Beca, but she does. And she turns in her bed, hugging blankets closer, another five minutes and then she'll get out of bed, have a shower and at least venture down the stairs to the kitchen. Something. It was something.

Beca hadn't called, texted, liked a darn photo on her Instagram, opened any of her snapchats, nothing. Just nothing. Not since Beca had poured her heart out to her had she heard from her. Beca had poured her heart out to her and Chloe had offered to gather it, put it all back together for her.

But Beca wouldn't let her.

She wouldn't let herself.

Right?

If it came to it. Chloe wouldn't. Chloe would be strong. She turned again, kicking at the blankets, now so hot, rolling onto her stomach, hand out of the covers, reaching, opening her bedside drawn, fumbling and finding.

So she lay, popped another pill that she found in the back of her draw from an old prescription, head back against the wall, reached out for her lighter and lit one up. Inhaled. The smoke burned her throat as she held it in, burned and burned but at least she was feeling pain for a reason other than Beca.

Why wasn't she good enough?

* * *

 

"Can we come back into the city before we head back to college?"

Stacie slowed her step, her linked arm with Aubrey tightened, she scrunched her hands in her mittens as they followed the rest of Aubrey's family across 51st street.

"Sure." Aubrey smiled at her, leant in, pressed a kiss to Stacies cheek. "I'm sure the rest of my family will want to-"

"-no just us…" Stacie hushed her voice. Leant in closer. Liking feeling the body heat radiating from Aubrey and warming her in the crisp air of New York. Stacie didn't want the rest of the Posens to hear her reasoning. Stacie widened her eyes, hoping somehow psychically Aubrey would just know. Aubrey didn't. "I've." Stacies voice got even quieter. "Wanted." Stacie leant in closer. "To fuck." Whispered her words into Aubrey and smirked as she heard a small moan. "You." Looked down and saw and was warmed all over by the way Aubrey bit her lip. "All day."

"You can." Aubrey said very matter of factly. With a small smile. Stacie shook her head. Aubrey nodded back. Smile widening. "Romantic carriage ride around Central Park after Johnny Utah's and then we'll be heading back for the big Christmas Eve family dinner. So yeah. You can. Preferably after dinner though cause I'd like to get dressed up for it. It's a big tradition that I absolutely love… and no line about eating me for dinner?"

"No. We're under the same roof as your family. We can't."

"Excuse me?"

"We're not..." Stacies big eyes and raised eye brows replaced the word "...under their roof."

"When did you become so…"

"Respectful?" Aubrey nodded, a small confused smile. "Always."

"You don't have any problem back at Barden if-"

"-when-"

"When. Everyone in the Bella house hears us."

"That's.." Stacie shrugged. "It's just different. That's our home."

"What are you gals whispering about back there?" Aubrey's dad called over his shoulder.

"Stace here wont have sex with me under your roof."

Aubrey's father let out a big guffaw. Her mother playfully hit him on the arm.

"What?" He laughed again. Stacie stopped in her tracks. "That's funny."

"No dad it's not." Aubrey whined and pulled Stacie along to catch up with the family. Stacie turned beet red.

"Oh sweetie it is, look at her face." He turned fully and addressed Stacie "Honey?" Stacie nodded. Wanting to be anywhere else. "We're a very open family. Please don't be embarrassed around us."

"Yeah." Thom said. "We could always hear you and Chlobear."

"Oh. My. Thom!" His wife, Marjorie, hit him. Square in the chest. He laughed.

"God Thom-" Aubrey wanted to hit him too. "You dick!"

"What? I'm kidding, B." He held his hands up. Surrender. Then a smirk. "Always made Tristan jealous though." Aubrey's other, younger brother, pushed Thom. "Told you it's never gonna happen between you and Chlobear." Tristan hit him again.

"Thomas please... leave him alone." Marjorie said.

"He was," Thom laughed lightly, mockingly. "he was talking all about her, couldn't wait to see her and she didn't even come this year. Awwww hard to bare." Thom pushed his younger brother back playfully as they arrived outside of Johnny Utah's.

"I guess," Aubrey's dad smiled at Stacie. Stacie just wanted to hear a lot less about Chloe, and wanted to be alone with Aubrey, there was too much she didn't know, didn't want to, needed to. Chloe would have what? "Welcome to the family Stacie."

* * *

 

Chloe's cute.

Right?

Like she's vaguely aware that she could be considered 'cute' and she's not being big headed in any way but she's not too shabby in the looks department.

Chloe stared into her mirror, flipping her hair one side to the other, she could do this.

It was just popping out to get coffee, just coffee. It's not even lunch time, it's barely past breakfast really and so she's gonna leave the house.

Darn it.

Try and get that Christmas feeling.

A little.

Just be amongst people.

Try to not feel alone.

Then she's in her car, pulling out the drive, Christmas song playing on the radio. And she's out. A small smile. She's alone but feels less alone sitting in traffic heading into the city.

Chloe got talking to a cute woman in line at the book store, a book store that's also a cafe. Cause ain't they all now.

But it hurts, she doesn't even know this woman's name and it hurts, because she feels like she shouldn't even be attempting to flirt with someone who isn't Beca. But the woman's eyes light up at her little quips, but not as bright as Beca's would. And she's got dark hair, but seemingly no piercings like Beca, but her hairs a similar length. And when the woman lightly touches her arm, a small laugh, she sees a tattoo on her wrist, where Beca had one. Except it isn't Beca's tattoo. She loves Beca's tattoo's, they're so inherently her. So Beca. She remembers how much Aubrey hated Beca's tattoo's, that she had tried to use them against Beca becoming a Bella in the first place. But Chloe had thrown back that she, Chloe, had a tattoo, and Aubrey had always liked it. A lot. Aubrey had said that was different because that was her, and it was always different when it was her. Then they're at the register together, and she's paid, they should be going their separate ways. But Chloe doesn't want to. Chloe wants to take this woman home and just bang, and that's fucked up cause she wouldn't do that. Right? Certainly not with someone that reminds her so much of Beca. And they're standing there, she's waiting as the woman pays for her own coffee, and then the barista is talking to them. To her. What? And she's saying something flirty, she's cute, and blonde and nothing like Beca, and the other woman is gone because they're not together, and the barista is smiling, at her, happy that they weren't a couple and she's writing her number down, telling her when she gets off work and Chloe didn't need to go to a bar to pick up a woman.

* * *

 

Chloe totally didn't wake up with tears in her eyes on Christmas morning, no, because she hadn't been to sleep.

A knock.

Small.

Polite.

"Chlobear," Another small knock. "You awake?"

"Yeah umm," She wiped at her eyes, pulled the covers up around her, felt the ghost of Aubrey's form beside her, they would always wake together on Christmas morning and this year she didn't even have that, "Yeah come, you can come in Maura."

"Merry Christmas," Maura sat on the side of her bed. Her hand stroked over Chloe's side. Comforting. "How you holding up?" Chloe tried to smile in response. "I know Chlobear I know," Maura clocked the ashtray, she never liked Chloe smoking, but always chose to let it go. "but you won't feel like this forever, you know that right? Let's have one great day, its Christmas, yeah?" Chloe nodded in response. "I'm sorry I haven't been around for you over the Holidays but murder or not, I'm taking today off, Jane's took it off, and we're gonna go to the cinema after lunch, and I'd really like you to join us." Maura gave her a little squeeze. "Yeah?"

"Sure."

* * *

 

"We're going to have a really splendid day out in the city."

"Sure..."

"You damn should be," Aubrey ignored Stacie's less than enthusiastic attitude. She had all the pep they needed, channelling how she thought Chloe would handle the situation, she knows it's wrong but a happy Chloe always cheered her up. She would turn Stacie's frown upside down. "We're gonna go see the Museum of Natural History, yeah that'll be fun, carriage ride through central park and I've got us a table booked and-"

"-Sure, awes." Stacie rubbed her forehead, and pulled her shades down over her face. It was cold outside, bitter and bright. Early. Aubrey had gotten them out of bed, made breakfast at seven and they had left for the city at eight. But Stacie hadn't really slept. Like at all. And not in a they had fucked all night way, because she had stuck to her word, remained respectful no matter if Aubrey's family cared or not, but in a she wanted to talk all night with Aubrey about everything they had left unsaid. Chloe. But when they had headed up to bed, showered, and crawled into bed together, Aubrey had started kissing her. Light. Across her neck. And Stacie had let her, that was innocent enough. Stacie let Aubrey mock the modest pyjamas she had bought especially for Christmas. Like what? Was Stacie going to sleep practically naked like they did back at Barden whilst in the same house as the rest of her family? Hell no. Especially not with Thom's children running about in and out of any and all rooms. Don't get her wrong. She liked Aubrey's niece's and nephew. She just was well an only child. So big family gatherings were new to her. Then Aubrey was grinding against her, using her to try and get herself off, and she asked her stop but Aubrey squeezed Stacie's breast through her top, she told her no, Aubrey moved her hand down, rubbed and cupped Stacie through her pyjama bottoms, she told her no, moved, shifted away and Aubrey complained that it was Christmas Eve and she didn't want to argue because as she had glanced at the clock it was gone midnight and technically actually Christmas Day, so she had moved her hand off her, and onto herself, pressed onto, into herself, Stacie asked her to stop and with a huff she did. Turned over. Curled up. And went to sleep. Stacie had stared up into Christmas morning through the skylight, at the stars, at how Chloe had probably lain here.

In her place.

Or was she in Chloe's place, thinking her name sort of hurt, a lot. And it's not jealousy, she swears it's not.

Okay maybe it is, new emotion and all.

Year after year.

Chloe and Aubrey.

Chloe.

With Aubrey. Her Aubrey.

And she hadn't slept. At all.

"I'm sorry, I know my family can be rather..."

"No, no there's just, I wasn't expecting so many. I'm not used to..."

"Christmas with your family next year." Aubrey smiled brightly across at Stacie. Stacie smiled back. Genuine. There was no hint of a question in Aubrey's tone. Maybe they could make it to next Christmas together. She was happy to be up there alone with Aubrey. Happy to be out the mad packed Posen family holiday home and be driving down back into the city, even if it was almost a three hour drive. It was three hours of just them. They needed it, Stacie needed time with just Aubrey. Aubrey smirked as she took her phone in her hand and with a couple of thumb swipes 'Rocket Queen' played through the car stereo.

"If you continue to play that, I'm gonna be asking you to pull over."

"Maybe," Aubrey bit her lip as she focused her eyes ahead on the road. "...that was the idea." The song continued and as soon as Aubrey joined in with the song "...here I am and you're a rocket-"

"-Now. Pull over." Stacie couldn't take it. "Now." Aubrey did as instructed, pulling over and up into a small trail, amongst trees. Tingling with anticipation. "Get in the back. Now."

* * *

 

Stacie couldn't wait.

She pushed Aubrey up against the side of the car just as Aubrey's hand touched the back door handle. Stacie pushed her tongue deep in Aubreys mouth. Claiming. Owning.

Aubrey let the handle go and gripped onto Stacie's waist just to remain standing as the feeling of Stacie's tongue twirling incessantly in her mouth made her lose the breath in her body, and with both hands. Instead. Fisted into the material. She gasped, smiling at the feeling of being wanted. Loved the way Stacie looked up at her as she let go of her and Stacie dropped to her knees.

Dark orbs roamed her body.

Wanted.

Aubrey sucked in much needed air. Her mouth. Her lips. Wet.

Stacie pushed Aubrey's dress straight up, over her thighs. Aubrey shivered, it was December for crying out loud, she was shaking. From the cold. Stacie pushed it up further, pulled her panties down to her knees and touched, roamed up her legs, her thighs with cold fingers then kissed her. There. Where Aubrey needed it so badly. Sucked on her lips, flicked her tongue over her clit with a warm mouth. This was no time for a lot of teasing, and Stacie smirked into Aubrey, at making Aubrey wet so quickly as she tasted her.

Over and over.

Fast. Noisily. Sloppily.

The sound of Stacie going down on her and moaning deep in her own throat made Aubrey cum.

Quick.

Quivering.

Gasps that she saw break into the air, her hot breath in the cold.

Hands flat against the cold metal of the car, hips bucking into Stacie's face. Stacie holding her there as she rode out her orgasm, soaking Stacie's chin.

"Fuck..." Aubrey panted, slack against the car, as Stacie stood, a swagger, head cocked to the side as she took in the mess she had unravelled out of Aubrey. "Stace... can you... we need to be... fuck... we need to be getting back... on the... road... wow... can you..."

"Drive?" Stacie said with a proud grin.

"Please?"

"Yeah."

* * *

 

"But I wanted to play Tour Guide, see."

Aubrey motioned to the guide book she had picked up on the way in.

"Nope," Stacie playfully took it out her hand and held it tight against her back, Aubrey reached for it, Stacie turned out of her way, over and over as they laughed. "Nope," then Stacie held it up above Aubrey's head and Aubrey looked up, then back down at Stacie's grin, bright, she had missed that. Wanted to kiss that grin, but they weren't exactly the only people in the Museum lobby. "I'm gonna be the Tour Guide."

"You've never even been here before." Stacie shrugged at Aubrey. "You'll actually get us lost." Aubrey's hip jutted out, hand on it as she mock huffed at Stacie.

* * *

 

"Where even?"

They found themselves an hour later in some remote wing where some skeletons of something Stacie totally knew what they were but knew Aubrey after being here so many times didn't, then it got quiet and they realised they had stumbled into a 'Closed for Refurbishment' area.

"It's fine Aub."

"Where are we now?" Aubrey huffed, while peering up at another skeleton before focusing back down at Stacie's ass. Yeah she had been mock reluctant to let Stacie lead them around, but she wasn't complaining since she got to walk around and watch the beautiful dress she had picked out for Stacie to wear that morning hugging Stacie's ass, hers. Stacie was all hers.

"Alone." Stacie turned fast and nearly knocked Aubrey over. Stacie giggled as Aubrey took a few small steps back. "I'm onto you, Posen."

Stacie kept walking, Aubrey kept stumbling. Back. Then her back hit a wall, it was dark. The only light came from spotlights in the floor, illuminating the skeletons.

"I've wanted to kiss you all day..."

"You could have if you hadn't," Stacie lent in, nuzzled her head under Aubrey's neck, breathed her in. "Been so determined to get back on the road," A kiss to her throat, small, then she pulled away, her eyes adjusting to the relative darkness, as she rolled her hips into Aubrey's, "You could've done anything you wanted..." Leant in again, a kiss, small, to Aubrey's jawline, "...to me."

"Let me kiss you." Aubrey begged. She heard it in her tone and didn't care. She was liking this side of Stacie. A lot. Seeing this again. The one that wanted her.

"Nope." Aubrey looked at her confused and then went to kiss her any ways but Stacie moved her head.

"Please."

"Nope." Stacie looked into her eyes, only saw grey in the shadows, her eyes staring back, unblinking as she lent in, kissed Aubrey's neck. Hard, nibbling on smooth skin. Aubrey's hand came up from where they'd been flat against the wall and held Stacie's head in place. Stacie took her other hand, twisted Aubrey's arm up, pushed it up above her head, against the wall. Stacie moved back, a little, enough space to turn Aubrey. She pushed Aubrey close until her body was flat against the wall, and Stacie's flat up against Aubrey's. Her grip tightened on Aubrey's hand above her head. Stacie moved Aubrey's hair to the side and kissed down the back of her neck. Aubrey turned her face to the side, gasping for breath, cheek cold against the wall. Stacie's free hand snaked down Aubrey's curves and Aubrey pushed herself off the wall enough to let Stacie's hand slide round her front. She slid her hand down until she found the hem of Aubrey's dress, then pushed it up as her hand trailed up the inside of Aubrey's thigh. She stroked Aubrey through her panties. Stacie would show Aubrey just exactly who she belonged to.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Please." Aubrey panted as Stacie stroked her again, a strangled swallowed moan. Yeah Stacie needed Aubrey begging. For her.

"Please." Stacie kissed the back of her neck again, trailed her tongue and lips round to Aubrey's ear. "What?"

"Fuck-" Stacie pressed Aubrey hard through her panties. Aubrey's breath disappeared. "Fuck me."

Stacie slipped her hand inside. Aubrey gasped and tried to turn her head to kiss Stacie. Stacie nuzzled into her neck, stopping Aubrey's head moving. Stacie breathed into Aubrey. Her mouth glued to her skin as she spoke. No this wasn't showing Aubrey that she belonged to Stacie. This was Stacie begging Aubrey for Stacie to be hers. Only. Trying, succeeding, in showing Aubrey how fucking good they were, are, together.

"You're already wet."

* * *

 

Chloe was the first to arrive back at Barden, she kicked around the house.

Alone.

Just a few days before Cynthia flew back in, a day later Lily flew back then Jessica and Ashley drove back with a day to spare before New Years Eve. In time for the New Years party Aubrey had put up on their facebook page. But Aubrey wasn't even back.

Aubrey had fallen out her life for a good few weeks.

Christmas.

Chloe's first Christmas since far too long, too many years, without Aubrey.

Aubrey knew how hard it was for Chloe at Christmas.

Without her mother. Her sister.

Sure there was Maura but that's just not the same, Aubrey was her family. The Posens were her family.

And she didn't just miss Aubrey, but all of them.

It was a year on since she had seen her nieces and nephew, and they were hers. May as well be. It's not like Chloe hadn't stayed in touch all year for significant moment in their lives over facebook, or sent presents to them on their birthdays but she hadn't managed to see them since the previous Christmas.

So yeah, Chloe had been eager to get back to Barden.

Start fresh.

Positive.

New year. New start.

Chloe took it upon herself, co-captain and all, to organize the party. The Big Barden Bella New Years Bash! It took her mind off Beca, well it made her think about not thinking about Beca and that was a step in the right direction, right?

And finally Aubrey returned, half way through New Years Eve.

Finally.

Chloe had missed Aubrey even more than she had realised. She had thought about Beca all Christmas but it was Aubrey that she made her catch her breath when she saw her car pull up outside the house.

Growing up when they couldn't see each other she had missed her then. Different cites. Different schools. Almost separate lives but always entwined. Always them. Two.

Together.

Chloe ran out the house, only socks on her feet, she didn't even hesitate, didn't even think to stop and maybe put something more on her feet, and ran at her.

Aubrey.

"Bree!" Chloe squealed.

Chloe practically leapt on her, smiling for the first time in a few weeks, and Aubrey hugged her back, technically but she was like ice. A shard. Sharp. Stiff.

Stacie walked up the garden behind Aubrey, bags in hands, and Chloe felt something run through her, something from Stacie's eyes fired into hers. New. Dangerous.

Chloe let Aubrey go, only realising once she did let her go, that Aubrey had taken her arms from around her shoulders already, and it was only her. Chloe clinging onto Aubrey.

"Aub lets get inside, it's freezing out here."

Aubrey followed, walked past, saw past. Her. Chloe. Followed Stacie up the steps and into the house.

"Sure Stace."

Chloe stood on the path.

Alone.

* * *

 

Stacies never been a jealous person. Look at her, she doesn't need to be. But that was before Aubrey. Before she fell for Aubrey. And even then she wasn't jealous. Anyone could look at Aubrey, go ahead, her Aubrey is gorgeous. But very much hers.

So how come she just punched Uni in the jaw?

Fat Amy and Bumper move him outside. Tell him to leave. Maybe Bumper left with him. Stacie's not sure. It's all a blur.

The adrenaline surging through her.

Her hands clench into fists, still, the anger not subsiding.

She feels her knees shaking.

A fight or flight response wrecking havoc in her body. Still. Even though she clearly chose which one to go with.

Fight.

Her hand looks sore. But she doesn't feel it.

She knows she will. Later. When the adrenaline wears off. But not yet. She's not ready too feel physical as well as emotional pain. Not yet. Just not yet.

Stacie's not listening. Not taking notice. The noise of the party a distant hum that's just not reaching her brain.

All she sees is Aubrey's face.

The shock. The bewilderment. The hurt and confusion.

And then she's pulled away, up the stairs. Out of the crowd.

"What the actual shit Stace?!"

It's just the two of them now. In their bedroom, then pulled through and into their bathroom.

Stacie shook.

"He was coming onto you!"

Aubrey sat Stacie down on the toilet lid. Held her hand, red, sucked in air in sympathy at her fast swelling knuckles.

"So?"

"I-fuck Aub I've never..."

"Just because he was making a pass at me doesn't mean shit. I'm not gonna for it," Aubrey wet a cloth, squeezed out the majority of the water, folded it and placed it over Stacie's knuckles. Stacie winced. "I'm so over him. I love you."

"I just got so angry, I saw him with you and-what? Say that again."

"What again?"

"That last bit. Say that last bit again."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you." Aubrey repeated with a small smile. Aubrey crouched, in front of Stacie, took Stacie's head in her hands, rested their foreheads together.

"Say it again." Stacie whispered.

"I love you." Aubrey lent in. A light kiss, that Stacie deepened. Stacie needed to taste Aubrey. Needed the reassurance that Aubrey was hers. Of fucking course she was. This had nothing to do with Uni, Stacie's not denying he deserved it but she's no dummy, she was already starting to analyse her actions as she slipped her tongue over and in and gasped as Aubrey pulled away after a few seconds. "Now tell me, what's really going on?"

"I dunno," Stacie closed her eyes, she wasn't ready to face the actual problem. So what had made her punch Uni, instead of where her anger had really been aimed at. "he'd been saying shit to me all night and-"

"-So?"

"You don't know what-what he, you just... don't Aub..."

"Then tell me, tell me what he could say to make you give a shit if he made a pass at me or not."

"He came-" Stacie swallowed her words. Tried again, the anger rising again. Anger pointed back at where it had been since she, since they had arrived back that afternoon. "...he made..."

"What Stace?"

"He made pass after pass at me, and kept telling me all the things you used to do with him..." But that's not where Stacie's mind went. She didn't see Aubrey and Uni, even though he had been an utter dick and described in ridiculous detail what him and Aubrey had gotten up to. No. Stacie saw Aubrey and Chloe. "and all the things we could do together..." Stacie saw herself, she saw her and Aubrey then in her minds eye. And Chloe. "He asked me over and over for us to have a threesome and... I asked him to leave over and over and walked away over and over but he wouldn't... let up, he just... kept at me... all night and then he told me... that fine... if I wasn't down for a threesome..." And then the image of just Aubrey and Chloe together. Just. Them. Behind her back. Fucking. Betrayal. Aubrey wouldn't do that, right? But irrational as she knew she was being, it didn't stop the thoughts twisting like vines through her mind and scraping away at her good sense. "...he said-he... he'd go fuck you by himself." Stacie looked up into Aubrey's eyes then. "... Please... say something. Anything."

"What..." Aubrey's hand on Stacie's face stroked her cheek. "What have I ever done to indicate to you that I'm still hung up on him?"

"I know but..." Stacie looked down.

"But what? When have I ever given you doubt that it's you I want to be with?"

"You know you have." Stacie's eyes rose to meet her then. The hurt in them shook Aubrey to her core. She'd never seen that look before, had she? Then she knew she had, she had locked that shit away and how that look made her feel. She had locked it away and went on each day pretending that her and Stacie were fine and dandy.

The way Stacie looked away from her broke the beating inside Aubrey's chest. Aubrey didn't want to say her heart. Saying that meant that this was all too real.

"Don't. I don't want to talk about..."

"You never do!"

"You promised we would never, that we were never...that we were going to ignore that-that it ever happened-"

"But it did!"

"Don't bring Chloe into this!"

"She already is!"

"No, she's," Aubrey sighed. "I haven't even spoken to her since we got back this afternoon because of you, I didn't spend Christmas with her like I do every. Single. Year, for you-"

"...that proves I'm right."

"What?" Aubrey barely got out. She feels. Pain. Her chest tight. Building tears that travel up and choke her throat and keep going up and up until they are wanting to be released. "How?"

"You're avoiding her." Stacie voice now level. Emotion draining.

"For you!"

"No, don't, don't bring that shit on me, you've avoided her... because of you."

"Stop this! Stace I love you, I love. You." Stacie looked down. Silence. "She's my best friend. Stace she's... She's-she's Chloe. For fuck sake! "

"Your world?" Stacie bit back, firing. Caustic.

"Don't..." Aubrey turned her back on Stacie then. Went to the sink, hands on the counter top.

"Your words, Aub."

"You're my world."

"No. No I'm not. I'm always gonna be second best to her."

"It's different. I love her yes, but not like that, not like you."

"Explain what happened then... What would've happened if Beca hadn't turned up that night."

"I said I don't wanna talk about that."

"Then I've got nothing more to say. I'm done."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm done." Stacie stood, walked past Aubrey.

"Stacie? There's nothing going on between me and Chloe or me and Uni or me and anybody. I love you. You just can't say... you're? Done."

"With this. Now. I can't argue with you. Can we just… can we just call a-a... pause... on this fight, return to the party, fuck lets just go to bed, anything. I'm just done with this. Right now."

Stacie waved her hand as she went to place her other on the door knob. Aubrey stopped her. Her hand grabbing the door knob before her. Pushing Stacie back a step.

Aubrey moved between Stacie and the door.

"Don't."

"Aub please."

"Don't go. I need you to believe me." One hand still on the door, the other she reached and looped her fingers in Stacie's belt loop and yanked her forward. Stacie lent back a little ways, Aubrey liked the pull as she took her hand off the door and snaked it up around Stacies hips and waist, her back, feeling her hair over the back of her hand, until Stacie's neck was in her grasp and she yanked her down. Hard.

Aubrey stopped with an inch between them as Stacie kissed her, breaking the gap. Aubrey didn't kiss back.

"Aub?"

"I knew you believed me."

"Needing you doesn't mean that."

* * *

 

Chloe scrolled down her news feed, and scrolled back up. What a way to ring in the new year! Beca hadn't shown up, did she stupidly really think Beca would? That Beca would turn up just before midnight, and they'd share in the countdown, share in the last kiss of the year, the first kiss of the year. Did she really think that was going to happen? Chloe felt more stupid and pathetic than ever before. Did she see what she thought she saw?

Fuck no?

Curled up alone, party noisy, huddled still in her clothes, boots still on, under the covers, she read it again. Scrolled past. No this just can't be.

No.

She did see what she thought she just saw.

She scrolled back, there was Beca's profile pic, a photo of Beca's headphones, there was Beca's name. And there was the notification.

Beca Mitchell is now in a relationship with Jesse Swanson.


	25. Chapter 25

**Beca (Group Chat Bellarmy) - Gonna be moving my stuff into my new apartment at the weekend before classes start, any of you guys gonna be up?**

Chloe saw the message and felt light headed, giddy, read it again, maybe more than once and disliked how happy she had felt in the first place. The prospect of even a chance to see Beca made her so happy, so happy it made her sick. She should be angry, angry beyond belief but darn if she isn't. Beca isn't going out with him, okay, the Facebook thing just didn't happen. Okay. It was some glitch in the universe because Beca wouldn't be so dumb to go out with Jesse. Jesse's not a bad guy, Chloe's not saying that. But the fact is Beca loves her. Beca had said she was falling for her. That's the same thing. Almost. No not almost, Beca wasn't going to be a someone she almost had. She will have her. Be hers. Close enough. So it can't have been real. And she'll just get it all straightened out when she sees Beca. Because she will see Beca. Eventually. It will all be just fine and dandy. Chloe's sure it's not the medication she's been taking again, that calms her, sends her to a happy medium, the happy high she was feeling right now was all Beca. The happy made her sad. Beca making her happy. Not the lit jay beside her in her ashtray, not the pills buried and hidden in her draw. Only Aubrey would know where to look. Aubrey's not exactly giving a shit about her right now. Right? Aubrey's busy with her own life, said she would never be blind to Chloe's pain again after Lana. Aubrey had her own shit she was going through then, but Aubrey was happy now. Right? Aubrey had no drama, so why wasn't she there for her? Did Aubrey hate Beca that much that she wouldn't have anything to do with any of what Chloe was going through? Why did Aubrey even hate Beca so much?

**Stacie (Group Chat Bellarmy) - We're here, missed you Beca, can't wait to hang out. How was your Christmas?**

**Ashley (Group Chat Bellarmy) - Let us know if you need me, I'll be right over to help you move in, I'm sure Jessica will too. :D xx**

**Jessica (Group Chat Bellarmy) - Love to, hope you had a great Christmas! xx**

**Beca (Group Chat Bellarmy) - Wow thanks you weird awesome nerds! Yeah sweet ass Christmas, hope yous all did too.**

**Stacie (Group Chat Bellarmy) - Welcome bro! Provide the drinks and I'll make it a party.**

**Beca (Group Chat Bellarmy) - Come at me, be great to see you all.**

**Fat Amy (DM to Beca) - I thought after you left Chloe wet and unsatisfied and Facebook officialled with radio shack boy that you wouldn't be wanting to be a part of the Bella's anymore. What gives Mitchell?**

Air.

Air?

Beca and air are no longer friends. No longer passing acquaintances. Blocked. Unfollowed.

It took her a few big gulps to regain the oxygen to make her brain work again. Who the fuck had Chloe been telling? What had Chloe been telling whoever the fuck she'd been talking to? Aubrey. Had to be right? Right. Fuck. Fuck. It's all gonna start again. Just like high school. Fuck. And then her dad will find out and this, her sweet ride, her is all over.

Maybe she wants it to be all over?

Why else hadn't she just quit the Bellas?

Beca wanted Chloe. Would stay with Jesse.

Beca could fuck about with Chloe, right? Have both?

Chloe and her, falling in love or not, were never going to be a couple. So yeah. Totally. They could fuck about behind his back. That would be better than nothing.

Beca had to go on like nothing was the matter. Nothing was different. Nothing had changed.

Normal.

Whatever normal fucking was.

Sure as shit wasn't her and Chloe.

Normal was her and Jesse.

She likes him. She does. He's sweet, kind, he's got a cute smile and strong arms that block out the world when she's laying in them. And she is happy when she's with him. Or she tells herself she is enough times that she forgets that she isn't and she just exists.

What reaction was Beca expecting off any of them? Off Chloe? She did want a reaction. Any reaction. No. Yes? No she didn't. A huge big blow up could fuck her entire life up but a part of her didn't care. A part of Beca wanted the big argument, wanted to self destruct.

Wanted Chloe to be there to rescue her from the ashes.

But then where would they be?

Where would she be?

Not at Barden.

They wouldn't be together if that happened. Wouldn't be together no matter what.

They would never work.

Ever.

Her and Chloe.

She's totally not even thinking about her and Chloe being a couple. Beca can't let herself even think about a remotely domesticated version of her and Chloe. There's just no way that's ever going to happen nor work.

She has Jesse. Jesse is what she needs. Chloe is what she wants.

Fuck. No.

She was with Jesse now.

Normal.

She had actually been passing her classes and so her dad had rewarded her like he said he would, with her own place. He said he would cover her. Bills, rent, the whack. Jesse really must have made a good impression over the Christmas break with her old man. They must have made a convincing couple, and damn it, why wouldn't they? They were the couple, she never even was an actual thing with Chloe, that was just a dumb u-turn on the road down her life. Barden wasn't going to be forever. Jesse wouldn't be forever. Jesse was convenient. For now.

And soon Barden would be her past. Jesse would be in her past.

Chloe would be a memory.

But she wanted to make more with her now. More to try and forget all about. Later.

Ones that she would eventually stop thinking about.

And Chloe is still a lot of what she thinks about.

First thing when she woke up.

Last thing before sleep took her in it's cold grasp.

Past.

Memory.

Then why did just thinking about Chloe. The potential of seeing her. Make her heart beat faster.

Past.

Memory.

They could never work. Never. They would be a disaster. Utter.

Make her life a misery. Jesse didn't have that power to destroy her. Chloe did, so she couldn't, wouldn't let her. Beca would rather destroy Chloe. Be a painful sad memory to Chloe. Better than nothing. At least then she would have meant something to someone.

Shoot first.

Think never.

Look out for number one right, Mitchell?

She never woke up with a master plan to hurt those around her. Honest. Or not. She just didn't want to be the one hurt. So yeah maybe she did think about it, a bit, pretend she didn't, cause admitting that would mean she's fucked in the head, a little, right? And she wasn't going to admit that. Fuck. She's hurt by her own actions enough never mind starting to really think how her actions effect those around her. If she started down that path she would crumble under the utter shitty mess that is her life. Plough on forward. No other way. Forward. Don't look back. Don't look down, just straight ahead, how it effects her. That's all she can do. Look out for number one, Mitchell.

 **Beca (DM to Fat Amy) - typing** as Beca typed and retyped over and over a reply to Fat Amy but didn't know what to write, how to deflect, to deny or confirm or? She needed to do it fast before he came back with drinks and could potentially see her phone. He wouldn't do that, but he could accidentally see and that was a no go. What could she say? What? She didn't know what? Chloe was doing the same in the group message.

Chloe stared at her thumbs, at the screen, through the screen.

She tried to picture where Beca was, who she was with. Tried to stop picturing Beca lying beside her. Looking up at her. Destructive eyes. Dark eyes. Begging for her. For Chloe to give her release. Pushed that away. And knew where Beca was. Just gosh darn knew. Dammit. Him.

Jesse.

Had to be.

Right?

It's late.

She re-reads the conversation between the Bellas in the chat. Beca probably isn't at Barden. Not yet. Was she at her fathers? Was she staying with Jesse? Was she crashing at the dorms still until she moved into her own place?

Chloe could throw on an old sweater, jeans, some chucks and be there in no time. Drive by and see if a light was on. If it was then what? Go up and knock. And?

And what?

If Beca was there? What?

What would Chloe even do if she seen her? What if she saw them together? No. That was a glitch in the universe and just wasn't real. Wouldn't be real until she saw it with her own eyes. Beca and Jesse. Together. Wouldn't be real until Beca told her it was herself. With her own mouth. That mouth that she wants to kiss. Can still feel Beca's lips on her own. Beca's lips on her ear, fuck she really liked that. Beca's lips on-

Chloe squeezed her phone in her hand so hard it hurt. She liked that? Yeah she kinda did. She hated that she felt. Anything.

Chloe reached across, opened her draw, fumbled, until her hand curled around it, what she was searching for, a pop, lid open, they fell into her hand, slow, she felt them in her palm, palm at the mouth, they stuck to her tongue, she dry swallowed, hard, gone, and soon she would be.

Needed to be numb.

If she could be with Beca right now she would what?

Chloe would what?

Chloe couldn't think about that. Wouldn't let herself.

Numb.

Tapped a few more pills into her palm.

Mouth.

Swallow.

Dry.

Chloe shook the bottle, darn it not many left, may as well. Palm. Mouth. Swallow.

Numb.

Gone.

Not be here. This plain of existence where she was so fucked up that she was happy to see a message off of Beca. That was wrong. She knows. She was happy, heart beating, thrumming, a hum in her chest it was that fast.

Numb.

Wanted to not feel Beca. Wanted to not remember what Beca felt like. Wants to feel Beca, now. Wants to forget. Herself. Beca.

Chloe wanted Aubrey curled up in bed with her, head on Aubrey's chest. Bree's steady breaths calming her. Like they always would. Always did. Her arms holding her. Shutting the world out. Safe. Always safe in her best friends arms. But they had barely spoken. Aubrey was busy with the Bellas. Aubrey had Stacie. Now. Not her. Girlfriend was trumping best friend. Now.

All Chloe had is gone.

All Chloe has is now.

Aubrey is gone.

Chloe wanted to hate Jesse, she just didn't. She felt the hate she wanted to feel for him focusing instead on Beca. She didn't want to hate her either. She just needed to see her. Now. Dang it. Now and it frustrated her that she couldn't. She didn't even know where her new apartment was. Suspended in mid air, with no where to fall and no one to catch her. Chloe was lost.

Was she with him when she sent that message? Would he move in with her? Why was it so easy to be public with Jesse and not her? Why him and not her? No, Chloe knew. Beca blamed her family. She was deep in the closet, or not. Was Beca even gay, even bisexual. Anything. Was Beca just into her? She didn't give a shit about labels. Not really. Who cares? When Beca is with her, she's with her. That's all that matters. But Chloe would like to share how much she's fallen for Beca with their friends. She wants to share her love for Beca with the world. Shout it from the rooftops. Not literally. No. She would do it literally. For Beca. But Beca, for as cocky and flirty she can be when they text, however rare that is, and how Beca can be when it's just the two of them, all swagger, winks, and smirks, when it get's real. When Chloe gets serious, Beca is nervous, and yeah darn it, making Beca all nervous and shaky is fucking hot too, there's a part, a big part of Beca that Chloe feels retreating. Like Beca is a lot of talk and not much follow through. Big mouth, small on the action. Chloe's breathing came out in short bursts, as she realised she was crying. Fuck Beca for bringing her to tears. Fuck Beca for still holding that power over her. She just wanted to not love her. She wanted to not hate her. She wanted to be indifferent to Beca. For Beca to not bring out any strong emotions out of her. One way or the other. For her to not give a shoot either way about Beca. But she did. You can't choose who you love. If she could she wouldn't pick fucking Beca fucking Mitchell.

**Chloe (Group Chat Bellarmy) - typing**

* * *

 

"Leave." Aubrey spoke through clenched teeth, back to the group. Hand on her hip. Eyes shooting bullets into Beca's eyes.

"What?"

"How..." Aubrey held in an expletive "How dare." Aubrey voice was hushed. But venom dripped from her words. Everything she really wanted to say to Beca was in each polite word she fired at her. "You turn up here," Aubrey had seen Beca enter the auditorium and went straight over, wanting to cut her off before Chloe could even see her. "really? I don't want to make a scene, for her sake. Okay." Stated, not asked. "And I don't want to see you here, or anywhere near Chloe again. Leave. Now."

"Oh hey... guys," Amy stood, waved. "It's Beca."

Beca waved back, small, wide eyes. Then a smirk. Slowly formed across her face as she side glanced past Aubrey then walked around her. Beca wouldn't be intimidated. Dammit. Not by her. Not by Aubrey. Aubrey hated her regardless. Fuck knows why. So no. Aubrey wouldn't be stopping her seeing Chloe.

Aubrey could pretty much fuck right off. This wasn't easy for her. None of this. To be in the same room as Chloe. She could have, probably should have just quit the Bellas. But she didn't. She was a glutton for punishment? Beca felt wrong. Knew this was wrong. She just had to see Chloe. Okay. Then why couldn't she? She just, fuck, she didn't know what, she was mainly on auto-matic. She was meant to go there, she may have been a little, a lot, scared that everyone would figure her out, that Jesse would figure it all out and then she wouldn't even have him to lean back on. So she followed her routine. Classes. Bellas. Her job. Jesse. Classes. Bellas. Her job. Jesse. Classes. Bellas. Her job. Jesse.

A list of rules she was set to blindly follow. On automatic. Do the same thing every day to get to her fucked up dreams. Dream big or go home, right? Mitchell.

And she could. Do it.

Make her dreams a reality.

Beca saw crystal clear her future. Saw it. Heard it. Sound and vision.

She wasn't chasing fame. She was climbing uphill to get to the top of her game. And she didn't want to play the game. She would be the game.

But until then.

Normal.

Jesse.

Until she could reach her dreams. And she could. She was talented. Determined. Driven.

Chloe wasn't worth jeopardising that.

Right?

Right.

Chloe didn't mean anything to her.

Mantra to tell herself over and over.

Chloe wasn't anything.

"You got our new set on there?" Ashley asked.

"Actually." Beca said, putting her laptop down on the table, a small nod, and a modest smile. Keeping it together as every nerve in her body was pumping adrenaline. Ready to fight. She could feel her knees shaking, and she forcibly unclenched her fists. Where did that surge come from? Fucking Aubrey. "I do."

"Ooh give us a listen, please please please." Jessica was up out her chair, clapping.

Aubrey followed Beca, stood back at the front of the group next to the white board. She tried to shoot Chloe an apologetic look but found Chloe's eyes on Beca. How could Chloe be so... so? Fucking much of a pushover. Chloe should be the one throwing Beca out. Chloe could have walked out and Aubrey would have followed, but Chloe just watched Beca. With intent. With. What? Aubrey couldn't read Chloe right now. And that just, fucking perplexed and annoyed the shit out of her.

Had her and Chloe really grown so far apart in such little time?

And if so, it was all her fault. Shit. Aubrey pushed the guilt to the back of her mind.

Beca smiled, coy, brushed her hair behind her ears, and sat.

Beca breathed steady. Forcibly so. She could keep her shit together. She could.

Chloe.

That damn red head.

Why did she even like her? What the shit was it about her that made her feel physically sick. In the worst way. Like she couldn't breathe and could, like no really actually faint? She was just a person. Chloe is just, no Chloe is never fucking ever just anything. But she is. Chloe is nothing. Chloe is nothing to her.

Chloe was wrong. He was right.

Then why couldn't Beca breathe a normal fucking steady breath without thinking about it since walking in. Into the same room as her. Chloe.

That damn red head.

Beca would not let Chloe hurt her. Walls up. Fuck she should just go. She's still surprised she is there. That she had the courage to go and actually walk into the same room as Chloe. But Chloe was right, Beca was happy when she was with her. Near her. Same. Beca is surprised that Aubrey hasn't just laid her the fuck out, or dragged her out. Maybe she was hoping that would happen. Drama. That Aubrey would force her to never come back so it didn't have to be her decision to quit. Fuck, Beca knows she's good at letting others control her life, she knows she's weak and all kinds of pathetic. Come on Aubrey just fucking do it. Beca sneaks a glance at Aubrey, daring, but Aubrey's eyes are on Chloe. Or where she thinks Chloe is.

Beca hadn't even been able to just fucking look across at Chloe. Yet. Yet? Could she? Even?

She's just a person.

"Okay, okay..." Beca pressed play.

"Words that I made up, you say my name like words that I made up, you say your name like words that I-"

"See I thought CR-" Beca started, talking over the track.

"Oh yeah, I got that." Cynthia sat back, arms folded, smug. And rightly so. The Adele part kept going under the next bit, layered on top, as The Arcade Fire started.

"People say that your dreams are the only things that save ya. Come on baby in our dreams we can live our misbehaviour."

"And that's like, totally up to you," Beca glanced at Aubrey, wanted to relinquish some semblance of control of the situation back to Aubrey. She's not sucking up. Honest. She's just sorta really a lot thankful that Aubrey's not throwing her out, and letting her play her track. Beca does want to be there. With them. Shut up. She does, but she found Aubrey's eyes still on Chloe. Her Chloe. Chloe that she still couldn't look at. Chloe was wrong. He was right. "...who sings that." Beca said quickly, allowing them to listen to the mix as it continued.

"Every time you close your eyes lies, lies! Every time you close your eyes lies, lies! Every time you close your eyes lies, lies! Every time you close your eyes lies, lies! Every time you close your eyes lies, lies! Every time you close your eyes lies, lies!" then layered on top of that, on top of both was a recording of Beca rapping.

Aubrey cocked her head, she liked the mix. Dammit. She didn't like the way Chloe was smiling. A lot. It wasn't real. Aubrey knew Chloe too well to know a fake smile. And that was it. Fake. What had Aubrey missed. She wanted to ask Chloe, had wanted to ask Chloe, be there for Chloe since Stacie had told her about Beca's downward spiral, and she could see that Chloe was in a total mess of her own. Wished she could go back and help and be there for Chloe over the holidays. For all of this. For everything with Beca. Aubrey couldn't. But she could be there for her now. Stacie, well she would just have to understand. Stacie wasn't going to cost her Chloe. Chloe wouldn't cost her Stacie. They were separate. Could be. Aubrey could have it all.

Chloe was zoned out. Complete. Trying to focus on Beca being there. And not jumping up and doing something, anything about it. About Beca. She was crumbling inside. Refused to show it. Hoped Aubrey wasn't looking, taking notice of her. Aubrey would always know. Could tell. When Chloe was genuinely happy. Today. Now. Was not one of those times. Chloe thought she was ready. No. That was a lie she had told herself to get out the house. Get herself to the rehearsal. She couldn't even believe that lie any more. She lied to herself about Beca all the time.

"I just wanna get you home and uh, uh, uh, uh, oh. Yes, I'm drinking whiskey, baby I am gone tonight, NBC is not the only thing I'm cumming on tonight. Gross, why the fuck I say these things? It isn't over, haven't heard the chubby lady sing. Everybody hate me, call a wigga Chris Rock. These weak niggas always in your face like Raybans. Yes, I bring the heat, girl, fire, fireman. Baby, I'm your hero, Beca for Spider-Man."

* * *

 

"It makes me sick, Bec, I know it can't be, it just can't be real between you two."

Chloe had hung back at the end of the rehearsal. Everyone had headed out, Cynthia off to a class, Jessica off to music theory, Ashley helping her carry all her books, Donald had stopped by to pick up Lily for lunch, Flo had picked Stacie up to drive them over to the lab, Fat Amy had asked Beca to lunch for a good old catch up, Beca had said sure, but she had some shit to finish off here and that she would meet her over at the cafe by the station in a half hour, so Amy had left, and she told Aubrey she would join her at the gym. Later. Aubrey had tried to hang back, darn it, Chloe needed to speak to Beca. Alone. Aubrey was still probably out there in the parking lot. Waiting for her.

Chloe hoped she was. A bit. It would be fantastic to spend some alone time with Bree. Just them two. It would be the first time since before. Chloe couldn't go there. Remember that night. Nobody. Stacie nor Aubrey had spoken about it. To her at least. She didn't know what they had said to one another. What Aubrey had or hadn't told Stacie about her. Their past. Their friendship. Darn it their lives together. Her and Aubrey just were. Long. Complicated. But always were. Her and Aubrey. Together. No matter what or who. Together.

"It...it is." Beca lied. To Chloe? To herself? All she felt passed her lips now we're lies, she hadn't said anything remotely true since she told Chloe she was hers. And fuck that's even a lie. Because she's like technically with Jesse now. Beca couldn't but she did look at Chloe. Looked up at Chloe's legs, her waist, travelled up her body, from her position in her seat. She wanted Chloe to sit down with her. Talk. Maybe. Fuck. She just needed to be alone with Chloe. There was no real plan or thinking behind staying back, okay. It just happened.

Shoot first.

Think never.

It fucking hurt that she was lying. Hurt her to see the pain increase in Chloe's features. Fuck everything hurt. She was fed up of feeling nothing but shit. But she brought every shit storm on herself. She's not dumb. Beca knows this. But she still hits the big red self destruct button each and every time. What the actual shit is wrong with her?

"What? Because you're one of those a cappella girls and he's one of those a capella boys? So what Bec? It's inevitable?"

"If things, if... if a lot of things were different then yeah... I could see us together. You and me. But it's-"

"-Don't! Don't say that. That makes it worse. Tell me there's no chance in hell we would ever be together. Tell yourself that. Believe that then come back and tell me we aren't meant to be together."

"There is no fate."

"...but what we make for ourselves." Chloe finished Beca's whisper. Then laughed. Loud. Incredulous. A cock of her head, hands on her hips. "Congratulations you've seen The Terminator."

"Not..." Beca looked away, down. At her hands in her lap. "...all of it..."

"Why? Did you two," Chloe hesitated as the image swam in her head of what she was about to say "... did you and him...fuck." Chloe tried to search out, connect with Beca's eyes. Beca's stared at the floor. "...whilst that played on the tv in the background, thanks for that visual Beca." Beca remained silent. Chloe waited for a denial she knew wasn't coming. Hoped to God it was. Anything for Beca and Jesse to not be together, for it to be all some big joke. "You're not even... you're not even denying it!"

"Chlo-"

"-Don't. Have you fucked him?" Chloe's question was met with silence. "Of course! Of course you have... do-do you love him?" Chloe turned away from Beca, hands on her forehead, palms pressed in hard, trying to stave off the headache shooting through her synapses. "Of course, you're his," Chloe swallowed. Hard. Mouth dry. She spat the word out. Wishing Beca was hers. "...girlfriend-"

"-No." Beca stood then, turned Chloe to face her. "No." Beca repeated. Firm. "Chlo..." Hands on Chloe's shoulders. Chloe was shaking.

And all Beca wanted to do is kiss Chloe.

And all Chloe wanted to do is hit Beca.

* * *

 

"Why didn't you ask any of us to come out tonight?"

Beca ran her hand through her hair. A shrug. She didn't have an answer for Stacie.

"I-I dunno..."

"They didn't reject you when you came into rehearsals yesterday, right?"

"I-I guess..."

"And you wanna know why?" You think everyone in there knows your business?" Beca shrugged in response. "Fuck them," Stacie smiled as Beca gave a small laugh. "They don't know shit. We all could've done with a Bella night out, y'know. I could've at least."

"That's-Stacie, thanks, but that's-it's just... different. I couldn't have everybody, fuck, any body there who would know, y'know? But I've-I just have to," Stacie nodded, hummed her understanding. "I'd go crazy if I-You know the songs I sing up at the bar are..." Hand running down over her face.

"Yeah, Chloe. What's happening there? Aren't you and Jesse...?"

"Yeah, yeah we're-" A shrug. "...we're," A sigh. "Jesse," A small nod. "...yeah."

"Sorry I asked, you don't need to explain anything to me."

"No-no I've-you're the only one I can talk to... which is so fucked up!" Beca saw the small confused look Stacie sent her way. "Aubrey. Aubrey and Chloe."

"So... what was that about back at the bar?" Stacie chose to ignore that, she didn't want to think of Aubrey and Chloe in the same sentence. "Don't think I didn't catch a song or two."

"You hid in the back? Fuck. Stacie." Both hands covered Beca's face now. She slinked back down hard into the passenger seat. She turned a little, and took her hands away, looked out the window, and only found darkness. Her reflection stared back at her.

"Well you did ring me. So yeah. I did."

"To pick me up, not..."

"How much you drank bro?" Beca shrugged, pressed her head further down, against the window, watching her breath spread out against the window. "What I saw, Beca, fuck, you broke my heart."

"Fuck you." Beca muttered. Not in a harsh way, in a, shit you've totally got me figured out way. Deflecting.

"No, really... Wicked Game, I mean if Chloe heard that, if Jesse heard that, fuck, you'd be in trouble. He'd be dumb to not figure out that it's not about him, that you're so totally still-"

"-Don't say it-" Beca struggled but sat back up. Hair fell over her face, she made no attempt to move it out of her face. Liking the way it hid her eyes, not that Stacie was looking at her what with driving, but it still made her feel more invisible. A barrier.

"-That you're in love with her?"

"Am. Not. Never was."

"Sure sure, so you want me to drop you off at yours or… or at his... or…" The or, the final or was the Bella house, was Chloe.

"Umm..." Beca knew the answer. Stacie knew the answer.

"...Or it is."


	26. Chapter 26

They drove the rest of the way in silence until they were back at the Bella house. Stacie sat in the car. The air growing awkward between her and Beca. Thick. Beca knew why she was there. For Chloe. Could Beca face Chloe? Face heading back up into the Bella house? Face going back up into Chloe's room? Bed.

"I'm gonna go inside. Are you..."

"...I-I need umm... I just like need a minute or like..."

Stacie nodded. Understood. This wasn't easy for Beca. On Beca. Maybe Stacie should be feeling guilty for aiding Beca. But if Beca had wanted to go back to her own place or his she would have dropped her off there. She was certain Beca was right where she wanted to be. And if Beca was with Chloe then that meant Chloe wasn't with Aubrey. Not that Stacie thought that Aubrey would fuck around behind her back, certainly not, she wouldn't even entertain the idea that was ever at all possible. Nope. So why was it so important to keep Chloe distracted with Beca?

"Do you want me to wait with you... Or...?"

"Umm..."

"I could leave the door for you, if you like?"

"Yeah, yeah umm, that-that would be, thanks."

Stacie placed a hand on Beca's knee, squeezed, comforted. Beca appreciated it. Beca needed that small amount of confidence. Beca watched Stacie get out the car, and enter the house, the light go on, then off, a small one replaced it. The lamp by the door, Beca figured. Beca looked up at Chloe's window. Dark.

Beca sat there for, fuck, too long? Not long enough. And then she moved. Climbed over and snapped the case, and struggled but the guitar comes out the car with her. She stumbled but soon she's standing, heart beating, pounding, as she looked up at the dark window of Chloe's room, with her guitar. She started slow, the song being so fucking easy to play as she rang out the first two chords over and over, gaining confidence in her wasted state, even in that state she could easily play it.

"She say it's cold outside and she hands me my raincoat. She's always worried about things like that," Beca feels. Beca fucking feels, its cold as tits and her fingers should be freezing but the alcohol warms her. Spirals out from the pit of her stomach. And she's feeling. Pouring it all into the song. "She says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault and she only sleeps when it's raining and she screams and her voice is straining," And she sings increasingly louder, plays increasingly harder, louder. The light goes on above her. Beca smokes into the chorus. "She says 'Baby It's 3 am I must be lonely'. When she says-" Beca continues playing but she stops singing, voice caught in her throat when she sees movement, a shadow, then Chloe's there. Looking down on her, at her. She can't read her expression so she starts to sing again. "She's got a little bit of something, God it's better than nothing and in her color portrait world she believes that she's got it all." Chloe opened her window, she knows she shouldn't but she does and the way Beca smiles up at her, fuck, Beca is her own light source, bright, and Chloe hated the way it twisted into her, Becas darn perfect smile. "She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to," Beca continued and Chloe hates how she's melting at Becas voice. Chloe's not smiling back. "and she only sleeps when it's raining and she screams and her voice is straining-"

"What the shit?" Chloe muttered to herself. Then opened the window fully, called down, "Bec!" in a hushed whisper, then a little louder to try and get Beca to stop. "Bec, are you serious?"

"She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to and the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days." Beca ignores her. No. She keeps singing because it had gotten Chloe's attention and she wants her attention. On her. Wants her. "She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway but outside," And Chloe watched Becas fingers strumming the guitar strings harder and faster and hates that she wishes Beca had used her fingers on her, in her, maybe they wouldn't be here. Now. If Beca could have just shown her. Instead she what? Plays her this cliché song. Beca's voice is a little slurred but still, and this she chides herself over, does things to her. Things it shouldn't. Not when it's this song. There's no significance here. Right? Was she missing something? No, this song literally means nothing. What does she mean to Beca? "...it's stopped raining-"

"Bec stop it!"

"She says 'Baby It's 3 am I must be lonely-"

"Bec, stop. Please? I-I-can't-You can't be-" Chloe looked to her clock on her dresser, then back down at Beca who hadn't let up. "Wow." Chloe muttered to herself. " it's like actually... it's like actually gone three."

"-The rain's gonna wash away I believe it."

"Get the." Beca stopped singing but continued playing her guitar. Chloe breathed harshly through her nose. "Fuck. Out of here."

"Wh-what?" Beca smiled up at her, unsure. Shouldn't this have worked? She would sing Chloe a song and all would be okay. For one night.

Chloe didn't smile back.

"Now."

Chloe watched Beca stumble to Stacie's car, put her guitar, with a loud twang and a scuffle, into the back. Stacie. She didn't know whether she wanted to hit or kiss, fuck that wasn't an avenue she was prepared to go down, Stacie for bringing Beca here. Beca stumbled towards the back door, as she disappeared around the side of the house. Chloe moved away from the window and waited at her bedroom door, if she actually went out there it would take everything in her not to physically attack Beca, her shoulders moving up and down. Fists. Clenched and unclenched, and clenched again. Her knees weak. No strong. Like they were ready to run from, run towards danger. Fast. She was keeping it together, and totally not hyperventilating. Together. Her shit was together, darn it.

Or like not so much as she started to shake more.

Violent.

Chloe was furious. Breathing deep. How dare Beca turn up and try to, what? Serenade her. How dare Beca try to win her over in any way. How dare Beca even exist and not be with her, say they could, say they wouldn't. All up to Beca. How dare Beca tease the idea of them together and withhold it from her. And then do this, what actually was this? A seduction? Play her emotions like this. How. Fucking. Dare.

Chloe heard Beca's footsteps. Drunk. Always drunk. Always stumbling down the hall towards her and she would open her door, her heart, to her again like always. Like the fucking dumb ass she is and she hates that she's weak. For Beca. Chloe hated her. She does. She fucking does. Chloe hated herself maybe more. Hated that she felt hate.

Hate was not an emotion known to Chloe. Not one she was familiar with at least. She had felt it once in her life, for the man she had, for a time, believed was responsible for her mother and sisters death, and there was a long while when every single fucking time when she looked in the mirror and saw the scar on her forehead she saw his face. And hated his face. Hated her own face because of the scar. A constant reminder that they had died and all she had been left with was what? Only a small scar, but Aubrey had helped her see her scar in a different light. It was a constant reminder, yes, a constant reminder of her family. And that they were always with her.

She opened the door just as Beca fell against it.

Thud.

The air between them was angry. Charged. From Chloe's side anways. Beca. Well she didn't care what Beca was thinking. Feeling. What was Beca thinking? Coming here.

Beca was pulled in by Chloe, hands gripped her upper arms. The door slammed far too loud behind her from her being pushed.

Against it.

Closed.

"Chlo?"

Chloe's breath came out shuddered as she stared at Beca's lips. She wanted to taste, to kiss her but all she could think of was where they had been. Jesse. What they had done. An image of Beca blowing Jesse stomped into her mind. The image twisted deep in her stomach. Jesse's fucking cock. She couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard she stared at Beca's mouth. Jesse. Fucking Beca and fucking Jesse. Together. Fucking.

Beca lent forward, into Chloe, and the way Beca's hair fell over her face a little made her look cute. Vulnerable.

Chloe loved that look. Hated that she loved it. Knew Beca was anything but vulnerable. No maybe not. Beca was weak and pathetic and she loved her. Despite that. And she let Beca kiss her. Wanted Beca despite every fibre of her being knowing she should be better than this. Better than Beca. But Beca is what she wants. Beca is what she deserves. So she lets her kiss her. Again. Over and over.

Soft, curious, exploring.

Chloe kissed back. Hard. Taking over the kisses as her hands wandered, fast, needy, gripped at Beca's sides. Hoping to bruise. Wanting to leave her mark. Let him know Beca was hers. Not his. What did he know? Beca belonged to her. She wanted to kiss her name into Beca so the next time Beca kissed him, he would taste Chloe. Just like she felt like she could taste him on Beca's tongue now.

Beca would fall if not for Chloe holding her up, she knows it, leans into Chloe. So fucking happy to be back there. Back in Chloe's room, back with Chloe's mouth on hers, back with Chloe's hands on her. Back with Chloe's strawberry lip gloss coating her lips. Chloe's taste in her mouth. Just fucking Chloe. Her and Chloe. Together.

Chloe moved her hips against Beca, moved her leg, her thigh between Beca's centre and pushed. Hard. Her knee hitting the door between Beca's legs.

Beca gasped into her mouth. Opened up to Chloe.

Chloe pushed her thigh harder, pushed her tongue in further. Claimed. Hers.

Beca's lower back came off the door. Hips rolling up into Chloe's hips in response.

Want.

Wet.

Chloe.

Chloe moaned into Beca's mouth, hated how needy she sounded, as she moved away from Beca's kisses, feeling how Beca was starting to gain confidence, kiss back harder, different, tongue probing. Chloe felt the sickness rise. Hated his taste. Chloe's not even sure if it's there, really there, but Beca taste's different now. Chloe kissed Beca's neck, it turned into a nibble as her tongue trailed over each kiss, tasting Beca's skin, tasting his lingering kisses on Beca's skin. To stop a sob, she fucking wouldn't fucking cry, dammit, Chloe bit down. Hard. She felt the muscles and skin below, clenched tight in her teeth, Chloe felt Beca tense and strain against her mouth. Chloe would leave a mark. Marks. Her mark. He would know. He would fucking know. She wanted to taste anything but him. Wanted to taste Beca. Wanted to taste blood.

Beca couldn't cry out, she tried, but all sound was trapped at her throat where Chloe's mouth was. Beca liked the pain. She knew she deserved it. Was so turned on by this pushy domineering side of Chloe, wasn't expecting that. What was Beca expecting? For Chloe to let her up? Fall into her arms? Sweet kisses? She wasn't expecting this Chloe. She really fucking liked this Chloe.

Chloe shook as she twisted her bite, let go, leaving Beca marked, wet and gasped as she kissed her way up Beca's neck, long, slow, until she bit down again, let go quicker this time and pulled on Beca's ear sharply with her teeth before whispering into her.

"I hate you."

"C-Chlo?"

"Don't!"

"Chl-" Beca flinched as Chloe hit the wood of the door beside her. Loud. Hard with her fist. Chloe's breath came out hot against Beca's cheek.

"-Don't!" Chloe leant her cheek against Beca's. Closed her eyes slowly. Tried to take a few shallow breaths. Calm herself. It wasn't working. "I-I used..." Chloe's voice came out small. "...I used to love how you said my name," Chloe held in a sob. "Fuck you..." Chloe sniffed. "I used to love-" Chloe let out a long shaky breath. Beca felt it against her ear. It made her shiver all the way down her spine. "...now you...you-you make sick." She inhaled deep. Turned her head and kissed Beca's cheek, across and up to her ear, licked and kissed as she felt Beca holding her breath. Chloe sucked on the skin under Beca's ear, hoped, wanted to leave a mark. Would make damn sure to leave a mark. Marks. Her hands moved up and popped the buttons on Beca's shirt, loved the way the material stretched over her chest, realising it was the same dark blue one that matched the midnight in Beca's eyes that she had worn that night. That fucking night. The night Chloe had let her stay in her life when she should have told her to fuck off out of it, but Beca had lied and said she was falling her her, and Chloe had been falling in love with her. Hated that she had been. Had? Was? In love? Fuck Beca looked so good, hair mussed, eyes needy her pupils blown out big black possessed circles with desire, lips plump from Chloe's kisses, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling fast, all because of her. "I hate..."

"Chlo?"

Chloe ran her hand up under Beca's tank top, Beca's shirt now fully open, sleeves sliding down her arms, tight. Chloe felt Beca's flesh hot against her palm. She pushed the top up, up, up over Beca's chest. Chloe twisted her hand hard over Beca's wrist against the door. Grip tight. Chloe lent back and took in the vision before her. Chloe felt her mouth water at the sight of Beca's breasts moving with each breath, encased in yellow lace. Chloe bit her teeth together. Hard. A smirk forming. Hate burned bright behind her eyes. Beca's smirk. The smile for Beca. Only. Chloe's head went down to Beca's breasts. Had Jesse done this? Of course Jesse had. Did Beca look at him the way she was looking at Chloe? Chloe doubted it. Very much doubted it. That look was for her. Only. Beca wanted her. Only. Why else had Beca showed up? Beca must have broken it off with him. Beca was with her. Not him. Her. Only. But even Chloe couldn't believe the lie she was telling herself to justify it. Justify wanting to fuck Beca. He wasn't anything to her. Chloe owed him nothing. He was the one stealing Beca away. She would take Beca right back. But Beca was never hers. She could be. Fucking would be. Chloe sucked on the rising and falling flesh, kissed across from one breast to the other and back again, her hand came up and squeezed Beca through the lace, pushed aside, not off, her bra and bit on already hard nipples.

The back of Beca's head hit Chloe's door. Thud. Beca cried out as Chloe's teeth twisted. Time ticked by slowly and Chloe wasn't letting go. Beca's head rolled against the door. Down as Chloe flicked her tongue over Beca's skin as she twisted with her teeth. It hurt. Chloe hurt. And Beca loved it. And when she did let go Chloe repeated the action at Beca's other breast. Somehow harder. More painful. Beca's head fell forward, she looked down at Chloe, it made her breathe faster, Chloe must have felt her breaths speed up, her chest rise and fall quicker, as Chloe's eyes flicked up and met her own. Chloe grinned. Wicked. A twist. Beca cried out. A cry that turned into a moan, a whimper as Chloe took in as much of Beca's breast into her mouth. Sucked. Beca's free hand came up to Chloe's head, fingers digging, pushed at her head, closer, needed more of Chloe. Beca rolled her hips over and over up into Chloe's thigh.

Chloe felt Beca's desire. She didn't want Beca to enjoy this. Did she? Was Beca? Was she enjoying it?

Chloe pushed herself off Beca. Stumbled backwards. Eyes on the floor. She wouldn't be able stay away from Beca if she looked up.

"Chlo?" Her name came out small out of Beca's mouth.

"Don't!"

"Chlo?" Chloe looked up. Beca was still. Her back flat against the door, hips off, calling out to Chloe, legs still apart, missing Chloe between them, her chest heaved, tank top bunched up where Chloe left it, shirt almost off, bunched at her wrists, awkward, trapping, bra straps down, breasts falling out of their cups. Beca was dishevelled and so fucking hot. Beyond hot. Beca didn't move to follow her. Was Beca waiting for her to make the next move? Lead? "Chlo?"

"Stop!" Chloe stepped back into Beca's space. Her space, between Beca's legs. Beca pressed her hips up against, up into Chloe. Chloe loved the way Beca's eyes fluttered, fought to stay open at the feeling of her. Chloe had her head, her chin titled up, eyes cast down. Trying to make Beca feel small. "Don't ever say my name." Chloe's eyes focused on Beca's mouth. Dipped down and smirked when she saw the marks already coming up across Beca's chest. "Not with…" Chloe's fingers wandered up over Beca's neck, her chin, pushed two into her mouth. Beca gasped. Mouth slack. Eyes wide. Confused. "...with your mouth." Beca turned her head, hard against the wood of the door. Chloe felt and liked the feeling of Beca struggling to get her fingers out of her mouth, out from pressing, down. Hard. Against her tongue. Chloe felt Beca's stomach twitch as she lent into her. Chloe withdrew, liked the small gasp and cough Beca gave as she pushed Beca's head away with her wet fingers. "My name doesn't belong in there any more."

"Please..." Beca breathed heavy and fast to regain her breath. "Chl..." Beca stopped at hearing a low growl. "B-Beale?…" She followed her into the room, hands catching Chloe's wrist, pulled Chloe back into her, wrapping Chloe in an embrace and cradled her. Close. Tight. Kissed her.

Chloe let her. Loved the feeling of Beca's body against her. Both of them tore off Beca's shirt. Chloe flung off Beca's tank top behind them. Both of their hands fought at the clasp and Beca's bra was gone. Chloe kissed her back. Hard. Pulled on Beca's lip. Wet. Tasted where she had tore and made the corner of Beca's lip bleed.

They stumbled. Blind. Backwards until the back of Chloe's legs hit her bed.

"Get the-" Chloe pushed, Beca stumbled back. "Get off me!" Beca stepped forward again. Quick. Chloe grabbed her waist with one hand, nails digging, her other hand at Beca's neck as she pulled Beca back into her. Kissed her. Gasping between kisses. Her hands moved, snaked around Beca. Bringing her closer as her hand wandered up Beca's back, she heard it, felt Beca's skin beneath her nails. Her other hand on Beca's front. Grasped, hard, at Beca's breasts. "Get the-" She couldn't stop herself. She wanted Beca. They fell back against, across, Chloe's bed together. Chloe's feet, tip toes on the floor, holding them in place as Beca crawled on her. Over her. Chloe knows she should move. Out from under Beca. Is too scared of herself to move. Chloe starts to shake. The anger in her bubbling. Rising to the surface. If she moves she doesn't know what she'll do. Her mind goes to Jesse. Does Beca ride him? Hard? Fast? Or slow? Hands in her own hair? At her own breasts? Beca's hands pushing down on his chest? Or reverse? Hands gripping his legs? Or the bed spread between his legs? Would Beca look at him? Does she? Skin on skin. Hips rolling as he slides into her. Over and over. Does she cum? He does. Chloe knows that. How could he not? Just thinking about Beca makes Chloe wet. Does Beca cry out his name? Make the same sounds she makes when she's with her? Or does Beca lie back and take it like she feels she could do right now? Let Beca do whatever the fuck she wanted to her as long as Beca is with her. And not him.

"I know…" Beca kissed into her. "You want me. I know." Their tongues fought for dominance. Chloe still had fight in her. Sticky. Gasping for breath. "And I want you too," Beca's hand took one of Chloe's hands and pushed it down, it disappeared down the front of Beca's jeans, awkward, hard, Chloe's wrist twisting "...feel..." Beca gasped, "feel..." Beca couldn't breathe "...how much..."

Sticky.

Chloe's fingers felt.

Claimed.

Probed.

Hers.

Wet.

"I hate you." Chloe bit the words into Beca's neck, unable to stop herself kissing the bites. Unable to stop searching out Beca's lips above her and kissing her. Gasping into her as her fingers worked their way into Beca. Her hips rose of the bed. They found an awkward rhythm. Their breathing becoming one as they kissed. And kissed. "I fucking..." Chloe's fingers moved inside. Beca. Slower. "Hate you." Her thumb rubbed hard. Her fingers stilled, as she let Beca's hips move down against her, against her palm, as she twirled, and pushed. Faster and faster against Beca's clit. "I hate..." until Chloe was sobbing into Beca's mouth. "...that I want you."

"But you do... you still do... you want me..." Beca panted as she twitched above Chloe. Chloe felt her own orgasm building as Beca writhed against her, thighs pressed, "I... want you, I hate it, but fuck!" Beca gasped. High. "I-fuck! Oh God!" Beca's hips moved faster, harder into Chloe. Chloe pulled out of her, "G-God oh fuck," Awkwardly, hand almost trapped by the constriction of Beca's jeans. Beca's hand went to her hair, swept it out of her face, hot, sticky. Beca went to grasp at Chloe's hand with her free one. Felt her nails, scratch, dig, rip at Chloe. Replace it where it was needed. In her. "...don't... please, Chlo, don't stop."

Chloe held a hand over her own mouth. Trying. Mostly succeeding in keeping in the moans and cries she needed to let free but wanted to keep in.

"Get off of me." Chloe pushed with her free hand, and Beca fell back, took in Chloe's streaked eyes. Mascara puddled and running down her cheeks. Chloe's eyes flicked up to hers then. Beca looked away, couldn't take the pain, the redness and hurt in them. Beca moved to just straddle one side of her. Chloe gasped, wiped at her tears, the back of her hand blackening, Beca shifted and settled on her and Chloe held in a sob, gasped and kept it in, with the shift of Beca's weight on her making her feel so fucking used. The pressure of Beca changing and igniting her senses all over again, enjoying it, the feeling of Beca. Hating that she was enjoying it. Building. Beca's hips rolled down. Rolled into the side of Chloe. Rolled and rolled in just the right way, building, at just the right pressure through her jeans. Almost. Just right. Not quite. Building. Beca needed Chloe there. Chloe would take it. Off her. For her. Get Beca off. Chloe couldn't. Take it. Any more. That she was getting Beca off. Chloe was just. There. Did Beca care it was her? Or was she just there to get Beca there. Make Beca cum. Fuck that. "Get out."

Chloe pushed Beca off her.

Beca fell back. Moved back. Quick.

Chloe was caught off guard.

Beca's hands pushed at Chloe's. Held her down. In place. Where Beca needed her. Chloe would take it.

"You still want me."

Chloe strained against Beca's hands. Felt Beca's grip tighten. Beca's hips rolled down into her. Hard. Chloe squeezed her eyes shut. Tight. Heard Beca's moans above her. Felt Beca leaning down into her.

Beca loved the feeling of Chloe's top riding up under her. Skin on skin. The feeling of the material of Chloe's top rubbing against her bare breasts. Beca kissed Chloe's tear stained cheeks.

"Get. Off me!"

Beca tried to kiss Chloe's mouth. Chloe turned her head, back and forth against her bed. Away.

"Chlo-?"

Chloe pushed up against Beca.

"-Get-" Chloe gasped, she wouldn't cry, she fucking wouldn't. "Fuck!" Chloe's hips twisted, legs strained and kicked. "Off me!"

"Chlo...?" Beca slowly let Chloe's hands, her wrists go, realising how hard she had been holding onto Chloe. No not onto. Holding her down. "Beale? Please I..." Beca moved off. Clumsy. Eyes wide. Glassy with tears. She looked back at Chloe. Saw the pain in every feature. She was the reason for that. Beca felt sick.

"Get Out!" Chloe rose, sat up, hand rubbing her own brow. Over her eyes. She didn't want Beca's eyes on her. Chloe felt small. Couldn't look at Beca. She went to rise and felt how sticky the tops of her thighs were through her pyjama shorts. Chloe shuddered. She felt wrong. It twisted deep in her stomach. Chloe felt sick.

Beca saw Chloe shudder. Beca bit her lip. Curious. Was she? Had she been getting Chloe off? The way Chloe was getting her off. That scared her. Scared her that it was something she wanted to explore. Fuck! She had always wanted that but had been too chicken shit scared to just fucking find out if it was all just super fucking gay repressed thoughts or actions she would repeat with Chloe over and over and want to do nothing but be with Chloe and make her happy. What would being inside Chloe feel like? Fuck what? What would Chloe taste like? Beca wanted to know.

"Beale?" Beca moved to touch Chloe's cheek. Light.

"Leave!" Chloe moved off her bed. Picked up Beca's shirt. Threw it at her.

"Chlo?"

"I said..." Picked up Beca's tank top "...don't you ever!-" That thrown too. "Fucking!-"

"-Chlo please shit I never-"

"-Get the fuck out now before I-"


	27. Chapter 27

**Stacie - Missed you at rehearsals again today bro, missing you in general**

**Beca - I couldn't**

**Stacie - Strawberry?**

**Beca - Of course but can we pretend I had to work and that's why I missed it so we don't have to talk about it**

**Stacie - I guess if you really want but I'm here. No matter what.**

**Beca - Thanks like really fucking thanks**

**Stacie - No bother bro, you good tho?**

**Beca - Totally, note the sarcasm. How is she? Pretend I didn't ask but tell me anyways?**

**Stacie - She's... honestly?**

**Beca - Yeah**

**Stacie - Pretending everything is fine. Clearly its not. I know you don't have to tell me anything and I haven't seen you since that night, none of us have, so yeah it's cool if you really don't want to talk about it but Chloe's a mess. I'm worried about her. Beca I'm worried about you.**

**Beca - We fucked.**

**Stacie - Ohhhhhh! Like some sweet lady loving?**

**Beca - No I wish! It was fuck I dunno.**

**Stacie - Beca? Are you a dead fuck?**

**Beca - Fuck you ;) It was like some sort of hate fuck just banging and I hate myself for it**

**Stacie - But you lurve her?**

**Beca - Yes no does it matter?**

**Stacie - What?! Of course it matters. You should be together, not with him. He doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve this.**

**Beca - I know I know**

**Stacie - You don't deserve this. I don't understand. You like her, she likes you. What gives?**

**Beca - Chloe hates me.**

**Stacie - I don't think that's in her wheelhouse, certainly not when it comes to you. Beca she totally loves the shit out of you. Can't you see that?**

**Beca - Trust me. She hates me.**

**Stacie - Do you want me to come over? You at work? I'll be done with my assignment in a half hour if I put my head down.**

**Beca - Thanks, yeah at work, I'm here at the station til 8 and then I've got plans with Jesse afters.**

**Stacie - See you soon, I'll bring like cheese or something.**

**Beca - Cheese?**

**Stacie - Yeah or something... cheese always cheers me up, what? :P**

**Beca - Potassium, see you soon.**

**Stacie - Be still my heart, you nerd!**

* * *

 

**Stacie - Rehearsal at two today, really love to see you there. Bet she would too.**

read 11:14

Beca couldn't hide from Chloe forever. There were only so many excuses she could keep making for missing Bella rehearsals. So yeah she was gonna suck it up, she had to. Beca needed to see her. Beca had tried again to live without her, but Chloe was the first thing on her mind in the morning, and even wrapped in Jesse's arms, Chloe was her last thought at night. Still. She hoped for the day, the morning that she woke and her head didn't swim with afterthoughts of her dreams of being in Chloe's embrace.

**Beca - See you there bro**

* * *

 

When had Chloe even?

Cause all rehearsal Chloe hadn't spoke to her. All rehearsal Chloe hadn't even looked at her.

Beca wanted Chloe to confront her, to face what had happened, what had happened? Beca pushed those thoughts out of her head. Chloe had been drunk. She had been drunk? Not an excuse just an observation. Totally an excuse for her actions that night. No she didn't want Chloe to confront her. Well not in front of everyone but during a break, yeah, sure, ask her to come outside with her whilst Chloe went for a smoke, anything? Take Beca outside with her, shout at Beca, kiss Beca, hit Beca. Again.

Something?

Beca got nothing. Chloe had totally iced her.

Chloe had every right. Chloe owed her nothing. Nobody is owed. Beca certainly wasn't.

Nothing.

Fact was it was so fucking hard to even look at Chloe.

Beca was thankful, and the amount she was thankful made her feel sick, that Chloe had worn a long sleeve sweater. Yes it made her feel sick. No Beca didn't know how to make it all right. All good. Hated that it probably was never going to be.

All Beca saw any time she tried to glance across at Chloe was Chloe below her. Crying. Struggling to get free. Free from her. And she had what? Fuck stop thinking about it, Mitchell.

Not thinking about it didn't wipe it from existence. Her actions had happened. They had fucking happened. But Chloe had started it but Chloe had bit her but Chloe had scratched and clawed at her but Chloe had made her bleed but Chloe had. Fuck what Chloe had that was all an excuse. Total fucking coward. Beca had enjoyed that. Chloe could've done anything to her and she didn't care. As long as she was with Chloe. But that didn't give her a pass to do whatever she wanted back to Chloe. So no buts. Beca did what she did. Couldn't put a name to it. To name it made it real. It already was. Real.

Chloe was giving her nothing.

Cold.

Stacie had been totally wrong.

Beca hadn't even stayed the entire time. Couldn't. Made a fake ass excuse and left early. Not being able to take Chloe not taking any notice, any interest in her. Good or bad. Not being able to take the feeling that Aubrey might actually physically remove her, not having a clue who knew what, eyes all on her, did Aubrey know? Had Chloe told Aubrey everything, if she had she seemingly hadn't passed anything along to Stacie, Stacie was cool with her. As always. But Aubrey, she couldn't get a read on, so yeah big possibility that Aubrey and her may physically throw down at some point, not that Beca was scared of her. Certainly not. She counted on Aubrey not causing a scene, for Chloe's sake, but the possibility was still there, swimming in the pit of her stomach. No not swimming, that's tranquil and relaxing. What she was feeling made her want to be sick. Dread. Aubrey would let her stay in the Bellas cause they needed Beca. Aubrey didn't want her there. But she was needed.

Right?

They all were. They really all did work so well together. Cogs of a machine that when all working in cohesion produced amazing music together. Made Beca feel a part of something more, something bigger than herself. And Beca didn't want to give that up.

Thought she was going to have to.

Certainly was about to when Chloe had paid her no mind.

But then she had returned home.

Alone.

Beca sat at her desk, curled up in her chair, mixing program open. Working, tweaking the set for the Bellas. Never happy with it. Not that it mattered now. The set list was final, they had been rehearsing it and Aubrey wasn't going to incorporate any changes she might make tonight. But still she tweaked. Edited. Pointless. Still surprised that Aubrey had went with her set list, on the condition that Aubrey had final edit, as if it would be any other way. Legs up tight to her chest as she swiped through photo after photo after photo after photo of Chloe on her phone.

Chloe had taken selfie after selfie after selfie.

It must have been when Chloe had what? Went outside for a cigarette, Beca had left her cell phone on the table next to her laptop. Guess Chloe could have swiped it then. Replaced it without her noticing. Clearly.

Beca's chest tightened.

Looking.

Really looking and seeing Chloe.

Chloe had taken ridiculous dorky photographs of herself.

Chloe had taken sultry sexy photographs of herself.

Chloe had a hold of Beca's cell phone at some point that day. And now Beca was holding it.

Beca felt like she was holding Chloe's hand in that instant. Beca felt the touch of Chloe's hand in hers. Then felt a shooting pain as the memory of Chloe's hands straining, pushing. Against her. Came into Beca's mind. She pushed them back. Away. Out.

Focused back in on the images in front of her. In her hand. Now. Chloe.

From that day. Couldn't have been more than a few hours old. Chloe captured. Beautiful photographs of Chloe. By Chloe. For Beca.

Why?

The shit even?

Chloe hated her.

Right?

Right.

Beca felt the ghost of the sting on her face. Chloe's palm.

Yes.

Chloe hated her.

So why?

Why the photographs?

Chloe was who Beca wanted to be with. Too much. Sometimes. Maybe. Fuck no. She couldn't but they could still fuck. But she had blown it. Hadn't she? Fucked up being able to fuck Chloe behind his back. Behind everyone's back. Just the two of them. Who had to know?

Other than Fat Amy somehow thinking she knew shit. And Stacie knowing way too much but Beca needed someone to talk to, and Stacie was just Stacie. You know. And Beca wouldn't hold her relationship with Aubrey against her. Probably for the best. Aubrey would already know fucking everything because of Chloe so Stacie didn't have some other significant other to tell Beca's dark and dirties to. That was a small circle. Controllable. Her dad was never gonna find out off them. Doubted Jesse would either. Wasn't so much worried about that, about Jesse. He was easily controlled. Easily distracted by her. Jesse got what he wanted out of the relationship. Her. Body. Chloe had her mind. Her heart.

Beca swiped over and over all of Chloe's silly faces, sultry faces, stupid and sexy faces, so many. Not enough. Until she ran out of them and she stopped at a photo of her and Jesse. She was smiling in it, he was kissing her cheek. It didn't even look like her. She was happy. Looked happy. Convincingly so. What the shit? Fuck. It twisted at her, her own smile, his lips on her cheek. She swiped back away from it, away from her guilt.

Back to Chloe.

Picture after breathtaking picture of Chloe.

Chloe.

Lips light pink. So cute and girly, hair in light curls around her face, then in another pushed up, hand ran through the curls, silly pout, a pout Beca wanted to kiss, could feel against her lips when she closed her eyes, hazy desire filled memories flooded back, flooding her, eyes opened and Beca saw, focused on Chloe's wrist in the photograph, bruised, by her, marked by her, and she swiped again. Away. Fast. Focused on Chloe's pink sweater and how it matched her lips, made her baby blue's pop and look more angelic than she ever thought possible. Chloe.

That damn red head.

Beca's chest was tight. Breath fighting to inhale. To exhale. How could a creature so so? So? Beca puffed out a breath. Words didn't describe how beautiful she found Chloe.

She couldn't face how much she had hurt, was still hurting Chloe. Fuck her. Chloe hurt her. First. Physically. Emotionally. No. No more fucking excuses. No more buts. They couldn't go on like this. Would there be a them? Anymore?

She stared at one particular photo that Chloe had taken of herself that stood out, somehow against the rest. This one was subdued. She must have passed it before. But now it was all she could focus on. The room around her faded, all she saw was the light from her phone. Was that photo. A simple photograph of Chloe. By Chloe. A small smile played at the corner of Chloe's lips. Eyes somehow looking directly into Becas, she could almost read Chloe's mind in that photo, dark. There was deep darkness in Chloe's eyes but her eyes shone bright and hid it, but Beca could see through the photo, see Chloe's eyes as if they were really there, in front of her, looking deep into her own. Such! Blue.

Was she the reason for the darkness?

Yes? No?

But the blue of Chloe's eyes hid the darkness well enough. Hid it for those not looking. Beca was. Beca was really looking. Studying. Every fleck. Blue.

Blue. Blue was too common a word. There wasn't a word, a color named already that could describe Chloe's eyes. So blue would have to suffice. Blue.

What made the happiest brightest sunshine of a person she knew, had ever known, have such darkness?

She hoped it wasn't her. Not all her. No. That pain ran deeper than Beca. Longer. Than what Beca knew she had put her through. She wasn't responsible for that darkness. Not all of it. Maybe the dark circles. Fuck maybe. Yes, she was responsible for those.

Beca let her eyes roam over Chloe's face. The scar on her forehead. She focused there. Had always known it was there but never really took notice. What was the story there? Beca needed to know. Wanted to know everything about Chloe. Everything she had done before Beca had met her. Fuck, Beca had always wanted that. Wanted to be a part of Chloe's life and know every little detail about her. What made Chloe Chloe?

But Beca had lied to herself. She knows she had. Over and over. Tried. Failed. To take emotions out of the equation. Out of her and Chloe. Chloe could just be there to fuck. And make her feel fucking amazing. All physical. Tried to tell herself they could fuck and then she could move on. But life wasn't that fucking easy. Beca wanted more. Wanted Chloe. All in.

Beca wished she had known her longer. Had never met her. What would a Chloe filled life have been like? What would Beca have been like now if she had known Chloe since they were children like she suspected, and because of facebook, was proven right that Chloe and Aubrey had, finding old photos of Chloe and Aubrey on the site. Year after year. Growing up. Together.

Wished she had been a part of that. Of Chloe's life. Wished she could be now. Why had Chloe done this? Why seeing them make her feel? So much.

Beca was trying. Trying. Guess she had been for a long time. Analysing. Herself. Her own attraction. To figure out what made her feel this way. What was this way? In the simplest term, the most convenient definition. Love. In love. What about Chloe did it for her? Chloe's eyes were just eyes. Right. Like everyone had them. What made Chloe's eyes make Beca's insides jolt? Heart beat fast. Heart stop. Hands clammy. Nervous. Nervous to see her. Always want to be with her. Chloe's nose. What the fuck, like fucking everyone has a nose, it's just a nose but like it wasn't. It was Chloe's. And the way it crinkled. Too cute. Like noses crinkle but not as cute as Chloe's. How was a nose cute? You use it to smell. To breathe. But Beca felt like Chloe's was put there for her. Only. Cute probably wasn't the right word for how Chloe's nose or her eyes looked when Chloe was going down on Beca, sexy as absolute fuck didn't cover it either. But it was closer. Chloe's nose was there for her. For Beca to rub her own against as they kiss. For Beca to feel a rush of air out of as Chloe loses her breath because of Beca as they kiss. And Beca would kiss Chloe again. It might not be soon, now wouldn't be soon enough but she would. She couldn't have their last kiss be poisoned with Chloe sobbing into her mouth, with Chloe telling Beca how much she hated her. She would kiss her again. And have Chloe tell her she is in love with her. No. That was wrong. She shouldn't be messing. Not with a persons emotions like that not when she doesn't know what she wants. She wants Chloe but she doesn't want her all in. All the way. She doesn't. She doesn't. She does. Fuck! those lips. She needed to kiss them again. And again. And again. And feel them on her. All over her. Sucking and bruising at her flesh. Kissing up her legs. Inside of her thighs. Those lips. Lips. Just something you use to talk with. Eat with. Kiss with. Kiss her with. It was where Chloe's tongue was and where Becas tongue had been. Would be again. Why did touching and massaging her tongue with Chloe's make her feel fucking so? High? So? Light headed? So fucking good. Chloe using her tongue anywhere on Beca made all the pain worth it. Right. Did it? Did it though? Was the way Chloe made her feel, physically, worth hurting Chloe? Hurting herself? Life would be easier without her, right? Yeah. Yeah it would. Boring though. Could Beca live without Chloe? It was only sex. Sex. Temporary. A temporary high. That brought with it permanent lows. Chloe would just be a memory, right? A repressed memory once Beca is living the life she wants out in Los Angeles. Once Barden is faded into the past. Tomorrow is not today. Just fucking sex. Chloe was just sex. Beca didn't see anything with Chloe beyond that, damn it, fuck it, Beca wasn't interested in Chloe for anything other than sex. She wasn't even interested in that, sex with Chloe, any more. Dammit. Repeat a lie. Fuck that, Mitchell. Beca was in no way interested in why Chloe had that scar on her forehead. Didn't give two shits. Nope didn't want to know anything about Chloe except before she even realised it she had pressed the home button and had opened her inbox and was typing a message. And received a reply almost immediately.

**Chloe - Fuck you**

**Beca - Please I'm sorry I just wanna know**

**Chloe - For what? Beca. You're sorry for what? Exactly.**

**Beca - Everything.**

**Chloe - I said "Exactly." What are you sorry about? Exactly. I'm sick of your lies. I'm sick of empty hollow words. You make me feel worthless.**

**Beca - Please I'm sorry I'm sorry I met you no that you met me, I'm sorry you ever met me that we ever kissed I'm sorry you let me in and that I let you into my heart**

**Chloe - Bullshit. Beca just words. Fuck off.**

**Beca - Please Beale please can I come see you**

**Chloe - What?! No!**

**Beca - We can just talk we need to talk please I need to see you I just want to know**

**Chloe - If I knew what we were. We just fucking? We're not even friends. Right? If you were my girlfriend and not his. I would share with you everything about me but I don't even know you. Don't think I want to either. No fuck I don't. I really don't. It doesn't matter what I feel for you, that I'm in love with you because one day I'll figure out how to shut it off. And then you won't be able to hurt me any more and since you clearly can't figure out what you want, I'm telling you what I want. You. To leave me alone. Fuck you. And fuck off. Out my life.**

Beca read and re-read Chloe's reply over and over and over and over.

All Beca could see glaring out at her, the words that Chloe was in love with her.

In love.

Beca's heart pounded so much it physically hurt.

Beca stared into her screen until it was a blur. And couldn't see the words 'in love' any more. Didn't need to. They were burnt into the backs of her eye lids. Chloe was in love with her.

Chloe was right about everything else.

Completely.

She wasn't anything to Chloe. Couldn't be. It made Beca so disappointed because she couldn't call Chloe out on any of it.

And then she was calling Chloe.

Beca heard a sigh.

"What?"

"...Beale..." Beca couldn't breathe. Searched for the words. Didn't know what words she was searching for. Mind blank. "...umm... hey?..."

"Hey? Wh-" Beca heard a small laugh, bitter, no humour behind it. "What do you want Bec?"

Silence. Why had Beca rang her? Beca had done it on automatic. And then the words tumbled out of her mouth. Fast.

"Iwannaknowhowyougotyourscar?"

"Fuck you to even ask me that. Why do you think I owe you-how dare!" Beca heard Chloe shuddered breaths, "I don't owe you shit! Bec why should I share anything, any part of me... all you do is make me miserable, no no that's shit fuck darn it that's..." Beca heard Chloe sigh. Take a few long steady breaths. "...no that's not true, not being with you makes me miserable, knowing you're with him makes me miserable-"

"-I'm not-"

"-I'm so... done, I wanna be done with you I want you out my life, I want you, I just hate that I love-I need to be done with you I'm so close... I'm so close to-"

"-But you're-you're not though... right?" Silence. "Right Beale?" More silence. "Beale please I-I think, No, I know I- fuck all I do is hurt you... all I've... ever done since we first met... is hurt you, that's why I practically, I ran away from you that first day... I saw how every thing I said was hurting some... light?... inside of you and if- if I never went to… I would never have met you and- and you'd be happy, happy without me... in your life, but-but I want to be the person to make you happy, I do, I really fucking do, Beale cause see you-you're-you're what makes me happy...fuck!... I'm... in love with you... too-." Beca rubbed a hand over her eyes. She wanted to put all the words back in her mouth. No, she didn't. She wanted Chloe to fill the silence that was stretching out from the last words she spoke. She would stand or fall behind those words depending on what Chloe's response was. If Chloe would only respond. "Fuck!... Beale... Say something!" Nothing. "I'm in..." Beca's voice was thick. Broke over her words. "love with you-"

"-All you do, all you've ever done is mess me around-is hurt me... How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Beale?" Silence. Long. Beca knew Chloe was waiting for an actual answer. An answer that Beca didn't have. "Beale I just I just told you... I'm in-"

"-I heard you. Okay? Are you still... Bec are you still with him?..."

"...What?... What I-I tell you that I'm in love with you and that's it, that's what you say?"

"...Is that a yes?..."

"...No…?" Chloe heard the uncertainty in Beca's voice. Hated that Beca was almost certainly lying to her, and hated more that a part of her almost didn't care. But she did. She wasn't going to be the other woman. If Beca was with him, then she would have to be with him, only. It didn't matter that she wanted Beca. She wouldn't act on that shit any more. She could be strong. Strong like an Amazon.

"Bec... please tell me... please just tell me the truth..."

"I-I'm not I mean I am I-" Chloe hung up as Beca was still speaking. "-I don't see how... Fuck!"


	28. Chapter 28

"Beale? Wha-what are you-how-"

"-Shut it, just-just let me talk." Chloe bristled past her. Wanted to push past, bump Beca's shoulder, hard. Beca stepped aside. Allowing Chloe in. Into Beca's apartment. Chloe had been dying to go over, every one else had when Beca had moved in but her, she had just needed to be there, alone with Beca, but now? Now she wasn't so sure. And yeah. Sure yeah it had felt good, no great, no not that either, satisfying? Yeah satisfying to hang up on Beca, but she still had to know. Chloe had to know for darn certain if Beca had lied to her. Again. Another strike. If Beca wasn't then maybe, a slither of a maybe Chloe could. No Chloe knew she would forgive Beca. Everything. Forgive Beca what should never be forgiven. Beca had hurt her because she wanted to be with her. Beca wanted her. She wanted Beca. Fuck what anyone else thought. It was her life. Could be theirs. Could. Darn it they could still make it work. No they could never. Chloe knew that but she still wants to. Try. If Beca was honest with her. If Beca was open with her. Out for her. Maybe. Just maybe. Chloe had to know. Either way.

"How did you-"

"-Stacie. Now shut it and let me talk." Chloe walked past her couch, an image of Jesse and Beca making out on it flashed in her mind as she went straight to the kitchen, leant back against the edge of the bench. She looked around to see if Jesse was there. If any trace of him was in Beca's apartment. Were they over? Beca and Jesse. Or were they over? Beca and Chloe? Could Beca and her be together? Like really together together, Beca had told her she was in love with her. Was that a lie? Was it worth anything? Was anything Beca told her worth anything? Did she even care? She already felt happier being in the same room as Beca. Chloe hated herself for driving over there. Had hated the way her voice had sounded, a plead, pathetic as she had asked Stacie where Beca's place was.

"Sure okay." Beca wanted to sit, move them over to the couch, wanted them both to sit, but felt like a stranger in her own home. She stood, awkward, in front of Chloe. Skin tingling. Not knowing what she was meant to do. Beca wanted to go over to Chloe. Wanted to touch her. Cup her face, light, kiss her, gently. Kiss an apology into Chloe. So fucking couldn't. "Beale whatever," A nervous smile. Hugged herself. Wanted to reach out. Touch Chloe. Knew she couldn't. But all she wanted was to touch her. Felt her fingers tingle with the ghost of the memory of Chloe's skin, Chloe's hands in hers. Against hers. Felt like. No knew she had no right to touch Chloe. Never did. "...whatever you want-"

"-Just shut up..." Chloe shook her head, eyes tight. Tried to figure out what she wanted to say. Everything she had went over and over in her mind on the drive there just, pft! Gone. Once she was there. Once she was alone with Beca. She didn't want to be alone with Beca. Right? She really thought Jesse would be there. Jesse would be there, and she would. Would what? She would have told him everything. Then Beca would have had to face it. Face him. Face her. Face herself. Beca would have to make a decision. But he wasn't. Her and Beca were alone. And Beca could barely look at her. "... Okay just shut up... I got-I fucking got," the words came out with venom, "my scar..." Chloe looked up, Beca still couldn't look at her. She waited. Waited. Until Beca's eyes looked up. Quick. Found hers. And stayed. "...I got my scar the day I lost my entire family." Chloe blinked slowly. Watched as Beca's eyes flickered all around her face but never left it. Watched as Beca's brows knotted, her mouth fell open slightly. "You wanna know more... Mitchell?"

"Chlo..." Beca didn't have a fucking clue what to say.

"Huh Bec wanna know about the sad history of Chloe Beale?"

"Fuck," Beca wanted to embrace Chloe, hold her and tell her everything would work out and she would always be there for her and thought that was probably what Aubrey had done time and time again for Chloe and she would never be Aubrey to Chloe. She was Beca, and she had fucked up Chloe's life, and it already was fucked up, isn't everyone's, in their own way, so why couldn't she have been there for Chloe to make her life better instead of making it worse. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Shut it," Chloe couldn't take the pity in Beca's eyes, looked away, she saw the Treble jacket on the back of a chair. Jesse's Treble jacket. But still no Jesse. "...Why did I even come here?" Chloe knew exactly why she had went there. But still no Jesse. "I'm so... I'm so stupid." What was she going to do, to say if he had of been there? And he had been there. Shit, were him and Beca living together now? Chloe walked past Beca. Held in tears. She wouldn't cry. Held them in at least until she was back in her car. She was strong enough to do that. She was. She hoped Beca wouldn't come after her. Reach after her. Kinda wanted her to. Really wanted Beca to. Had to be stronger. Wasn't sure what she would do if Beca did.

"Please..." Chloe opened the front door back up. "Beale please wait..."

"Fuck you Beca."

"Please don't-"

Chloe slammed the door behind her.

* * *

 

"Hey Chloe..." Chloe was curled up on the couch, nature documentary about sloth's on the television, as Aubrey descended the stairs. Chloe didn't even look up, away from the television as Aubrey walked around and stood beside the couch. "...you just get in?"

"Yeah, umm, Bree, can... umm just leave me... alone, please?"

"Nope," Aubrey sat down on the arm of the couch. Hand on her hip. "Chlobear come on," Her other hand she played at Chloe's hair. Idly. Stroked light. Chloe fought her eyes to stay open, fought the memory of Aubrey, of her and Aubrey, of her curled up into Aubrey and the only way she could fall asleep was when Aubrey played with her hair, calmed her into a slumber. "I'm taking you out."

"Oh so is like... Stacie at the lab late tonight so I'm here to amuse you, funny little Chlobear, with her Beca problems."

"Stop that."

"Fine. Whatever Bree wants."

* * *

 

Beca rolled her eyes. Not in a sarcastic way. In a I-don't-want-to-cry-and-I'm-fighting-it way. A battle. She would not cry over this. Over him. She blew out a breath. And shuddered as she sucked another one in. Slow.

Jesse had woken her when he had gotten in. She had fallen asleep in bed, fully clothed, her laptop open beside her, the only light illuminating the room from the screen, mixing program still open when he had came in. Yes he had a key to her place. No he hadn't moved in.

But he wanted to. Hadn't said so out right. But he had hinted. Enough.

He was in deep.

Jesse had said those words. Why? Out of like nowhere. He had returned from the hanging out with the Trebles at the bar after work, he was a little tipsy. Maybe a little more than that and he had said those words. Words that she never even briefly or not would entertain would come out his mouth. He was a place holder. He was a distraction. He just was.

She sat up in bed, he sat on the end of it.

Crawled up to meet her, up beside her at the top of the bed.

Why the fuck? How the fuck did this happen? Did it get to him being as deep into her as much as she was into Chloe?

"Bec, I said I'm in love with you and you're not… saying anything. Which is cool, fine, I'm cool and fine with that. You don't need to say anything." Jesse brought her into a hug, her arms close to her sides, hands firmly in her lap. "I'm good." He spoke softly into her hair. She tried to relax in his arms. "I'm cool." She moved. Awkward. Her arms came up, hands grasped at his neck, a smile as she kissed him. Beca moved. Awkward. Clambered over him. "I'm certainly cool with this."

Her hair fell over, she raked it back, fingers threaded through her own hair, out her face, off him.

He kissed her.

No she kissed him.

They were close at the hips, but the rest of their bodies were far apart.

His hands on her sides.

Her hands still in her own hair.

She lifted her hips up at the feeling of him.

Hard.

Jesse took that as a good thing.

If Beca couldn't tell him. She could show him.

His hands went from her sides to his belt.

Beca's eyes closed.

The room dark.

Not dark enough.

All she could hear was the sound of the belt buckle.

His belt buckle, then a zip.

His zip.

Her zip.

Then Beca was on her back, and it's all going too fast.

Not fast enough.

And her jeans are pulled.

Down.

Not off.

Just enough.

And his are still on. Coarse against her skin as he moves on top of her.

Panties still on.

Jesse pulled himself out his jeans, his boxers and he's hard.

He stroked himself.

Looked down at himself.

Briefly up at her.

A glance at her face.

Then down.

His eyes tried to focus.

On himself.

Focus in on her panties.

Only the material was between them.

Between skin on skin.

Hers. His.

His. Hers.

Her panties are all that lie in between.

And then they too are pulled.

Away.

Down.

Not off.

Just enough.

And all Beca could hear was his breathing.

And then there's a pressure.

And he's inside her.

* * *

 

"Where are you?!" Aubrey shouted down her phone. She heard Chloe sigh, could practically hear her roll her eyes, Chloe didn't roll her eyes, too much time with Beca, that's what that was. She wished she had never set eyes on Beca. Wished Chloe had never set eyes on her. "Tell me where you are, Chloe?" Fuck, had Chloe took off and drove over to Beca's? Drunk? "I came back from the bar. And you were gone. Chloe?!"

"I'm just down the street grabbing a pack of smokes. God!"

"Just get back here. Okay." Stated. Not asked. "I'll be waiting outside."

A dial tone. Aubrey breathed hard into her phone as Chloe hung up on her. Chloe never hung up on her. What the shit?

* * *

 

"Like you really care?"

"Chloe?" Aubrey reached forward. After her. Confused. Hurt.

"You've got Stacie." Chloe marched away from her. A tornado of emotion Aubrey saw in Chloe's bunched shoulders and tight fists. "Just go!"

"What just Chlo-please-please stop... don't Chloe please come back..."

"...leave me." Chloe looked back, quick, over her shoulder. "Alone. I'm fine without you."

"No..." Aubrey's voice was small. Made Chloe stop. Turn. She hadn't heard Aubrey sound so? So gentle, so caring for a long time. A long time that she had been storing away in her memory warehouse and trying to lock the door on. "Please..." Chloe stopped. Waited as Aubrey caught up to her. Quick. Long strides. Aubrey reached out. Hand hovered over Chloe's shoulder. So close but air between them. Aubrey looked down. Did she see? No. It was dark. Just a shadow on Chloe's neck. "Please can we just talk... please Chloe?"

"Bree go." Chloe inhaled slowly. Exhaled slowly. "Away."

Aubrey was shocked. This wasn't Chloe. Not her Chloe. Chloe doted over her. Chloe never had a bad word to say to her, or about anyone else. Never a harsh look towards her. Always there. Always a smile. Chloe didn't turn around. Chloe didn't fall into Aubrey's arms. Not this time. Chloe walked towards her car. Walked away. From Aubrey.

"You don't mean that… Can't we just have a good night out, no drama."

"Fuck you!" Chloe turned. Aubrey stopped in her tracks when she saw the tears in Chloe's eyes. "My shit with Beca isn't 'drama' it's my life Bree." Chloe marched up to her like a storm. "So yeah." Chloe looked up into Aubrey's eyes. Fire. Rage behind Chloe's eyes. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me? I've always been here for you, always-"

"-Christmas?"

"...I-I... don't I-I don't..."

"...What was... what even happened?"

"I just I don't I don't know okay I just don't... Stacie just... I just-don't push me away Chloe please I-I need you."

"You?" A cruel laugh. "Don't give me that shit Bree! You don't. I need you and-and you know," Chloe exhaled. Rolled her eyes. Aubrey saw Beca in that roll of Chloe's eyes. Hated it. She was sick of seeing Beca's mannerisms creep into Chloe. "Bree you know that! You just know... fuck you know... and you play...you... Bree you-you know I would do anything," Chloe was sick of being Aubrey's downtime. "fucking anything for you and... you-you use that," Aubrey couldn't look at Chloe any more. She looked down. Dirty ground. Wished she could take back the past few months, be there for her like she had vowed to. Failed to. "Bree you...use me."

Chloe took another step, completely in Aubrey's space. Now her space. She claimed. Her head high, chest out, trying to look as big and intimidating as Chloe could get. Got up in Aubrey's face. Then bravado washed away. Washed away by that face. Aubrey. That face that was always there for her. Then they had started to grow up. Together. But then even whilst attending the same college. Living the same life. Life was getting in the way. Pushing them apart. Chloe's pain was diffused by Aubrey's small pout. Washed away by Aubrey's concerned eyes. Aubrey knocked the wind out of her sails. Aubrey kicked out the fire.

"...Don't say that..."

"That's not a denial."

"...Please..."

Aubrey.

Her constant.

"I miss you Bree."

"I miss you too." Aubrey whispered into the crisp air as Chloe moved a step closer, touched Aubrey's arm, light. Goosebumps rose to meet Chloe's fingers. Aubrey told herself it was just the chill in the air.

"Yeah?" Chloe asked, almost hesitant. Aubrey nodded, Chloe took a final step. No more space between them. Aubrey's breath caught in her throat. This wasn't her Chloe. Chloe was never like this with her. "Yeah." Chloe spoke firmer, a small smile. Confidence dripping into her blood, and pumping through her entire being. Chloe's hand travelled up Aubrey's arm, until she cradled her jaw. Aubrey didn't pull away. Aubrey didn't lean in. She just was.

Aubrey's hand travelled up Chloe's arm. Until she had her fingers wrapped around her wrist. Aubrey felt Chloe's fingers flex, small, against her cheek. Aubrey brushed her thumb over the small of Chloe's palm. Eyes dipped down. Not a shadow. Certainly not.

"Chloe?" Aubrey brought Chloe's wrist into focus through her hazy vision. "What..." Aubrey's throat was thick. Instantly tears burned behind her eyes. Not this. Not again. "Chloe...?"

"What? Oh no, Bree. I'm-I'm not." Chloe pulled her hand out of Aubrey's light hold. Easy. Chloe held her wrist in her other hand, pushed how nervous she suddenly felt down. Away. Returned her hand to Aubrey's cheek. Looked up but not into Aubrey's eyes. That was too much. She looked at Aubrey's lips. That was even worse.

"Then what?" Aubrey studied Chloe. Saw the mark she thought she had seen earlier on Chloe's neck. Close up. "And this?" Aubrey touched Chloe's neck, down her shoulder. Light. "What? Is this... is this her? The shit?" Chloe shrugged. Tried to act like it was nothing. "Chloe please," Aubrey took Chloe's other arm in her hands. Revealed her wrist. Red lines. Bruises. "What is this?"

"We... she-we got a little... just a little... rough?"

"Chloe? This isn't... Fuck! Beca... I'll-I'll fucking-"

"-No-"

"-kill her-"

"-You won't do anything."

"But look at you! Look at the state of... Chloe I'll-"

"You won't. Bree, please, you won't do or say anything... please?"

"This isn't you, what? You're defending her? Chloe this isn't you."

"Maybe, maybe it is..." Chloe leant in. A centimetre. Away. Her lips from Aubrey's. "Is this me?"

"Don't." Aubrey's eyes closed slowly. Not knowing what was next. What her next move might be? What Chloe's next move might be? This Chloe was new to her. "...Please... don't."

"I can't win." Chloe stepped away, turned her back to Aubrey. Aubrey breathed again. Opened her eyes. "Why couldn't we have…"

"Chloe please please don't." Chloe pulled out her cigarette's, lit one. Inhaled. Exhaled. Aubrey watched the smoke curl above her head before turning back to face Aubrey.

"Why did," Chloe bit her lip, looked at Aubrey's lips again. "...what was that night all about?" Chloe let her lip go. Her eyes remained on Aubrey's lips. "The one we just," Chloe swallowed. Thickly. "never acknowledge..." Chloe's tongue swept over her lower lip. "ever happened. You," A draw on her cigarette. "Me." Chloe exhaled. Looked up into Aubrey's eyes. Aubrey's eyes were on Chloe's mouth. "Stacie."

"Don't." Aubrey's eyes flicked up, fire burned now in hers as she glared at Chloe. " Don't say her name…"

"Oh I could kiss her... but now I…" Chloe stepped back into Aubrey's space. Close. Looked up at her. Aubrey folded her arms. Trying to create a barrier. Between herself and what she wanted to do. Between the actions playing out in her head and actually doing them. "...can't say her name? Stacie."

"Fuck I was drunk... I dunno..."

"Like you are now?"

Chloe tilted her head and kissed Aubrey's jaw. Slow. She needed to feel. Aubrey always made her feel. She needed to feel happy.

Aubrey kept in a moan. This wasn't happening. Couldn't. She didn't want this. But it's Chloe. It's her fucking Chloe. Chloe who had wanted this. Them. And she didn't. Hadn't. Until now? No. Chloe was hers just not hers. Not like that. If they were going to work that would have happened a long time ago. Right? But they never did try, they were always just there for each other when the other needed it. When both needed it. And it didn't extend beyond that. Right? She loved Chloe but wasn't in love with her. There's a big fucking difference. Then why isn't she stopping this, Aubrey's enjoying and hating the feeling of Chloe's lips on her. Move away, she screamed at herself in her mind, shouted for her to push Chloe away. She could never do that. Chloe was hers. Whatever that meant.

"Chloe..."

"I miss..." Chloe moved her free hand over and down Aubrey's dress, breast in her hand. A small squeeze.

A moan escaped Aubrey. Aubrey couldn't breathe. Chloe was acting like what she would act like with Chloe. Aubrey would claim. Chloe would be willingly hers. Whenever she wanted. Aubrey would be Chloe's when Chloe needed it. Chloe would always let her. Now she was letting Chloe. Now wasn't the time to be letting Chloe. She would always let Chloe. Chloe would always let her. They just always were. No matter what or who. Chloe. Aubrey. Together.

"Chloe..." Chloe pulled away, looked at Aubrey's mouth. Lips. Parted. Then Aubrey drew her bottom lip in. Bit Down. Watched as Chloe inhaled smoke again, blew it to the side of Aubrey's face. Aubrey took the cigarette out of Chloe's hand, took a draw herself. Deep. Blew it to the side of Chloe's head, then flicked the cigarette down the ally. Chloe stepped back into Aubrey's space, one hand placed light on Aubrey's waist, head titled and looked into Aubrey's eyes, they stared at each other. Daring. Pushing down. Pushing away their desire. Trying to. Aubrey was trying to. Always good at keeping her shit in check. But it's Chloe. Chloe unlocked every door inside her. Chloe smirked, knowing the battle was over when Aubrey's eyes flicked down from her eyes and lingered at her mouth. Chloe leant back in. Kissed. Aubrey's neck. Slow. Until Chloe's breath hit Aubrey's ear. Aubrey shivered. Not from Chloe's kisses. Dammit. Just the cold air. Not Chloe. Fuck Chloe. "...Stop."

"Make me."


	29. Chapter 29

**Aubrey - come pick me up**

**Stacie - a please would be nice**

**Aubrey - please xxxx**

**Stacie - and a destination**

* * *

 

"Yeah umm great night..." Aubrey muttered, as she looked up, into Stacie's review mirror and saw Chloe in the back. Was that smirk really on Chloe's face or was she just imaging it? Aubrey used to love that smirk. Fuck, maybe she still did. Of course she still did. It's Chloe.

"Great."

"Yeah great." Aubrey nodded. Wished she hadn't. The slight movement made her head spin and her stomach churn.

"My night too, most of the Bellas turned up, great to see you're night out was more important than," Aubrey closed her eyes tight. Head spinning. Wishing she had just rang a cab. Wishing she had remembered Stacie's big night. How the utter fuck had she forgotten? No she hadn't forgotten. She was going to go but then she had seen the sad mess of Chloe and knew Chloe needed her. Turned out she was right. "my presentation, it's not like I needed you there or-"

"Shit. Fuck. Stace. I-I-"

"-just forgot?"

"...no?"

"...No? Or just didn't care?"

"...no."

"Whatever I don't wanna talk about it right now," Stacie glanced up at Chloe in the back. Chloe. Some random night out, a few drinks with Chloe was more important to Aubrey than her? She had so much she wanted to say. To both of them. But she needed to process the feeling she was getting off of Chloe. The smirk. Chloe's smirk. "Anything interesting happen? Anything to warrant missing my-"

"-No." Stacie was just asking a simple question, right? So then why did Aubrey feel the accusation behind it. She was just paranoid. Right? Stacie didn't know shit. Right? Stacie was angry at Aubrey missing her big night. Nothing else.

"Chloe?"

"Hmmm?"

"Anything interesting happen tonight?"

"Oh," A small nod. Did Aubrey hear a little giggle from Chloe? Stacie sure did. "...yeah."

"Yeah?" Stacie's eyes met Chloe's through the mirror. Chloe just nodded again, drunken looking smile on her face, as she turned her head and stared out the window. Smile still on her face. No not smile. Smirk.

"No." Aubrey said firmly beside her. Stacie glanced at Aubrey, watched Aubrey's eyes big. Staring. Ahead at the road, as her beams hit the white lines as they drove home. "Nothing... just a few quiet drinks."

"Yeah, no, totally," Chloe giggled, low, in the back. "Nothing. At all interesting."

Aubrey wanted Chloe to shut up. Aubrey wanted that look to fade from Stacie's eyes. Aubrey wanted to not be here. With both of them.

Chloe wanted to feel. Something. Other than dirty. Wanted to feel happy. Buzzed. Wanted Beca. No Aubrey. No Beca.

Stacie wanted to wipe the smirk off of Chloe's face.

* * *

 

Stacie woke, felt for Aubrey in the bed. Their bed. Empty. They had gotten home and Aubrey had passed out on the couch in the front room whilst Stacie had been in the kitchen making Aubrey some coffee to sober her up. Stacie had left her there. Thought Aubrey would wake and follow her up in her own time. Thought Aubrey would wake her and they would argue and-and what? Stacie would find out, get it out of Aubrey her suspicion. Shit she didn't even want to go there. In her mind. Think about all she could think about. That Aubrey was still in love with Chloe. Or fuck? Was always in love with Chloe. Or loved Chloe. Did love Chloe. And whatever her and Aubrey had would never compare to Aubrey's long history with Chloe. That if Aubrey was given the choice, she wouldn't make the cut. Fuck. This. Her and Aubrey was meant to be simple. Fun. For now. Not this? When did it get to this. Complicated and honestly? No longer fun.

Stacie glanced at the clock on the night stand. Red light. Hurt her eyes. It was 5:06 am. She couldn't remember falling asleep. Just remembers being in bed. Alone. Waiting for Aubrey. Refusing to go down and wake her and bring her up.

Stacie sat up, listened, hard. The house was quiet. Waited. Composed herself. Ready to face Aubrey. But when she went downstairs to the front room, Aubrey just wasn't there.

Stacie pushed the thought that Aubrey had went to Chloe's room out of her mind.

Stacie checked the key rack by the front door.

Surely enough Aubrey's car keys were gone.

Stacie threw on some sweats, a hoody of Aubrey's, slinked into her uggs, threw her glasses on and drove to where she knew Aubrey would be.

* * *

 

"Hey Stace..."

Aubrey spoke into the darkness. The air cold. Before Stacie even spoke. She just felt her there, on top of the library with her.

The early morning breeze was freezing. Aubrey enjoyed the icy stabs of cold air hitting her, cutting into her. To the bone. She deserved the pain. What the shit had she done? To Stacie. Aubrey had the words on the tip of her tongue, her confession, but Stacie was the only good steady normal thing in her life, she wasn't going to throw that, throw Stacie away because of Chloe. And shit, yeah it was Chloe. But it was Chloe's fault. Not hers. She wasn't going to fuck up her relationship with Stacie because Chloe's and Beca's was fucked up. Fuck. That shit. So she swallowed her confession, it choked her. But at least it stayed inside. Her.

Stacie sat down beside Aubrey, waited for Aubrey to relax. Waited until Aubrey laid her head down against her shoulder before turning a little, turning and enveloping her in a hug. She felt Aubrey stiffen. Then relax into it. But not return it, instead Aubrey's hands remained in her lap. Folded. Hands rubbing over each other. Trying to warm? Or a sure sign of nervousness? Stacie was angry, but she was keeping that under wraps. Had to. She had no actual evidence of anything going down between Aubrey and Chloe. But every molecule in her body was telling her that it was. Had. Every voice inside Stacie's head was telling her to run like mad. Away. She needed to give Aubrey the chance to be honest with her. Stacie just didn't know what she would do if Aubrey wasn't. Or if Aubrey was and all her suspicions were proven correct. Stacie placed a kiss on top of Aubrey's head. Long. Breathed in the smell of honey that lingered from Aubrey's shampoo. That smell was happiness. Aubrey.

"Aub..."

"Are we okay?"

"I..."

"Stace... we're good? Right?"

"I... Aub, I..."

"We're good. Right."

"I don't know."

* * *

 

"I need to see you..."

Chloe whispered down the phone. She wasn't sure if Beca had heard her. She hung up before she found out. Beca knew where she was. If she wanted to see her too. Beca did, Beca needed her too. Chloe knew it. She had heard Aubrey leave a half hour ago. Had wanted to go after her.

Stacie had.

It wasn't Chloe's place to go after and see if. If? Make sure Aubrey was okay. Not now. Not any more. Not when she was most likely the reason Aubrey had taken off. Not when she was most likely the reason why Aubrey was not okay.

Chloe knows that, maybe, yeah like totally that should kill her, making Aubrey miserable, but it, darn it, it just doesn't.

If she can't be the one to ever be good enough for Aubrey then at least she's getting a reaction from her. Even if that is a negative one. A reactions still a reaction.

Chloe just wanted to be someone's number one.

For once.

Maybe she could be good enough for Beca.

Be Beca's number one.

Priority.

Tonight would tell.

Tonight she had to know. Was Beca still with Jesse? Or did Beca want to be with her?

No.

Beca did want to be with her. She knows that.

Would Beca be with her? Only.

Fuck she just had to know had to see Beca had to this was the last really it fucking was the last strike she had to just fucking see Beca and know just fucking know sick of thoughts screaming in her head and not being able to do any fucking thing about any of it about Beca and thinking of nothing but Beca and she had to just know just know so she could move forward with or without Beca mind racing keeping her up all hours so she smoked and lay in the darkness and waited for the inevitable cause she knew Chloe knew that Beca would turn up and then she would know she would know if Beca was hers and if she was Becas and that would probably come after Beca would cum but she didn't want that no she did no she wanted Beca needed Beca to make her cum and if Beca was still with her wanted her after that then she could they could move forward.

Together.

Chloe couldn't sleep.

Alone.

* * *

 

What?

Beca squinted at the light from her cell phone.

Had Chloe just rang her?

Chloe hated her though.

Right?

She had heard Chloe's voice bringing her out of her slumber.

Hadn't she?

She had heard Chloe asking to see her.

Right?

She went to her call list.

Yes.

That just happened. It was like gone five. What the fuck?

She looked over, Jesse, asleep beside her.

Beca moved slow, got dressed, checked again. He was still asleep.

She took his car keys from the table by her front door.

Left.

* * *

 

"Back in '96, sometimes I sit and reminisce. Took the train to Hoboken, I didn't know it then, but that is when I found my place outside this so-called structured life..."

Chloe's door was open when Beca came to be standing outside it. Beca heard the low music playing.

"...Married to my only love and music is my wife..."

Beca listened and heard only the music. Nothing more.

Beca felt suspended in mid air. Smelt Chloe's room from the outside.

Green.

Limp.

Numb.

Tired.

She knocked gently, calling out Chloe's name in question. She was granted access. Begrudgingly in tone. But allowed. Had Chloe changed her mind? She had been the one to call. Initiate. Chloe wanted her there. No that wasn't it. Not want. Need.

Beca heard Chloe's voice waking her up out of her sleep. An echo. I need to see you. I need to see you. Played over and over in Beca's mind.

Chloe looked up from where she lay in bed, turned over onto her back. She pulled a little at the Jersey she wore. Feeling naked underneath Beca's gaze. Her eyes moved up and down between Beca's eyes and mouth. Becas mouth hung open, moving slightly, as if she had a million words on her lips to say to Chloe but nothing came out. Chloe's eyes closed slowly. Her impatience with Beca growing, she let out a slow yet shaky breath.

Chloe had questions, lots she wanted to say to Beca but words were failing her too. Her ear drifted to the music still playing, comforting, an old favourite, the kind of album you could just put on, leave and drift away to each and every song to. "And now I'm feeling like I'm stuck in slow motion again but all I've got is time, running around in circles just to find that peace of mind and you know, I'm gonna get what's mine" Each track made Chloe feel nostalgic for her youth, when she didn't really get the lyrics to the songs but felt that once she was older she would be able to relate, but now. Older. She wanted the ease of her pre-teen years back. To not understand complex emotions any more. For her days to be long and summers endless. Where life was so many possibilities just waiting to be explored. Waiting to be lived.

Beca walked forward. Slow. Pulled into the familiar room, closing the door behind her with a pop. Without looking back. Without being able to take her eyes off Chloe's thighs, knees, legs, ankles, feet. Seeing Chloe's panties, powder pink like her sweater had been in those photographs, photographs that Beca couldn't delete, as Chloe turned over on the bed. Chloe had called her. She had chose to wear only the baseball top. Light blue like her eyes. Not that Beca could look up into Chloe's eyes. She instead stared at the blue of Chloe's top. Focused on the white stitching of 'Carolina' across Chloe's chest. Couldn't look away. If she looked up, no, no she would be drawn in by Chloe's eyes and all Beca would want to do is kiss her and she couldn't right? she couldn't, not any more, if she looked to one side or the other she knew she would see the marks she had left on Chloe's wrists, if she looked down, she would see everything she wanted. Was there for. Chloe knew that. Right? Wore only that, only a jersey, only had that and her panties on, knowing Beca was gonna come over.

Chloe wanted her to look, right?

And so Beca did. Couldn't stop herself any longer. Beca looked down.

Her mouth watered as she looked, and thought about what Chloe would feel like.

Inside.

Taste like.

Beca felt alive.

Chloe made her feel alive.

Beca sat at the foot of Chloe's bed, facing away, hunched, couldn't look at Chloe any more, wanted to run from the room, from Chloe, remembering how good and how bad she felt the last time was there. Knew she would be back. Knew she didn't belong there.

Chloe heard Beca sniff, a sigh.

"I-I'm in... I'm in love with you..."

"Bec...?" Chloe sat up, hesitant, pulling the jersey under her, trying to feel less exposed. What the darn had she been thinking when she had rang Beca. Like really? Beca made her feel nervous in her own home. Her own room. Her own bed. She was drunk but that buzz had started to wear off back even before Stacie had picked her and Aubrey up. And what the shit had she done? Stacie still hadn't returned with Aubrey, and the rest of the house was relatively quiet. She could hear Jessica and Ashley up talking when she had walked by their room from the bathroom a smidge earlier. But she had returned to her room. Feeling more alone than ever, lit one or two up, and rang Beca. She hadn't really been thinking. She had been thinking too much. Mind buzzing keeping herself awake. "Are you…" Her hand burning to touch, to soothe Beca. "Are you crying?" Chloe knew her words had came out harsh. Why? Because how dare Beca come in here and cry. Chloe was the one who needed cared for tonight. So yeah. How dare. Beca had been the cause of all Chloe's tears and now she was the one wanting to soothe Beca? Wanting to rub circles on her back, to stroke Beca's hair off her shoulder and remove all tension there with her fingers. "Are you still with him?"

"No."

Fingers.

Beca's fingers.

Beca's fingers that were now running through her own hair. Fingers that she loved to see work on her music. Stroking over her keyboard. Strumming her guitar. Chloe remembered back to when Beca had turned up and sang to her outside her window. She had seen such a raw side to Beca that night. Had wondered what other music those fingers could play.

Chloe repeated what she wanted to say over and over in her mind. Wanted to ask why Beca had lied. If she had lied? Maybe she wasn't with Jesse any more? Most likely she was. Why Beca said she wasn't with Jesse when she fucking clearly was, she so fucking was, but Chloe wanted to believe, to pretend Beca wasn't because Beca was here, with her and she wanted to avoid an argument. At all costs. She got so little time with Beca she didn't want to spend another second wasting that time. Wasting it not being happy with Beca. Not being together with Beca. So Chloe lied to herself. Told herself that Jesse had just left his Treble jacket at Beca's after they had broken up. That could have happened. Right? Not likely. But it was a possibility. And would be most likely what Beca would tell her had happened if Chloe did bring it up, so why bother? Why bother bringing it up? Why bother talking and arguing when they could be using their mouths on each other instead of against each other?

Chloe was frozen. Beca hadn't replied. Other than another sniff. A small swallow, trying to clear her throat. Trying to hide, that yes, she had been crying. Time became non-existent.

"Okay."

"I'm..." Beca said like it had always been true, so obvious but only now she was really letting herself believe it. "...in love with you..."

"Stop. Stop... telling me."

* * *

 

"Hey Stace..." Aubrey waited for a greeting. None. "So you uh stuck in traffic?" Aubrey waited for a reply. None. "Stace its like after six. Where are-"

"-I'm not coming home."

"...What? Stace baby you-what-where-where are you please baby..."

"I'm... not coming home."

"Baby please just-where are you can I-fuck! Please-"

"-I'm staying at Flo's."

"What? What but you said we're good... right? We're good. Stace baby please can we can I come over can we talk just come home and-"

"-I-I... just... I can't be in the same... I can't be under the same roof as the both of you... right now... okay please just please like respect my decision its just for a couple of days-"

"-days?!"

"Probably yeah... umm okay I need some time..."

"Time? Because we went out together tonight and I missed your-"

"-No. Yes. I-I need time to figure things out, figure us out."

"What? Stace? What do you think happened? We went out and had a few drinks, I know I missed it, I'm sorry but she needed... Chloe needed me."

"Oh I know."

"Stop. I love you. Stace... I love you please come home. Please lets talk about this... whatever you want please just-just come home..."

"I-I I want to I do but I need to be left alone I need space... from you I'm sorry Aub I really I-I really am I just I don't believe you-"

"What Stace?!"

"-and that-that kills me."

"Stace Stace baby please baby I'm coming over there right now-"

"-Don't. I don't want to see you. I don't believe nothing happened tonight. I don't believe there's nothing happening between you and her-"

"She's... fuck you know Chloe's with Beca!"

"And why do you hate Beca so much?"

"What? Fuck her. Fuck them, this is about us."

"Why do you hate Beca?"

"Because she treats Chloe like shit, you have no idea Stace. None. You should see the mess Chloe is in, I want to fucking kill Beca-"

"-No no no you-you hated Beca before her and Chloe ever... why? Why is that?"

"What? What does she have to do with us?"

"You hated Beca from day one. Right? Why is that?"

"Please baby I don't wanna talk about them. Her. This is about us. I want you to come home. Stace I need you to come home."

"Figure out why you hate Beca, figure you and Chloe out, figure everything out, please please don't ring me back, don't contact me until-"

"-What about Regionals?"

"Wh-really?!"

"Yeah really."

"I can't believe you!"

Aubrey heard the dial tone.

Aubrey rang Stacie back.

And back.

And back.

And texts.

Delivered.

Not read.

And texts.

Delivered.

Not read.

And got in her car.


	30. Chapter 30

"-But-but Beale I-fuck-I am I'm so fucking-"

"-Bec stop-"

"-unbelievably it-it fucking scares me so much-"

"-please just fucking-"

"-that... I'm shit I'm-I'm-"

"-please!-"

"-in love with-"

"-Stop!-"

"-Beale-"

"-Stop telling me Bec-"

"-But-"

"-stop. Just stop. Stop fucking telling me."

"...Beale?"

"Show me."

Time for Chloe stopped. As Beca froze. Their eyes locked.

Beca moved.

At Chloe.

Fast.

Time caught up to Chloe.

Quick.

Beca found herself suddenly on top of Chloe. Body moving without thought. No without hindering her thoughts. Letting her thoughts take over her body, letting her thoughts become a reality. Beca loved the way Chloe fell back against her own bed with with a surprised gasp as Beca kissed her neck hard, biting with each kiss and trailing her lips and tongue. Sloppy. She loved the way Chloe tasted. Sickly sweet. Beca bit down again, held the bite. Hard. Moved and bit down again. Hard. Along Chloe's collar bone, her teeth clenching, tightening, harder to hold back, hold in a sob. But it rattled through her, shuddering her ribcage but the sound of pain reverberated through Beca into Chloe.

Chloe's hands that had found their way up scraping at Beca's neck and into Becas hair, dug, twisted, pushed Beca into her, held her closer.

Beca tried to kiss her again but her breath came out, spluttering wet onto Chloe's neck. She bit again. Harder. Rocking her hips into Chloe. Trailing her lips up until she snagged the bottom of Chloe's ear.

"Is this?"

Chloe moaned, her eyes rolling. Lids shutting. Heavy. Pain. Spiking through her body from Beca. Pain. She wanted. Deserved. Loved. At least Beca was making her feel. Something.

"Yes."

"You-" Beca leant back. Looked down, how? How was she back here? How was she so fortunate? "...you sure?"

Chloe snaked her hands around Beca's neck. Brought Beca back. To her.

"Fuck. Yes."

Beca moved. Back. Her lower body. Away. Her lips never leaving Chloe's. As they kissed. Any slice of separate air between them heated. Charged. Chloe pulled on Beca's bottom lip and kept her there. With her. Awkward. As Beca ripped and kicked her own trousers off.

Chloe's hands travelled down Beca's sides, palms flat, feeling every dip and curve, until she had her hands firmly on Beca's waist, pulled her back, flush, pulled her back on top of her and pushed her hand straight down into Beca's panties. Hers.

Beca gasped, rolled her hips. Nothing felt the way Chloe being inside her made her feel.

Nothing.

Nobody.

Chloe's fingers delved straight into her, she wanted Beca in her, but being inside Beca was the greatest feeling. Spurred on by her own need for Beca. Becas gasp and subsequent moan bringing her out of her own need and she removed her fingers from deep within Beca. Chloe still couldn't help stroking over Becas clit as she went to remove her hand. This wasn't happening. Not again. Not like this. Chloe wanted to be wanted. Chloe needed to be needed by Beca.

Chloe needed to feel Beca. Inside her.

Beca moved her hips in time with Chloe fingers on her clit.

"Don't stop." Beca gasped into Chloe's ear. She heard how needy she sounded. Just didn't care right now. It was only her and Chloe. Chloe.

Beca's head fell forward, her forehead rested on Chloe's shoulder. She rolled her head to graze her nose over the underside of Chloe's jaw.

Chloe moved her head to try and meet Beca's lips. Barely. They did. One awkward open mouthed kiss. Chloe tilted to gain better access to Beca's mouth, their tongues scarcely touched. But enough. Enough to remind Chloe of one of her favourite tastes. Beca. And she did taste like Beca. Bitter but sweet coffee, black and sharp, she tasted of nothing but her. No trace of him, no trace of beer, just Beca. Chloe smiled, breaking their kiss.

Beca felt herself melting under Chloe's eyes, under Chloe's smile. She needed to be the reason for that smile. She never wanted to be a cause of pain to her. Not again. At least not tonight. She wished she could promise Chloe, promise to herself that she would do everything in her power to make sure that smile never left Chloe's face but she wouldn't dare pinkie promise anything she didn't believe in. Beca didn't believe in herself. Not when it came to Chloe. But Chloe made her want to. Be better.

They kissed again, ending when Beca tugged at Chloe's bottom lip then moved her mouth away. Beca sucked her bottom lip in. She tasted the strawberry of Chloe's lips on her own. Fuck she could taste nothing else and be happy. Right? They could both make each other happy. Right? No. Fuck. That's all they did. Fuck. And for a small while that would make them happy and then life slipped in. They needed to be a part of each others lives. Each others days. Not nights. Not just nights. Not just this.

Chloe ran her tongue over her lip, feeling it swollen. Tasting Beca. Tasting copper. She swallowed. Hard. Chloe dipped a single digit back into Beca, feeling how wet Beca already was, not being able to help herself. She did that to Beca. Why couldn't Beca do that to her? Beca did. Beca made her want, made her wet, she wanted Beca to know how much.

"Bec... I-I want you-"

"-I want," Beca said it like duh, this is obvious. With a small shrug. "you too-"

"-Bec... I want you..." This was it, Beca's last chance. Beca had to show her or darn it Chloe was done. "inside me..." Chloe removed her finger again but Beca's hips crashed down hard, trapped Chloe's hand just in the right spot for Chloe's fingers to press into her clit. "I want to feel you..."Chloe gasped lightly at feeling Beca's clit throbbing against her finger. Everything she needed was right there. Beca. "...inside me."

Beca ground her hips fast and faster and hard and harder into Chloe as she let Chloe's words wash over her. She wanted that too. Right? Wanted to feel Chloe. Beca really fucking did. Beca had told her, confessed to her that she was in love with her. That had to be the scary part over with. Right?

Chloe felt her wrist beginning to bruise. Chloe just didn't care. Chloe liked it. The bruising felt good, they would be a temporary reminder the next day that this happened. That this, right now, between them, was real. That Beca had told her she was in love with her. And darn it she was too. Chloe liked the weight of Beca on her. On top of her. Bearing down and grinding into her. Just her. Just the two of them. Chloe wanted more. Chloe wanted Beca to want more. Chloe wanted Beca to want her. Only.

"Say-fuck-say that again..." Beca panted. Moved. Arms stretched out, hands against the bed, flat beside Chloe's head, hips up, looked down at Chloe as Chloe removed her fingers off of Beca, rubbed her wrist with her other hand. Chloe looked up into Beca's eyes. Dark and daring. Fuck she loved that look. Would never forget that look. "tell me what you want..."

Beca was taking charge. Beca was there. With her. On her.

"I want... you... inside-"

"-Yes-" Beca breathed the word in, bit her lip, she didn't mean to speak. Wanted to hear Chloe speak. Hear Chloe tell her, but those words. Chloe's words. Fuck. They excited her. She couldn't look away from Chloe. Couldn't blink. Couldn't

"I want..." Chloe smiled, a small giggle at Beca's reaction. To her. Fuck it was hot. Chloe knew that didn't describe the look and sound of Beca. But the word hot would have to suffice. "I want-" Chloe's panties were pulled down "-to feel-" ripped away "-you-" bundled "-inside-" ripped and thrown. Away. Then Beca is in her. "-me...ahhhhfuhhhhck." No tentative strokes up her thighs, no sweet kisses. No more hesitation. "Fuck!" Becas hand moved straight to her centre, hard and fast. One finger inside. Beca pushed in and in and in and in, faster and faster. Chloe didn't feel like when Beca would touch herself. It was softer, warmer, weird. In a fucking fantastic way. Becas other hand held Chloe's hip in place. Firm. "Bec... slower... slow..." Beca did as instructed. Beca was thankful for Chloe telling her what she wanted. How she wanted it. How she wanted her. Chloe's voice alone and they way it sounded so her but so different. Needy but not weak. Needy for her. Desire. "Yeahhhh ugh that's..." Beca slowed even more, interested in the way she could feel Chloe contracting around her finger and the noise that made, the noise she made Chloe make, and the noise it was making her make deep in her own throat. "...fuck mmmmmmm fuck like oh God Bec... Bec..."

"Like... that?" Beca watched Chloe, listened to Chloe. Chloe's shallow breaths. The ambient noise on the track that was her and Chloe. Together. Chloe's shallow breaths broken with the sound of Beca's own name. Melodic. Lyrics, and dropping in, bass line as the beat built and built was the sound of Chloe getting wet. And wetter. A warm inviting noise that she could feel and that let her know she was right where she belonged.

"Y-yeah just like-Bec-fuck-another... another fuck I need more-"

"-Wha..." Beca quickly understood, eyes wide then blinked. Slow. Falling into the serenity of Chloe's eyes. "...ohhhh..." Beca bit her lip but a smile formed and broke it anyways. Beca leant in and kissed Chloe's pulse point as she slid another finger into Chloe. Easy. This was all so easy. Felt so right. Was. "Fuck..." Beca didn't have words for how Chloe felt, a pressure and then she was inside.

Her.

Chloe.

Chloe squirmed below Beca and moaned loud, as Becas fingers in her moved.

Deep.

Slow.

Beca was trying to get her mind around now. This. Being inside Chloe. She was inside Chloe. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck she felt good. Beca felt good making Chloe feel good. Fuck.

"B-Bec..." One of Chloe's hands travelled down and took Beca's wrist. Pushed. Into her further, her head hit the bed. Hard. Beca moved with her. Leant further into her. "Yeah fuck faster faster, press just like... ahhh fu-fuck faster yeah..."

"Like..." Beca pressed inside Chloe. Deep and thought about what Chloe had felt like inside her, and curled in fingers like she remembered Chloe doing. She whispered, her throat dry, coarse, into Chloe's ear. "...like this?"

"Y-Yeah til you feel..."

"Like..." Beca pressed further, feeling the tendons in her arm strain. Loving the feeling. Sucked on Chloe's ear, bit, a little too harsh and had to tear her teeth away as she heard Chloe gasp and twitch, pulling her head away, was that too much?

"More... Bec..." No it wasn't too much for Chloe. Chloe was enjoying the shit out of feeling Beca bruising her, nibbling, biting, marking her. Mostly that. Marking her as hers. As Becas. At Beca owning her. Owning her passion and desire for Chloe. Loved the way Beca wanted to consume her. "A little more, please Bec... please..."

Beca pulled her fingers out. Sticky. She rubber her thumb over them, coating them in Chloe's wetness. She remembered how fucking fantastic she felt with Chloe inside her. She wanted Chloe to feel that. Off her. This was scary. New.

This was good. They were good. Together.

Chloe's hips rolled up, Beca looked up from Chloe's tanned and toned body and saw the need, the need for her, for Beca to be back inside Chloe, dripping from Chloe's eyes.

Beca slipped with ease back into Chloe, Chloe's eyes rolled back as her mouth hung open, air sucking in but any moans trapped at the back of Chloe's throat unable to breathe properly with the feeling of Beca deeper than before, more fingers filling her than before and that's when Beca felt her fingers hit what she can only imagine is squishy and pink and all kinds of perfect inside Chloe. And she's sure Chloe agrees.

Chloe's eyes shot open.

Mewling moans escaped Chloe as she started to shake.

Chloe's legs kicked at the bed. Chloe's legs shook.

Beca felt her own shaking. Tried to stop them. But her body was responding in ways it never had before.

Yeah Beca was certainly doing something right.

Chloe was certainly right.

For her.

Harder.

Chloe moaned Beca's name.

Longer.

Chloe panted Beca's name.

Slower.

Chloe's hips rolled in rhythm to the pace Beca had set.

Stroking inside.

Beca pressed into her, wanting to see what other noises she could elicit from Chloe's lips. And then she remembered what sent her over the edge. And she kissed her way to Chloe's ear, licks, a little, tugged, a little harder on Chloe's lobe, a bite, that Chloe leans into then whispered.

"Cum... cum for me... cum Chlo... cum for me..."

Beca's name broke over and over, tumbled out of Chloe's mouth with a stream of profanities.

Becas legs moved, over Chloe, straddle Chloe's bare thigh, needing to feel her, pushed down and down and rolled as Chloe's thigh under her shook, rolled harder, the material of Beca's jeans pushed up into her just so fucking right, the material coarse and harsh against Chloe's skin, reddened her flesh, bruised and tore a little leaving red streaks burning into her, hips grinding harder and faster. Beca moaned. Her lips moving over Chloes face, her cheeks, her jaw until she had Chloe's jersey in her mouth, teeth gripping, breath spluttering, moans stuck in the back of her throat and she's grunting.

Beca didn't think she was capable of noises that... what? Animalistic. That? Free. Unthinking.

Beca's grunts made Chloe's head swim. She tried to take in every little movement and noise. Trying to remember everything. Trying to lock away in her memory how this makes her feel. Right now.

Alive.

Chloe pushed up hard into Beca, she tried to roll her hips so she could turn them on their side, but Beca's hand moved, from her solid grip on her hip. Chloe felt her skin there cold without Beca's touch. Yet it burned. Sore from how hard Beca had held her. Fingers and nails. Digging. Twisting. Gripping. Marks surely left.

Beca grabbed a hold of Chloe's leg and brought it up to rest on her hip. Beca rolled her hips down. Hard. Unable to breathe because it felt so fucking good. And Beca doesn't care about breathing. Needs to feel this fucking good with Chloe under her more than she needs anything else.

Chloe didn't think they could be closer until Beca did that, and she dug her heel into Beca's lower back. Her free hand came up to hold onto Beca's waist, moving to feel her back. Her hand travelling under where Beca's shirt had risen.

Hot. Tight. Beca's slim frame holding so much power above her. Muscles moving as Beca moved on her. In her. Deeper. And Chloe can feel her wetness trickling down Beca's slender fingers, can hear it, smell the sex in the air.

"Bec, oh God I'm so-so fuck so fucking close..."

"...cum for me."

"Fuck I'm so... clit, fuck Bec touch, Bec fuck...ing rub my ohhh Bec-fuck-ohhh-" Beca removed her fingers, leaving Chloe feeling empty. Chloe hips rolling off the bed. Beca moved her hand back to Chloe, and pressed into Chloe's stroking up and down her folds until she felt Chloe's breath leave her, heard the silence in the air around her and knew she had skimmed Chloe's clit again. Beca tried to focus her fingers there like she was told. Asked. Begged to do. "...F-fast oh-oh-oohhh faster yeah..." Beca smiled, eyes sparkling. Loving the way Chloe had been telling her exactly what she wanted. Loved the feeling of Chloe slippery and moist under her touch. The way all her touches had made Chloe start to glisten and glow all over. Loved the noises she had drawn out of Chloe until Chloe couldn't breathe and all moans were currently stuck in a held breath in her throat. As Beca built and built and built Chloe up and up and up closer and closer and closer.

Chloe's hand travelled down. Fingers dug into Beca's back the way Beca's had into her. Her nails dig and twist and mark Beca. She hears Beca moan. She digs, twisting, harder and with every movement Beca cries out a little more above her. Chloe's heel digging harder, tensing her leg as it shakes. Uncontrollably.

Beca falters for a second, but only a second as she takes in the pain of Chloe's heel digging and her fingers scratching at her, into her and she realises that she likes, no she fucking loves that pain.

Beca's hand groped over Chloe's jersey top, pushed it, awkward, up over her abs which twitched under her touch. Her touch, that skimmed the underside of her breast but the material of the top bunched. It frustrated. As much as the blue of the material made Chloe's eyes seem somehow impossibly brighter, and she loves her dressed in a baseball jersey, she wanted Chloe out of it. She didn't know Chloe liked baseball. Beca closed her eyes, pictured Chloe in a baseball uniform with those tight little trousers the players wore, looking cocky in a snapback. Beca would push the cap round, cradle Chloe's face, feel Chloe's hair against the back of her hands, running through her fingers and she would lean in. Slow. No Chloe would pull her in by her shirt. Quick. To capture her lips. And she'd taste of candy floss. And Beca is trying to undo a button, snapped back to now, unsuccessfully she fights with the button, so she pulls. Heard a pop, another pop and then Chloe's breasts are free. Her mouth is on them, sucking and nipping, biting and pulling on Chloe's nipples, one breast to the other and back again as she feels Chloe shudder as she feels Chloe shake, her ribcage twitched, the movement of her abs beating out their own rhythm with Beca's heart.

Yes Beca fucking Mitchell has a heart.

One she tries to hide, but Chloe, this damn red head bulldozed down the walls surrounding it, set it free, could set Beca free.

Beca kissed up her chest, across and bit down hard into her shoulder. She didn't release her teeth quick, or loosen. Beca didn't lick or kiss when her mouth did release the muscles she had clamped between her teeth, as a moan spluttered out of her, instead she bait down an inch across harder still. Beca felt Chloe's stomach sticking to her own where her shirt rode up. She curled her fingers back inside of Chloe then pulled out of her and then slid back in, repeating and repeating until Chloe's wetness covered her palm.

Sticky.

Hot.

Hers.

And Beca wants to taste it. Doesn't move her hand to her mouth. Would that be like weird? So she continued as Chloe shook and she felt Chloe gripping her fingers as she fucks her. No. Not that. Beca knows she's in love with Chloe. Beca smiles, its small, as she looked down, watched herself not fucking Chloe but making love to Chloe, watched her hand straining in and out of Chloe. Saw the wet patch under Chloe on the bed.

Chloe couldn't concentrate. On anything. Instead she rode out all her feelings. Emotions. Thought about now. Her and Beca. Happy. Pushed away any invasive thoughts, that kept trying to worm their way in, set up shop and tell her that Beca and Jesse do this. Fuck. But this wasn't fucking.

She was in love with Beca, and Beca with her. No fucking way was Beca in love with Jesse. That just wasn't a possibility in Chloe's mind. And so it made what they were doing and what Beca does with Jesse, different. Complete. Utter. They would fuck. Her and Beca were making love.

And that's all Chloe could cling on to.

That Beca was in love with her. And not him.

So why was Beca with him, and not her.

Public.

Chloe pushed the thought far away.

"Is that?"

"Okay?" Chloe panted. Beca bit the flesh just under her ear. Hard. Tasted copper. Felt it wet on her tongue. Chloe whined, moaned, but didn't move away. Moved into Beca's bite. "Oh God that's... Fuck! That's good." Another pant as the sweetest strangled yelp escaped Chloe's lips and Beca shifted her mouth and bit down again. "Yes, fu-huh-fuck Beca!" Beca didn't needing telling twice and moved to the other side of Chloe's neck and took another harder bite into Chloe's shoulder as she continued her thrusting, growing faster until Chloe was shaking beneath her again. Beca stopped, overwhelmed, what she was doing, they were doing starting to catch up to her. She had this astounding effect on Chloe. She felt all kinds of proud as she looked up into Chloe's eyes. They were closed, but opened. Slow. "Bec... Don't-fuck! Don't stop."

Beca removed her hand, soaked, she sat up, ripping her own shirt off, throwing it behind her, left with only her black tank top.

Chloe watched. Shifted a little on the bed, felt herself drip. Thighs soaked. Sticky. Her sheets under her wet. Because of her. Because of what Beca had been, was doing to her.

Chloe licked her lips as she watched Beca's eyes on her pussy. She needs Beca. Beca needs Chloe. To taste her.

And no words need saying as Chloe can read Beca's mind.

Beca dragged her fingers over Chloe's pussy. Fingers sticky. Beca breaths heavy, as she brings her wet fingers to her mouth. She had been thinking non stop about what Chloe would taste like. She danced them over her bottom lip and entered them, swirling her tongue over the Chloe soaked digit, and her eyes flicked up from staring at Chloe's pussy up to Chloe's eyes. A flash of lightening between their eyes as Beca moved quick, swift and Chloe's legs are thrown over Beca's shoulder, Chloe dragged down the bed, flat, and Beca moved down and can't wait, can't build Chloe up, no teasing, she had to taste her. Now.

Sweet.

Sweeter than she had tasted on her fingers.

Sweeter than any kiss.

Almost jarring.

Almost.

But perfect.

And Beca shuddered just from the taste. She shudders starting from her tongue, dancing over her lips. She licks and sucks and swallows. The taste, the feeling of Chloe inside her mouth radiates heat from deep within her and she feels her own wetness as she shifts on the bed.

Beca thought going there would help. Chloe had said she needed to see her, and she needed that too. This was meant to help. She had left Jesse sleeping in her bed for this. For Chloe. Chloe would help. She would finally get what she wanted and it would subside all her anger. All her anger at herself. All her passion for this damn red head. All this need. Want. She wanted it gone. Hit it head on and it would all disappear, at least that's the lie she had told herself to make herself feel better as she had drove over there in his car, but the need, desire, the passion was growing. It grew with every movement, every utterance of noise from those so not totally perfect lips under her. Grew from where Chloe's fingers danced on her and pushed with each roll of her hips up inside her, up into the pit of her stomach, crawling up inside and wrapping around her heart. Beca felt light headed, woozy, sick. She felt glorious. With Chloe she was infinite.

It had become real when she had been real with Chloe. Real and told her she was in love with her. Told her the truth. For once.

Chloe twitched beneath her. Her thighs twitched and shuddered as Beca roamed her fingers over them. Hot. Sticky. Chloe's hips jerked and her breath spluttered between her clamped teeth digging and bruising and tearing at the side of her own lip.

Beca entered Chloe with her tongue, twirling, moving inside as Beca moved her tongue to flick over Chloe's clit. Twirl.

The noise Chloe made then was different from when Beca had pressed her finger into, onto, rubbed Chloe's clit. It was higher, surprised almost. Beca sucked on pink flesh.

Chloe's legs bookending her head, feet writhing on her sheets. Gripping. Twitching. Curling. Tried to tether her down to Earth. As Beca's mouth, as Beca's fingers, as the noise of Beca on her, in her, tasting her, moaning in her, because of her filled her head and sent her spinning.

Chloe's reaction to her sent Beca into orbit.

And there she would happily stay. As long as Chloe was her anchor.

Becas heart pounded. The reality of the situation came back to her as the noises she was making Chloe make permeated through to her rational brain.

What the fuck? Was she doing?

Beca had though about this, now, with Chloe and it had always been tender and soft. Loving and long. Not this. She didn't want to look down at Chloe. Felt her actions catching up.

Hard. Instead of soft.

Beca felt sick. At herself.

It subsided as she shifted, feeling herself so wet. Jeans still on. Wanting to rip them off, down, and have Chloe suck and lick her until she couldn't take any more.

Beca moved off Chloe, her sides shaking. She moved to sit at the end of the bed, looking at her hands. Wet. She licked her lips wanting to taste Chloe. And there's that feeling of sickness building up inside her again. Sick at herself. It had nothing to do with Chloe she just wished she had took her time. Wished she had treat Chloe the way she deserved. Worshipped.

She glanced back and saw Chloe. Saw the bites and bruises already forming and marks left on what was once flawless unblemished tanned firm skin.

She was in love with her, so how could she leave Chloe's body looking like that. How did she just? What had she just done?

Beca sat on the edge of Chloe's bed, just like when she'd first entered Chloe's room, head back in her hands. Shuddering with pain, wishing it was from the pleasure from only seconds ago. But it wasn't. What must Chloe think of her? Chloe had been into it though. Right? Chloe had guided her through it but it felt wrong. Right? No fuck yes no what had Beca just done. This was all in. She had to be all in. Now. With Chloe.

"Sorry I-I Chl-Beale, Beale I-I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?"

Beca nodded. Looked away. Back in her lap.

"I'm so sorry."

"W-what for? Why?" Chloe didn't want to ask, feeling anger rise to her surface. No Beca wasn't going to back track now. This had happened. They had. Beca was hers. Beca was in love with her. No fuck! No Beca wasn't going to run away. No Beca wasn't going to spoil it. Right now with apologies about the past. They had each other. They had now. If Beca ran, if she did that, Chloe was completely utterly finally fucking done. With Beca. With them. For good.

"Look... look at you, just like last time, fuck Beale what-what's wrong with me," Beca covered her eyes, palms pressed in hard. Felt tears burning behind them. "I-I dunno I never meant fuck I never meant to hurt you never meant any of this I love you and I do this what fuck what's wrong with me I don't-I don't deserve any of your time you sure as shit deserve better than me fuck I'm fucked Chlo please tell me you love me please please fuck..."

"Oh... Oh Bec," Anger replaced with love in Chloe's eyes. Relaxed. Relived. Beca never meant to hurt her. Beca was hurting as much too. Fragmented. Just as she was. "Bec, I-I'm," Chloe leant in and kissed Beca. Light. Beca kissed her back, a sharp in take of breath as Chloe hummed into the kiss, then slowly moved back. Chloe smiled as she watched Beca's eyes open. Slow. A gush of air that Beca had been holding. Unable to breathe, hit Chloe's lips. Chloe smiled. Wide. "I do, I love you Bec ...and-and I'm not gonna break. Okay? I'm good. We're... we can be... good. I love you. Okay?" Another light kiss. Chloe nodded at Beca. Beca nodded lightly back. "Okay? I." Kiss. "Love." Kiss. "You."

"I'm still-" Beca sniffed, felt her nose stuffy. Throat thick. Swallowed. "fuck I'm sorry. Was that... erm like," Beca rolled her eyes. Embarrassed. "Was that... I... was it... good?"

A light sigh. A small mocking smile off Chloe.

"If you have to ask Bec..."

"Please... Beale... don't-don-t mess-"

"-Why? Didn't you enjoy it..." Chloe cocked her head, a little, smirk, Beca's smirk. Beca's smile. Chloe bit her bottom lip. Beca didn't answer. Chloe liked, no loved the way Beca was staring at her lips, as she let her lip go. "Wasn't that worth the wait?"


	31. Chapter 31

Beca woke.

Could feel the warmth in her eyes.

Could feel the warmth in her entire body.

Hummed contentment in the back of her throat.

Happy.

Fuck.

Becca 'effin Mitchell was happy. Beca had made Chloe happy. Beca had made Chloe cum. Beca had stayed. In Chloe's arms.

The warmth was Chloe. Everything that felt so right the night before, on waking, still felt right. Dare Beca say perfect. Yeah she just might. Not aloud. Where anyone could hear. But to herself, yeah this, right now, with Chloe.

Perfect.

Relaxed.

Almost to the point of being numb.

Comfortably numb.

Beca smiled, stifled a small giggle.

Beca turned, a little, in Chloe's arms, loved the feeling of their legs shifting against one another, and then she just lay, head against the pillow and just looked. No. The word 'just' never applied to Chloe, but Beca did. Look. She traced the way the sunshine illuminated her splayed hair against the pillow. Beca shook a little as her hand hovered just before she lightly touched her fingers to red locks. Beca's eyes closed. Slow. A smile. Small. She shook her head at herself feeling her eyes roll inside their lids as she tucked a warm dishevelled lock behind Chloe's ear.

Dishevelled because of her.

Beca had made Chloe cum.

Beca lent in and kissed Chloe's ear. Light. And another small kiss because she couldn't resist.

Beca wanted Chloe to wake up. Selfishly. Was it? Maybe. Beca wanted Chloe awake so she could kiss her. Properly. Fully. Beca wanted Chloe awake so she could kiss down her neck, her breasts, lick down her stomach, kiss and kiss Chloe until Chloe asks her, no, begs her, until Chloe begs her to be inside her again.

Chloe's eyes opened. Slow. Sleepy. Saw Beca. Her smile spread up and up over her face until it shone out her eyes.

Beca didn't know what to say. She didn't want to spoil the magic of the moment. Of waking up. Together. With Chloe. Together. Fucking together. She tried to stifle her smile a little, it was so uncool how happy she was, right? How big her smile had the potential to be.

Chloe played her fingers in the small curls at the nape of Beca's neck.

"Morning beautiful."

Chloe smiled. Slow. Waited. Wanted Beca to kiss her. First.

"Mmm gorgeous." Beca had tried to say good morning but couldn't. Couldn't form words let alone a sentence, her brain switched off, no her brain over loaded by being there with Chloe. In Chloe's arms. Beca tried to centre herself, compose herself, gather and put herself back in functioning order by concentrating on the feeling of Chloe's arms. Strong. Safe.

"What?"

Beca's eyes closed slowly, she hummed, content. When she opened her eyes she was met with the bright ones of Chloe. In the early morning sunlight Chloe's blue eyes glistened ridiculously bright. Beca shook her head a little.

"How are you... I..." Beca inhaled then sighed. "I-I... can't... just... wow."

Chloe giggled at her.

"What?"

"Your eyes..." Beca inhaled again, head light, airy, she tried to feed her brain some oxygen. Stop the dizziness. "Can I take you to lunch today?"

"No."

"Uhhh...Ummmm..."

"We have rehearsal." Beca pouted at her. Overly so like a petulant child. "Bec stop that." Beca groaned. Tried to push her lip out further. Chloe smiled at her. Leant in, and bit Beca's lip. Tugged on it. Let it go. "Stop it." Beca did but still frowned at her. "It's the last vocal one and then we've-"

"-Tomorrow then?"

"We're meant to have the last run through of the lighting cue's and last check of the-"

"Ha!"

"What Ha?"

"Tomorrow it is." Beca smiled. Smug. Waggled her head.

"Where did you get that? We're meant to have-"

"Meant to have." Chloe quirked an eyebrow at Beca. "You're already on board. Lunch. I'll figure out the rest later."

"We can't skip the last rehearsal."

"But you said 'meant to' so you've already-" Chloe cut her off with a kiss. "That a-" Chloe tried to silence her again with another kiss. Failed as Chloe moved her lips over Beca's Beca just had to keep speaking. "-yes?"

"Yes." Chloe mumbled against Beca. Chloe kissed her, small, light kisses as she smiled into her. Chloe chuckled as she felt Beca's tongue flick out and lick at her lips as they kissed. Chloe's fingers gripped through Beca's hair, dug into her scalp, Beca moaned breaking their kisses but quickly moved her lips back to Chloe's as Chloe's hands moved down, clutched at the back of Beca's neck. Chloe's thumbs rubbed the tops of Beca's shoulders, nails scraped along bare pale skin. Red lines left. Beca marked by Chloe. As Chloe's. Beca shifted, closer, feeling her naked body against Chloe. Instantly warmed, but a shiver ran through her. Toes curled beneath the blankets, as her legs brushed and moved, entwined with Chloe's.

"Sisters before misters! ...or other sisters or whatever the shit you guys are into this week."

"Ummm," Beca looked over her shoulder, eyes wide, pupils blown out. Midnight rings encircling black orbs. They narrowed and the midnight sky descended, pin pricks focused on Fat Amy. "Hey."

The word was casual. It's tone was not.

"Aca-awkward!"

"Hey Amy." Chloe leant up a little, not that she cared but she was mostly covered by Beca, as she sent Fat Amy a big bright smile and a small wave.

"I was sent by-"

"Yes?" Beca interrupted. Wanting Amy gone. Amy knew the bare basics about Chloe. Her and Chloe. It was an unspoken truth. A secret kept without having to really ask. Just was. Beca didn't want to have to have that conversation with Fat Amy again. Just wanted her gone. Wanted the world to be her and Chloe for as long as possible.

"-To get Chloe-"

"-Yes?"

"-For rehearsal-"

"-Yes?"

"Bec, stop it." Chloe pushed playfully at Beca, Beca turned back to look at Chloe. Eyes that were harsh softened at the sight of Chloe's face. She blushed, felt embarrassed at how she had been talking to Fat Amy. Beca knew, could feel herself being rude but couldn't help it, she stepped outside herself sometimes, saw the bitch she was being, but couldn't fucking help it. Instantly regretted it. Tucked her head down. Chloe stroked over Beca's hair. Soothing. And it did. Beca regained herself. Her arms around Chloe tightened, a little, only a small flex but Chloe felt it. Liked it. A whole fucking lot. Felt like she was Beca's anchor. She was. Chloe played her fingers in Beca's hair, soft. "We're coming."

"That's what she-" Beca's head whipped back around. "...she said. Sorry hashtag not sorry."

"We'll meet you there." Chloe smiled. Bright. Nodded. Fat Amy nodded, smirked, and closed the door behind her. "So she already knows..." Beca turned her head back around, eyes found Chloe's. Chloe looked all over Beca's face. Studying. "...about us?" Beca nodded. "Huh? So there is an 'us' but you're not cool... with her knowing...? ...exactly?..."

"Not... exactly... umm no but-"

"-But...?" Beca kissed up Chloe's neck, jaw, a small kiss on her chin.

"I'm getting there."

* * *

 

"It's literally in two days. Two. Days. Chloe can't you just like stop hiccuping so we can get through one vocal run through, please?!"

"You..." Chloe muttered, a hint of disbelief in her voice. Small. "Bitch."

"God you're such a pain in my ass."

Aubrey felt herself snapping at Chloe. All the time. And she can't stop it. She loves Chloe. And she loves Stacie. It's so different, and for one to be teetering on jeopardising the other, she can't help but be acting harsh to Chloe. Chloe brought this on herself. Shit. No. She brought Chloe into this. Yes she-

"Fuck off." Aubrey spun her head around at Beca. Eyes wide. All thoughts wiped, mind blank. Thoughts needing to be formed on what just happened and how to deal with Beca. What. The. Shit? Mouth wider. Everyone looked between the two. Ready to see how Beca's outburst was going to go down. "Leave Beale the fuck. Alone. At least she's not going to hurl everywhere. She's just hiccuping! You're such a fucking-"

"-What? I'm the jerk?" Aubrey looked across to where Stacie would usually sit. Always. Empty.

"Come ere," Beca spoke quiet, back turned to Aubrey. Chloe hiccuped. Aubrey rolled her eyes. Beca took Chloe's hands, led her to the side. Chloe hiccuped. Aubrey let out an annoyed sigh. Beca dropped Chloe's arms to her side and placed a hand on one of Chloe's arms. "Look here." Beca's other hand she held in a fist in front of Chloe's eyes. Chloe hiccuped. "Inside here," Beca nodded down. A small smile. Her voice low. "I have your breath." Chloe hiccuped. "See you don't believe me, but I do. And in here with your breath is your hiccups. Just try and breath when I've got it in the palm of my hand." Chloe looked into Beca's eyes with confusion but she went with it. She couldn't breathe when those eyes looked into hers. Dark eyes thundered and rained down into her own. "See knew you couldn't," a smirk. "And if you can't breathe you can't hiccup. Okay Beale?" Chloe nodded. Breath still held. "I'm gonna open my hand slowly, just let the hiccups go, poof, vanished into the air and then once my hand is open all the way your breath will be yours again. Okay?" Chloe's looked down at Beca's fist. Watched with intent and a slowly spreading smile as Beca uncurled her fingers. One. By. One.

Chloe's nervousness went away with each slow breath she took, was allowed to take by Beca. A shared smile as Chloe nodded at Beca, she was good. Felt safe. Because of Beca.

Aubrey watched them. Her Chloe and fucking Beca. She wanted rid of Beca so bad, but Beca was a distraction. She kept Chloe fucking occupied, and a Beca obsessed Chloe was less likely to cause any more trouble for her and Stacie, so she let Beca be there. Let Beca be in their lives. In Chloe's life. To make her own life easier.

Aubrey was clinging to anything to keep Stacie.

And she could. She would. If only Stacie would return a call, a text, come back home.

Aubrey had been over to Flo's, and Stacie had told her to go away. No Stacie hadn't told her, Flo had, a message from Stacie. That Stacie didn't want to see her. Or couldn't. Aubrey wasn't sure what Flo had said if she was honest, too emotional, in an embarrassing mess of tears when she had got out her car and went to see Stacie, had the door open on her enough, enough for Flo to make it clear she wasn't coming in, not enough to see Stacie which she knew, Aubrey knew was just on the other side of the door, was within reach and wasn't allowed to see or speak to, to plead her case to. Helpless. She had let all her walls down for Stacie. No. Had she? Stacie had knocked them down. She wouldn't allow herself to beg. So why had she? Cause she's in love with Stacie. She's in love and wanted them back to how they were before Chloe. Aubrey had heard the message off Stacie filtered through Flo loud and clear though, fuck off and leave Stacie alone. A message she would ignore. Right? She wouldn't beg. She wouldn't. But all she wanted was Stacie.

Aubrey rolled her eyes again, a few loud claps to regain control. Of herself. Of the Bellas. Pack her emotions away, locked, tight. Take back attention. To her.

"Right pitches!" Hands on her hips, confident, she wouldn't show anyone a crack in her armour, she picked out the pitch pipe from her shorts pocket, blew. "lets get back to it!"

Chloe lent into Beca. Loved hearing the way Beca's breath stuttered as she got closer. Loved the smell of her own perfume on Beca. Closer. Until her lips were against the hair that fell over Beca's ear.

"We're so skipping this tomorrow." A whisper. Aubrey's glance at Chloe was caught by Chloe as Chloe giggled into Beca's ear, and glanced at Aubrey. Aubrey didn't hear what Chloe had whispered, she only heard Beca's reply.

"Sweet!"

* * *

 

"I'm vegetarian."

"Me too."

Chloe and Jessica sat opposite Beca in the booth. Beca wondered why not one but both women opposite her had let them walk in and take a seat if they were going to saddle her with this information. Maybe to see the look on her face.

"Oh, I umm yeah... just like everyone likes BBQ right so ummm shit, thought this place sounded funny..."

"Butt Hutt?" Chloe tried to keep a straight face. Eyebrows raised.

"Never said I didn't have a juvenile sense of humour." Beca shrugged. Sighed. "Wish I'd known... but I did... I did not... know that... about either of you... shit. Sorry."

"Haven't really gotten to know us have you Bec?"

Beca couldn't read how serious Chloe was being. Her tone was serious. Her face was smooth and the gaze she levelled her with across the table was straight and unwavering, but there was the smallest of curve to the corner of her lips. Chloe made her nervous. Beca looked away from Chloe to Jessica. Jessica's smile was soothing. She could like form cohesive thoughts if she looked at her. Beca couldn't stop fidgeting with her napkin, she tried, hated how she knew it made her look nervous. She was. Damn red head.

"But I want to I mean..." Chloe's gaze didn't change. Jessica stood. Stretched.

"I'm going to at least go get some drinks since we're here."

"Thanks." Chloe smiled up bright into Jessica's bright smile. Beca wondered how some people could be that happy all the time. Not that she wasn't right now. No. She wasn't. She wanted the day alone with Chloe but Jessica had skipped out on rehearsal too and wanted to come along and see Ashley's band play that night too.

"Beale, I really," Beca whispered leaning down and closer to Chloe. "I really fucking want to," Then she sat back a little, took one of Chloe's hands in both of hers, sat a little straighter, her eyes dipping between Chloe's hands in hers and Chloe's eyes. "other than in the biblical sense..." Chloe broke out into a smile then. Beca's heart totally didn't just skip a beat, that's silly, so why did it? "Come on Strawberry." Beca cocked her head. A wink. "Let's blow this joint."

"Sure." Chloe giggled. "Hey Jess!" Jessica had just reached the bar. Looked across at them. "We're just gonna-" Chloe nodded towards the door. Jessica smiled. She pointed at the restrooms, Chloe nodded, smiled. Jessica held up two fingers then pointed at the entrance. Chloe nodded.

Beca watched them. The communication. Mostly without words. How close were all the Bellas? Really? They lived together. On top of each other day in day out. Beca kinda wished she had that, knows she couldn't handle that. Needs her own space. Lots of it. But yeah she wonders how much Jessica, how much everyone Chloe lives with, shares her mornings, every morning, every day with, what they all know about her that she doesn't. May never.

Beca thought she looked cool when she winked, Chloe could tell. Beca didn't but she did love the way Chloe smiled and the breath caught in Chloe's throat when she did that. So Beca winked again. Nodded. Chloe giggled again. Yeah Beca was cool because she could make Chloe happy, and that meant the world to her. The rest of her life and the actual world could take a back seat, she would like deal with her life another time, she just needed to exist here. Now. With Chloe Beale.

"Where do you wanna go?" Beca asked. Looked down as Chloe's other hand had joined its partner in Beca's. Chloe smiled at her. Warm. Played with Beca's fingers. Beca looked up into the review. See if Jessica was looking. She wasn't. She was smiling out the window. Chloe caught Becas glance. Wanted to call her on it. Didn't want the argument. Let it go. "What do you wanna eat?" Chloe's smirk, the way one of her eyebrows cocked, the way her eyes dipped, her head nodded, a little, the look, that look, the look Beca had only seen Chloe give her when she had been between her legs, her look, the look just for Beca that Chloe gave her in response set the bats out of Beca's cage.

"Quit it with your innuendos."

"Nintendo?"

Beca isn't sure if Chloe's serious or not. But she loves the way Chloe's look disappears. If Chloe had continued to look at her in her special way she doesn't think she could have taken it, not a second longer. Even with Jessica in the back. And she loves the look it's replaced with. Blue eyes big like a Keane painting. Unblinking. All her features smooth and serious. Was she really being serious. Nintendo, Beca repeated it in her head. Smiled. A small chuckle.

"Yeah Nintendo."

* * *

 

"Next time we stop we're getting ice cream."

"I second that." Chloe smiled through her rearview mirror at Jessica.

"Tutti frutti." Chloe and Jessica sang together. Beca smiled at them. A little fake. Feeling on the outside. This was some small in joke that she wasn't getting but still the polite smile as they sang it again "tutti fruitti"

Chloe's eyes lit up as she glanced across, excited, at Beca.

"Anything you want Beale."

Chloe looked back at the road, feeling Beca's eyes still on her. Always on her. Loved them on her, as she drove up to the 40 Watt Club.

Beca had spent the day watching Chloe drive. Stopping off any time Chloe wanted to take a photograph of the three of them, or get Jessica to take photos of the two of them. Which was a lot. Beca let her. Beca loved this. Away from college. Would love it more if it was just the two of them.

Not that she didn't like Jessica. Like how could anyone not. She was a physical form of a smile.

But still Beca wished it was just the two of them.

Always.

Knowing it wasn't. It wouldn't. Life would find a way in. But not yet. She could stave off normal day to day life and her future for a small while. And that small space would be filled with Chloe.

Beca curled up sideways on the passenger seat, feet under her, a serene small smile on her face. Wishing she could be this happy. Always.

"Hey driver picks the tunes."

"Oh is that the rule?"

"It is now since you've not settled on a full song for like a half hour, yes. Yes it is a rule. The rule. Driver, who is me, and not you, picks the tunes." Chloe finished with a small satisfied hum. Spoke matter of factly.

Beca blinked slowly, and replaced her phone in her pocket, ignoring all the notifications. She folded her arms, tucked her chin in, didn't like the silence. When her eyes flicked back up, slow, she found Chloe sneaking a glance. At her. A smirk.

Beca lent up, took Chloe's phone from where it sat.

"Passcode."

"I'm not telling you that."

"I know it." Jessica giggled from the back.

"Don't you tell her Jess."

"Passcode." Beca whined.

"What's yours?"

"2362"

"Hmmm."

"Hmmm? Passcode."

"Nope."

"Nope?"

"Yep. Nope. Pass." Chloe's hand out, Beca passed over Chloe's phone to her. Chloe placed her thumb over the home button and then passed it back. "I'll allow you to pick a song-"

"-One song?"

"Yes just the one, see if you can get through the entire thing first before I let you pick more than that." Chloe smirked, and it widened, as she loved Beca's frown, as Beca thumbed through her phone.

"I don't know these songs."

"Oooh I'm gonna be wanting some tutti frutti in about ten miles!" Jessica clapped. Beca looked back at her. Jessica was practically bouncing in her seat.

"Huh?" Beca said.

"The sign we just passed." Chloe scrunched her shoulders, let out a little squeal of delight, fingers splayed out and wiggled on her steering wheel. "Me too!"

"Tutti fruitti" Chloe and Jessica sang in unison again.

Excitement.

Beca took out her phone text Chloe, saw her name flash up on Chloe's lock screen. Watched as Chloe took her phone and opened it. Read and smiled. A sad smile. Why couldn't Beca just say it? They're with Jessica. Who was Jessica going to tell? Jessica didn't give a shit.

**Beca - Fuck you're cute**

* * *

 

"I called you up you didn't answer your phone." Ashley sang, the rest of 'That would be a cool name for a band' played the song. "I wondered what you were doing and if you wanted an ice cream cone, yeah. I waited outside but didn't see your car."

Beca slipped her hands from around Chloe's waist, didn't look back as Ashley held her hand out and pulled her on stage.

"I spent the whole night drinking and don't remember leaving the bar, yeah!"

Beca lent into the same mic as Ashley as they sang, she looked up back at the floor. Smiled as she watched Jessica and Chloe dancing. Together.

"Get back in my life. Get out of my head. Get back in the car. Come back to bed."

Chloe looked up, eyes wide. Shocked. Smiling. So wide. So wide it hurt Beca's heart. She swears her heart grew three sizes in that moment.

"Stop wearing my shit." Beca winked, a nod at the shirt of hers Chloe was currently wearing. Dark blue. A contrast to the Mediterranean blue crystal of Chloe's eyes. Chloe shrugged. Chloe looked cool. Sent Beca a look like she knew she looked better than Beca in the shirt. "I'm losing my mind. I'm tired of wasting all this time..."

Beca danced, turned and swayed her hips, hands up running through her hair, all for Chloe. They were out of town, knew nobody them there but Jessica and Ashley and her band, and after Beca had them in to do a session at the station, which had garnered them more gigs, they said they owed her one.

This was her one.

She wanted to sing with them. Sing with them to sing to Chloe. She moved to the bands fiddle player, Jaret's, microphone and sang the chorus along with Ashley.

"I love you, love you, love you, and I'm never gonna leave you," Beca looked down from the stage at Chloe, Chloe was dancing with Jessica again, some guys had moved in on them. Beca wasn't jealous. Sure the guys were trying to dance up on her Chloe. But that was the fact of the matter. Chloe was hers. "but I kinda hope you fucking die. Oh, you're always on my mind."

"You make me sick." Beca sang, big smirk on her face. Watched as Chloe got closer to the stage, out of the space of the guys. Into her space. Hers.

"You're really mean." Ashley stuck her tongue out at Beca.

"You know you make me laugh." Beca sang, a small wink towards Chloe.

"You're everything I need." Ashley sang as she looked and smiled down towards Jessica.

"And I," They sang together. "Love you, love you, love you, more than anything in this whole world."

"So are you my girl?" Beca sang as she took the mic out of the stand, walked to the front of the stage.

Sat.

Legs dangled over the edge.

The band played as she looked directly at Chloe.

The crowd disappeared.

Just her, the music, and that damn red head.

"Get outta my mind get outta my brain. I feel like we go through this again and again and again and again, yeah. You had your chance," Beca rolled her eyes, a moment of self awareness, knowing she was singing about herself. Hearing Chloe saying these words to her. Hoping Chloe knew she knew she was an utter shit. A dick. But that Chloe would still love her anyways. "and now I'm trashed on. I don't feel a thing let's get this over and over, can this be done? Yeah?"

"Get outta my life," Ashley joined in, but Beca remained seated as Chloe walked closer, through the crowd, the mele of dancing people. "Get back in my head. Get out of my car. Get back in my bed. Stop drinking my shit. I'm losing my mind. I'm tired of wasting all this time-"

Chloe took her hand, Jaret took his mic back, replacing it, as Beca hopped off the stage and danced along with Chloe to the rest of the song as Jessica jumped up and danced and sang the rest of the song with Ashley.

"I love you, love you, love you, and I'm never gonna leave you but I kinda hope you fucking die. Oh, you're always on my mind..."


	32. Chapter 32

"Today was..."

"Yeah?" Beca kissed her. Broke by her smile.

"...like..." Chloe kissed Beca's smile. Mumbled into her "...totally..." Another kiss, pressure harder. "...amazing..."

"Yeah?" Beca mumbled a question that didn't need asking into Chloe's kisses.

"Totally."

"I mean," Beca lent back, encircled by, safe in, Chloe's arms. Lent back and looked between Chloe's eyes. Dark. And Chloe's mouth. That smile. Hers. Focused on that smile, wanted to see nothing but it. Always be the reason for it. "...yeah it was." Beca said, flippant. Rolled her eyes, head back. Her smile, small, betrayed her tone.

"I ain't..." Chloe was tipsy. Maybe a lot more, the night air when they had left the bar, made her head swim. Beca made her head swim. The way Beca was looking at her made it difficult to stand. It was the best look Chloe had ever seen. The want in Beca's eyes. The dark desire that desired nothing but her. "...I can't drive..." Air stuck in her throat as Beca's hands brushed down her sides. "like this..." Back up her sides. Breasts cupped by Beca's palms. Light. "...though erm yeah..." The feeling of Beca's hands on her made any semblance of words being able to be formed into a coherent sentence impossible. Complete. Utter. "I can't you... either... yeah uhhh..."

"Me..." Beca lent and kissed Chloe's neck. Breath slow. Heavy. "...neither. Drive I mean..." Beca couldn't function in the language of english either, as she looked down at her hands, then back up to Chloe's smile. "...fuck..."

"...Damn..." Chloe arched her back into Beca's hands. Beca squeezed. Hard. "...get a cab?-"

"-a room?"

"Hmmmm..." Chloe felt electricity run through her body, volts sent from Beca's hands into her. "...yeah."

"Don't think I can wait," Beca kissed Chloe, sloppy and needy, kisses breaking as she smiled, tried not to, tried to kiss Chloe deep, show her how much she wanted her, but Beca couldn't stop smiling as they stumbled backwards, Beca's hands fumbled, off Chloe's chest, fumbled at Chloe's car. Awkward. But Beca managed it. Door open.

"Get inside."

Chloe pushed Beca. Beca stumbled. Awkward until she was laid across the back seat. Chloe's back seat. Beca had pictured this far too many times to embarrassingly admit even to herself. She thought about the time Jesse tried to fool around in his car, pushed away how awkward and boring that had felt, and concentrated on how amazingly perfect and right this felt, right now, with Chloe. She scooched back, hands behind her, wanted them to be on Chloe.

"Oh fuck." Muttered. Almost just to herself as she watched Chloe climb into the car after her, up her, on her. Beca looked up at Chloe. Chloe's jean clad thighs straddled her waist. "I love you." Chloe's smile faded. This now. Was real. So why couldn't she smile. She was happy. She was. Something just didn't feel right. Fuck it. They were together. They were real. Beca lent up, kissed Chloe. Head moved back, small space between them, as she looked deep through the grey darkness into Chloe's blue eyes. "I love you."

"Stop talking."

Beca stopped, used her lips to kiss every where the shadows hid Chloe from her. Parked around the back of the bar, no street lamps, there was nothing but shadows. Beca unfastened each button of her own top that Chloe's breasts were currently in. Fuck, Chloe was right, her shirt did look better on her. The dark navy had made Chloe's sea blue eyes even lighter, but in the dark, in the shadows the navy brought out the flecks of black in Chloe's eyes that Beca swore were never there before. But desire brought them out. Made them real. This. Them. Now. Was real. Beca had started from the bottom, Chloe had not wore anything beneath Beca's shirt. Beca splayed her fingers out, ran her palm up over taught muscles, Chloe's tight toned stomach, felt, and loved the feeling of it twitch beneath her palm. Until only two buttons remained, Beca cocked her head, loving seeing tanned flesh, and knowing in two small pops of buttons that the strained breasts beneath her shirt would be free. Beca could already see Chloe's nipples, hard with the night air, hard with being there, above Beca, hard with Chloe being turned on by being there in the darkness in the back of her car with Beca. Beca wanted to run her tongue over them. Bite, pull enough just enough to hear Chloe gasp. A small amount of pain.

Pop.

Beca skimmed the underside of a material clad breast, then with the thumb on her other hand did the same with the opposite.

Pop.

All that was left as Beca pushed the shirt, her shirt off Chloe, Chloe sitting up to let it fall behind her, was Chloe's bra. The pink lace stood out bright in the darkness. Beca wanted to feel Chloe's breasts, skin on the skin of her palms, couldn't wait a second longer, couldn't take the time to pop the clasp of Chloe's bra, and instead with urgency pushed the straps down, and the cups down, until the pink lace was twisted, down, around Chloe's rib cage. And Chloe's breasts were in Beca's hands. Both thumbs skimmed, brushed softly over Chloe's nipples.

Chloe rolled her hips down into Beca.

Gasped as Beca rolled hers back up, pushed back at Chloe.

Beca wanted her trousers gone, wanted Chloe's jeans gone, wanted to feel Chloe. Skin on skin. But the feeling of Chloe's breasts in her hands took all her focus. Deserved all her focus.

Chloe leaned into her touch. Every movement of Beca's hands drew out another moan, another gasp from Chloe. Chloe felt the surge of happiness running through her that shot right to her centre when Beca lent up and licked over a nipple. Chloe shuddered. Another lick. A gasp. Another lick and then Beca's mouth covered Chloe's nipple and Chloe felt Beca running her tongue and sucking and sucking and twirling her tongue over and over as Chloe felt her hips move down and down and roll and roll of their own accord into Beca. Chloe awkwardly moved her legs until she straddled just one of Beca's thighs, felt Beca moved over from one breast leaving it with a small bite to the other. Chloe's hips moved faster with the sharp spike of pain. Pleasure washing it away as she felt her centre, wet, through her trousers, through her panties, rubbing and bringing out moans with each movement against Beca. Faster and harder and faster and harder and harder and harder and shudder, twitch, her legs, her thighs twitched as she continued to ride Beca until she couldn't hold herself up any more and fell onto Beca, instantly feeling safe and warm as Beca's arms encircled her.

"Did you just...?"

Chloe hummed in reply. Turned her head to look into Beca's face and place a sloppy kiss on Beca. Chloe nodded.

"Yeah." Airy. Light reply. Another sloppy kiss, another and another until their tongues were lazily licking into each others mouths. Chloe moved her mouth away, tucked her head under Beca's chin. Her hands, she ran down Beca's sides, planned on focusing on Beca's breasts but Beca popped the button on her jeans. There. Chloe knew exactly what Beca needed. Wanted to hear Beca tell her. "What do you want?"

"You."

"Tell me what you want."

"You I-I want you, I want your hand." Beca threaded her fingers through Chloe's fingers and brought them to the opening of her jeans.

"Yes?" Beca looked up, Chloe's grin, Chloe's wicked grin. Her wicked grin.

"I want your hand where it belongs."

* * *

 

Chloe was the last on the bus. Aubrey was already at the front seat, clipboard in hand, ready to check off an extensive list of everything they needed, and everyone.

Chloe expected to see Beca slouched, feet up, headphones atop her head, at the back. But she sat behind the driver's seat, across the aisle from Aubrey, as Chloe ascended the steps onto the bus. Chloe stopped a little short, taken aback.

"I thought you'd be a back seat rebel?" A small hint of a question in Chloe's voice. A hidden, why not, in her words, her eyes. Hope. Hope that they could kick back together at the back of the bus.

"Nope a total front seat cruiser." Beca avoided looking up into Chloe's eyes. Knew she'd be pulled in and didn't think she could keep her hands to herself.

"Front seat loser."

Chloe moved past Beca. Slow. Took a small step back when Beca didn't move to follow her to the back.

"What?" Beca smirked. Looked up at her through thick lashes.

"I've got us a present. If you care to join me?"

"Neh I'm good." Her smirk wider. Teasing.

"I've had better." Chloe shrugged, sighed lightly. Moved off up the bus once she took in Beca's mock shocked face. Or like actual shocked face. Chloe didn't stick around long enough to decide either way.

"Everyone accounted for?"

"Well there's no Stacie-"

"Everyone accounted for," Aubrey narrowed her eyes, her words clipped. "Fat Amy?"

"Aye captain," Amy took in Aubrey's pained eyes, hidden deep and looked away, instantly sorry she brought up Stacie, mumbled. "... sorry captain... Aubrey."

"Good... Amy, you still good to drive the first leg?"

"Aye Captain." Brightened. Sat up straight again. Smiled at the road ahead.

Aubrey smiled in response. Big. Fake. Amy looked up at Aubrey and shrank down into her seat a little again at her smile. Aubrey's face fell.

Aubrey sat, hands folded in her lap, as they set out to regionals. Why did she still get a reaction like that? It was small, the way Amy had shrank back at her smile, like her smile had been fake or menacing. It wasn't. No it was. She used it to hide her pain. But she still appreciated every one. Every single one of them. It had taken all of them to pull together to make this happen. If they got through. No. When they got through it wasn't because of her. It was because of all of them. Okay like a lot was still her. She had motivated them. But they had stepped up. All of them. She hadn't been able to put the set list together. Had tried. It was awful. She wouldn't admit that to them. But Beca's was good. She still hated her guts. But her set was good. Aubrey wasn't going to like her for that. But she wasn't going to shoot the Bellas in the face by dismissing Beca's really fucking good set just because she hated Beca. And she had help with the costumes, had help with the lighting cue's. Cynthia did all that. In years past the Bella's hadn't even taken anything like that into consideration but Cynthia said she could get into the system at Carolina and hook up her laptop or some such shit, whatever, if their set, their performance stood out. If it did because of how different Beca's set list was, how different their costumes were, thanks to Lily.

Beca moved past Aubrey, past Cynthia and opposite Lily. Past Ashley sitting next to Jessica, up the bus she went to find Chloe. Back seat. All to herself. Slouched in one corner, legs out, feet up.

Beca's eyes travelled the length of Chloe.

Chloe felt it. Liked it. No. Loved the feeling of Beca's eyes on her.

"You come to get your present?"

"I think I've found it." Beca raised her eye brows as she went and sat next to Chloe, lifting and replacing Chloe's legs down across, against hers.

"Later." Chloe playfully hit Beca's hands that had rested on Chloe's knees. Beca squeezed and tickled her. Chloe giggled. "Stop..." Chloe pushed at Beca's hands that were tickling the backs of her knees. "Stop..." Giggles filled Beca's ears. Fuck. She loved that sound. "Stop..." Chloe pushed Beca's hands away and Beca's hands found their way up Chloe to her sides. "Jesus woman let me," A gasp, Chloe couldn't catch her breath any more. "Let me," Beca stopped, but left her hands laying on Chloe's side. "Let me, thank you, let me give you your present."

"What?"

"Special K."

"What? Like cereal?" Chloe reached for her back pocket.

"Really?"

"Yeah cause we're gonna need sustenance after the night we're gonna have?"

Chloe placed a small clear baggie into Beca's hand.

"For us. Tonight." Chloe smiled at her. Expectant. Beca looked back. Not completely blank. Not completely confused. Perplexed. "Bec, really? You're pretty vanilla."

"Huh?"

"You do drink an awful lot though." Chloe said with sadness.

"Only since I met you." Beca instantly wished she hadn't said anything. Chloe wondered about Beca's words, couldn't bring herself to say anything more. Is it cause she makes Beca sad? No she makes Beca happy, right? Now. Guess they didn't in the past. No guessing. They used to make each other feel, stop, Chloe didn't want to go back down that dark route. She wanted to ask Beca, really she did. Can't. Can't face what the answer may be. Move on, move forward. Together. Real. "So..." Beca placed the baggie in her own back pocket and then took Chloe's hands in hers, threaded their fingers together, felt so right, yeah they could have one last night together. "We're gonna get fucked up?"

"Yup." Chloe smiled at her. Bright. Beca was on board.

"Yeah?"

"And do fucked up shit."

* * *

 

Beca knew she was just on the side walk. Chloe standing in front of her. Dancing. A song from the club filtering out onto the street.

She was. Cold ground. Legs splayed out. Dishevelled.

But every time she blinked she saw Princess Bubblegum. Well Chloe was a cartoon, dancing, cute, always sexy as fuck. But yeah. Animated.

As was everything around her.

Cold ground was warm grass. The night was day. The cold and chill in the air was hot sun beams. Chloe sure was. Hot.

She brought her own arm into her line of vision. Pale. Grey.

Smiled up at Chloe. Felt fangs where her usual teeth were.

Chloe extended her pink hand to Beca's. Beca took it, pulled up and embraced.

She embraced Chloe.

Danced together in the pale moonlight.

She was the monster. Scared she would tear Chloe apart. Again.

* * *

 

Aubrey had heard the rest of the Bellas getting ready and going out, even though she had explicitly stated they needed to rest. Their voices had to be on point for the show the next night. They had to look perfect, had to be perfect to get through, they would and they would win at Nationals after that.

That's all that mattered.

That is what Aubrey felt she could control.

Because she sure as shit couldn't control anything else in her life.

She couldn't control Stacie. Damn she didn't want to. She knew Stacie had calmed her but now without her all her fucking hangups were coming back. She wasn't calmed by Stacie's presence any more.

Needed to be.

Needed her.

Phone in hand.

Dialling. Again.

"Hey."

"Oh..." Aubrey hadn't really been prepared for Stacie to answer. "Ummm hey..."

"So... how's ummm how's Regionals going?"

"Uhhhh..."

"You guys prepared?"

"I wish you were here. Stace I-I really do."

"Yeah uhhh me too... sorta."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah Aub I really do, I miss... everyone. I... I miss you."

"Then-"

"-No. You gotta I gotta figure out what... figure all our shit out."

"What is there to figure out, I love you, you love me, please Stacie-"

"-stop. I please Aub please this is why I haven't been able to see or been able to talk to you, you still don't get it."

"Get what? Please get what?"

"I don't trust you."

"I-what?"

"I don't. I think something happened between you and Chloe that night..."

"...I please Stace I-I don't wanna-"

"-see you're fuck! You're not even denying it. Just tell me, be honest with me, what happened before I came and picked the two of you up?"

"Stace please!"

"Aub I swear I'll hang up and-and I'll never I this is it... Tell me the truth or that's it."

"What? Stace please-"

"Aub I'm serious, it'll kill me but I deserve better, I'll-"

"-We kissed okay we fuck! We kissed, she was I dunno she was a mess because of fucking Beca and we were arguing and she-she kissed me. That's all, I swear Stace that's all."

"You-you kissed?"

"Yeah that's all. I swear I fucking swear Stac-"

The phone went dead. Aubrey breathed into the phone. Hung up. Dialled Stacie again. And again. And again.

* * *

 

The same tidal wave hit Beca as it had at Sectionals. That damn red head. She knew this time she couldn't play it off as part of the routine. If she went close to Chloe there was a good chance she'd rip off her stupid Bella uniform, and Chloe's and they'd be fucking on the stage. It had been a serious concern of hers. Pretty much all she had thought about the entire performance. Now it was over. The crowd was standing, clapping, her set had gone over. She felt alive, hearing her mix, her music, her arrangement gave her a sense of purpose and pride and she knew this was certainly what she wanted to do.

Jesse.

Appeared at the side of the stage. The Treblemakers were up next.

She thought of Chloe. Thought of him. Then back to Chloe. She thought of her future. He was on the road there. He wasn't at the destination but he was fast becoming more and more significant. Not important. No, not that, but a comfort. He was vital. He took away questions, he provided stability and cover.

Her future. Hanging in the balance. Hanging on her every action. The cheers, claps, whoops woke her out of her foggy state of mind. She scanned the crowd and spotted her dad. She couldn't believe he had came there to support her. And any decisions were taken away from her.

Jesse.

At the side of the stage ready to go on, ready for his big chance. He looked worried, a little pensive, but as soon as their eyes met, his grin lit up his eyes. Spread happiness. Until Beca was on automatic, unthinking, unblinking, and the Bella's are about to head off the stage, opposite side and she headed the other way. Towards him.

She ran. At him. Into him.

Jesse lifted her up as she kissed him. One cheek. Then the other. His smile wide now, creasing the sides of his eyes. A doting puppy dog. Her doting puppy dog. He captured her lips.

Chloe froze.

Emotions, all bad, swirled down until they built immense pressure and erupt. So she made a sharp exit off the other side of the stage with all the other Bellas.

Jesse twirled Beca, and in that spin she saw Chloe submerge into the darkness.

Beca patted him on the shoulder, and he let her down. He obliged. On tip toes she left one last kiss on his smile. Then crossed the stage, passed Jessica's small frown at her, ignored Aubrey's bigger one, glad to see Fat Amy pull Aubrey back, hand on her, didn't want to think what Aubrey would do if she got her hands on her and followed Chloe into the dark.

"Beale… Hey Beale, wait up…" Chloe moved faster. Away. Darker. "Beale, please!"

Beca grasped at Chloe's arm. When she turned she was met with a face as red as her hair. Chloe wiped at her eyes. Tore her arm out of Beca's hold.

"You said, you fucking said you would never run from us again! You said you weren't with him. You said you loved me!"

"I-I'm not, I came after-"

"-You said..." Chloe's breath shuddered, she found words difficult but if she didn't speak she would just lash out and hit Beca. Or kiss her. Fuck. She didn't know. With Beca she never knew. "You told me over and over that, Bec! That you're in love with me, what the shit? What the actual. Shit. Bec?"

"I am. I am I am."

"What was that then?" Beca looked around her, nervous. "You're still with him! I knew it! I did I knew you were lying and I let you I-I let you lie to my face!"

"I-yeah-umm..." Beca stumbled over words she didn't have. Chloe looked straight into her eyes. Hard but somehow soft and caring. Begging.

"And you know why? Bec? Why I let you... Cause I know. I-I-I'm always so close to having you, all you, to me-just me, so close. You're here now and it's like-it's like you're so... just not, y'know. You're so close and so far out of reach. And I hate that-that I keep wanting to try. That I keep lying to myself about you, who you really are, hate that I make excuses for you to myself, excuse all you're utter... you're..."Chloe shook her head, searching for the words. "Darn it, the way you treat me, do you even stop and think about anyone outside of yourself?" Chloe sighed, sobs escaped, she shuddered. "Can't you see, Bec, that this. Us. Is fucked up. I'd forgive you anything and I know. I know! That's wrong... Isn't there something, Bec, isn't there something you want so much it actually physically... hurts?" Chloe's voice broke in the same way Beca could feel her heart doing as Chloe's tears poured down her face. Freely. Chloe couldn't, didn't have the strength left in her to fight back the tears. "Isn't that you and-and wanting to get out of this town? You... wanting to make it… Make it out on your own?" Beca nodded. Solemn. Jaw clenched tight, anything to keep her emotions from spilling. "Out of the control of your dad?" That was it, Beca couldn't take a crying sobbing Chloe any more. "But I don't-I don't have some grand purpose and you became it. For me. Everything. All I think about, day, night, always... And I'm... I'm what? Nothing. I-I it's killing me, I'm nothing to you and you're... You're mine. You're..." Tears welled in Beca's eyes. Burned Beca. She refused to let them spill over. "You're what I want. All I want. I want you so much it…" A gulp, a sniff, "Bec… I-I can't I-"

Kiss.

Beca's lips captured, fit perfectly, moulded with Chloe's.

Swallowed Chloe's tears.

Their kiss stained with Chloe's tears.

Salty.

Sad.

Bitter.

Beca pulled back, the smallest of gaps, regain her own breath. Just for a second. Beca's hand pulled Chloe back in, hair soft against her fingers, tangled, tight. Sobs rattled through both their bodies. Becas other hand made her way down to her own black jeans. She popped the button with her thumb, and pushed her way inside, past her panties, skimmed past her clit, her breath stuttered against Chloe's mouth and dipped her middle finger in. Her knees shook, twitched, as she retracted her finger, hand curled and brought it up to the corner of Chloe's mouth.

Light touch.

Beca watched Chloe fight to keep her eyes open. And lose the battle. Lose it when Beca traced her wet finger across Chloe's bottom lip, and dipped in. Feeling lightly and finding quickly Chloe's warm tongue.

Wet.

Chloe's mouth stilled against hers, Chloe licked, light, as Beca slipped her arousal into the heated gasp of Chloe. Chloe sucked, tongue leaping to the taste. Familiar. Her favourite. Tongue pressed hard and sucking more for more. And Beca felt an instant flood of more as she squeezed her thighs together. Painful. A whimper of need.

Chloe.

"Yours."


	33. Chapter 33

"Hey check out y'girl in this photo. She's looking fine!"

"She always does." Jesse smiled. Assured. As he carried on down the side walk, him and the rest of the Treblemakers headed back to the hotel. He was proud they had placed third, Bumper wasn't. Jesse didn't care. He was happy. He was doing something he enjoyed, synchronised choreographed singing, but more so he got to hang out with Benji and the other guys he had met through aca pella, and it had given him something he could share with Beca, had given him more time to spend with her. Alternating shifts at the radio station didn't suffice, he wanted to spend every spare free moment with her. He had figured that with this shared interest that would have allowed them to do just that. But somehow it had divided them. Her time always spent with the Bellas, his with the Treblemakers. But at least most nights he could head back to hers and crash. Together. Her stumbling in late from a Bella rehearsal, usually drunk, supposing that was the only way Beca could stand Aubrey. Alcohol. But thanks to Stacie, a lot of the time, at least he knew she was safe coming back home. He means her home. Nope, he does, he means home. Beca's feels like home. More home than his dorm. He sure spends more time there. Beca is home. Jesse headed back to shower, change and pick up the woman he loved. Night on the town. The two of them. Alone. He'd already booked a table at some well reviewed restaurant. Thanks Yelp. Jesse smiled to himself. His mind a wash of visions of Beca. How she looked up into his eyes, or down at his eyes as they would make love. His favorite look. He couldn't wait to see that look at the end of the night. Dark. So full of passion it almost terrified him.

"No but you're... Jess!" Bumper hit him lightly on the shoulder. "... Jesse! Man!" Another hit, harder. Firmer. "Look." Bumper whined as he shoved his phone in Jesse's face. Jesse backed up. Tried to move around Bumper. Bumper was instance. "Jesse." Bumper said like a petulant child. "Look man."

Jesse sighed, shook his head.

He already knew where Bumper was heading. Been there before. Done that.

Jesse never gave credence to what Bumper had to say, especially when it came to the shit he said about Beca and Stacie.

"Bumper man, she's not even in that photo."

"Exactly." Bumper said, eyes wide. A nod.

"What… what are you on about?"

"Check out the caption man." Bumper shoved his phone back in Jesse's face. Once. Twice. "Bro, the caption." Three times. Jesse took the phone out of Bumper's hand. Skimmed the caption. Shrugged.

"What?" Jesse said confused, "So it's Chloe now? Who next? Beca and Aubrey? Bro you're pathetic."

"Didn't you read it?" Jesse sighed at Bumper, a small smile at him.

"Bella love," Jesse read allowed. "Through to Nationals," Jesse continued. "Beca and Chloe couldn't make it in the photo because they are busy making out. Hashtag Bellas Rule"

"Right…? Bro!"

"Bumper," Jesse shrugged. Shook his head, a small smile. "That's what… meant to be serious? Don't think so."

"You're blind bro."

"And you're delusional."

"Blind." Bumpers eyes were wide. He was up in Jesse's face. Perfectly Bumper. Obnoxious. "Blind!"

"Delusional."

"What was the kiss back at Sectionals about then?"

"They all kissed, I saw Amy kissing Cynthia. What does that mean?" Bumped opened and closed his mouth.

"Uhhh..."

"See. Nothing. It means nothing."

* * *

 

"Bree what the shit?"

"Pardon?" Aubrey turned, Chloe had barged past her when she had opened the door to Chloe's incessant knocking. No. Not knocking. Banging.

"Why did you post that?!" Chloe's head held high, face beet red. She shook.

"Post what?" Air of arrogance and superiority went straight up around Aubrey.

"Don't!" Chloe didn't believe it, wouldn't fall for it for one second. Saw straight through her best friends fake words. "You know exactly what I mean. Why are you acting like this with me?" Chloe shook her head, really couldn't believe Aubrey. They had been through everything together, Aubrey was the only person she had really opened up to, she could be close with almost anyone but really letting someone in emotionally, deep and real, it had been Aubrey, her entire life. Up until she had met Beca, and she had zoomed through some crack in her shields and gotten under her skin in a way that was so different to how her and Aubrey had always been. How she wanted her and Aubrey to always be. Beca became, so quickly, what she had always wanted with Aubrey. Didn't always know it. Kinda did. Had resigned to never being. Never good enough. "Why would you put that up?"

"It's true." Aubrey threw at her. "Right?" What was that? Vulnerability? That Chloe detected. Aubrey knew it was true. Wished it wasn't. Wished from the moment that she had seen how Chloe reacted, short stuttering breaths, a pink flush across her chest, from the moment she had laid eyes on Beca. "Maybe Jesse deserves to know." She figured if it all came out, Beca would go running, Chloe would be left alone. Again. And all of Chloe's attention would be back on her. Where it belongs. Where she didn't realise that she had missed it. Chloe's eyes on her. "Huh you ever think of that?"

"You don't give a shit about him. You hate her. You hate Bec, don't pretend like you did that out of some, like that was out of good intentions. Just don't." Aubrey stood silent. Head high. Blasé look on her face. Superior. "You hate her more than you care for me?" Chloe waited for an answer. None. Was it true then? Did Aubrey really have so much bile and hatred built up towards Beca that she would knowingly, no, with intent screw over Chloe's own happiness. "Do you want to hurt her so much, you have no idea about her, you know nothing, you want to hurt her so much that you're fine hurting me in the process?" Waited. No response. "What? You cool with that?"

"No?" Aubrey tried to sound firm. Her own emotions broke through. Betrayed her. She saw it picked up, what she had laid down, in Chloe's eyes. The hurt.

"Well you have." Chloe's voice came out small. She studied every minute inflection and crease in Aubrey's face. Looked for a crack. A way in. A way to figure out what the shit Aubrey was thinking. Instead of seeing a crack, the emotions seeping through, the truth. Chloe saw them smoothed over, walls back up. The Aubrey that Aubrey presented to the rest of the world. Not to her. Chloe felt belittled, her back against the wall, she didn't know how to deal with this version of Aubrey. Chloe had no choice. Fight back. "She once a-fuckin-gain isn't speaking to me!" Chloe puffed her chest out, shoulders back, she wasn't going to let Aubrey get away with pulling this shit. "Her stuff is gone from the room, and-and she's not answering her phone... all because... because of you!" Aubrey's complete lack of a reaction, face having stayed smooth, unblinking, riled Chloe up more. Chloe had to change tactic, didn't know what. Had never needed to. Not with Aubrey. She had always known how to handle her. But now? "Why can't-"

"-No." Aubrey stepped up into Chloe's space. Chloe held her head higher. Aubrey could tell she couldn't intimidate Chloe. But she could try. "You did this." Poke. Aubrey's finger in Chloe's chest. She thought Chloe would back up, surrender. She didn't. Pushed back. Stepped forward. "You knew they were together and you still..." Aubrey didn't have the words for what Chloe and Beca had still went and done despite Jesse being in the picture. No she did have the words. Couldn't let them even form in her mind. Words conjured pictures. Pictures streamed into a movie. And in that movie she saw Chloe. She saw Beca. Fucking. Together. "Chloe just-just leave, her, stop messing about with her. I want you to be happy," With me. "I do. But-just- just not her."

"No!" Chlo gasped. "I didn't!" Did Aubrey really think that low of her? That she would fuck about behind Jesse's back. "Do you think I'd mess around with her if I had known..." Chloe looked at Aubrey in disbelief. "...they're together?" Aubrey looked at Chloe in disbelief. How was she meant to believe that after Chloe had, no, fuck no, Aubrey didn't want to think about that, about them, her and Chloe fucking behind Stacie's back. "Why do you give a shit who makes me happy?!" Chloe felt the dead air between them. Expected an answer. Received none. "...and she does." Chloe's voice came out small. "She." Confidence ran through her veins again when she saw the way Aubrey shrank back. "Makes me happy."

"Is that why all you've done is cry over her?" Aubrey's voice came out small. Eyes looked everywhere but at Chloe. Every time she looked at Chloe all she could see is Beca all over her. Couldn't bare it. "Yeah looks swell to me."

"That's when she's not with me, I wouldn't be crying so much over her and miss her so much if she... when we're together I… she makes me happy. Don't I deserve that? Bree you can't deny me that. You can't be the only one…" Chloe thought about stopping there. She didn't owe Aubrey the truth. That she, Aubrey, makes her happy. Always has. "...the only one to make me happy, you've got Stacie and I, I've got her. At-at least I did…"

"But you didn't, she's with..." Chloe held back his name, couldn't say it even if she wanted to. "...Beca's with... him." Chloe spat out the word, heard his name in her mind, heard a ghost of Beca's voice saying his name, no moaning his name, and hated it, couldn't escape it being the truth any more. "And you've pretty much fucked up me and Stacie, thank you. Very much."

"Wh-what?" Chloe bit back how happy her voice sounded. "What are you...?"

"...She knows, I-I fuck... I told her..." Aubrey saw how wide and scared Chloe's eyes went, liked the fear she struck in Chloe. But decided to let her know the extent of what she told Stacie. Truth. Sure. Not the whole truth. "...we kissed," Chloe's shoulders relaxed. "Okay? That night outside of the club I told her. I-I had to otherwise... fuck! But that's all I said."

"I-I- sorry I am I-"

"-Don't, you've done enough..." Aubrey's words came out more bitter than she intended. "...innocent," Not true, looked it, wasn't. "beautiful," Very much true, Aubrey hadn't met anyone as beautiful as her. Stacie came close. But was still second. "Chloe. I can't believe I let you..." Aubrey's eyes locked and widened with Chloe's. "That night... I-I let you…"

Chloe smiled. Bitterly. A small laugh. Something deep in her was glad to see someone, even Aubrey in as much pain as she was.

"Yeah." She bit her lip. "Yeah that was hot."

"Fuck you."

"Hey you didn't stop me." A small shrug. "Maybe Stacie deserves to know all about that. All about us-"

"-Don't!" Chloe liked the panic in Aubrey's eyes. Knew Aubrey had no more moves, no more cards to play. "Don't you dare." Aubrey's word's went from a threat to a beg. A plead. "Please..."

"...That's what this is about, right? Not Jesse, not Beca, not even me really, its your guilt."

"No?"

"Yeah." Chloe smiled. Smug.

"No..." Aubrey's voice smaller. Her posture and demeanour shrank.

"Yeah, totally. Because you… you cheated on her."

* * *

 

"That... that doesn't mean anything, that's just Aubrey being Aubrey."

"I didn't think it uh did... uh mean... anything, erm I mean I-I I wasn't even going to mention it," Jesse was taken back. Surprised by Beca's reaction. He was expecting her to shrug it off, laugh at what he had been told but she had went into full panic mode. "really, paid no mind, just Bumper uh being Bumper."

"Yeah uhhh it doesn't just Aubrey, heh y'know?" Beca's hand ran through her hair.

"You're... you're lying." Jesse studied her face. He had seen every feature move and respond like that before. Why hadn't he picked up on this before? "Bec what-what are you, are you... what are you lying about?"

"I'm not!" Beca took her hand out of her hair, laid it flat on the table. Silence built between them. Jesse waited, he was patient with her. Beca picked her fork back up, prodded at her lunch. She was set to return with him from Regionals. She'd already taken her stuff from Chloe's room and taken it to his. They'd hire a car and head back to the real world together. She hadn't really thought it through. Chloe. She'd been swept up in Chloe. Jesse had been forgotten. No. Ignored. And he had taken it, no problem, with the excuse that all her time had to be focused on the Bellas leading up to Regionals, but most of that last few days had been with Chloe. A foggy dream of Chloe. One she wanted to put her head back down, force sleep, and get back to. But no. That never works, you wake up in the world and that's reality. The one you're stuck with. Have to live with. Jesse. "...Nothing honestly nothing happened, I'm-I'm not lying it's just-just Aubrey being Aubrey..."

"Stop..." Jesse looked down into his own food. Spoke quietly. Calm. "Just stop lying..."

"I'm not!" Beca threw her fork down.

"Bec just-just stop," He looked up then. Into her eyes. Saw the pain. The hurt. She could only look that troubled if she was hiding something from him. She should be shrugging this off, laughing at it and dismissing it the way he had. She wasn't. This was really getting to her. "Don't say anything else. I don't wanna hear you lie to me. Just, just promise you won't lie to me again and you won't see her again."

Beca nodded.

Beca's eyes were wide, shifty, looked away from him. Down. Her lap. She crossed her hands in it. They felt empty without Chloe's in them. Should she tell him? Be honest. He was already drawing the lines between the dots. He had already put the jigsaw pieces together. She didn't have to say it, tell him. About Chloe. Fucking Chloe. That damn red head.

"I'm gonna go-"

"-But...What? But-"

"-You need like time or space or something to really decide what you want. Who. I'll catch a ride back to college with the guys in the morning if you want."

"Jess-"

"-Beca. Please. You're lying to me or-or yourself. I-I dunno, I-you just lemme know, y'know but don't ever. I mean don't. Ever. Lie. To me again."

* * *

 

"Bec?"

"Don't Jess, please don't just-just let me speak." Beca spoke into her phone, from where she stood on the sidewalk outside the hotel. "Jesse I choose you. You. Okay? I choose you. I'll never see her again. I'll quit the stupid Bellas. I swear I won't ever-"

"-Are you admitting something happened?"

"-no no Jesse-it nothing ever happened I just-if you even think that it might have that-that would kill me, so yeah I'll quit them for you. I'll not see her again. Ever. I choose you over them, over her."

"Okay."

"Yeah? Okay you're- we're we're good?"

"Yeah Bec were good." Beca heard the sadness in his voice. Why didn't he sound as happy as she did. If she could fake it, he damn well could too.

"Can I come up to your room?" Silence. "Please? Jess?"

"Sure. Sure if..."

"Yeah? Anything."

"Admit it, please I've already... I forgive you, we can get past this but please Bec, don't lie. Admit it. Tell me the truth about you and Chloe so we can move past this. Together."

"I-I..."

"Bec..."

"Jess I-we..."

"Bec... tell me."

"Fine! You wanna know?!"

"Yes..." Jesse spoke softly. "Yes please."

"Fine! She-fuck!-she used to, we used to get drunk-" Beca sobbed. Was surprised by it, held her hand over her mouth, wiped tears away, and then continued. "She'd get me steaming drunk, we'd fool around but nothing more than that and it was-it was before you, I guess the others knew, Aubrey that fucking bitch knew we used to make out, but it was, only cause, cause I was wasted I would fuck! I would never go there, I'd never do that, normally, sober I mean I'm not fucking, fuck I'm not attracted to her, to women it's just I dunno her and it's college and fuck! It was all before you I swear I never I would never do that to you, to us, I-I fuck Jesse I love you. I-" The air stuck in her throat, those words had been swimming in her head, about to spill over and out her mouth since he had picked up the phone. Figured it would block out anything else she would say, confess, to him, and all he would remember was those words. "I love you."

"I love you too Bec."


End file.
